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Thursday, November 18, 2010
2:00 pm
25 Comments
Tagged: birschtalk, funny, Glee, gwyneth paltrow, heather morrison, hilarious, jane lynch, lea michelle, matthew morrison, recap, television, TV
Groooooss! A sneeze is the last thing ol’ Birschy wants to see in slo-mo… Quinn walking down the halls? Slo-mo that shit! Brittany’s sweet dance moves? Slo-mo it. But AV nerd Lauren Zizes sneezing on Figgins?! Ew, no, bless you. Now Figgins’ has some weird monkey flu and magically Sue Sylvester has the authority to take over. I’ve got a feeling she’s gonna try her darnedest to take the pal out of Principal… Lauren Zizes sneezed on Shue, too, but at least we didn’t have to see her saliva travel from her mouth to Shue’s pretty face…
In glee, Goody Two Shues has the most adorable fever induced hallucination ever. Seriously it was so frickeen cute. Like the Muppet Baby version of Glee… Shue gets too sick to work so he’s gonna have to call in a muppet baby sitter/sub who hopefully at least we’ll get to see the top half of…. In fact, WHO will that be, I wonder? Hopefully it will be a really well known highly respected actress whom I would have never thought could sing before this and is married to the lead vocalist of Coldplay, and also who I was strangely attracted to in Shakespeare in Love, but we’ll see…
Which one is Brittany and which one is Quinn?
Ew! Double gross! Someone is picking up Shue’s snotty tissues with their bare hands. Has Emma totally gotten over her neurotic stuff? No, darn it, it’s Terry. She’s shown up to take care of Will but he doesn’t want her to. And I don’t blame him, that baby voice is weird. He kicks her out but not before she established that Will’s favorite movie to watch when he’s sick is “Singin’ In the Rain.” Good choice, Shue. Mine? “Teen Witch.” No. I’m not joking, and I AM going to be the most popular girl, so top that.
Kurt and Mercedes are dishin’ up food in the caf and dishin’ out snaps about how glee has run amuck with Rachel at the wheel. Mercedes gives Kurt a hard time for flaking on their plans cause he’s gonna hang out with Blaaaaaaaaine. Oooooooooh! Kisssey kissssey!!! (They haven’t yet, btw. God, I hope they do though. And I hope it’s the healthiest, longest lasting relationship on the show.) Then there’s a weird almost sexual exchange with Mercedes and what I believe to be tater-tots, after which, she and Kurt decide they need a sub to run glee.
A Gwyneth Paltrow voice over tells us a little bit what it’s like to be a substitute teacher, which apparently includes finding alligators in one’s car, but also reveals that she is pretty much the coolest sub in the entire world. She’s like the Mary Poppins of subs. She even sang a school house rock number in English class, yo! WHAAAAT? I think the cast of Glee should do a whole epi of School House Rock for the younger Glee fans. And also for me…
In glee, the glang sets up to mess with a sub but little do they know they’re about to get Holly Holiday-ed. She slides into class and instantly wins over the students talking about medical marijuana and refraining from singing songs from the 80s… Booooo! I LOVE when the glang does 80s songs. Puck wants to sing a Cee-Lo Green song and Santanta wants to know what Ms. Holiday knows about some Cee-Lo. Which brings us to our first number of the epi- “Forget You.” I was so jealous, you guys! I wanna sing “Forget You” with Gwyneth Paltrow! No fair! And hey, she didn’t sound half bad! The dancing was a little stiff but nothing horribly awkward. Except what was with the gang signs she kept throwin’ up?
Stage right, ese!
Also, if she were REALLY cool she’d sing the original version of “Forget You,” just sayin’…
Sue’s looking for trouble and when trying to disband the football team doesn’t work she sees a bunch of fatties in the hallway and decides to ban tater-tots instead. NOW I see why the tater-tots and Mercedes exchanged “do me” faces…
This must be a dream sequence because Mike Chang is telling Shue how much they need him for Sectionals. Oh, it IS cause now they’re performing “Make Them Laugh,” inspired by the original dance number in Singin’ In the Rain. Wasn’t EXACTLY the same but pretty darn close. “A” for effort. All though I have to say this version has about a third of the charisma that Donald O’Conner’s had, and there wasn’t TWO of him.
Shue wakes up from his dream cause Rachel wants to tell him about Holly Holiday and how she’s a threat to his position. The “cut to” where Sue and Holiday watch Animal Hoarders and drink red wine while highlighting their hair was GOLD… Now that’s a night out ol’ Birschy can appreciate.
Mercedes is about to rip someone’s head off cause Kurt just flaked on her again AND “Principal Sue” banned tater-tots. She declares war on Sue who refers to her as JacQUE… WOW that’s funny. Racist and funny.
In the halls, Rachel informs Holiday she’s going to report her to the school nurse for a bruise on her bum and by the end of their conversation Rachel has agreed to do a song with Ms. Holiday instead. A song that Rachel has always wanted to do. One that Shue would never let her do in the first place. Looks like it’s a jolly holiday with Holiday. She’s even gets Rachel to loosen up. Settle down, Finn!
Terry is spoon feeding soup to Shue as they casually chat about the medication she’s on to make her less crazy. Ruh roh. Bow chicka bow booooow. Terry breaks out the Vicks Vapor Rub and rubs it onto his shoulders. Which is weird cause you’re supposed to rub it on your chest. And come to think of it it woulda been wonderfully awkward to watch Terry do that but I suppose that was a little too risque. Just risque enough though cause then they totally ended up DOING IT.
At lunch, Mercedes is ranting about the healthy baby food that Sue Sylvester is having them eat and Kurt tries to console her by setting her up with a really hot black guy. She’s taken though. Her and the tots are goin’ steady so she opts for those instead the really hot black guy. She even makes a sign that says “TOTS.” Before you know it the whole cafeteria is angrily chanting “tots.” Sue and Becky stand in the middle of it all assessing the war they’re about to fight… I’ve never seen anyone take tater-tots so seriously. Unless it’s me, and I’m having fish sticks.
In the auditorium, Rachel and Holiday perform Chicago’s “Nowadays” for the glang. Again, the dancing was a little stiff on Gwyn’s behalf but nooooot bad! Boy she’s a tall drink a water! I’m surprised she even manages to walk, let alone dance.
Shue goes back to school before he’s well enough but only to get even more sick in a different kinda way. Figgins has been fired. The board thinks Sue is doing such a good job as principal feeding foam to the students. Her first official act? Firing Shue, of course. She even had a classic Will Shuester hair jab to boot. Ahhh, now that’s the Sue I love.
Mercedes is bored out her mind with Blaine and Kurt at Breadstix, and the only time she opens her eyes is to order tater-tots. Oh, and the little purse falling out of Kurt’s mouth during Mercedes boredom induced hallucination? Awesome.
“How’s he gonna fit his tampons in THERE?”
Shue pays a visit to Holiday in the band room but Holiday isn’t about to give up her new gig. Even if that means Shue no longer has one. Ooh, that’s a tough call. Who would I rather have as a teacher? Matthew Morrison or Gwyneth Paltrow. Most of me says Gwyn, hands down, but the softer, much smaller lady part of me says Gwyn, too.
Mercedes stuffs tots in the tail pipe of Sue’s super expensive car and when Sue puts the heat on em’ in her office, Holiday doesn’t know how to help. She decides to quit and tells this to Shue at his place. They’re having a few brews when Terry walks in and thinks Will is on some sort of date. He tells Terry that sleeping with her was a mistake and that he never wants to see her again. The whole time Holiday is trying to leave and for some reason he doesn’t let her. If someone made me watch that I’d stab my eyes out.
Mercedes sneaks tots into McKinely but Kurt kills her tater buzz by telling her she should take better care of herself. She agrees and goes to talk to that cute black guy. Karsofsy, the closeted jock bully, shows up right after and tells Kurt he’s gonna KILL him if he tells anyone he tried to kiss Kurt. Ugh! Knew THAT was coming… Five bucks says Kurt spills the beans the next ep and 10 bucks says it’s to Blaine.
The glang rallies for Shuester to come back and Sue has no choice but to return him to his rightful position. He’s anxious to get back into the swing of things with Sectionals swiftly approaching. Shue wants the gang to perform “Singin’ in the Rain” and they don’t seem to gung ho about it so he goes to Holiday for help. He finds her teaching history as Mary Todd Lincoln. Which was HIGHlarious. Man, Gwyn is winning ol’ Birschy over, I gotta tell ya. Anyway, Shue gives Holiday the download and I SWEAR they had a “romantical” type moment. I think they might of had one at Shue’s house too but I wasn’t sure until now… Holy crap that would be awesome if Paltrow was a regular. I thought I was excited about Stamos…The power of Glee, y’all…
Put on those trendy galoshes that everyone seems to be wearing lately cause the last number is a “Singin’ In the Rain”/”Umbrella” mash-up. I loved the idea behind mixing those two songs but for some reason it didn’t work for me melodically. Maybe I love “Singing in the Rain” too much to want to mash it up with with a Rhianna song. But It LOOKED awesome, and it made me happy so that’s worth somethin’ ain’t it?
Yes. Yes it is.
I liked this ep. The previous is still my favorite of season two so far, but there was something in this particular episode that reminded me of how wonderfully different this show is from everything else on television. Somehow good ol’ Glee manages to be familiar, yet spontaneous and refreshing. When it rains here in LA, I get the same feeling…
Thanks a million for sticking with me my gleeloveds.
Talk at you soon.
yours and everyone else’s,
BirschTalk
PS And remember everyone, Becky will be watching you…
Gines O’ the Week
“They look like deep fried dog poop.” Brittany’s observation on tater-tots.
“You make the under flaps of my breasts burn. Like when I used to rub them with poison sumac.” Sue
“Do you know what this is? It’s broccoli. When I showed this to Brittany she began to whimper cause she thought I cut down a small tree where a family of gummy bears used to live.” Sue
25 Comments
I thought that Kurt had already told Blaine about the “Kiss Cringed ‘Round the World?” That was why he came to try and help the guy out of the closet.
Great recap! I’m glad Glee finally hit its stride again!
Best one in MANY weeks and maybe all season. Show had been a little too heavy on the dark and not enough humor ever since Kurt’s dad had his heart attack.
I knew Gwen could sing because she was in a movie called “Duets” maybe about 10 years ago, where she sang a duet with Huey Lewis, who played her dad in the movie. It was a pretty good song and actually got some radio play, and the movie was really good too. . . and back to my point Gwen sounded great.
Also, if you knew cars the whole bit about Sue driving a 1979 Renault Le Car is hilarious, because it was a notorious piece of shit. The reason they’re rare is because they all fell apart 25 years ago.
By the way, the Huey Lewis – Gwyneth Paltrow single from “Duets” was called “Cruisin’”. The video is on Youtube.
jasonR, I remembered that too, and Bioscotto, he did tell Blaine, and Karofsky knows it. I would have so preferred if Karofsky had just patted his arm and walked away–a death threat, too harsh, and any kind of turn around from this is getting less likely. I preferred the wink walk by too. I heard Max Adler, the actor who plays Karofsky, has done an “it’s gets better” video ( I should look that up)
I don’t hate Gwyn, but so many do, I guess I’m tainted–I have read some ridiculous stuff from goop that make her so haughty, ew, but I liked her here, and I really liked her in Shallow Hal (go figure)
Hated the mash-up with the heat of a thousand super nova’s!!! For a gay guy I ain’t too fond of old time musical movies, not because they’re not filled with wonderful dancing and songs, they’re just so damn gay, and I mean that in the true definition of happiness, it’s all too smiley smiley for me (I do think Gene Kelly was amazing tho) so anyhoo, hated all of Shue’s stuff, I felt like it was shoe horned into the episode, and nearly ruined it. Sorry to those of you who liked it, just spouting!
Terry may as well have been a piece of trash he was kicking. She wouldn’t have had that reaction if she’s on the meds she describes. From what I’ve seen with a few people in my personal life, is those drugs kill!!! They seem to remove all caring from the people taking them, and I mean caring about anything or anyone. such a change, and sadly, they lose touch completely with who they used to be and don’t realize they’ve changed. And they get addicted to them, and if they mix it with booze, ala Lohan, it’s trainwreck time.
If anyone’s thinking of trying them, try therapy or something first, please . . . at least read up on all the side affects, there are posts on line with horror stories from people who were on them. Don’t recall the exact anti-depressant, a few I’ve heard of sounded the same, but Adderall, the anti-anxiety one is bad news!!! F’s with one’s memory too, they just can’t recall anything anymore, and don’t care, because they don’t care about anything. In their eyes, they feel free.
Two of my closest friends have been on these and/or still are. One ended up in rehab, and is still struggling with sobriety, and the other broke up her marriage, lost the love and respect of her kids, took up with a new “person” with dubious credentials, and continues to live on the rollercoaster, craving an “Addy and a glass of red wine”
Please forgive me for all this . . . sigh . . .
am i the only person who get’s upset when schu sings with the kids? like i always feel like he’s taking a solo from another guy. i just wish someone would tell him he’s the teacher and he needs to step back. finn and santana or mercedes or even quinn could have done the last song of this episode…
Yeah, tnchick, it makes him look like an attention whore who wants to be a big fish in a small pond. Maybe he’s making up for his own high school experiences by living the fantasy.
Wouldn’t it be weird if high school teachers were always front-and-center in performances, like playing the lead in the school play, cheering with the cheerleaders, or playing on the basketball team?
I’m sure people have excellent reasons for hating Gwyneth, but they shouldn’t let it get in the way of enjoying her acting, because she is good.
juddfan,
adderall is for ADD or ADHD. Xanax is an anti-anxiety medication.
Agree that shue singing with the kids is ridiculous! Not only is that character incredibly boring and obnoxious, I would much prefer to hear the kids sing as it is THEIR glee club.
Paltrow was surprisingly fun. Being blissfully ignorant of her off-screen persona, I can enjoy her performance. I was amused that the show felt the need to show that Will is not, in fact, the worst teacher in the world by introducing Miss Holiday. At least not the most irresponsible one.
Mercedes hallucination made me laugh and blush at the same time. I’ve been guilty of queening out in front of straight friends and … yea. ‘I open my mouth and a little pink purse drops out!’ Ahem. I resemble that remark occasionally.
Singing in the Rain is not one of my favorite musicals and ‘Make ‘em Laugh’ has always annoyed me because it’s a straight-up ripoff of ‘Be a Clown’, an infinitely superior and much more witty Cole Porter song, so the musical numbers other than Paltrow’s fell flat for me.
Also, the bully? Scary as hell. The actor is very good at playing somebody who seems genuinely unhinged and capable of really harming someone.
If Kurt ends up with that guy, I … I don’t know. This is the Internet so I feel like should threaten to stop watching or go live in a bunker in Wyoming or eat worms or something. I’ll just say that particular pairing wouldn’t be to my taste and I hope they go another way.
Well, I expected to be the only one who wasn’t loving the Gwen episode. I’m not especially crazy about her acting because I think she can be wooden sometimes, but I, like juddfan, liked Shallow Hal!! (Don’t judge me!) I didn’t care for the mash up either but I did like what little interaction we got to see between Kurt and Blaine. Guess you can’t like every episode – but I want to!!
I loved this episode! I’m not a huge Gwyn fan, but I thought she was great. I hope she’s a recurring character-I think she could be to Glee what Justin Timberlake is to SNL. And I love ‘Singin’ in the Rain,’ with the exception of the whole technicolor scene that went way too long & I think dragged down the movie. Anyway, wasn’t a huge fan of the mash-up, but I think that’s because I hate ‘Umbrella.’ But I thought the number itself was amazing-I’m ok with the teachers taking center stage on this one, cuz I think the major plots of this episode revolved around them, so it made sense.
As soon as Terry made her threats to Shue, I thought-she’s gong to get pregnant for reals this time. And I’m sure the news will come out as soon as he’s reunited with the guidance counselor.
I’m so happy Harry Shum was signed on as a regular-I love him, he’s an awesome dancer & a hottie. I liked the ‘Make ‘em Laugh,’ number & thought they did a great job. If anything, it’s exposing some legendary cinema to people who may have never heard of this movie-I doubt there’s many dancers out there today who know how much they owe to Gene Kelly & Donald O’Conner.
Oh-great recap Birsch! I love them when they’re short, sweet, funny, & hit all the main points! Kadooz!
Well, TVaholic, I’ll agree with you on one thing – “Asian Mike” is a hottie! I love it every time we get to see him and I feel like the skeevy old lady letching after the young kid. I would be happy if he had a dance every week!
@kdfinjpn – I didn’t really like this episode, either. It had a lot of things just thrown at the wall and came off like a paean to the awesomeness of Gwyneth. I didn’t think she was fun at all. Her dancing was obviously awkward, but I thought her acting was stiff and over the top, too.
Plus, Ryan Murphy’s fat phobia seems to be taking over this season. First, everyone telling Cory Monteith how he needs to get in shape now the condescension toward Amber Riley’s Mercedes. Last season they did a story where she becomes a Cheerio and develops an eating disorder but gets over it by singing “Beautiful” and now…they tell her she’s fat and needs to stop replacing “love” with “food” and give up the tater tots to get a man? Make up your mind? Should she love herself regardless, or get skinny?
And I hated the mashup. If “Nowadays”, a 35-year-old song, didn’t need to be mashed up with Kesha, don’t mess with “Singing in the Rain.”
Birsch, Baby Brittany is the one with the bangs!
kdfinjpn-I know what you mean! But if it makes you feel any better, I just looked Harry up on imdb, & according to his bio he’s 28!! Woo-hoo, we’re not skeevy old ladies!! (ahem, old-er ladies)
vallegirl-I didn’t really think about that, the whole fat-phobia thing. Makes you wonder, is it just protraying the real life crap kids go thru with body image, or is he projecting his own attitude into the show? Look at Lea Michele-she kind of pulled an Ally McBeal where she came back in season 2 obviously skinnier when she had no need to lose weight. And Mercedes-arguably one of the most talented voices on the show, and they’re still digging on her weight when she made it clear she’s happy how she is? I hope they set her up with that hottie jock. Screw giving up the tots, I’d want my tots AND the hot man!!
TVAHOLIC: get thee over to Twunty McSlore’s place. People are worried about you, grrrl.
When people are obese, they should not just love themselves for who they are. Lea Michele was never fat, so I definitely don’t mean her, but Amber Riley is not a healthy weight. The reason this country is filled with as many obese people as it is is in part due to the fact that we want to tell people to just love themselves. If these people truly loved themselves, they would stop feeding their faces and get serious about getting healthy. Staying fat just increases your chance of dying young. Diabetes, heart disease, etc.
But scolding people about their weight doesn’t encourage them to become healthy. It’s more likely to encourage them to develop equally unhealthy eating disorders. Being “thin” should not be anyone’s goal, being healthy should. It’s healthier to be a consistent weight, even if it’s 30 or 40 pounds overweight, than it is to find various ways to starve oneself to an aesthetically thin figure. Many thin women are as unhealthy as people assume overweight women are.
The false equation that if thin equals healthy then not thin does not equal healthy is one cause for people developing eating disorders, whether it’s chronic overeating, bulimia, exercise bulimia or anorexia. Encouraging a young woman, via Mercedes character, to love herself regardless of whether she looks like Amber Riley or Heather Morris, does not do her a disservice. A young woman who loves herself is more likely to find healthier ways to eat than a young woman who’s condescended to by skinny people saying “they’re concerned and want her to take care of herself.”
This combined with, Sue’s fanatical interference with her Cheerios appearances and the utterly ridiculous storyline that Finn’s a slob and his half-naked body traumatized the other students indicates at least a slight unhealthy obsession with aesthetics.
This isn’t to say that there aren’t healthy, thin women. Just that saying one body type is the ideal and all should aspire to it under the rubric of health instead of aesthetics is ridiculous and one reason why we’re all so fucked up about our appearance.
I also hate when people use the phrase “womanly” to describe a curvier woman because it implies that slim women are somehow less of a woman because of their bodies.
I’m not even through the first page, but I had to stop and say how awesome “Top that” is! I thought my family were the only people to see and remember that awesome movie and song! YES! Back to reading…
I don’t want to get in a Mike&Molly vs. Marie Clair type argument,but I think it’s great that they have a hugely talented (pun not intended), confident, beautiful & strong character like Mercedes who’s not the usual cookie-cutter, super-skinny type so that those of us who don’t look like Quinn or Santana can relate.
Hey skatt! Hmm, I am a bit slow at work today…
I don’t want anyone to think that I think the only people that are healthy are thin people, I just think there is a difference between healthy and obese, and Mercedes is obese.
First off, just wanted to say I LOVED Teen Witch. Frilly lace ankle socks with day-glo pumps? Fashion Statement!
I loved this episode! I thought Gwyneth was really good. Except for her attempt at Robot-Dancing in the first song. That was disgraceful.
Birsch- Totally agree about Donald O’Connor’s charisma. He was AMAZING in the original number.
So does this mean the guy playing Principal Figgins is out of a job?
The “Sex While Sick” part of the show made me uncomfortable. I would hate to get someone else’s snot on me anyway but during nookie? Not very sexy… YUCK
Mchz, hmmm . . . in both of my friends cases they said they were for anti-anxiety-have they been misdiagnosed!? I don’t know if this means you are on Adderal, or whatever, I just never knew anything about all these frickin’ pills everybody’s getting put on by doctors (probably getting kick backs from drug companies) Neither of my friends are ADD or ADHD, so as I say . . . something’s fishy! From what I understand, they both used it to cure the hangover that would be coming in the morning.
kdfinjpn-ha, I feel less alone in the world. I really feel Gwyn acted like an obese person who just appeared thin. It was great, and for myself, surprisingly melancholy at the end, I actually cried (what a marooon!)
Forgot to say, I actually liked the Umbrella part. . . Gwyn fit that one to a tee. And I would perhaps love the oldies if it wasn’t cornball Shue doing it, is it me!? He just comes across so corny to me . . .
As for the food thing, ugh . . . yeah, got a bunch of that in the family too, and in my world, it’s an addiction more than anything, as a smoker, I feel I cannot judge someone else who is merely using something else than I am “to get by” or whatever you would say. Kate Bush sang, “Them heavy people reveal the soft spot” and I think they do. I like bigger guys (like the bully and more) and I prefer a world with people of all types, shapes and sizes. I do prefer to not be shown poor Mercedes having a love relationship with a fried piece of turd (IMHO) but I’d feel the same way watching Whitney serenade a crack pipe (and hopefully that’s a past tense dig)
The sad thing about weight, (oh God, more soapboxing–I so need to STFU) but anyway, I’ve found a person develops a resting weight that their body becomes accustomed to, so when Oprah does a liquid diet and loses all that weight, it just comes back, because it’s her bodies resting weight. I fought for many years to slowly reduce my own bodies resting weight so I could stop ping-pong dieting, and just eat right instead. Pretty much worked, but now that I’m older, my face is too drawn, so I’m actually trying to shape up with a few more pounds to keep me filled out in the face. Literally, I went home to visit, all proud, being all thin, and everyone thought I had AIDS . . . sigh . . .
TV – you changed your avatar! So glad to hear that my guy is 28 – I feel a little (but not much) less skeevy! That said, I still plan to watch and drool!!
I hear ya juddfan, every time I show the slightest weight loss, my dad starts freaking out, even though I’m probably 50 lbs over my healthy college weight.
I’ve loved Gwyneth since Emma (Jane Austen movie) and thought she was wonderful here; but it’s clear she’s doing it as an advert for her new movie, Country Strong, for which she seems badly miscast. I’d be really surprised to see her drop by Glee again.
As usual in this ep, teacher/student boundaries are all over the place. I don’t really want my teachers tweeting me, hello?