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Sunday, June 17, 2012
12:21 pm
13 Comments
Tagged: dancing failures, funny, glee project, hilarious, L-money, lame house parties, oxygen, recap, secret Canadians, slutty muslims, TV, tvgasm
This week on GleePro, it’s danceability week bitches! The announcer says that they have pretty girls in small, medium, and large. Well they got the sizes right at least. They also address D. Biebs’ Justin Bieber-ness, and say that they have hot guys who are still unique. Who are they kidding? Those guys are more generic than Stop and Shop brand cola.
Aylin tells us that she wants to work on her confidence, meaning her ability to ensnare men. D. Biebs is worried that she is more of a coffee house performer than a drama-type. Uh oh, this sounds like set up…Also, in case you guys didn’t know or didn’t read the comments from the last recap, D. Biebs was on America’s Got Talent season 6. Thanks for the info, commenters!
The HW song is “We Got the Beat” by the GoGos.
Blind Side and Wheelchair Barbie battle it out over a certain line. Honestly, who cares about this shit? Not me.
Taryn hates working with other people. I feel that, gurl. I hate group projects and collaborations give me hives. If I’m doing something, I want it done my way dammit! She’s already having doubts about whether or not she wants to stay in the competition. This girl is not going to last if she can’t take the heat after one week.
Wait, WTF??? Robert comes in to tell everyone that Taryn has left the competition! That pisses me off so much. Why would you take an opportunity from someone else who really wants to be on the show? Fuck that so much. Shanna takes on her line in the song.
We hardly knew you. Therefore we don’t care about you.
Special guest this week is— last season’s winner Samuel Larsen AKA Joe the Hippie Jesus Freak whose biggest plot point on the show was getting a boner on Dianna Agron’s leg. Aylin freaks out cuz she wants to get up on him, just like she does every other guy in this competition.
HW Grades
Nellis- just doing too much vocally and throwing herself all over the place. C
Tyler- he’s ok I guess, but his voice is off putting. It sounds like a 13 year old trying to sound grown up. B-
Shanna- fine. B
Blind Side- I guess he doesn’t know, seeing how he can’t see, but that bright yellow shirt and black pants are not a good combo for him. Oh his performance? Whatever. He always looks out of place and awkward. B
It looks like the other guys are in pain from being so close to his outfit
Generic Hottie 1 (Blake)- good. He makes it pretty unique, and has a nice falsetto B+
Generic Hottie 2 (??? What is his name?)- eh. Still totally unmemorable. And the air guitar move is frankly embarrassing. C-
Aylin- she’s trying so hard to be sexy, but when you look like a Guidette bug it falls flat. C
Lily- her motions are too big. Especially because she’s big. And when she pushes Blake it looks like it seriously hurts him. C+
D. Biebs- her voice is quite good. Not much dancing to speak of, though. B
Abe- the Michael Jackson crotch grab? Really? I hate all his moves, they just seem too planned out and unoriginal C-
Charlie- nothing special. He’s not even cute enough to be a Generic Hottie. C
Wheelchair Barbie- she WAILS on her high note. It’s kind of ridiculous that they gave her the “round and around” line, though. And isn’t it unfair to put her in the same category as everyone else in a dancing challenge? A-
The choreography they chose seems to be everyone kind of bouncing back and forth. Except Wheelchair Barbie, who couldn’t bounce if they put her on a trampoline.
Robert tells them it was the best HW performance ever. I mean, I guess the energy was good but the individual performances were not stand-out at all. Whatever Robert, it’s your show, not mine (my show would have less singing and more cage fighting).
13 Comments
Taryn left because there were two deaths in her family. She didn’t just “miss her mom”.
And Aylin is just ridiculous, I can’t wait to see her leave.
I like Nellis and Generic hottie 2 because they havent annoyed me yet, maybe it is due to their lack of screen time. I do not like charlie he is not interesting and mildly talented. No point to him being on the show. I read taryn left because two people in her family died that week (grandma and close cousin) i think the show made it out to look like she just didnt want to be there so they dont have to deal with it. For someone with an OK voice lily is pretty cocky and i just dont enjoy watching her. Even though i had issues with lindsey last year it was fun to make fun of her and she was talented. With lily i just want her gone asap.
I miss Hannah, too! Bring her back as a mentor. “How to have personality and not be bland”, that’ll be the lesson of the week.
Thank goodness next week is Vulnerability–looks like some of them get into fights? Well, are acting but it gets a little too real? Huh.
But this episode blew monkeys, it really did. Nothing could salvage it. Except maybe Zach Woodlee.
@Sam- if that’s true about Taryn, then I kind of feel bad for calling her out haha. But only a little bit.. And I didn’t like Lily until her Last Chance Performance. I thought she was entertaining and really turned it out, and managed to be sexy and flirty without being obnoxious like you-know-who. So I’m on the fence with Lily.
@Meghan- this episode was not good, you’re right. When the only drama is who Aylin is going to make out with next, you know you’ve got a problem.
For a nickname for Aylin, you could try the Slutan. Kinda a combination of sultan and slut.
There’s always Islut for Aylin, since she’s Islamic. But then it sounds more as if she’s been pimping out Apple products…
I call Aylin “Magic Carpet.” Like, her magic carpet flies from one land to another. HAHA.
Great recap. I loooooooved D.Biebs closing number. I think theyre right tho, she isn’t a “performer” performer.
Magic Carpet wins!
Lily’s not really fat? Wow. Values are changing quickly in the good ol’ United States of Porkers. The worst part is, it’s pretty obvious she really would be quite pretty if she dropped the weight. My guess is her stanky attitude is a big part of that. Also, for someone who supposedly had vocal training, she has a tin ear. (I was, however, grateful she wore those super-strength spanx during her callback. I was petrified she’d flash the camera. Shudder.) Next!
Nellis looks really strange — except when she’s singing. And then she actually looks pretty good. Weird.
The Abe clown is the worst. Kid can’t act for shit. Even when he’s not supposed to be — does anyone buy for one moment his whole humble who-me? schtick? And I wouldn’t worry about him being competition for Mike Change — he’d need to work for years to control his lisp. And the little head waggle thing he does.
Tyler is awful. He’s only on the show for the freak factor. He’s untalented and will never be. And to think they picked him over people with real talent?
Arg. Here’s my theory: Last year, too many people were saying that GP is better than Glee itself. So this year they made sure damn sure that won’t happen.
@itchy sadly i think glee project is still a better show than glee which is not saying much about the glee project this year. Last year was so good and such a breath of fresh air they couldnt top it this year even if they tried.
@onehundredyearsofcholera- Magic Carpet made me LOL so hard. I think that’s the winner!
@Itchy- I kept trying to figure out what Lily was wearing under her dress! So it was Spanx? That explains a lot.
@itchy, I feel the same way about Lily. She is really fat , but also really pretty. I think she’s pretty now though…losing weight would bring it out more, but you can see it already.
That video was indeed the worst ever made in glee pro history. When Blake and Michael (just learned his name thanks to this recap) are the best and most memorable in the video, you know there’s a problem. I laughed so hard that they did the kid n play though.
And party rock anthem was a poor choice of a song. It’s definitely not meant to be sung clearly, so that every word is enunciated. I used to play that song almost every morning while I got dressed and play it all the time on just dance 3 and I never realized how nonsensical the words were until this episode. What the fuck is an opadoe?
I’m glad that biebs is gone though. I didn’t think she was that a good singer and her keep holding on thing made me wince a couple of times. Tyler’s last chance performance was better than her’s, which is again, a serious problem.
OMG I’m on a roll! Last week was the SClub ref, and this week, this! Yay gasmi!
We call Aylin Ugly Turkey Girl or Slutty Turkey. Either one works fine