Glee: New Directions

Recaps

By BirschTalk | Thursday, May 13, 2010 | 2:30 pm | 35 Comments
Posted in: Featured, Glee, Recaps

This week on Glee: Less zingers and more heart stingers!

OR

This week on Glee: Less jeers and more tears. Plus, as always, lots o’ queers!

Puck Dumpster

Glee Willikers, my gleeloveds, this ep threw me for a loop! A good loop, though. A gloop, if you will. (I’ll add that to BirschTalk and Gayster Glictionary, where everything starts with a “Gl.”) Episode 18 DOESN’T start off with Sue Sylvester setting up Will Shuester to rescue New Directions. In fact, it seemed as though the writers themselves decided to go in another direction all together! (“Another Direction!” Name of the new Glee spin off series? I hope not.)

Will’s weekly homework assignment did NOT contain the name of the episode. Annnnnd, I think we only got about TWO minutes worth of in your face time with Sue Sylvester… You see, in my fantasies, the writers are reading these recaps cause anytime I try to nail them down they use their little laptops to unhinge the patterns I point out. Not only me, YOU too! Weren’t we just talking about having too much Sue Sylvester? (Although I still contend you can NEVER have enough Sue Sylvester.) Creepy. Refreshingly creepy…

“Human Garbage” opens with what sounds like my vibrator but really it’s Puck’s mohawk being shaved off. Let’s face it, it’s not a mohawk though, it’s really more of a speed bump. And because his speed bump is gone everyone is suddenly able to look him in the eye in the halls.

Speedbump Closeup.Jpg (400×300)-1-1

He tells Santana his mom made him do it cause she was afraid that the freckle on his head was skin cancer. Then they made a tennis joke. Good for them… Santanaceratops is totally turned off by Puckasaurus’ sans speed bump, not to mention his whining…

A pen click or two, reminiscent of West Side Story finger snaps, leads us into Puck being thrown into the dumpster by a gang a nerds. His voiceover tells us the name of the episode and how he’s decided that dating Mercedes will bring the Puckasauras out of extinction. Enough with the dinosaur stuff, BirschTalk!

Rachel is literally getting sick from carrying the weight in glee so she has the portly AV President, Lauren Zysees, bug the choir room in exchange for candy bars.

Zysees

No need for a caption.

BTW, I loved the paranoid “Who’s this guy, who’s this guy” when a fellow student walks by. Anyway, Zysees makes it happen and Rachel gives Shue a list of those in glee who aren’t singing half the time.

Puck tries to unite the Jews and blacks by hitting on Mercedes but she turns him down with a clever comparison of their personified musical genres. I’m joking about the clever part.

In glee, Shue scolds some of the glang for slacking off so his homework assignment is to sing a song that best represents who they are in order to “find their voices” once again. Kurt is super excited about it until runs into his dad who is picking up Finn to go to a football game. Ugh. Here comes the watery eyed stare again… BTW, what a coincidence that this episode is airing at the same time Ryan Murphy, Glee’s creator, is calling for a ban on Newsweek due to an apparently homophobic article… Seriously, I had NO idea Jonathan Groff was gay and this guy who wrote the article, Ramin Setoodeh, says he acts like a “theater queen!??”

Good thing Randy Jackson wasn’t there in glee to hear Rachel’s pitchy version of Miley Cyrus’, “The Climb.” Even the asian guy stops smiling and Shue makes Rachel realize she’s lost her voice! DOOBA DOOBA DOOBA DOOOBA DOOO! (Sing using head voice)

At the lockers, we’re rationed our one of two Sylvester sightings. She only stays long enough to get one zinger into “Glines of the Week!” She does however get Kurt to thinking that he might not be gay. Next thing we know at the Hummels, Kurt is wearing flannel and asking his dad what John Mellencamp’s “Pretty Pink Houses” is about.

Rachel freaks out when a doctor tells her she might not get her voice back and she may have to have surgery. The doc prescribes some antibiotics, and Finn who’s there for moral support, thinks Rachel should also take a daily dose of VitaFinns. Rachel tells Finn she’s still hooked on Jesse though. Then we’re punched right in the nose with Finn’s “Jessie’s Girl” by Rick Springfield. I can always tell when Finn is about to sing cause he does that one eye partially closed thing.

Finn

I yam what I yam

Finn finishes his cooing over Rachel and it’s Puck’s turn to do some crazy coo coo cooing himself. He sings “Sammy Davis Jr’s “Lady Is A Tramp.” MANNN this was hard to watch, or hear, rather. Puck was drowning in his own insufficient vocals but thank the Rat Pack because Mercedes vocals saved the song from being a total failure. Puck is growing on me but his voice, even processed, doesn’t have the smooth, silky strength that the amazing Sammy had…

At the lockers, Quinn gives Mercedes the go ahead to date Puck but warns her that she’s being used, and to watch out for the jealous Santanaceratops!

Santanaceratops

Raaaaaar! Neck role. Raaaaar! Neck role.

In Glee, Kurt’s recently adopted good ol’ boy accent gets even thicker as he sings a gravely “Pink Houses.” Even despite HIS subtle neck rolling, Brittany thinks he’s suddenly straight and wants to maintain her perfect made-out with every boy in the school record.

Rachel sports a homeless look and is still upset over losing her voice. Finn tells her he wants her to meet an old friend of his. Then he points to his wiener. Nooo, he doesn’t, sillies!

Rachel Homeless

Kurt’s dad is cornfused cause he catches Kurt and Brittany making out, and Brittany, bless her heart and tiny brain is just confused.

Puck is on his way to get Mercedes a frozen coffee beverage when he finds out from the Jew fro nerd that he’s once again Mr. popular. Puck even gets a look from Santana, which Mercedes notices. This sends the ladies into a Brandy, featuring Monica, “The Boy Is Mine” song fight. I loved this! But I love this song in the first place. What’s more, I love when the song fits their vocal stylings and I thought this suited Santana and Mercedes perfectly. I was dizzy with excitement. And also just dizzy cause they did way too much of that spinning thing.

Santanta Push

“Jerry! Jerrrry! Jerry!”

Mercedes is upset that Puck is throwing away a perfectly good bunch of nerds and Puck explains that it’s a necessary evil. She’s not having it though and ends up dumping Puck AND quitting Cheerios. This is where we have another Sue sighting.

Finn has Rachel meet Sean Frathold, who is paralyzed from the neck down, to make her realize that she is more than just her voice. She also has a very nice long torso. Seriously, she really does have long torso…

Kurt once again gets dissed by his dad to hang out with Finn. This sends Kurt into a raging AMAZING version of “Roses Turn,” from the musical Gypsy. (I had the pleasure of seeing Bernadette Peters sing this very song years ago and it was wonderful!) Chris Colfer gave an incredibly moving performance. And what was even MORE moving was the scene with his dad after… I cried like a baby. Like a big gay baby. I haven’t gotten this emotional over a Glee scene since Kurt’s coming out to his dad scene, so this is the SECOND time those two got me, right in the ticker.

That scene ruined me and by the time Rachel visits Sean to give him voice lessons and gets him to sing U2′s “One Love,” I was an absolute blubbering idiot. They even did a little bit of the the thing that I love where they actually sing on camera as opposed to a pre-recording. Eventually though, the whole glang joins in and they transition into a staged glee performance. BUT, the song ends with Rachel shedding a single tear in harmony with Sean.

Boy oh boy, did that last sentence sound incredibly cheesy. It wasn’t though. The moment was really so sweet and sad and genuine, I couldn’t help but think of a very recent experience, and at the risk of sharing too much, I’m going to tell you anyway… I just lost my grandma. (She lived a very full 92 years!) She was bedridden her last few days and was virtually non-responsive and mostly unable to talk. Somehow though, when my sister and I sang to her, she mustered up the strength to join in… We sang “Hello Dolly,” just like we used to do as kids standing round her old piano.

Music is a powerful thing. I’m so happy that Glee takes advantage of that.

Thanks for sticking with me, my gleeloveds.

Talk at you soon!

Yours and everyone else’s,

BirschTalk

Glines O’ the Week

• I feel like that guy who lost all his hair and then lost all his strength. -Puck, “Sampson?” -Santana “Aggasi” – Puck

• “I am like Tinkerbell, Finn, I need applause to live” -Rachel

• “Kissing my armpits is a really big turn on for me.” Brittany

• “I’m a sex shark, if I stop moving, I die.” -Puck

• “So you like show tunes. Doesn’t mean you’re gay. It just means you’re awful.” -Sue

BirschTalk lives in Los Angeles, writing and performing comedy... What, are you writing a book?

35 Comments

  1. 1
    Renoblondee
    Posted May 13, 2010 at 4:02 pm

    BirschTalk, that was one funny recap! I’m so sorry you lost your grandma but glad for that sweet moment you all had.

  2. 2
    birschtalk
    Posted May 13, 2010 at 4:09 pm

    Thanks kindly, Renoblondee.

  3. 3
    birschtalk
    Posted May 13, 2010 at 4:11 pm

    PS TWO corrections I’m seeing post publish.. Whoops!

    The caption under Santanceratops should say “Raarr! Head ROLL. Raaar Head ROLL” not role stupid BirschTalk…

    Also,

    There’s only one pen click from the nerd gang and after watching the scene for a third time I realize it’s just supposed to be like a switch blade….

  4. 4
    birschtalk
    Posted May 13, 2010 at 4:21 pm

    PPS The name of the episode is actually “Laryngitis!” No more doing these at 2 in the morning… Sorry, y’all.

  5. 5
    jarthon jarthon
    Posted May 13, 2010 at 4:22 pm

    Wasn’t the name of the episode “Laryngitis”? That’s what it says online but I might be confused.

  6. 6
    juddfan
    Posted May 13, 2010 at 4:24 pm

    Oh Birsch, I don’t think there was a gay eye dry in the house . . . no matter what your relationship with your “dad” or “parents” I was a bundle of mush, and I also loved the music this epi. I never thought this little bon mot of a show was going to be an emotional blood letting . . . who knew. And I still crush on Kurt’s dad . . . hug me, me, you bitch!!!

  7. 7
    birschtalk
    Posted May 13, 2010 at 4:43 pm

    juddfan, not even letting you go for, like, three minutes, at least! Afterwards though, we’ll have an awkward moment, clear our throats, not look each other in the eyes, and talk about baseball.

  8. 8
    fire@will
    Posted May 13, 2010 at 7:41 pm

    Fine recap. Funny.

  9. 9
    PucksGirl
    Posted May 13, 2010 at 8:46 pm

    Did anyone else notice good ol Brittant being the only one living Rachel’s “The Climb,” it was such a subtle moment. Everyone else was cringing and she was into it, I love Brittany

  10. 10
    thatswhatshesaid
    Posted May 13, 2010 at 9:08 pm

    I LOVED kurt’s performance of “Rose’s Turn”. It was phenomenal!!

  11. 11
    thatswhatshesaid
    Posted May 13, 2010 at 9:11 pm

    Also, regarding the Newsweek article, the author was talking about the actor who plays Jesse, right? (I don’t know their real names) If so, I thought he was gay all this time and was pretending to like Rachel. I thought it would come out later that he is gay. I didn’t know he was gay in real life. Interesting…

  12. 12
    Nikki
    Posted May 14, 2010 at 7:05 am

    So…..does Kurt’s dad just always drive up to the school and wander in the hallways to tell Kurt of his nightly plans?

  13. 13
    Nikki
    Posted May 14, 2010 at 7:12 am

    OH…and also, right before Rachel was going to sing with Sean, she said she decided they’d do some classic rock…..And then sang U2. WTF?! The kids are calling U2 classic rock?!?!?! How old AM I?

  14. 14
    southerntippi
    Posted May 14, 2010 at 7:41 am

    Nikk, my sister called me immediately after that part freaking out about U2 being considered classic rock.

  15. 15
    Nikki
    Posted May 14, 2010 at 7:57 am

    Well, it doesn’t even make sense really, since they’re still putting out music. WhatEVAH!! =)

  16. 16
    juddfan
    Posted May 14, 2010 at 9:41 am

    agreed, Nikki and Southerntippi . . . but I was glad to hear “One” just the same–and a great version at that.

    Birsch, clearing throat . . . checking for that train going by in the distance . . . turning back and saying, “What were we talking about?”

    Big Hugs!!!

    What does everyone think about that Newsweek debacle . . . as a gay man who is pretty obvious from hello, I would find it hard to pull off a straight role, so to speak, but there are plenty of others who don’t exude fabulous like me and Kurt, who could easily play straight. Rock Hudson, anyone . . . Jessie, on the show, doesn’t seem that gay to me.

    Femininity and sexual preference are not the same thing, but I should really read the article before I go blasting off . . . ahem, not that I ever comment on things I know nothing about . . . not I!

  17. 17
    PottyMouth PottyMouth
    Posted May 14, 2010 at 10:16 am

    juddfan, there is a followup article that is actually more interesting. http://www.newsweek.com/id/237889

    This one is an interview with Marc Payser from Newsweek and Dustin Lance Black (screenwriter for Milk) and Jarrett Barrios (president of GLAAD). Payser is obviously trying to deflect attention away from the original article, but they say their piece about that and then move on from there. It’s worth a read.

    Anyway, BirschTalk, I’m very sorry to hear about your Grandma, and you are right, the power of music is an awesome thing to see. I’m glad you had those last moments with her. Big hugs coming your way.

    The scenes with Kurt and his dad always get to me. I love how the dad deals with his son being gay – always excellent writing in those scenes (great acting too).

    I thought this was a fun episode, loved some of the songs, others were just MEH, but one thing this show always does is make me smile. I love that this show is on and doing so well.

    Thanks for another great recap – the show makes me smile, and you crack me the fuck up!!

    SWAK, PottyMouth

  18. 18
    chemgal
    Posted May 14, 2010 at 11:15 am

    As a mom who suspects one of my children is gay, I too love the writing and the scenes between Kurt and his dad. While Kurt’s dad is accepting, he admits it is hard, and I particularly loved that his dad told Kurt his only job is to be himself and it was his job to learn to be okay with it.

  19. 19
    Wills
    Posted May 14, 2010 at 12:53 pm

    Please correct me if I am wrong but the boy who played Finn’s paralyzed friend, is paralyzed in real life too. I thought it was cool they used someone who is truly disabled.

  20. 20
    birschtalk
    Posted May 14, 2010 at 2:02 pm

    fire@will, thank you!

  21. 21
    birschtalk
    Posted May 14, 2010 at 2:04 pm

    i certainly agree with yous guys that U2 is classic rock only in the sense that it was as instant classic in the first place!

  22. 22
    birschtalk
    Posted May 14, 2010 at 2:12 pm

    PottyMouth, really great article. Thank you… And it’s an honor to crack up the great PottyMouth!

  23. 23
    birschtalk
    Posted May 14, 2010 at 2:19 pm

    chemgal, if i may be so bold as to suggest that WHEN the timing is right, you may want to consider asking your kid if he/she is gay… my mom did and i can tell you it made the whole coming out thing a heck of a lot easier… But I don’t know the particulars and it could be your offspring is too young or just not ready to accept who they are, gay or straight themselves!

  24. 24
    birschtalk
    Posted May 14, 2010 at 2:23 pm

    Wills, I had wondered that myself, especially since this is not the case with Artie… I referenced the professional version of imdb, but alas, even that did not divulge any information on that particular actor.

  25. 25
    chemgal
    Posted May 14, 2010 at 6:36 pm

    Thanks birschtalk, and i probably will when he’s a bit older. He’s not double digits yet, so he may not even understand yet the difference between who he is attracted to and who he is ATTRACTED to. We’re lucky that we live in a VERY liberal and accepting community and all my kids have grown up around same sex parents and my husband works with a surprisingly large percentage of lesbians who have all been in long term relationships. So, I’m hoping he realizes that our love isn’t conditional and that he is surrounded by neighbors and classmates that won’t have a problem either and if and when he is ready, he’ll tell us.

  26. 26
    chemgal
    Posted May 14, 2010 at 6:38 pm

    and by the way I didn’t mean it was surprising that lesbians are in long term relationships, I meant its surprising the % of coworkers who are lesbians.

  27. 27
    dudeIrock1
    Posted May 15, 2010 at 6:37 am

    “..even the Asian kid stops smiling..”
    Hahahaha I died at that. Your recap was hilarious, as usual. I loved that Puck finally got some face time, and I also loved the scenes between Kurt and his dad. Also, Kurt’s song was amazing. Sorry to hear about your grandma, Birschtalk, my thoughts are with you and your family.

  28. 28
    ashleighh
    Posted May 15, 2010 at 7:31 pm

    haha that was a really awesome recap :L lol i loved it when rachel was like “i’m like tinkerbell, finn, i need applause to live.” haha it’s so rachel!!haha and sex shark lolo! :P

  29. 29
    baffled
    Posted May 17, 2010 at 3:16 pm

    Love this show and loved your recap, but I have to say I always thought Puck was one of the best singers in the group.

    I also loved the story about your grandma. A girlfriend and I did the same thing with my little brother a few days before he died. He’d been on a ventilator and then they did a tracheotomy. He still couldn’t talk, but he mouthed the words along with us and smiled. I’ll never, ever forget it as long as I live.

  30. 30
    birschtalk
    Posted May 18, 2010 at 12:17 am

    chemgal, do you work at a fuel dock? Or maybe you’re a trucker? ;)

  31. 31
    birschtalk
    Posted May 18, 2010 at 12:18 am

    dudlerock, thank you, dear…

  32. 32
    birschtalk
    Posted May 18, 2010 at 12:20 am

    Very much appreciated, ashleigh.

  33. 33
    birschtalk
    Posted May 18, 2010 at 12:36 am

    baffled, thank you so much for sharing about your brother. Heartbreaking, yet so very profound and special…

    And we’ll see about Puck! So far he’s getting by based solely on his looks. ;)

  34. 34
    DS2
    Posted May 24, 2010 at 10:47 pm

    I am convinced that Lauren saying “Who’s this guy, who’s this guy?” is an homage to Joe Pesci in Casino:

  35. 35
    jewel64
    Posted June 12, 2010 at 2:19 am

    Great recap! Sorry about your Grandma…I lost my Dad on 4/29/10 and my mom in December, 2009. It’s hard to lose your loved ones. Speaking of music…a few days before he died, my father recited words to a song to my niece. It was a song he heard the next door neighbor sing to her critcally ill child. Wish I had heard him reciting that song…I missed seeing him alive by 12 hours. Music indeed has strong emotional powers…

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