What’s The Deal With This Show?

Game Shows

By B-Side | | 4:22 pm | 22 Comments

deal2-27-06.12My new favorite obsession? Deal or No Deal. This game show requires absolutely no skill or talent, and yet, it’s like the most exciting thing ever — especially when Donald Trump stops by, which is exactly what happened last night. It’s nice to have a game show sensation back on the air, and I’ll be happy to ride this one out until massive over-exposure burns this bad boy into the ground. And considering that few networks like to grind things into the ground like NBC, chances are we’ll all be done with this show in about five days. So why not enjoy it while we can — before the annoying Deal or No Deal board games and pajamas and afternoon versions-hosted-by-Meredith-Vierra come out. God, Deal or No Deal pajamas? That’s just creepy.

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Damn. I forgot Howie Mandel hosted this thing. Maybe I don’t want to watch after all.

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Okay, Peter. Time to bring home the big bucks.

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$17,000? LAME. No deal!!

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Ouch. That hurts. And don’t give us any of that faux-sympathy, missy. Just close your briefcase and get out of here. Tramp.

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I wonder what’s in briefcase 18? Surely we’ll find out…

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…AFTER THE COMMERCIAL BREAK! DAMN YOU!!!

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Okay, it’s getting exciting now. He has to go for it.

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Now it’s up to $199,000. Tough decision. If only there were someone who could help out. Perhaps a wayward billionaire to lend some insight. If only…

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Oh SHIT! It’s Donald Trump!! Star of NBC’s The Apprentice! Which is premiering after THIS VERY SHOW!!!

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“Hugging me is a THIRTY BILLION DOLLAR INDUSTRY.”

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Donald’s verdict: NO DEAL!!!

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Wifey: “Don’t you dare listen to that bastard. DEAL.”

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“No sex for a month or some extra cash. Decisions, decisions.”

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“Screw the bitch. NO DEAL!!!”

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“I married an idiot.”

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SWEET SASSY MOLASSY!!!

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Peter lets out his thirty-first high pitched scream of the evening.

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“I married a wonderful man!!”

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Okay. $279,000. He has to go for it. Worst case scenario, the deal drops back down to around $150,000. Go for it, dude. GO FOR IT!!!

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“Don’t even think about it. Deal. DEAL.”

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“Think of all the Lazy Boys I could buy. I could have a whole army.”

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“Press the damn button you fat-ass motherf*cker. I hate you so much, I want to stick your nuts in a garlic press. DEAL, F*CKER, DEAL!!!”

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“My wife’s a skank. Don’t listen to her. NO DEAL!”

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“Wha-wha-whaaa?”

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“He’s dead to me. Somebody get me some Celine Dion and a pint of Chubby Hubby.”

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It all comes down to this, and oh no. It looks like this might be a huuuge disaster.

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Aw shit! Bitch faked us out!!! Bet you’re proud of yourself, huh?

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“DREW LACHEY WON DANCING WITH THE STARS!!! YES!!!!”

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“Bingo.”

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“OMIGOD! I love this man more than life itself!!”

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“Now quit playing around and make the f*ckin’ deal, you dipshit.”

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The deal is over $300,000 now, and uh oh. Trump’s waving Peter over.

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“You know what? Take the money.”

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“Take the money.”

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“Take the GODDAMN MONEY BEFORE I DO!!!”

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It’s a deal!

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It’s an AMAZING deal!!

howie_mandel
And Howie Mandel’s still not funny.

About

22 Comments

  1. 1
    Doodle
    Posted February 28, 2006 at 4:33 pm

    Ok So I was watching this last night, calling my girlfriend in every commercial break. I was wonding if the ‘gasm was gonna jump on this one. I thought “that guy is soooo getting divorced” his wife was NOT screwing around….
    LOVED IT

  2. 2
    jash
    Posted February 28, 2006 at 4:37 pm

    i still think having the donald was one.

    this game show isnt called “BE BANKRUPT AND ACT LIKE A JACKASS BILLIONAIRE WHILE FLOATING ON COMMERCIAL PAPER”

  3. 3
    juxtapoeser
    Posted February 28, 2006 at 4:53 pm

    I turned it off once the donald came out.
    can’t stand that guy. and i hate all his shameless plugs…and i don’t mean the hair plugs…
    Howie mandel is looking more like a cross between Dr. Evil and more like Harry from sex and the city (charlottes #2 hubby)

  4. 4
    Posted February 28, 2006 at 5:32 pm

    That dude was Las Vegas swat? Every time he screemed it sounded like a 12 year old girl having an orgasm. I’ll bet he really intimidates those criminals hold up in some house that has been surrounded and to hear a twelve year old girl screeming “come out with you’re hands up”! I can see why his wife makes all the “decisions”. Maybe she has to come out to shout to the crooks so they don’t die laughing.

  5. 5
    paco
    Posted March 1, 2006 at 7:43 am

    You mention Drew Lachey from Dancing with the Stars… Here in Australia some bright network exec thought it would be a great idea to combine “Deal or no Deal” and “Dancing with the Stars” to create “Dancing with the Deal”.

    This involves the b-grade celebrity dancers, playing celebrity rounds of deal…. Aren’t we lucky… and let’s not even start talking about our host…

  6. 6
    hardly@work
    Posted March 1, 2006 at 7:48 am

    so I watched this for the first time last night (tues.) – the choir episode- this show makes me nuts, I find myself screaming “What is wrong with you people? Take the f’in money!” I don’t know if I can take another episode.

  7. 7
    JennyTeflon
    Posted March 1, 2006 at 7:57 am

    Your post made me sign up for commenting because I had to tell you this is absolutely the funniest thing I’ve ever read on TVgasm! And I don’t even watch this show.

  8. 8
    Tabby Lavalamp
    Posted March 1, 2006 at 8:13 am

    I’d love to go on the show just to take the first deal presented. Bwahaha.
    And for the record, Howie Mandel used to be funny. I saw him live twice back in the day (the used to be funny day) and he killed. But that was clean-shaven, curly-haired Howie. Not bald and goateed Howie.

  9. 9
    spaceyja
    Posted March 1, 2006 at 8:53 am

    This recap was almost as funny as the Giadda disaster! Freakin’ hilarious.

  10. 10
    RealityTV4Me
    Posted March 1, 2006 at 9:20 am

    I am convinced that I will absolutely die if I watch this show. It makes no sense to me whatsoever. Someone explain the premise. Do they want to make a deal or is it better not to? I don’t get it.

    And speaking of reality/game shows, I was ever so glad to see TAR back on last night. Very first episode and they are in Brazil. It’s about time!

  11. 11
    hog island
    Posted March 1, 2006 at 9:47 am

    This was great. But nothing compares to the Giada disaster post.

  12. 12
    AbbyAnn
    Posted March 1, 2006 at 9:47 am

    RealityTV4Me, there are 26 cases, each with an amount of money between one cent and one million dollars (or more, because they added a bonus amount of 1.5 mill last night.) The player picks one case to keep as his (without knowing what’s inside.) Then he must pick 6 other cases to be opened, hoping that they have small amounts in them, thus raising the odds that his case has a big amount. He is then offered an amount of money to stop (that’s the deal or no deal part.) If he says no deal and keeps going, he chooses 5 more cases to be opened. If they reveal mostly small amounts again, the next deal offer will go up, but if they open up cases with big amounts in them, the deal offer goes down because it is less likely that the player’s case has a big amount in it. When there are only a few cases left, the deals get pretty big. For example, there are 4 cases left, including the one the player has. There are amounts of $1, $5, $500,000, and $750,000 left out there. Do you take the deal and walk away with what is being offered, such as $250,000, or do you keep going in hopes that your case has the big money in it and not the $1 or $5?

  13. 13
    Sher
    Posted March 1, 2006 at 10:39 am

    “SWEET SASSY MOLASSY!!!”

    Hysterical!

    I watched Monday night and got sucked in. I was one of the ‘I’m screaming at the TV even though I know they can’t hear me’ idiots. I couldn’t help myself.

  14. 14
    2 Old 4 This
    Posted March 1, 2006 at 1:26 pm

    I’ve said it before & I’ll say it again:

    B-Side, I LOVE YOU !!!

    Paco in post #5 – I must know – who’s the Aussie host?

  15. 15
    Cobra Kai
    Posted March 1, 2006 at 2:12 pm

    C’mon, where was the PASSION! screen-cap? Kept scrolling and waiting, waiting, waiting….god I have no life.

  16. 16
    Court_Love
    Posted March 1, 2006 at 2:23 pm

    PS Howie Mandel is a germ-a phobe, thats why he doesnt shake hands with people….he “pounds” it.

    Not like anyone would want to touch him anyways.

  17. 17
    livemusicjunkie
    Posted March 1, 2006 at 3:26 pm

    I like Howie. Haven’t had a chance to watch this show, though.

    And as a “PS” what the heck is the “Giadda fiasco” I keep reading about???

  18. 18
    james_woods_rules
    Posted March 1, 2006 at 3:59 pm

    YEAH TABBY!! #8

    I never saw him live, but I saw his comedy central specials and I thought he was really funny. Especially this one time when he got this drunk bastard up on stage that had been heckling him. It was hilarious! Oh yeah, and then he made these two whole rows of people switch places, and when this lady came back from the bathroom, she was all confused and he told her that’s what she got for leaving in the middle of his show. I thought it was funny, anyway.

    B-Side, your recap was awesome! I think the whole show should be done with stills and commentary underneath.

  19. 19
    KatiesHole
    Posted March 1, 2006 at 4:26 pm

    I’d rather watch Ashley Parker Asshole than this show.

    KH

  20. 20
    America's Next Top Fan
    Posted March 1, 2006 at 6:57 pm

    So did the guy win the money or did his wife crack his nuts with the garlic press? Please someone. I need to know.

  21. 21
    dahrache
    Posted March 1, 2006 at 9:30 pm

    I have no idea why I keep watching this show but I do. It’s just a guessing game. That being said, I was watching this episode with my family and we all picked suitcases at the beginning. I picked 17, the million dollar case. Then when they had the play at home game for $10,000, I picked the right case. I should have headed to Vegas, I was doing so well.

    I also thought that couple was heading to divorce court. I loved it when one of his friends kept telling him to go for it and she ended up yelling at the friend. The idea of that man being involved in a SWAT situation really makes me nervous.

    America’s Next Top Fan, he took the deal for over $300,000. If he had kept his case, he would have only won $25.

  22. 22
    Donna Martin Graduates!
    Posted March 4, 2006 at 11:33 am

    lmj (#17) — I’ll put you outa your misery.

    Giada disaster was covered here —
    http://www.tvgasm.com/archives/food_network/001570.php

    If you watch Deal/No Deal on tivo single-fast-forward, it’s a lot less painful.

    Afterwards, you can read the hilarious recap.

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