Glee Project Recap: I am a Terrible Person

The Glee Project

By L-Money | Sunday, June 10, 2012 | 6:40 pm | 16 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Recaps, The Glee Project

The Glee Project! Or as I like to call it, GleePro. It’s about a bunch of wannabe Gleeks singing their hearts out to try for a guest-starring role on the show as a werewolf with a lovely alto or a socially awkward opera star or a sexually confused musical mermaid, or something. Does anyone really know what Glee is about anymore?

In any case, this show is pretty entertaining, more so than Glee, anyway. Drama kids are cray cray!

I didn’t watch the audition episode, so please let me know if I missed anything vital about any of the kids. Also you should know I hate Ryan Murphy. He’s a dick, as I’m sure we’ll see soon.

Just a disclaimer: I’m about to make fun of EVERYONE in these recaps. Race, religion, disability, all are fair game. Just know that I don’t mean to be offensive to anyone, everything is in good fun. If anyone is bothered by my comments, sorry, but that’s how we roll on  the ‘Gasm. 

That said, here’s GleePro season 2 episode 1!

First off we meet Dani. She is the second coming of Justin Bieber (although no one wanted his first coming except Selena Gomez, hay-oh!), but as a lesbian. I wonder if she’s been featured on the Lesbians Who Look Like Justin Bieber tumblr. She has his old, classic hairstyle though, not the douchey faux hawk pompadour. She is a girl, right? Even her name is androgynous. I’m just going to call her D. Biebs until I (or you) think of something more clever.

Charlie is a beanie-wearing “cool guy.” Abraham is our token Asian this season. Can anyone say Mike Chang’s replacement?

This season’s blonde bimbo is Ali, and she’s in a wheelchair. Say hello to the new Artie. Wow, Ryan Murphy is really not being coy about filling in the wholes the other characters left. Lily is the chubby girl.

My ears already hurt, and no one has even sang yet, because whenever a new person enters the room they all scream and jump up and hug each other like they’re seeing their best friend after five years apart. It’s freaking annoying. Peppy little bastards. I know I’m being crotchety, sorry all.

Mario is blind. I want to call him The Blind Side, for obvious reasons. Is that terible? It seems like they’re just picking misfits for the hell of it now.

Come on, don’t tell me you don’t see it (athough Mario sure doesn’t! That’s it, I’m going to hell).

Wheelchair Barbie is nice enough to tell us about her fellow weirdos. Tyler is transgendered (he used to be a girl, now he’s rocking the peen). Maxfield just started singing six months ago. But he’s a country singer, so six months is more than enough time to be good at it.

There’s Taryn, who has an interesting mixed race look and really big eyes. Aylin looks like the unfortunate evil spawn of a fly and Teresa from RHONJ. She’s happy there are lots of hot guys in the cast because she’s ready to get down and dirty. She’s also from a devout Muslim family.

Nellie doesn’t seem to have full control over her mouth movements. She looks like Ellis from last season plus a few years. I’m always going to think of her as Ellis now, so I’m going to call her Nellis.

Anyone else agree with me on this one?

Robert the casting director comes by to tell everyone this weeks’ theme- individuality. Michael is cute. He’s not looking forward to this week’s lesson as he’s plain and boring. But he’ll get by on his looks.

The song for the HW assignment is Gaga’s “Born this Way”, which is kind of ironic for Tyler, no?

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L-Money
About

Leah Michaels aka L-Money was deprived of cable TV as a child, so of course now she is obsessed with all things television. Hailing from Long Island, NY, she is currently a media studies major at Brown University. Besides sitting in front of the TV for hours, hobbies include video games, playing music, snowboarding, and being a DJ on the local alternative rock radio station. If you ever want to gush about the genius of Joss Whedon, discuss what kind of crack the Project Runway judges are smoking, drool over the food on Iron Chef, or sing show tunes, L-Money's your girl. Although she's young,  she feels she'll fit right in, as she's been making fun of people since she was eight years old (she was a precocious 2nd grader). Also, she loves cats. Like, a lot. She'll probably be a crazy cat lady when she's older, and she's OK with that. 

16 Comments

  1. 1
    Jane and Blanche Jane and Blanche
    Posted June 10, 2012 at 7:22 pm

    L-money, you are our new hilarious hero! Can’t wait to hang with you in hell cuz we agree with everything you wrote! Can’t wait for your next recap.

    PS. The Beibs look alike and the Beibs both like girls, does that make them both lesbians?

  2. 2
    KartofflMuter
    Posted June 10, 2012 at 8:36 pm

    The Biebs girl was on season 6 of AGT. She sang an original song about her difficulty in the music when she meets people and they mistake her for-you know who,since she wore the clothes and the hairstyle first. She didn’t go too many rounds further because she wanted to sing her own songs,not someone else’s.

  3. 3
    sagittariuskim sagittariuskim
    Posted June 10, 2012 at 8:51 pm

    Nikki really surprised me when she said Shanna high note was good because the look on her face something else. I think she started pretty good but she cracked on the end. Which is kind of funny since she was so confident during her rehearsal with Lea Michele.

    I don’t really like anybody yet. I agree that Aylin with what you said about Aylin. How is playing rock, paper ,scissors to choose song parts “playing nice”? It seems best way to get it done instead of wasting practice while everybody argued over parts.

    I think Tyler was a whiny complainer and I get the feeling he’s just going to get worse.

  4. 4
    itchy itchy
    Posted June 10, 2012 at 11:42 pm

    There’s something weird about the Robert dude’s hair. Is it a toupee?

    You owe it to yourself to watch the audition episode, because it becomes even more obvious that this show has gone off the deep end — they really should call this the Freak Project, because that is what is has become.

    Thankfully, they didn’t keep some of the more horrid specimens. But still. They went out of their way not to cast any hot girls — they’re probably still stinging from my grumbling over cutting the cute redhead from last season, when she was clearly the only one of the bunch with any star potential.

    I don’t get the obsession with misfits when, let’s face it, most of the cast of Glee are all wholesome, overly good-looking 30-somethings. The one real exception to that is the Mercedes character, but she has the best voice of the bunch. The one character in the wheelchair they have is played by an actor who doesn’t need one (although he does have the additional handicap of being a nerd with a rap fetish, or a rapper trapped in a nerd’s wardrobe. Do they hormones for that?).

    So far, I haven’t seen much vocal talent from any of this cast. And that supposed glory note from the chubby blonde? I thought she had a cat stuck in her throat. Speaking…what is it with all the chubby, if not fat girls? The fake muslim, is another one. The skinny girls are either too masculine or too…Nellissy. What? There are no hot singers with sad backstories anymore? What the fuck is wrong with America these days?

    Oh, and the Tyler kid most likely doesn’t have a penis. Yet.

  5. 5
    chaosbutterfly
    Posted June 11, 2012 at 12:10 am

    Yess Dani was on AGT. I didn’t like her then, and I don’t like her now.

    Shanna is so strange to look at. My sisters and I spent the whole episode trying to figure out what she looked like and it wasn’t until the end that we were able to reach the consensus that she resembled a cross between a pig and a guppy. Her exaggerated facial expressions and relentless pep also got on my nerves, so I can’t wait to see her get knocked down a peg or two going forward. And fuck what Nikki has to say about her, honestly, because she was singing the same song when it came to Lindsay last season and we all know how that turned out. It’s great to see Zach again though. I missed his bitch self, and his note to Maxfield during the filming of the choreography was so rude, but it gave me life.

    Aylin gets on my last nerve. I also don’t think her family is as Muslim as she’s saying that they are. They’re probably old-fashioned, but they can’t be as strict or devout as she’s saying, judging from her dress and the fact that she’s auditioning for a show like Glee at all. And then in the previews it looks like she gets something going with that ADHD with a touch of autism boy, and if her family was as strict as all that, I don’t think she’d dare do all that on national television.
    Also, she’s not nearly cute enough to be this hypersexual flirtatious minx that she’s trying to portray, so I’m gonna need her to have an entire stadium of seats and to sit all the way down in every last one of them.

    Lilly is not chubby. I thought she was too at first just from her face, but then she stood up.

    Tyler is going to be the Matheus of this season. I wish he had gone home, because I don’t want to hear all this “woe is me I’m changing genders” story constantly. I know it’s hard, but suck it up boo, because nobody has time for alladat.
    I would have rather they kept Maxfield. He was boring as hell, but cute and he sure could sing better.

  6. 6
    snowshoecat snowshoecat
    Posted June 11, 2012 at 5:12 am

    As a long time Dylan fan, I thank you.

    Back to reading. Yay!

  7. 7
    S-Natch S-Natch
    Posted June 11, 2012 at 5:55 am

    @L-Money – I’m see you and the sisters in hell as well, because that shit was FUNNY! Well done. I think they altered the LSFYL in post-production, as well. I also thought the ‘homework’ was altered. That seems different from last season and not totally fair to the audience. Murphy obviously thinks we are all morons – quelle surprise.

    I think Shanna could play Becky’s younger sister. I don’t like anyone except BS yet, either, though Math Geek is pretty darn cute – he’ll stick around in the middle of the pack long enough to provide eye candy for a few weeks. In the audition episode Lily showed herself as a true bitch – Fat Lindsey.

  8. 8
    Pegalicious
    Posted June 11, 2012 at 6:50 am

    I was flabbergasted when Nikki Anders waxed poetic over Shanna’s off-key yowling of her big note while in the sound booth — and I was almost as amazed when Shanna sounded pret’ good in the playback. Clearly they’re playing games with the voices, so I guess “good singer” isn’t really on the list as a qualification for this show.

    Last year I didn’t care for either of the winners, and the only contestant I’m really rooting for this year is Blind Side (which may, alas, be the death knell on his chances to win).

    As a glutton for punishment who’s perfectly willing to suspend disbelief, though, I’ll continue to tune in. Since misery loves company, I’m glad you’re recapping it, L-Money!

  9. 9
    onehundredyearsofcholera onehundredyearsofcholera
    Posted June 11, 2012 at 7:04 am

    I think I got the wrong reference but I now I cant get the SClub7 song outta my head.
    Don’t stop, never give up.. Oh well, back to the recap.

  10. 10
    snowshoecat snowshoecat
    Posted June 11, 2012 at 8:12 am

    Well, S-Natch and L-Money, hell is where all the fun is anyway. We’d be lonely in heaven.

  11. 11
    itchy itchy
    Posted June 11, 2012 at 8:42 am

    There was a moment there, just as they finished the first group sing, where we had a sideview of Lily striking a pose. Look like she’d swallowed the midget guy from last season.

  12. 12
    L-Money L-Money
    Posted June 11, 2012 at 11:07 am

    Thanks for the info about Dani on AGT. She does seem to have singing talent, but if she’s tired of being told she looks like a Bieber clone then she should stop dressing like him and wearing his hairstyle. Sorry if she had it first, but that’s the way it happens sometimes.

    Glad to know I’ll have some company in Hell, we can crap on all the other dowdy sinners together.

    @Onehundredyearsofcholera- thanks for understanding the S Club reference! I had an unhealthy obsession with S Club when I was younger.

  13. 13
    Sam
    Posted June 11, 2012 at 3:50 pm

    All the girls this year are ugly and annoying. I find it hard to believe that out of all the people that auditoned they ended up with those 7. Sorta like blindside and the math geek is cute so he can stay for a few more episodes. I can tell beanie boy and both barbies will be hella annoying this season. Aylin is so far from pretty im not sure where her confidence is coming from and tyler is uninteresting and cant sing for shit. I do love this show, my fav summer show but god ryan picked some terrible ppl. Glee would be a better show if they fired that asshole

  14. 14
    itchy itchy
    Posted June 11, 2012 at 11:58 pm

    Especially since we already know Ryan will pick one of the young hot guys as the winner anyway.

  15. 15
    snowshoecat snowshoecat
    Posted June 12, 2012 at 5:00 am

    The picture of Dani bothered me. Even more than the Beebs, she looks like tv pioneer icon Howdy Doody, a staple od kiddie shows in the 1950′s.

    http://www.skypoint.com/members/schutz19/doody.htm

    Not a good look.

  16. 16
    April
    Posted July 10, 2012 at 6:29 pm

    Just started watching this show. One of the guys with the dark hair looks like Taylor Lautner a bit so I want him to win. It is like several cute guys but no cute girls. What gives? Tyler should have gone home, He is incredibly annoying.

    Love the recap and you had me and my husband LOLing. Blind Side, I take my hat off to you!

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