I’m STARVING, my gleeloveds, and it’s a rainy cold day here in Los Angeles. Naturally, what do all humans crave on rainy cold days? A hot grilled cheese sandwich, and tomato soup, of course! Best place to get that in LA? Doughboys. It’s called an “After School Special,” and it’s perfection. Their grilled cheese sandwiches though, unlike Finn’s, don’t have the grill marks of Jesus Christ. Which brings us to the cold opener-
Miraculously conceived on a George Forman grill, the Grilled Cheesus answers Finns prayers and McKinley wins it’s first football game. Even with Artie on the team. How? It truly must have been a miracle. They didn’t even show Artie running over anybody with his wheel chair.
Kurt stops by his dad’s work to drop off a healthy version of his lunch. They have a little bit of a tiff over their Friday night family dinner. Kurt would rather go to a sing along and his dad tells him he’s disappointed with tears welling in his eyes… At this point I think I need about 10 MORE hints that something is going on with Burt Hummel and his health.
In the band room, Finn tells the glang he’s found Jesus in his grilled cheesus and he’d like everyone’s homework assignment to something based on the Lord. Kurt (I’m not going to say “of course” because there are a lot of gay Christians out there) has the biggest aversion to the idea, and based on the diversity of the club, they seem to end up settling on “spirituality.” With that, Puck keeps with his Jew streak and sings a shallow version of Billie Joel’s “Only the Good Die Young.” Don’t get me wrong, I like Mark Salling and his character but I can’t get behind his voice. Not enough depth, and I hate to say it, feeling. At least in THIS song. Although I will say the song choice is brilliant. Convincing a Catholic girl to have sex with him? Perfect for Puck. Puckfect.
Kurt is bragging in French about his up-and-coming Friday night when Shue and Emma pull him outta class to take him to the hospital where his father in a coma as a result of a complicated type heart attack.
Finn preys to Grilled Cheesus that he will, at some point soon, get to touch Rachel’s boobs. Why doesn’t he just rub his own? Hey-Oh! That was mean. And not even really that true. I just want you guys to like me, okay?
In glee, everyone is supportive of Kurt, but Finn is hurt that Kurt didn’t tell him before he found out from other people. Mercedes sings Whitney Houston’s “I Look To You,” in hopes of making Kurt feel better but he tells the glang he doesn’t believe in god. Oy Vey, my gleeloveds, like the sandwich that started it all, this ep is getting HEAVY.
Shue is having to defend this weeks “spirituality” lesson in Figgins’ office, but this time Figgins seems to be on Shue’s side instead of Sue’s side… Still not getting any lighter here, y’all.
In Finn’s room, Rachel let’s Finn feel her right boob. Grilled Cheesus has answered his prayers, and why shouldn’t he, Finn only had the breast of intentions. I’ll be here all night, people.
Brittany and “Jugs, the Clown,” Sue’s term of endearment for Santana, give Sue the scoop on Kurt. Next thing you know, Kurt is in Sue’s office and she’s encouraging him to go with her to the school board to call Shue out for singing religious songs. And we also find out that Mary Lou Retton is Sue’s worst enemy. Which sort of makes sense, and is sort of awesome.
Emma catches wind of the Kurt sitch and is outraged at Sue. Sue tells Emma about her sister and her lack of ulterior motive reasoning for helping Kurt. The fine acting and watery eyes of Jane Lynch have me siding with HER. Which isn’t suppose to happen, usually! Which makes this SERIOUS. Not sure I can hold on much longer, guys, this is getting really frickeen heavy.
In the band room, everyone is upset that Kurt is siding with Sue Sylvester cause now they can’t sing spiritual songs.
Can’t. Hold. On. Too. Heavy.
Puck walks in on Finn praying to Grilled Cheesus in the locker room. Finn’s asking Cheesus to make him QB again. Puck acts like a human and says he’s been preying for Kurt’s dad at temple.
Finn and Rachel are outside as she sings “Papa, Can You You Hear Me” from the film Yentl.
And the candle burned for eight days.
Ahhhh. Now THIS is how I like my Rachel Berry. Singin’ Steisand. The song moves them into Burt Hummel’s hospital room and to Kurt’s disapproval it turns out Rachel, Mercedes and Quinn are taking turns praying. Kurt kicks them out and brings in someone for acupuncture.
Once again, Grilled Cheesus answered Finn’s prayers. The new hottie big lipped QB was injured in a rogue play suggested by Finn. The Beiste gave Finn his old position back. Immediately, Finn feels guilty.
In glee, Kurt dedicates The Beatles’ “I Wanna Hold Your Hand” to his dad. Once I got passed the fact that this was originally meant to be a lover’s song, I actually found it beautiful. It sounded absolutely beautiful. A lovely cover, to say the least. And I don’t think there should be anything wrong with a son who wants to hold his dad’s hand. Gay or straight.
Aww, little Kurt does the same thing with his hair as not much bigger Kurt.
Mercedes approaches Kurt at the locker room and finally gets Kurt to open up a bit to his friend’s support. She even talks him into coming to her church that’s going to dedicate a service to Kurt’s dad.
In Emma’s office, Finn confesses to Emma that it’s his fault that Sam was hurt because he’s been praying to Grilled Cheesus. Emma presents more likely scenarios and Finn feels so let down that he sings an angry version of REM’s “Losing My Religion.” I understand Finn’s character is mad but the song actually should be sung with a sense of lost hope. More sad than mad, ya know…? Birschy no likey this one.
At Mercedes’ church, you could pick out Kurt immediately, not only because he is the only white guy in the church but because his hat looked like a dismembered crow.
Kurt’s hat seen an elephant fly.
Along with her church choir, Mercedes sings a gospel version of Simon & Garfunkel’s “Bridge Over Troubled Water” for Kurt and his dad. I loved it. In my opinion, gospel music seems to be one of the most spiritual experiences one can have in a modern day church. (What do I know. I’m technically a Jew, baptized Catholic, raised, if anything, as a Christian, now mostly drawn to Eastern thought.) But here’s where I lost it- when someone held Kurt’s hand…
Oh great, I’ll keep the water works going cause here comes some really sweet moments with Sue and her sister. Sue asks Jeanie if she believes in God and even though I winced at the triteness the question, Jane Lynch played the quick little scene beautifully. She deserves that frickeen Emmy.
At the hospital, Kurt delivers a sort of believable bedside monologue where he tells his dad he may not believe in God, but he believes in his dad. Kurt for Burt, 2010! He gets an encouraging squeeze from his dad and that takes us into Joan Osborne’s “One of Us” sung by the whole glang in the auditorium. Sue walks and and Ol’ Goody Two Shues asks if she’s gonna get him fired. She says, “no.” Finn eats the rest of his old, cold, gross sandwich, and now he shalt have the power of Grilled Cheesus within…
Well, that’s what happened on Glee this week, darlings. Although, moving at times, the whole ep felt heavy handed, and lacked the light heartedness that the show seems to usually keep a good balance of, even when tackling big issues. I wasn’t particularly crazy about any of the sing and dance numbers, either but it did make me cry. But I’m a sap so it doesn’t really count.
It’s still raining. I’m gonna eat my grilled cheese now. The WHOLE thing. Unless there’s a burn mark that looks like Stevie Wonder.
Thanks for sticking with me, my gleeloveds.
Talk at you next week.
yours and everyone else’s,
Glines O’ the Week (Big surprise! Not that many!)
“Whenever I prey, I fall asleep.” Brittany
“I made him a card that said heart attacks are just from loving too much.” Brittany