Glass House Internet Coverage: 5 Hours of Torture!

Recaps

By Chooch | Tuesday, June 19, 2012 | 9:03 pm | 16 Comments
Tagged: , ,
Posted in: Glass House, Recaps

It was time for birthday girl Ashley to have some BOOZE at her party! Viewers got to choose whether they had beer helmets or boxed wine. The guys hollered for beer helmets. Of course the girls wanted wine.  Viewers voted…..

BEER HELMETS!! One for everyone. There were some who abstained. Robin didn’t drink. She’s never in her life, ever had a cold beer! Apollo didn’t drink. I don’t think Andrea did either and I don’t think Hollywood had any. Party Boy “wasn’t down with that?” He put tin foil on his  tubes. Maybe he was just chillin’ his brew.

The “voice” assured them that there was plenty more in the storeroom. Maybe now they can all get drunk and turn into assholes! I was hoping, but there are only a few who could turn ugly fast and 2 of them were in “limbo”! Joy seems like she could be a bitch if she had enough alcohol. Robin is already a bitch and she decided not to drink. Erica has potential. We all know those cocktail waitresses can get sooooo emotional. She’s been touchy-feely with everyone ever sense she cracked open her first beer.

Poor Jeffrey, took his beer helmet off because it was dribbling all over his shirt. He didn’t want to smell like a brewery. Besides it would leave a stain! He poured his beer into a tall glass and started to drink it. That was a big NO-NO! The “voice” immediately told him to put his helmet back on. Like a good boy, Jeffrey complied. WTF? He didn’t even ask why or protest or anything at all. Nothing! LAME! Why didn’t we get to vote on that? Should Jeffrey put his helmet back on? Should Jeffrey tell the “voice” to fuck off?

Here we are…. all being controlled by a voice talking to us from a TV screen. We will do whatever she says no matter what. We truly believe that viewers are voting for everything we are doing, but are they really? Where’s the proof? Oh wait, she is talking… everybody be quiet… shhhhh!!! The viewers have voted to give Ashley a birthday present. She can have either a silly t-shirt or a bag of dog shit jar of large cookies. The viewers have chosen……

Ah too bad Ashley, you got cookies. She was begging for the t-shirt. With all that cake and now these cookies, you know what could happen to these contestants….

Exactly!

Viewers were asked last week to vote on a name for the “voice”. Their choices were Marie, Oracle (ORI), A.I.REAL and Crystal. The contestants have been calling her Oracle from the start. This is the name the viewers picked. Now the contestants call her ORI and I will too. I hate ORI. I just wish she’d shut up, but NO, she wants viewers to get to know these people better. Now they have to vote again. This time it’s ” Tell us your worst birthday experience OR Tell us your happiest birthday experience”. Of course, the viewers want to hear the worst thing that ever happened. No wants to hear happy thoughts, especially after they’ve been drinking beer.

Ashley’s 16th birthday party in New Orleans was at her grandma’s house on the lake. It got rained out and even washed her cake right down the river. Jeffrey never had a surprise party, so he held his own. It was at an Ethiopian restaurant. The food was awful. (what did he expect? eww!) The people who did bother to show up, hated it and to top it off, he forgot to get a cake. Hollywood would always get an awesome present if he got straight A’s. This one year, he got a “B”. All of his presents were clothes. Little did he know, his mom was in the basement, bogarting his Super Nintendo for herself.

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About

I'm a retired barwhore, who owned a drinking establishment for 20+ years. I've seen it all & done alot of it myself. I AM TV Patrol! I keep you all informed on new shows, specials, cancellations & the Nielson Ratings. I also contribute to "About Last Night". Award shows & the red carpet fashions in "Fashiongasm" are also on my agenda. I'm an expert in television viewing & I'm not afraid to voice my opinion about what sucks or doesn't suck on TV. Oh... and I'm always right.

16 Comments

  1. 1
    ThereBeNoShelterHere
    Posted June 19, 2012 at 11:36 pm

    Ethiopian food rules.

  2. 2
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted June 19, 2012 at 11:53 pm

    Picking up tiny shards of glass with a slice of bread? Genius. I’m squirreling that away for future reference..

  3. 3
    itchy itchy
    Posted June 20, 2012 at 12:03 am

    I feel for you Chooch, I really do. This show sounds so fucking lame, just a ripoff of the Big Brother format with just enough lame twists to make Big Brother sound like Masterpiece Theater. The whole “America gets to choose” angle is just plain stupid.

    For a good laugh, that asshat Alex’s intro/bio video is on youtube. What a douchebag. No. He’s the fluid that comes out after the douche. What’s that stuff called? It’s not santorum, but surely it has a name – palin?

    Oh, and I love Ethopian food. Especially because everyone eats with their hands. Hmm….come to think of it, I haven’t made any Ethopian food for a while now… mmmm…..

  4. 4
    Cherie Cherie
    Posted June 20, 2012 at 1:42 am

    You deserve a medal. A BIG ASS MEDAL. I missed the show, I think my DemonVR just refused to tape it. It makes those last couple of days in BB look down right ENJOYABLE. You know, when there’s only like 3 people left and they give them finger paints? I’d rather watch THAT any day!
    But I love you!!!

  5. 5
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted June 20, 2012 at 2:00 am

    I agree. Too much ‘audience participation.’ I understanding voting on the players in ‘limbo’, but voting on which cake you like best? Lame.

    @itchy: LOL @ “the fluid after douche.” I say, Alex is the fluid before the douche. Spooge. Just waiting to get flushed out.

  6. 6
    Pikey
    Posted June 20, 2012 at 5:42 am

    Know what I love about this show? Having Cooch recap and the awesome comments that follow! It makes me anxious for the Big Brother coverage on TVGasm (and the forums, of course)! Hope we get the forums in time cause BB won’t be the same without them…

  7. 7
    snowshoecat snowshoecat
    Posted June 20, 2012 at 7:38 am

    Chooch, what a sacrifice. Tell Flipit you deserve a raise for spending all that time watching this…this…this.

    Irish Mike hit a brain button. He reminded me of somebody, and that bothered me until I realized that he reminds me of the grandfather/douche on RPDR this past season. His name was Mike and he seems to be a fame whore, having been on another “reality” show. Can’t remember the name of the epi since we can no longer access old recaps (ahem, Flip). Does anybody recognize him?

  8. 8
    chaosbutterfly
    Posted June 20, 2012 at 8:18 am

    @SSC, it’s sadly not the same Mike. RPDR Mike was fatter and his face was better looking. They are similar though….couple of attention heauxs.

  9. 9
    HandyManda
    Posted June 20, 2012 at 10:57 am

    This show just makes me all the more ready for BB.

    Alex looks like he should be lunching in a country club somewhere, not douching up my tv. He can go. Like someone said in the minicap…he’s not a villian! He’s just irritating and mean.

  10. 10
    Miss Molly
    Posted June 20, 2012 at 10:59 am

    I did watch yesterdays webcast – they spelled words and discussed “stay at home dads”.
    Luckily I didn’t have a razor blade or I would have cut myself.
    I hate Alex but now I am hoping he does come back just so I am not tempted to watch it again.

  11. 11
    LOSTbean LOSTbean
    Posted June 20, 2012 at 2:03 pm

    Betchya Alex comes back in…he’s like the Colton from Survivor.

  12. 12
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted June 20, 2012 at 2:23 pm

    No, Colton strategized and made alliances of teammates. Alex has no alliances in that house nor will he make any. He also lacks an immunity idol, lol.

  13. 13
    chooch850
    Posted June 20, 2012 at 4:38 pm

    No one in the house seems to want Alex back, that’s for sure. His only friend was Jacob. From what I’ve read on-line, no one is voting him back into the house either.

    Can I say this…. I’m just SO happy to see all of my Big Brother friends posting. It’s been so long since we’ve been together. I feel like we’re having a BB reunion. The media is going to be allowed into the new BB14 house on Friday (June 22nd) so they can “play the game” for a day. This means right after that, there will be a flood of pictures and info of what the new decor looks like. I will get this info to you as fast as I can.

  14. 14
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted June 20, 2012 at 4:59 pm

    Thanks, Chooch!! I’m looking forward to it. And if the forums aren’t up, we’ll still come out and hang on the main site. We’ll just keep the feed spoilers out of the first two sentences of our posts (as that appears on the front page) but we shouldn’t let it deter us. Who knows? it may even attract a bigger party of people who never thought to check the forums for cool happenings. All-in-all, I’m looking forward to BB even though watching/reading the feeds always makes me peckish. It’s something about watching people crunch, munch, and whisper that makes me grab the snacks! Weird, i know.. *hangs head*

  15. 15
    itchy itchy
    Posted June 21, 2012 at 3:07 am

    Hmm… who wants to bet CBS opened up their wallet for a few last-minute upgrades to the BB house?

  16. 16
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted June 21, 2012 at 10:07 pm

    @itchy, did you see CBS’ passive aggressive press release? They said they are developing a new show called Dancing ON the Stars as well as a new sitcom called Postmodern Family. Lol! They are bitter… No need, BB has the proven fan base, why feel threatened? ABC doesn’t have the Chenbot!

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