Glee Minicap

Let’s talk about sex baby!

Finally, Glee addresses all the virgins in the cast by pointing out how their virginity makes them all shitty actors! It’s true, you don’t know what true disappointment is like until after you experience a novice romp in the sack.

Rachel and Blaine, the remaining virgins, deal with it in the typical high school way; if they don’t have sex immediately their dreams won’t come true, the world will end and they will ultimately die.

So the episode is dedicated to adventures in virginity, where everyone shares stories about their first time. Their first times were horrid; Brittany described hers as an “Alien Invasion” and Santana’s had so much sex she can’t remember her first time, aside from a vague recollection of a large mass on top of her.

Also treading virgin territory is Coach Beiste. She has a crush on a College scout named Cooter, which makes me wonder if this is an allusion to her questionable sexuality. Very clever, Glee writers.

Cooter has a crush on her as well but they are both so delightfully awkward they just can’t get together. Will these two wayward lovers ever find each other? Yes, they do.  But only after Cooter almost beats Beiste over the head with a dinner date invitation. She is just so guarded, that Beiste.

Artie falls in the virgin category, not in that he is an actual virgin, Brittany cashed in that V-card a long time ago, but that it’s his very first time directing! He experiences anxieties about the production, much in the same way his fellow Glee friends are worrying about “doing sex” for the first time.  In this show, everyone is an awkward virgin in at least one aspect of their lives. Except Puck, he’s a manwhore across the board.

BTW, where is Rory? He is the most virgin of them all. It seems like my little leprechaun friend is too busy eating all those four-leaf clovers to address the issue of his virginity.

To refresh your memory about last week’s Glee, click here.