Glass House Internet Coverage: 5 Hours of Torture!

Recaps

By Chooch | Tuesday, June 19, 2012 | 9:03 pm | 16 Comments
Tagged: , ,
Posted in: Glass House, Recaps

Irish Mike gave another horseshit tale about playing hockey as a kid and ‘checking’ a player and then having his first fight on the ice. In the locker-room afterwards, while celebrating with his team, the coach from the other team comes in to reprimand him for fighting with a deaf player. From then on, he was known as the guy who beat up the deaf kid. See what I mean, total fairytale and it had nothing to do with his birthday. I hope the others wear boots around him.

Andrea said that her birthday was the best and the worst at the same time last year. She got to go sky diving. It was the BEST because she got to actually jump out of an airplane and see the world from so high up and parachute down to the ground. It was the WORST because she was strapped to a PORN STAR as her jump buddy. LOL!! Erica claims that she had the worst birthday of all of them. Last year, she flew all the way home, set up this big party to have when she got there, only to have a close friend of the family die the night before. There was nobody at her party. Poor baby. I bet she still wonders where her gifts are.Time for viewers to vote on the ugliest best  birthday cake. They all have names. There’s Mardi Gras Mania, Chocolate Clouds, Limbo Bimbo and Cake is PI. As you can see, Cake is PI won the viewer’s vote. I would have taken pictures of all of the cakes, but I dozed off. This has been the longest 3 1/2 hrs of my life and it’s only 1:30am. The west coast hasn’t even joined us yet. KILL ME NOW! I can’t believe we don’t vote on them going to the bathroom, but I haven’t seen anyone go to the bathroom. If they do, the cameras don’t follow them. What kind of crap is that? Someone wants to sing “Happy Birthday”. ORI immediately steps in to tell them they can not!

At one point, Stephanie faces the camera and makes a plea to the viewers to vote out Alex. She tells us that he is such an idiot, mean-spirited and just rude to everyone. If it’s his strategy, it’s not working and he needs to go. They all want Jacob to come back in the house and she pleads with us to vote to keep Jacob in the house. They all chant “Bring Back Jacob”. It is apparent that they don’t know that Jacob quit. I also noticed that nobody swears in this house.  Not one single f-bomb.

ORI actually leaves them alone for awhile, but they are so trained to entertain us that they pick up a ball and start playing volleyball. I noticed that there aren’t many cleaners in the house. Apollo and Robin do most of it. They were cleaning the kitchen quite a bit. Apollo attempted to clean up the peanut-packing on the floor a few times. The others just watched him.

The sound of glass breaking in The Glass House is sure to attract attention. The volleyball hit this bowl of balls, shattering a few of them. ORI commented: “please stop breaking my balls!” which sent the drunks into hysterics. Apollo came to the rescue with his little broom and dustpan. Erica gave him her “Heloise” tip of the day. She told him to pick up all the small shards on the carpet with a slice of bread.

“Clean-up in aisle 3…. Apollo, clean-up in aisle 3!”

Finally it’s 2am. I’m just as happy as Erica. She’s been hugging people for awhile now. That beer is kicking in! She’s loving up on everyone. She loves Jeffrey. She loves Hollywood. She loves Kevin. She loves Ashley. She loves Stephanie. She loves Rob…. oh no… she doesn’t love Robin… Oh damn ORI’s calling! She wants the viewers to hear more about the contestants. She also wants them to welcome the West coast viewers. She gives them a little run down of what has been going on, like it’s Ashley’s birthday and all that shit. The stuff I’ve had to sit through for the past 3 HOURS! I wish I lived on the West coast.

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About

I'm a retired barwhore, who owned a drinking establishment for 20+ years. I've seen it all & done alot of it myself. I AM TV Patrol! I keep you all informed on new shows, specials, cancellations & the Nielson Ratings. I also contribute to "About Last Night". Award shows & the red carpet fashions in "Fashiongasm" are also on my agenda. I'm an expert in television viewing & I'm not afraid to voice my opinion about what sucks or doesn't suck on TV. Oh... and I'm always right.

16 Comments

  1. 1
    ThereBeNoShelterHere
    Posted June 19, 2012 at 11:36 pm

    Ethiopian food rules.

  2. 2
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted June 19, 2012 at 11:53 pm

    Picking up tiny shards of glass with a slice of bread? Genius. I’m squirreling that away for future reference..

  3. 3
    itchy itchy
    Posted June 20, 2012 at 12:03 am

    I feel for you Chooch, I really do. This show sounds so fucking lame, just a ripoff of the Big Brother format with just enough lame twists to make Big Brother sound like Masterpiece Theater. The whole “America gets to choose” angle is just plain stupid.

    For a good laugh, that asshat Alex’s intro/bio video is on youtube. What a douchebag. No. He’s the fluid that comes out after the douche. What’s that stuff called? It’s not santorum, but surely it has a name – palin?

    Oh, and I love Ethopian food. Especially because everyone eats with their hands. Hmm….come to think of it, I haven’t made any Ethopian food for a while now… mmmm…..

  4. 4
    Cherie Cherie
    Posted June 20, 2012 at 1:42 am

    You deserve a medal. A BIG ASS MEDAL. I missed the show, I think my DemonVR just refused to tape it. It makes those last couple of days in BB look down right ENJOYABLE. You know, when there’s only like 3 people left and they give them finger paints? I’d rather watch THAT any day!
    But I love you!!!

  5. 5
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted June 20, 2012 at 2:00 am

    I agree. Too much ‘audience participation.’ I understanding voting on the players in ‘limbo’, but voting on which cake you like best? Lame.

    @itchy: LOL @ “the fluid after douche.” I say, Alex is the fluid before the douche. Spooge. Just waiting to get flushed out.

  6. 6
    Pikey
    Posted June 20, 2012 at 5:42 am

    Know what I love about this show? Having Cooch recap and the awesome comments that follow! It makes me anxious for the Big Brother coverage on TVGasm (and the forums, of course)! Hope we get the forums in time cause BB won’t be the same without them…

  7. 7
    snowshoecat snowshoecat
    Posted June 20, 2012 at 7:38 am

    Chooch, what a sacrifice. Tell Flipit you deserve a raise for spending all that time watching this…this…this.

    Irish Mike hit a brain button. He reminded me of somebody, and that bothered me until I realized that he reminds me of the grandfather/douche on RPDR this past season. His name was Mike and he seems to be a fame whore, having been on another “reality” show. Can’t remember the name of the epi since we can no longer access old recaps (ahem, Flip). Does anybody recognize him?

  8. 8
    chaosbutterfly
    Posted June 20, 2012 at 8:18 am

    @SSC, it’s sadly not the same Mike. RPDR Mike was fatter and his face was better looking. They are similar though….couple of attention heauxs.

  9. 9
    HandyManda
    Posted June 20, 2012 at 10:57 am

    This show just makes me all the more ready for BB.

    Alex looks like he should be lunching in a country club somewhere, not douching up my tv. He can go. Like someone said in the minicap…he’s not a villian! He’s just irritating and mean.

  10. 10
    Miss Molly
    Posted June 20, 2012 at 10:59 am

    I did watch yesterdays webcast – they spelled words and discussed “stay at home dads”.
    Luckily I didn’t have a razor blade or I would have cut myself.
    I hate Alex but now I am hoping he does come back just so I am not tempted to watch it again.

  11. 11
    LOSTbean LOSTbean
    Posted June 20, 2012 at 2:03 pm

    Betchya Alex comes back in…he’s like the Colton from Survivor.

  12. 12
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted June 20, 2012 at 2:23 pm

    No, Colton strategized and made alliances of teammates. Alex has no alliances in that house nor will he make any. He also lacks an immunity idol, lol.

  13. 13
    chooch850
    Posted June 20, 2012 at 4:38 pm

    No one in the house seems to want Alex back, that’s for sure. His only friend was Jacob. From what I’ve read on-line, no one is voting him back into the house either.

    Can I say this…. I’m just SO happy to see all of my Big Brother friends posting. It’s been so long since we’ve been together. I feel like we’re having a BB reunion. The media is going to be allowed into the new BB14 house on Friday (June 22nd) so they can “play the game” for a day. This means right after that, there will be a flood of pictures and info of what the new decor looks like. I will get this info to you as fast as I can.

  14. 14
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted June 20, 2012 at 4:59 pm

    Thanks, Chooch!! I’m looking forward to it. And if the forums aren’t up, we’ll still come out and hang on the main site. We’ll just keep the feed spoilers out of the first two sentences of our posts (as that appears on the front page) but we shouldn’t let it deter us. Who knows? it may even attract a bigger party of people who never thought to check the forums for cool happenings. All-in-all, I’m looking forward to BB even though watching/reading the feeds always makes me peckish. It’s something about watching people crunch, munch, and whisper that makes me grab the snacks! Weird, i know.. *hangs head*

  15. 15
    itchy itchy
    Posted June 21, 2012 at 3:07 am

    Hmm… who wants to bet CBS opened up their wallet for a few last-minute upgrades to the BB house?

  16. 16
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted June 21, 2012 at 10:07 pm

    @itchy, did you see CBS’ passive aggressive press release? They said they are developing a new show called Dancing ON the Stars as well as a new sitcom called Postmodern Family. Lol! They are bitter… No need, BB has the proven fan base, why feel threatened? ABC doesn’t have the Chenbot!

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