Whoops. This one’s a bit late, guys. Sorry bout that… I’ve been crazy busy with a new job and Thanksgiving family plan stuff. (In fact, I’m on a plane right now flying home Seattle. This is weird watching Glee and writing on the plane. I get the feeling that this lady next to me is reading what I’m writing…) Anyway, I wanted to give our voices time to heal now that we’re finished raving (or yelling) about Gwyneth Paltrow’s appearance last week,. I’m looking forward to a nice plain old episode of Glee sans guest stars and/or artist themes.
“So here’s what happened on this week’s Glee”-
Kurt is walking down the halls of McKinely, sandwiched between his dad, and Finn’s mom, all of em’ with big smiles on their faces. They surprise Finn with wedding news. Kurt’s makes himself the wedding planner and Nude Erections will be their official entertainment… Wow, that’s uhhh, classy? I’m not sure having my kid’s high school choir sing at my wedding would ever be an option. Not even if was the actual cast of Glee… Probably. Okay. Fine. I wouldn’t MIND that… Although I do kind of love the notion of having a professional choir at a wedding. The choir singing “Everybody’s Free” during the church scene in the mid 90s version of Romeo and Juliet‘ was absolutely beautiful to me. I’ve wanted one at mine ever since, although a choir does seem a bit grandiose.
Someone else is getting married. Guess who. It’s Sue Sylvester? Oh, but, it’s to herself. Wa wa wa waaaaaa. Kinda weird. Seems a bit absurd even for this show. I bet the Conservative Republicans won’t let it happen anyway.
Finn and New Guy Sam are acting like frenemies in the locker room. NGS tells Finn he wants to be popular and minutes later he’s proposing to propose to Quinn in the science room. Quinn gives him a maybe… Promise rings, to me, are the cowardly version of making a commitment to someone. It’s like making a commitment without actually having to make a commitment. Is this suppose to make us question NGS’s intentions? He seemed genuine though. I bet he’s been hiding the ring box in his mouth for days.
At the lockers, Kurt talks Finn into dancing with his mom in front of everyone at the wedding and Finn agrees thinking it will make him look cool. Finn walks away excited about the idea and Karofsky sneaks up on Kurt for another intense bullying episode. This one was extra creepy. Gave me the willies. Shue notices Kurt standing in shock afterwards and they go see Principle SYLVESTER for help. Sue seems genuinely sorry that she can’t do anything about the situation for the poor lil’ “lady.”
In the band room, Rachel brings the ladies of Nude Erections together to do something about the Kurt/Karofsky situation. They decide to have their boyfriends have a “talk” with Karofsky. Tina seems a bit put off that Brittany and Artie are officially dating. Quinn seems intent on pointing out that her and NGS are NOT officially dating. Santana shows up annoyed that she wasn’t invited, and all this is discussed while the slit in Quinn’s skirt is perfectly placed on the upper area of her thigh and uhh, uuuuuuuh, what was I talking about?
Very lady like, Britt…
Sue is firing a lady named Marsha Dean as her wedding planner cause the wedding planner, whom I last saw as the President in Battle Star Galactica, and before that as “Stands With A Fist” on Dance With Wolves, is confused about the whole Sue marrying herself thing. I love Mary McDonnell. I just wonder why she would take such a small part. Maybe it’s not her… Anyway, Chief Wedding Deer is leaving Sue’s office and crosses paths with Sue’s mom who’s played by, holy smokes! Carol Burnett! Holy crap, I hate to say it, but boy oh boy does she look old. Justifibly so, she’s what in her late 70s? But MAN that woman was brilliant in her time. Brilliant, I say… Sue wants to know what the visit is about from one of television’s living icons and she tells Sue she’s finally caught the last Nazi. Who was living in Phoenix, Arizona, of course. (Can someone please tell me why in god’s name would you ever live in that state?) Sue’s mom also invites herself to Sue’s wedding and says she’s going to sing for her…
Rachel is super let down by Finn cause he refuses to stand up to Karofsky on Kurt’s behalf. Meanwhile, in the locker room, Artie and Mike are telling Karofsky to stop picking on Kurt and Karofsky shoves Mike into Artie and they topple over. NGS sees the whole thing and goes fist to cuffs with the big closeted lug. They throw each other around a bit and the Beiste breaks it up, but not before NGS gets a black eye. In glee, all the ladies are proud of their dudes, except for Rachel cause Finn MIA. I’m not sure what they’re doing with Finn’s character this season. He’s not at all the same guy they painted him to be in the first. But, I suppose everyone is allowed to stray from themselves every now and then, especially for the purposes of plot line.
In the auditorium, Sue’s mom arranges for some time to practice the song she’s going to sing at Sue’s wedding. The Nazi slaying motha sings a 1953 Broadway musical Wonderful Town’s “Ohio.” Pretty cute but very presentational. I know Glee is theatrical at it’s core but Carol Burnett might has well been winking at the camera. Sue singing the lower part of the harmony was my favorite part.
Okay, WHY is Kurt’s dad is in the band room with Kurt and Finn? Kurt is helping his dad to rehearse for his big dance at the wedding, but why can’t they do that in the comfort of their own home? At one point, Kurt is also giving dance instruction to Finn. Karofsky walks by, sees what’s goin’ on, and gives the limp hand gesture to Finn. Kurt’s dad sees thaaat and wants to know what’s going on. Kurt lets the beans outta the closet and Burt attacks Karofsky in the halls. He also calls Finn out on not protecting his soon to be step-brother.
If this happened in real life ol’ Burt Hummel would get in biiig trouble.
The Hummels and the Karofskys are having a conference in Principal Sue’s office to address the threat. Karfosky’s dad is waaaaay too rational for a parent and sides with the Hummels. Sue has him expelled, and then, for some strange reason, tells Burt to enjoy his wedding. I’m not sure why they decided to put Sue in this position other than to expose her humanity and soft side. But we’ve already seen that so now this just feels weird…. While I’m on the subject, what is going ON with this episode? A bit of a snore-fest so far.
Finn is getting ready for the wedding when Santana suggests he should tell everyone they slept together so he can seem cooler. He FINALLY starts to man up and gives her the no way Jose. Rachel walks in right as Santana is threatening to tell Rachel herself. Rachel wants to know what Finn and Santana were talking about and Finn tells her it was nothin’ and that he really loves her. Which he does. Which I like.
I thought I was suddenly watching that popular horrible viral YouTube vid where the entire wedding party couples off and dances down the aisle, but then I realized it was just Glee. The whole glang marches down the aisle and sings Bruno Mars’ “Marry You.” Even though I’ve been a little bit tiny annoyed at this episode, and Artie wheeled down the aisle with streamers,
oh, and the wedding vows from both the bride and groom had more to do with their children and former partners than each other, I STILL cried. Kuh-rist, I’m weak!
For the bride and groom’s first dance, Goody Two Shues performs “Sway.” I LOVED the standards hat on Shue, and I think it fits em’ swell. Just swell. What a drooly crooner! A bit of a ducky shincracker, too. If he ever tries to make a record I would suggest he go this route, guys and dolls. Mr Morrison could make a heck of a lotta money causin’ a room full of ol’ dames to feel khaki wacky. Doesn’t quite have the silk that you get out of a Micheal Buble, for instance, but still pretty darn smooth.
Shue finishes melting old lady hearts and calls Finn up to give a speech. He thanks his mom, and now I’m really losing it cause Finn apologizes for not having Kurt’s back and performs another Bruno Mars song, “Just the Way You Are” in Kurt’s honor. They even dance together. This is embarrassing cause I’m clearly crying at what I’m watching on my laptop, of course, right when the stewardess asks if I need anything to drink. “Yes, please, and make it a double.”
REAL men ballroom dance. Together. And I’m not trying to be funny. I mean it.
I also like how shocked the new Mrs. Hummel pretended to look when Kurt and Finn asked them to join in the dance.
Sue’s wedding ceremony wasn’t quite as much of a tear jerker. It waaas kinda funny, but still really weird. I suppose it makes sense for her character, but, eesh, it’s just such a stretch, even for Sue. Sue’s mom calls her out on how strange the whole thing is and Sue kicks her out. I guess this is supposed to be Sue finally standing up to her bullying mother. She expels her mother just like she expelled Karofsky. Interesting (not really) parallel.
At the lockers, NGS is assessing the damage to his pretty face when Quinn drops by to give him something to help the bruises heal. She tells him how impressed she was with the way he handled the Kurt situation and points out that she’s wearing his ring… And now they’re they are officially promised to promise each other. First PuckelBerry, then Finchel, then Furt and now, ladies and gentlemen, meet Suinn. They’ll be out with their own line of bicycle’s soon. Don’t like Swinn?What about New Guy Quinn?
Back in Principal Sue’s office, the newly weds and Kurt are being told that since there were no witnesses who saw Karfosky being violent with Kurt, he’ll be back in attendance at McKinely the following day. Sue is so upset at the Board’s decision she resigns as principal. Thank god… In glee, Kurt thanks the glang for making his parent’s wedding so special and drops the “but I’m transferring to Dalton Academy bomb.” Of course, everyone is super bummed and they offer to put Kurt in the Nude Erections protection program. Still, Kurt refuses for his own safety, and once Mercedes starts to plead in protest, he walks out the band room in tears.
Well, my gleeloveds, I gotta say that other than the wedding scenes, ol’ Birschy was not THAT into this episode. Maybe that’s because I really wasn’t into any of the tunes in this go round. But I guess most of the numbers WERE in the wedding scenes so maybe it just didn’t feel substantial enough. I don’t know, you guys. But I do know that the lady’s baby next to me needs a diaper change. At this point, I hope she IS reading over my shoulder…
Thanks for sticking with me, honeys.
Talk at you next week.
yours and everyone else’s,
Glines O’ the Week
“That’s why we feed them glitter, Finn” Kurt answering Finn’s “Won’t releasing 300 birds in doors get kinda messy?”
“By the power vested in me by a website, I now pronounce you Sue and Sue. You may kiss yourself.” Sue