Groooooss! A sneeze is the last thing ol’ Birschy wants to see in slo-mo… Quinn walking down the halls? Slo-mo that shit! Brittany’s sweet dance moves? Slo-mo it. But AV nerd Lauren Zizes sneezing on Figgins?! Ew, no, bless you. Now Figgins’ has some weird monkey flu and magically Sue Sylvester has the authority to take over. I’ve got a feeling she’s gonna try her darnedest to take the pal out of Principal… Lauren Zizes sneezed on Shue, too, but at least we didn’t have to see her saliva travel from her mouth to Shue’s pretty face…
In glee, Goody Two Shues has the most adorable fever induced hallucination ever. Seriously it was so frickeen cute. Like the Muppet Baby version of Glee… Shue gets too sick to work so he’s gonna have to call in a muppet baby sitter/sub who hopefully at least we’ll get to see the top half of…. In fact, WHO will that be, I wonder? Hopefully it will be a really well known highly respected actress whom I would have never thought could sing before this and is married to the lead vocalist of Coldplay, and also who I was strangely attracted to in Shakespeare in Love, but we’ll see…
Which one is Brittany and which one is Quinn?
Ew! Double gross! Someone is picking up Shue’s snotty tissues with their bare hands. Has Emma totally gotten over her neurotic stuff? No, darn it, it’s Terry. She’s shown up to take care of Will but he doesn’t want her to. And I don’t blame him, that baby voice is weird. He kicks her out but not before she established that Will’s favorite movie to watch when he’s sick is “Singin’ In the Rain.” Good choice, Shue. Mine? “Teen Witch.” No. I’m not joking, and I AM going to be the most popular girl, so top that.
Kurt and Mercedes are dishin’ up food in the caf and dishin’ out snaps about how glee has run amuck with Rachel at the wheel. Mercedes gives Kurt a hard time for flaking on their plans cause he’s gonna hang out with Blaaaaaaaaine. Oooooooooh! Kisssey kissssey!!! (They haven’t yet, btw. God, I hope they do though. And I hope it’s the healthiest, longest lasting relationship on the show.) Then there’s a weird almost sexual exchange with Mercedes and what I believe to be tater-tots, after which, she and Kurt decide they need a sub to run glee.
A Gwyneth Paltrow voice over tells us a little bit what it’s like to be a substitute teacher, which apparently includes finding alligators in one’s car, but also reveals that she is pretty much the coolest sub in the entire world. She’s like the Mary Poppins of subs. She even sang a school house rock number in English class, yo! WHAAAAT? I think the cast of Glee should do a whole epi of School House Rock for the younger Glee fans. And also for me…
In glee, the glang sets up to mess with a sub but little do they know they’re about to get Holly Holiday-ed. She slides into class and instantly wins over the students talking about medical marijuana and refraining from singing songs from the 80s… Booooo! I LOVE when the glang does 80s songs. Puck wants to sing a Cee-Lo Green song and Santanta wants to know what Ms. Holiday knows about some Cee-Lo. Which brings us to our first number of the epi- “Forget You.” I was so jealous, you guys! I wanna sing “Forget You” with Gwyneth Paltrow! No fair! And hey, she didn’t sound half bad! The dancing was a little stiff but nothing horribly awkward. Except what was with the gang signs she kept throwin’ up?
Stage right, ese!
Also, if she were REALLY cool she’d sing the original version of “Forget You,” just sayin’…
Sue’s looking for trouble and when trying to disband the football team doesn’t work she sees a bunch of fatties in the hallway and decides to ban tater-tots instead. NOW I see why the tater-tots and Mercedes exchanged “do me” faces…
This must be a dream sequence because Mike Chang is telling Shue how much they need him for Sectionals. Oh, it IS cause now they’re performing “Make Them Laugh,” inspired by the original dance number in Singin’ In the Rain. Wasn’t EXACTLY the same but pretty darn close. “A” for effort. All though I have to say this version has about a third of the charisma that Donald O’Conner’s had, and there wasn’t TWO of him.
Shue wakes up from his dream cause Rachel wants to tell him about Holly Holiday and how she’s a threat to his position. The “cut to” where Sue and Holiday watch Animal Hoarders and drink red wine while highlighting their hair was GOLD… Now that’s a night out ol’ Birschy can appreciate.
Mercedes is about to rip someone’s head off cause Kurt just flaked on her again AND “Principal Sue” banned tater-tots. She declares war on Sue who refers to her as JacQUE… WOW that’s funny. Racist and funny.
In the halls, Rachel informs Holiday she’s going to report her to the school nurse for a bruise on her bum and by the end of their conversation Rachel has agreed to do a song with Ms. Holiday instead. A song that Rachel has always wanted to do. One that Shue would never let her do in the first place. Looks like it’s a jolly holiday with Holiday. She’s even gets Rachel to loosen up. Settle down, Finn!
Terry is spoon feeding soup to Shue as they casually chat about the medication she’s on to make her less crazy. Ruh roh. Bow chicka bow booooow. Terry breaks out the Vicks Vapor Rub and rubs it onto his shoulders. Which is weird cause you’re supposed to rub it on your chest. And come to think of it it woulda been wonderfully awkward to watch Terry do that but I suppose that was a little too risque. Just risque enough though cause then they totally ended up DOING IT.
At lunch, Mercedes is ranting about the healthy baby food that Sue Sylvester is having them eat and Kurt tries to console her by setting her up with a really hot black guy. She’s taken though. Her and the tots are goin’ steady so she opts for those instead the really hot black guy. She even makes a sign that says “TOTS.” Before you know it the whole cafeteria is angrily chanting “tots.” Sue and Becky stand in the middle of it all assessing the war they’re about to fight… I’ve never seen anyone take tater-tots so seriously. Unless it’s me, and I’m having fish sticks.
In the auditorium, Rachel and Holiday perform Chicago’s “Nowadays” for the glang. Again, the dancing was a little stiff on Gwyn’s behalf but nooooot bad! Boy she’s a tall drink a water! I’m surprised she even manages to walk, let alone dance.
Shue goes back to school before he’s well enough but only to get even more sick in a different kinda way. Figgins has been fired. The board thinks Sue is doing such a good job as principal feeding foam to the students. Her first official act? Firing Shue, of course. She even had a classic Will Shuester hair jab to boot. Ahhh, now that’s the Sue I love.
Mercedes is bored out her mind with Blaine and Kurt at Breadstix, and the only time she opens her eyes is to order tater-tots. Oh, and the little purse falling out of Kurt’s mouth during Mercedes boredom induced hallucination? Awesome.
“How’s he gonna fit his tampons in THERE?”
Shue pays a visit to Holiday in the band room but Holiday isn’t about to give up her new gig. Even if that means Shue no longer has one. Ooh, that’s a tough call. Who would I rather have as a teacher? Matthew Morrison or Gwyneth Paltrow. Most of me says Gwyn, hands down, but the softer, much smaller lady part of me says Gwyn, too.
Mercedes stuffs tots in the tail pipe of Sue’s super expensive car and when Sue puts the heat on em’ in her office, Holiday doesn’t know how to help. She decides to quit and tells this to Shue at his place. They’re having a few brews when Terry walks in and thinks Will is on some sort of date. He tells Terry that sleeping with her was a mistake and that he never wants to see her again. The whole time Holiday is trying to leave and for some reason he doesn’t let her. If someone made me watch that I’d stab my eyes out.
Mercedes sneaks tots into McKinely but Kurt kills her tater buzz by telling her she should take better care of herself. She agrees and goes to talk to that cute black guy. Karsofsy, the closeted jock bully, shows up right after and tells Kurt he’s gonna KILL him if he tells anyone he tried to kiss Kurt. Ugh! Knew THAT was coming… Five bucks says Kurt spills the beans the next ep and 10 bucks says it’s to Blaine.
The glang rallies for Shuester to come back and Sue has no choice but to return him to his rightful position. He’s anxious to get back into the swing of things with Sectionals swiftly approaching. Shue wants the gang to perform “Singin’ in the Rain” and they don’t seem to gung ho about it so he goes to Holiday for help. He finds her teaching history as Mary Todd Lincoln. Which was HIGHlarious. Man, Gwyn is winning ol’ Birschy over, I gotta tell ya. Anyway, Shue gives Holiday the download and I SWEAR they had a “romantical” type moment. I think they might of had one at Shue’s house too but I wasn’t sure until now… Holy crap that would be awesome if Paltrow was a regular. I thought I was excited about Stamos…The power of Glee, y’all…
Put on those trendy galoshes that everyone seems to be wearing lately cause the last number is a “Singin’ In the Rain”/”Umbrella” mash-up. I loved the idea behind mixing those two songs but for some reason it didn’t work for me melodically. Maybe I love “Singing in the Rain” too much to want to mash it up with with a Rhianna song. But It LOOKED awesome, and it made me happy so that’s worth somethin’ ain’t it?
Yes. Yes it is.
I liked this ep. The previous is still my favorite of season two so far, but there was something in this particular episode that reminded me of how wonderfully different this show is from everything else on television. Somehow good ol’ Glee manages to be familiar, yet spontaneous and refreshing. When it rains here in LA, I get the same feeling…
Thanks a million for sticking with me my gleeloveds.
Talk at you soon.
yours and everyone else’s,
PS And remember everyone, Becky will be watching you…
Gines O’ the Week
“They look like deep fried dog poop.” Brittany’s observation on tater-tots.
“You make the under flaps of my breasts burn. Like when I used to rub them with poison sumac.” Sue
“Do you know what this is? It’s broccoli. When I showed this to Brittany she began to whimper cause she thought I cut down a small tree where a family of gummy bears used to live.” Sue