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Friday, October 1, 2010
12:00 pm
34 Comments
Tagged: birschtalk, britney spears, funny, Glee, heather morris, hilarious, jane lynch, lea michelle, matthew morrison, rachel berry, recaps, TV, tvgasm
Oh, wow. We’re off to a good start, my gleeloveds. Ol’ Goody Two Shues is writing “Christopher Cross” up on the whiteboard in the band room and he starts to wax poetic about easy listening music. Kurt interjects though with some sort of facebook petition to have Nude Erections perform a Britney Spears song at the fall homecoming assembly. Shue’s thinks Spears is a little to risque and everybody’s fav cheerio is with Shue. Britney S. Pierce, refuses to sing a Britney Spears song because their names are so similar. Does anyone else LOVE that they named her Brittany S. Pierce? You can’t see me but I’m holding my hand up.
Shue consults with Emma Pillsbury about Britney Spears as she stocks pamphlets about pubes and wiping and stuff.
Just one!
The pair chat about Emma’s new boyfriend who is helping her with her control issues. Shue is super jealous, of course… Have muurrrrcy! Emma’s steamy dentist man-friend, Carl is played by John Stamos! And guess who pays a surprise visit for lunch? You got it, dude. Dr. Carl. Shue offers Carl a chance to chat with glee about dental hygiene… I feel SO horrible for Jayma Mays having to make out with Matthew Morrison AND John Stamos. Poor thing. Maneuvering her tongue around so many dimples must be exhausting.
At the lockers, the football bully couple takes Finn’s letterman jacket and rips it in half. How symbolic… Finn takes a swing at of ‘em, but Artie rolls right into the middle and apologizes to Finn. The Beiste sees the whole thing…
A quick “Oops! I Did It Again” transitional, “duuuuh, nuh nuh,” moves us into the band room where the girls of glee are drooling over Dr. Carl. And they’re not even in the dentist chair, yet! HEY-OH! Santana’s “You can totally drill me whenever” was just so adorable in a smutty kinda way.
Brittany’s teeth were stained blue during Dr. Carl’s visit to glee so she pays a visit to Dr. Carl’s office, who tells her she has the worst teeth he’s ever seen. He puts her under while Britney Spears plays in the background, which brings us into a mother frickeen AWESOME “Slave For You” dream sequence. Brittany singing Britney is absolutely perfect. PERFECT, I tell you! The reality is they’re both dancers, not singers. One does not have to know how to sing if one sings a Britney Spears song, so I thought this worked beautifully. Actually, cheerio Brittany danced the crap out of this number, and dare I say, better than Spears herself. In fact, I DO say that cheerio Brittany is a FAR better dancer than Spears… And uhh, sorry, glays and glals, I know I promised you as many topless dude shots as possible but I just have to include a screenshot of each of these super hot Britney/Brittany outfits for me and all my Rock Jocks. (Strait dudes who like Glee.)
Okay, not so much this last one…
Speaking of Rock Jocks, Finn and Rachel are walking through the halls and Finn tells Rachel he misses being on the football team. To Finn’s disappointment, Rachel doesn’t seem very sympathetic. When the situation is reversed, Finn doesn’t defend Rachel when Santana and Britney make fun of Rachel… Trouble in Almost Paradise!
Round two of a Britney/Brittany anestia induced dream sequence. This time Santana joins in for a Madonna/Spears “Me Against the Music” duet… Once again, a perfect mesh. Santana as Madonna worked quite nicely since they both can actually sing. And with all the sappho innuendo happenin’, Professor BirschTalk gives this one an “A–”…
Oh.
It did however get points deducted for the weird haggard weave wearin’ Spears cameo at the end. Even if they HAD shared a little kiss like in the original, I would have preferred Santana to ol’ used up Spears.
In glee, Kurt’s voice gets even more shrill than usual and he goes off at Shue for not submitting to the Spears Facebook request. He was being super ballsy. Then he stood up and we could only just see his ballsies.
At Dr. Carl’s office, he and Shue agree to disagree that they both love Emma. Carl tells Shue that maybe Emma would have chosen him instead if he would only just loosen up. Carl prescribes old people candy to unwind Shue a bit… As Shue leaves he gives one of his candies to Rachel. DING DING! Round THREE of a Spears dream sequence. THIS time it’s “Baby One More Time.” These are starting to get real repetitive, and I hate to say it, but it just seems like lazy writing. Plus, seeing Rachel in belly shirts made me feel weird inside. And while I’m hating to say things, I might as well say round three goes to Spears. Although Rachel can sing far better, and even though she is technically the most innocent character on the show, I would still rather watch the original. Maybe if she did more of a sexy gross baby voice it would have been more believable…
Rachel steals the clothing from her dream sequence and parades around the halls of McKinley. Finn tries to cover her up and she tells him they shouldn’t try to control each other. She even encourages him to try and get back onto the football team.. Or at least that what I think happened cause I was watching Brittany pat Jew Fro guy’s Jew Fro the whole time.
Shue’s ex-wife, Terry, busts his chops for buying a Corvette while he happens to be showing it off to Emma. In glee, Shue gets even more flack cause everyone is digging Rachel Spears. In fact, everyone is digging Rachel Spears a little too much. Sue busted the Jew Fro guy wankin’ off in the library. I never wanna see that again for as long as live.
Oh, jeez, here we go, round FOUR of a gas induced Spears dream sequence, this time starring Artie. He visioned he was pumping iron and playing on the football team to the tune of “Stronger.” Like Rachel’s dream, this one sounded good, but that’s about it. And I don’t think they could have managed to make men in football uniforms look any more sissified. It did however give Artie the courage to ask Coach Beiste one more time to be on the football team, to which she submitted. Finn is back on the team, too.
Duh nuh nuh.
Nooo! Rachel, what are you doing? Don’t make Finn choose between football and you, stupid. Also, there’s not really THAT much of a difference in clothing choice between Rachel Spears and Rachel Berry other than the addition of a belly button. Well, that and a lot more class.
At the homecoming assembly, Emma tells Shue he looks like a kid from Kids, Incorporated. (K-I-D-S, yeah!) and the glee club performs “Toxic.” This apparently gets the entire school all randy. I got a little randy myself, but only for the harmonies. Okay, a little for Brittany, but seriously, I loved the harmony between Rachel and Brittany. This is one of those covers that can compete with the original. I loved that they put their own spin on it, dog… By the end of the number the Jew Fro guy is in such a frenzy that he accidentally pinches a little man tush. The long haired dude knocked him out. Seeing this, Sue pulled a fire alarm and everyone ran out of the gym. Or maybe the actual Britney Spears showed up and her weave was just too stanky.
Sue fakes an injury and tells Shue she’s gonna sue the shit outta him in the teacher’s lounge. Wait, say that fast three times- “Sue’s gonna sue the shit outta Shue.” Do it. Bet you can’t… Oh and here’s where we get our “the more you know” monologue. Emma compares Shue to Spears and tells him she only ever wanted him to relax, not stop being himself. But I can’t get passed all the Spears butt kissing this entire ep and especially during this monologue. I know that they have to do a little brown nosing so that they can have access to them and their catalogues but this one seems SO forced. Maybe it’s cause I’m not a Spears fan. Forgive me if you are, I’ve been a bit harsh towards her. I don’t mean to say that her music isn’t well produced. But I just can’t get pass the baby voice. Has anyone ever seen that youtube clip where they record her mic? She’s lip-syncing of course but still singing and it sounds like a dying baby.
http://www.viralthis.com/278/britney-spears-live-microphone.html
At the lockers, Rachel sets up a trap and has Quinn try and get back together with Finn. But he doesn’t fall for it. Kudos to Finn for resisting that cheerio Finny goodness.
In glee, Emperor Kurt Palpatine is upset they only did one Britney number.
“Join me and Spears on the dark side.”
Rachel dedicates a modern adult contemporary ” You Are the Only Exception” by Paramore, to Finn. Lea Michelle is so frickeen good at the on the verge of tears while singing thing. So good. That’s when she shines. A sweet little ending. Birschy liked it, even though it was sprinkled with Shue feeling sorry for himself.
Well, my gleeloveds. I wasn’t too impressed with this ep, but I’m not too into Britney Spears, either. Although it did have a few numbers that really worked well. And may the gods of Hollywood bless you, Heather Morris . You are one of the very reasons I adore this show as much as I do.
Thanks for sticking with me, lovelies.
Talk at you next week.
yours and everyone else’s,
BirschTalk
GLINES O’ THE WEEK
“This room looks like the one on that spaceship where I got probed.” Brittany in a dentist chair
“Please don’t pull all my teeth. When I smile I’ll look like an adult baby but with boobs.” Brittany
“It looks like a Jewish cloud.” Brittany feeling Jew Fro guys Jew fro…
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34 Comments
Loved Brittany’s line about rinsing out her mouth with Dr. Pepper, “I though he was a real doctor.” LOL
Heather Morris was great in this episode and her body is absolutely A-mazing!
Thanks for a great recap!
I really enjoyed this episode, mostly because of the dancing. As a former dancer, watching somebody dance so well makes me miss it so badly and I was dancing right along with Heather, haha. Heather Morris was HOT. Such a girl crush on her.
I am so hoping Brittany sings a Ke$ha song next week like she said she would. This episode was great because it gave Brittany’s character a chance to shine. When she started with I’m taking all the solos because I’m way more talented than all of you and the “its britney bitch” in her perfect delivery.
She definitely is a better dancer than Spears.
I have noticed that this season, Rachel holds her mouth a lot differently. Her mouth now looks exactly like Idina Menzel. I can’t listen to her because I am staring at her mouth. Your spot on with your analysis of her take on Hit Me Baby. While she has a great voice, I’m not expecting her to become a cross over pop sensation. She has 0% sex appeal. Although I wouldn’t be surprised if she becomes an adult contemporary artist.
I thought this was probably one of the worst episodes. I understand wanting to use Spears’ music, but it was so lazy. Just a bunch of dream sequences and then a gleek talking about how Britney showed them the way. Like she’s a shaman. And the real Spears showing up was kind of sad. She’s not even 30 yet, so why does she look like a truck stop waitress?
But I will say that despite all it’s problems the Britney/Santana duet was fantastic. The two actresses have a great rapport to begin with and they just performed the hell out of the song. Even the editors did a good job. I’m glad the whole baby story is over so that Puck will take a back seat and Santana/Britney can be the main C-story at this point.
I’ve only watched handful of Glee episodes (I always forget its on and I’m usually catching up on other shows so I forget) but I actually watched this one on-line because I love Britney. Can Lea Michelle dance? I really felt like they were trying to cover up the fact that she might not have a lot of rhythm or something because all I saw were simpler dance moves from her. I don’t know but maybe somoene else can tell me..
awww, you forgot the very first Brittany line. Mr Shue asks who Christopher Cross is, and she says “He discovered America”. bwaahaahaa
I agree, Brittany was AWESOME, but the whole affair was very uninspired, and jumpy. What I hated was the kid jerkin’, then getting caught, then being naked in her office, then that horrid, horrid close up of the chair, and then him screaming oh yeah at the end . . . no, it’s OH NO!!! Really bottom of the barrel so unfunny! I miss Kurt’s dad!
I have come to the conclusion that hands down Brittany is one of the best characters on television. The lines they gave her to say were just hilarious. And not for nothing her body is just unreal and she can dance like a mofo. Her first dream sequence video with the snake dancing was awesome. But yes this episode seemed very thrown together, just a way to string some Britney songs together. Kind of like a Glee/Spears version of “Mama Mia”. I mean, having a dentist come lecture the Glee club? How random was that? And Chevy must be putting major $ into this show for product placement. The Vettes here, and I remember when Rachel did the cheesefest “Run Joey Run” video it had a new Camaro all over it.
I also thought Rachel doing two songs (again!) was too many . . . this should have been a “cast” epi, spreading the love among the various talents. Artie’s okay, but ask me how much I’d rather see Brit and Santana rip up more, or Mercedes and Kurt. For once, I also thought Rachel’s cry sing was overwrought and too heavy handed for the situation–she’s becoming very unlikable, making it worse.
It must be a huge pain to reshoot those video’s shot for shot–would it really have taken more time for them to actually come up with a concept for the epi instead. and if Miss Spears herself is coming on set to be in a scene–why not add it to the show, instead of some throw away cameo. A mere blink or drink refill and that would have been entirely missed.
Thanks for the recap, birsch!!!
Heather Morris was a backup dancer for Beyonce. I liked this episode. It was cheesy, just like the real Britney Spears.
Next week looks good, what is going on with Kurt’s dad?
Did anyone but me notice Mark from So You Think You Can Dance was one of Brittany’s back-up dancers? Totally awesome. I liked the dance routines in this episode but not really the music (BS is not a fave of mine). But Heather Morris deserves an Emmy. She steals every scene she’s in and can deliver stupidity like no one else.
This just in: Heather Morris is smokin’. Loved when she demanded all of the solos in Nude Erections from now on. “It’s Brittany…bitch.”
@HandyManda – They’d better not be killing off Kurt’s dad. Looks like a major tear jerker-type episode is in the offing for next week.
@Martha – I noticed. I actually did a quick scan after that for more SYTYCD alumni, but only a couple of other faces looked vaguely familiar.
If they’d had Rachel perform “Sometimes,” it would have been better. “Baby… One More Time” was just too much for her.
It’s clear to me now that Lea Michelle did a really great job last year making Rachel likable – maybe she deserved that Emmy nom. She’s fallen off that fine line, though I think the writers are partially to blame. Also… I hate to say it, but after her weight loss, she looks simultaneously more childlike and yet way too old to be a HS student, therefore managing to come off as both bratty and harpish. Not a fan of the new Rachel! I did love her rendition of the Paramore song. It should have been her only solo, I agree, and it does feel like the 100th time we’ve seen her cry/sing. Also, it’s pretty weird that she would sing like that in front of the whole class. Wouldn’t it be better if she’d just sung it to Finn?
Is there a Glee drinking game yet?
Heather Morris has great comedic timing and the editors know how to cut her lines in just right. For instance, last week when Santana and Quinn were fighting in the hall, she airheadedly deadpanned, “Stop the violence…” Best delivery of the episode!
Yay, Birschy!!! I’ve been waiting for your recap! I realized after watching this episode that it’s not that I dislike her songs so much, I just dislike her. I much preferred the Glee versions (with the exception of Baby, One More Time. Still hated that one) of all the songs. So, I can only deduce that it’s the singer and not the song normally.
@Martha: Glad to know I wasn’t the only one to notice Mark from SYTYCD in the background. LOVE him!
Now they just need to bring Santana in a bit more and leave the whole Rachel/Finn thing in the background for a bit. And I LOVE the addition of John Stamos. Hopefully they’ll have him sing some, too!
Brittany is great. She came in to teach the cast the Single Ladies routine and, without any prior acting experience, they decided to add her character. Her timing and lines are the best. Oh, and that body is ridiculous! “It’s Brittany… Bitch.” Indeed.
My favorite Bittany line: “are you a cat?” to Dr. Carl.
Couldn’t stand this ep.–however, I don’t like Britney. Heather Morris was absolutely amazing– as many noted, she’s a better dancer than Britney.
Please tell me that the link to Britney really singing was a joke.
It is soooo refreshing to read a review that isn’t kissing Spear’s ass. Great review, all hail HeMo, and Brittany>Britney. This season’s motto needs to be “It’s Brittany. Bitch” AND FOR THE LOVE OF GOD LESS RACHEL.
There are people who think Spears is anything other than a fabrication of a recording artist? Hasn’t she always been a 21st century Herman’s Hermits? It’s not like they did a Bjork or PJ Harvey or Lucinda Williams episode, it was Britney.
This isn’t to say that “her” music wasn’t well-produced or catchy or entertaining, it was just commercial pop that was more the work of that Swedish guy who produced her than anything she created.
In retrospect, she was actually a real life Johnny Bravo. She fit the costumes so she became a star.
The sad thing is Britney Spears USED to be able to sing pretty well, but through the years she’s effed up her voice way too much. She probably doesn’t even remember *how* to really sing.
I loved all the songs but the ep. did seem really forced and disjointed. Hate Rachel so much. I don’t think she’s a very good singer, and the character grates so much. Dumb Finn is perfect for her.
Great cap, Birsh!
For some reason, my DVR didn’t record this episode, even though I have a season pass for it. I’ve seen videos of some of the songs, but I haven’t watched the whole episode yet, so forgive me for my unifomred question, but…Why the heck were they saying that Shue is too uptight? I don’t recall his character being super uptight, in fact, just the opposite. What did I miss?
Oh, the Britney Spears link is scary! So untalented, it’s just amazing that people pay to watch her “sing.”
I also was a bit disappointed after watching this ep. But after thinking about it, maybe the Glee writers/producers got the last laugh. Shue and Rachel’s Britney-inspired transformations backfired and both realized that they were better off being their true selves. Subtle message that Brit is all fluff and no heart?!? Just a thought. Heather Morrison was amazing though and I love that John Stamos is playing Carl. He was on such a cheesy show (great Full House references) but his more recent shenanigans (drunken interview, extortion scheme) show that he’s got a dark side. Classic Ryan Murphy move!
Although Britney sounds HORRIBLE in that leaked recording of her LIVE performance, I’m not entirely convinced she’s that bad of a singer…I mean, yeah, she’s not good, but it’s hard to sing in tune when you’re out of breath…which she was, from all the dancing she was doing. It’s hard enough trying to stay on key even when you’re just standing…only a select few, those who sing from their diaphragm, can control their breathing and still sing well during a dance number. Like Beyonce, for example. But even a clearly more talented performer like her sometimes relies on a track so she don’t ruin the vocals with heavy breathing and wrong notes.
Britney’s mistake was actually singing along with the track, instead of mouthing the words like she should have.
(Did that make any sense at all? Sorry, it’s really early where I am right now and I’m not quite coherent yet)
so she DOESN’T ruin the vocals.
See what I mean? Ugh! I need coffee.
Meant Morris, sorry. And I agree with @melange, Lea looked better before losing weight!
Thanks for reading, marijai. Was wondering if I would hear from you this season.
Chemgal, I couldn’t agree more putting Rachel into the adult contemporary genre!
juddfan, agreed Jew Fro wanking off was not that funny. Not that funny at all. And I’m usually up for low brow stuff… So glad to see you stop by, sweetheart!
melange, I LOVE your conflicting dichotomous Rachel observation. Brilliant!
exene, the link is totally not a joke, to my knowledge. it’s interesting too when you compare another similar type clip out there of Lady GaGa. It’s quite apparent that GaGa can still sing, while dancing AND while wearing a nutso type get up.
oodle, happy to refresh!
thanks, Zbird! Totally with you on Shue being suddenly being so uptight. Felt very out of left field to me, too.
So this is where all the straight guys hang out at Tvgasm, eh?
Well, I didn’t buy the whole Britney-worship angle either (because, let’s face it, it’s the opposite of reality), but since there was oodles of hot-looking women dancing very hotly, I was happy enough to sit back and take it all in.
And yes, Lea Michele managed to be quite, eh-hem, attractive for once. She’s a bit too toned lately, but otherwise.
The only one I missed was the Quinn character…shame they didn’t focus more on her…