Glee Project: Acting 101- Don’t Be a Fake Bitch

We’re almost at the end of Gleepro! Only one more ep after this one until the finale! Who will become the next Glee Star? Eh, the only one I’m really rooting for is Gingersnap.

This week’s theme is Believability- “be real.” I don’t know why they just don’t call this week “acting ability,” because that’s what it is. I guess they just really want to stick to one word themes. The HW song is “True Colors” by Cindi Lauper, and they have to sing the whole song instead of just a snippet.

Scarves is back! He went away for a little while but now has returned triumphantly. I was getting worried that all his scarves had been destroyed in a hairspray fire or something.

His neck must have been so cold these past couple of weeks!

Apparently everyone has just realized that they are in a competition, not a slumber party with singing. Hurray for reality show clichés!

This week the Special Guest Star is Jenna Ushkowitz AKA Tina from Glee. She’s from Long Island like me, holla.

I don’t want to be racist, but I haven’t seen her pupils the whole time she’s been on screen.

She tells them that the character she plays is very different from who she is. See Ryan Murphy? Someone doesn’t have to be exactly like their character in order to be good. So cut the crap and start being an actual writer.

Time to grade the performances. This time is a bit different because we only hear a few seconds of their songs, even though they are singing them in their entirety.

Lindsay- Weak in my opinion. Her fake ass smile is actually terrifying. B-

The stuff nightmares are made of. Get out of my head!

Kurtcedes- sounds pretty good. Not as powerful as usual, which makes sense for the song. A-

Gingersnap- one of her better songs I think. She makes the best of what she has and sounds very heartfelt and nice. A

Dreads- his voice sounds really great but his facial expression doesn’t really fit IMO. B+

Celtic Thunder- meh. He gets way less screen time than the others, which leads me to believe he sucked. B-

Jenna likes Kurtcedes’ voice, CT’s heartfelt expression, and Dreads’ intensity. Lindsay says Dreads only has one squinty face that he makes, which is kind of true. But at least he isn’t a hack bitch, so there. Jenna tells Lindsay she’s a great actress (she needs to be to actually act nice), and that Ginger is very joyous (like Santa!).

Ginger wins! That’s my girl. I’m pretty sure she won’t win the whole competition, as Glee already has it’s quota of two fat girls (although I wouldn’t really call Mercedes fat), but it would be nice.

The big song is Paramore’s “The Only Exception.” Casting Guy says it’s about the painful feeling of being in love with someone who doesn’t know you exist. Cue Ginger talking about her unrequited love for CT.

This time, there’ no choreography, only vocals and acting. When they’re talking about who they want to be paired up with, Lindsay says Gingersnap, saying she wouldn’t mind some girl-on-girl action. Well, well, do we see Lindsay’s true colors coming out here?

Bring on the lady lovin’!

CT would also pick Ginger (yay she’s popular) because “he loves her but she doesn’t know he exists.” I don’t know if he’s saying that on purpose, or is actually ridiculously oblivious, but either way, I feel bad for Gingersnap.

Vocals with Nikki.  With Ginger, Nikki she needs to feel more pain. I’m pretty sure Nikki is imagining stabbing her. Kurtcedes pain comes from the fact that his father died when he was young. Oh, shit just got real. He cries, but Nikki no likey that.

Her tear ducts dried up 10 years ago, so he’s bringing back some bad memories for her.

Also, she’s the one rocking the slut hoops this week. It’s nice that Kurtcedes is actually not a diva this week! Finally.

Lindsay cries about being home sick. Wah wah. They say she’s forcing emotional drama, which is so true. Why doesn’t she bring up the adopted thing again? At least that’s something real to work off. Nikki says she’s not real, so maybe this is her week to go home! Fingers crossed. No one cares about her sob story.

Wait, the kid whose father died doesn’t care about your homesickness? What an asshole!

In the video shoot, Dreads is nervous because it’s “his first time really being examined as an actor.” What’s been happening every week?

Here’s the chain of who wants to get with who (in the video that is)- Ginger wants Kurtcedes who wants CT who wants Linz who wants Dreads who wants Ginger! It’s a big ol’ love circle beginning and ending with Gingersnap! In the shoot, Gingersnap can’t stop thinking about CT even though she’s supposed to be crushing on Kurtcedes.

In the one-on-one Jenna told Gingersnap to always sing like it’s her last time. I hope that isn’t foreshadowing for the end of the episode…

Kurtcedes is thinking of dearly departed Daddy for the video, which is kind of a problem considering he’s supposed to be in love, not mourning. But then he gets it and everyone loves him again. Except his Dad. Who is dead.

I told my friend I thought Zach was gay, but she didn’t believe me…or then again, maybe it’s just the ghost of Kurtcedes’ dad haunting them.

CT can’t sit still. There’s a drug for that, it’s called Ritalin. We learn that Zach has amazing control over his eyebrows.

CT’s eyebrows move along to the lyrics. I don’t see it, but they claim it’s so, so it must be true. Lindsay the Great Actor’s performance is flat and emotionless. Just like she is! Her only emotion is bitchiness. I know that’s not an emotion, but just go with me on it.

Realization: This challenge is a copy of the sexuality challenge essentially. They have to pretend they wanna get in someone else’s pants and make it seem real. Although there’s no actual touching this time (sorry Christian Hipsteron! Shoulda stayed another week. Oh wait, no he shouldn’t have).

Last week @Indigo commented that Ginger looks like fat Emma Stone with her hair straight. I totally agree. Rock on Ginger!

I tried to make an “Easy A” joke, but they all came out sounding weird.

When Dreads goes he doesn’t do anything but stare at Linz. I can just imagine him being one of those creepy guys in a mall who just goes to the food court and stares at everyone walking by while eating his free samples of bourbon chicken. I think he came out of the womb staring intensely at the doctor.

Video notes:

-         I think Ginger singing the lyric “when I was younger I saw my daddy cry” is a little bit insensitive to Kurtcedes, no?

-         Ginger sounds super nice!

-         Really? Writing on a notebook? Do guys do that?

I wonder whose job it was to design that notebook…Lindsay probably did it herself, the arrogant ho.

-         Kurtcedes seemed pretty believable

-         Lindsay’s voice is almost identical to Haley Williams of Paramore

-         Ginger is great. Dreads is not. Although she was looking kind of flirty with Dreads, when she was supposed to be hot for Kurtcedes…

I thought they might change up the number of people doing last chance performances, seeing as there’s only 5 of them and it doesn’t really make sense to claim that 3/5 are losers, but no. It’s the same.

Tops for me: Gingersnap and Kurtcedes. Bottom three: Linds, Dreads, and CT.

What? They say Ginger didn’t do well and CT did? What kind of crazy crack are they smoking? Ugh. Nikki says Linz came in emotionally prepared to have a break down because everyone else was. Bingo! She’s just a drama queen that wants to get as much pity and love and hugs as everyone else even if she doesn’t deserve them.

They loved Kurtcedes, so he’s safe. And so is…CT?! I thought they hated his eyebrows. Wow. I can’t believe Ginger is in the bottom.

Thanking the lord of potatoes and beer for his second chance

Lindsay- “Maybe This Time (She won’t be so fake)”- from Cabaret

Dreads- “Animal” by Neon Trees

Gingersnap- “Back to December”- T Swifty

First of all, how the hell can Lindsay call herself a musical theater person and not know “Maybe This Time”?? It’s only, oh I don’t know, one of the most famous songs sung by one of the most iconic Broadway stars, Liza Minelli?! She’s such a poseur and I hate her even more. Plus, it was on Glee! Do your research, people! Also, “Animal” is so perfect for Dreads it’s kind of scary, and the way Ginger cheered for her song was adorable.

Vignette: plucking CT’s nosehairs. They’re really digging deep (pun intended) to come up with entertaining things to distract the audience with. Gingersnap really wants to pluck one. I know her game, she just wants to get as close to his face as possible. All her dreams are coming true.

Ginger’s mind: “I’m going to keep it forever in a shrine in my closet and kiss it every night before bed! That worked for Helga from Hey Arnold, didn’t it?”

Last Chance Performances. I love Ginger, I really do, but her voice is just not on par with the other Gleetestants. That said, it wasn’t terrible. Ryan says that she’s the weaker singer but “she’s the show. She’s the person people want to see win.” He’s definitely alluding to her weight here, but I think people want to see her win because she’s actually a sweet person.

Fake Lindsay’s turn. After hearing Liza, Kristen Chenoweth, and others sing this song, Lindsay’s performance is just boring. It’s true she has the traditional Broadway voice, but she didn’t embellish at all and I didn’t feel anything from her. Go home! Well actually, it gets a bit more interesting towards the end. But then she does a slow booty drop and rise up and I get sick.

Stop reminding me that you aren’t Bootylicious and never will be!

Ryan doesn’t root for her. He asks if she’s an underdog, and I say NO. But why he is he acting like you have to have a shitty life or be an outcast to be on Glee? Most (not all, though) of the current actors were successful people living normal lives. Making people want to root for you is the job of an actor, to ACT the part of an underdog. I actually like Ryan doesn’t understand what acting is. It’s just more Dickhead Ryan BS.

It’s the first time last chance for Dreads. Honestly I expected a lot more from him. I guess it’s because I’m so used to Neon Trees singing it (I’ve met them twice by the way, they’re very nice) but it just sounds wrong. He has great stage presence, though. He could definitely be the front man of a rock band. Ryan says he was the most unrelatable, and that he should have been more vulnerable. How do you be vulnerable and emotional while singing an upbeat rock song like that? That’s the song choice, not his fault. He performed it as it should be performed. I shake my fist at you, producers!

Now Ryan pulls out the “Christian character” card again, because Dreads says his family is very Christian and wouldn’t want him to be gay. I’m not even going to go there. I thought we’d seen the last of this when Hipsteron left. Oh, and the back of Dreads’ neck says Jesus Chris. But it’s not like anyone would ever see it, due to the dreads. At the end of the day Ryan says it comes down to who is the most talented.

I have a sinking feeling that Ginger is going home. This was Dreads’ first time in the bottom, and Lindsay has to stick around to be the leading girl.

And…I knew it! Ginger’s out. Damn it! She’s the only contestant that I can say I truly liked. She was just so fun and nice. This makes little sense to me, seeing as this was the acting week and they said repeatedly what a great actor Ginger is. Although I really knew she wouldn’t win. Even Glee can’t have too many fat girls.

Her exit song sounded great. Although it definitely sounded like more than 4 people were singing the background vocals. Were they, *gasp*, prerecorded?

You will be missed, fair Gingersnap! So after this next episode, it’s the finale! Crazy. I’m still leaning towards Dreads to win it all. What do you think? Did Ginger deserve to go home? Did she have any chance of winning anyway? Is Lindsay not one of the fakest, most obnoxious people EVA? Comment away!

<3 L-Money