Paula Deen Succumbs to a Barbecuegasm

Food Network

By B-Side | | 11:32 am | 28 Comments

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When it comes to Food Network cholesterol maven Paula Deen, sg-dub is usually the man who captures all her excess. However, I happened to catch her gushing over some barbecue, and I knew I had to share her joy with all y’all. Check out the pics of Paula’s orgasmic moment after the jump…

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“Hey y’all. Welcome to Texas! Today we’re going to make deep-fried butter cutlets with a side of–”

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“Wait! I smell barbecue!”

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“Hey hey hey, BBQ. Whatchu up to?”

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“Momma’s ready to eat you up!”

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The resident cowboy slices some brisket for Paula. If there’s any doubt about her orgasmic glee, listen to this audio clip.

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Time for Paula to sneak a piece…

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“I’m gonna eat this up, y’all.”

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“Mmmmm…”

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“Holy Jebus.”

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“It’s like a million sticks of butter all at once, y’all.”

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“Makes me remember the first time I tasted lard à la mode.”

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“You don’t know what you’ve done, Tom. You’ve unleashed the beast.”

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“Is somebody playin’ Barry White? Or is that just in my head?”

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“Does this turn you on?”

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“I think I love you, cowboy.”

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“Come here, Tom.”

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“Don’t resist, y’all.”

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“Taste the Deen.”

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PASSION!

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Uncomfortable PASSION!

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“Never forget me, Tom.”

About

28 Comments

  1. 1
    Ubiquitous
    Posted May 31, 2006 at 11:48 am

    Bwah!

  2. 2
    k37744
    Posted May 31, 2006 at 11:55 am

    i think most barbeque passion is uncomfortable passion.

  3. 3
    TaxGirl
    Posted May 31, 2006 at 11:56 am

    OMG!

    Great Pictures! You could see his head turn ever so slowly and then tilt a bit then she went in for the kill! His hands never left the cutting board, but he now has the juice from the BBQ behind his ears!

    The audio is definitely a ‘gasm!

    Awesome catch B-Side!

  4. 4
    holyterror
    Posted May 31, 2006 at 12:08 pm

    She also had a special burger show in which she actually went back and dipped the bun into the extra blue cheese and grease that had squeezed out of a blue cheese stuffed burger.

  5. 5
    zevonia
    Posted May 31, 2006 at 12:12 pm

    Holy Jebus, that was a killer, B-Side. That woman is unbelievable!

  6. 6
    alienlips
    Posted May 31, 2006 at 12:14 pm

    He still has his knife in his hand while she is kissing him! Never know when you might need some backup if the passion gets to be too much!

  7. 7
    zevonia
    Posted May 31, 2006 at 12:14 pm

    And the audio clip was pure genius!

  8. 8
    mirenis
    Posted May 31, 2006 at 12:23 pm

    holyterror: I saw the burger show! Not only did she sop up the extra grease with the bun, she then smeared mayo all over it! AND, instead of draining the grease from her ground beef (for sloppy joe’s) she added flour to thicken the “sauce”. Mmmmm..grease sauce.

  9. 9
    brutal youth
    Posted May 31, 2006 at 12:44 pm

    I am lobbying right now for more of these food network recaps. They are hilarious! Paula Deen herself could supply enough material, but I saw a show in which Rachel Ray proceeded to call her mother ‘Mommy’ for the full 30 min and look half drunk at the same time- these should come more often, please! Please, Y’all!

  10. 10
    EdHill
    Posted May 31, 2006 at 12:54 pm

    Briliant.

  11. 11
    stacyrocks
    Posted May 31, 2006 at 1:33 pm

    “Holy Jebus”!! LoL! So awesome! :)

  12. 12
    boomersmommy
    Posted May 31, 2006 at 2:31 pm

    Hey,EdHill–there’s two “Ls” in Brilliant. I should know–I live in Brilliant, Ohio.

  13. 13
    boomersmommy
    Posted May 31, 2006 at 2:32 pm

    Hey,EdHill–there’s two “Ls” in Brilliant. I should know–I live in Brilliant, Ohio. And I graduated from Brilliant High School. Guess that made me a Brilliant student.

  14. 14
    sg-dub
    Posted May 31, 2006 at 2:58 pm

    …Who doesn’t know when to hit the little Post button.

  15. 15
    boomersmommy
    Posted May 31, 2006 at 3:40 pm

    The posting glitch was on your side, sweetie, not mine. Seen it happen too many times on this site.

  16. 16
    sg-dub
    Posted May 31, 2006 at 3:55 pm

    Never! TVgasm is perfect in every way.

  17. 17
    hazasaem
    Posted May 31, 2006 at 4:33 pm

    I love Paula and all her wackiness and high fat content food. LOVE YA PAULA!

  18. 18
    gina64
    Posted May 31, 2006 at 6:55 pm

    This is why I love Paula Deen. And your awesome (but only too rare) Food Network recaps.

  19. 19
    tvtvtv
    Posted May 31, 2006 at 8:16 pm

    I wuv Paula. She’s a freak in nice ol’ Southern lady’s clothing. And #9, I feel fairly confident that Rachael hits the chef juice early and often, and writes and tests all her 8 million recipes with a nice little buzz on. Can’t say as I blame her…

  20. 20
    The Svan
    Posted May 31, 2006 at 8:42 pm

    Paula is married. And not to that man if The Svan is seeing him correctly.

  21. 21
    Jess
    Posted June 1, 2006 at 9:39 am

    That’s it–the Paula Deen steakgasm is my new ringtone.

    Holy Jebus!

  22. 22
    PoopsMcgee
    Posted June 1, 2006 at 9:42 am

    I love Paula, and I love these Paula recaps. My favorite Paulagasm has to have been when she picked up a grilled sandwich, and eyed the butter across the table. Then she launched the sandwich into the bowl, took a heaping scoop and exclaimed with childish glee, “Ooop! I dropped it in the butter!” This one seems on par with that one, indeed as Paula LOVES her BBQ.

    I love that woman. :)

  23. 23
    conrad5
    Posted June 1, 2006 at 10:30 am

    I agree with Brutal Yute. Bring on the FoodTV recaps! My favorite subjects of ridicule/admiration are: Rachael Ray, Paula Deen, Giada DeLaurentis, Alton (the retentive) Brown, and Michael Spatafore..I mean Chiarello. It’s an embarrassment of riches!

  24. 24
    rootietoot
    Posted June 1, 2006 at 2:15 pm

    Paula Deen ought to weigh 400 pounds.

    My favorite Deenism was when she *oops* dumped a whole bottle of Southern Comfort into the eggnog.

  25. 25
    lois
    Posted June 2, 2006 at 4:49 pm

    I looove it y’all!

    Where do I find the audio clip?

  26. 26
    mcsquared65
    Posted June 8, 2006 at 4:10 pm

    This has to be the best recap ever.

    And I gotta chime in: More Food Network please! We’re starving!!

  27. 27
    littered
    Posted June 15, 2006 at 10:48 am

    Paula is a bad, bad girl. She says soooo many naughty things with that wicked gleam in her eye. Did anyone else see that show where she went on and on about how “I looooove to rub my meat”? and “everybody knows I like my balls nice and big!”

  28. 28
    Donna Martin Graduates!
    Posted June 17, 2006 at 3:46 pm

    conrad5 (#23) I concur with your list, in that order, but there’s gotta be room for snark on the insufferably arrogant Bobby Flay.

    I think he thinks his freaky, over-plucked, tranny eyebrows deserve their own star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

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