Glee Project Recap: The Best Little Whore in Turkey

The Glee Project

By L-Money | Sunday, June 17, 2012 | 12:21 pm | 13 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Recaps, The Glee Project

Notes: Tyler- own it more, even if you have no idea what you’re doing. Aylin was cute. Abe was dancing with his face as well. Shanna has sensuality.

And the winner is…Abraham. Damn I hate his dancing I think it’s way too much. But come one, how obvious that he’s just a lesser version of Harry Shum Jr. AKA Mike Chang? If he wins the show I bet he’ll be a counter love interest for Tina.

The group number is “Party Rock Anthem” by LMFAO, with a house party as the concept (soooo original). Like we haven’t heard enough of that song this past year. Blind Side is very excited. Sam says skidoosh as he leaves, harkening back to Hannah <3 from last season. Man, I miss her. She had more personality than every one of this season’s contenders combined. Lily, learn from her! You have to continue the chubby girl legacy!

They are going to play Spin the Bottle. Of course Aylin is excited about it, that big ol’ Muslim SLUT. Her mom doesn’t know that she’s secretly a ho-bag, but she sure does now! I’d be surprised if Aylin is allowed out of the house ever again.

In choreo, Zach tells them not to do wedding dance embarrassing shit, like disco moves and party boy and the car wash. How many do you wanna bet will do just that? In the one on one session (what does Sam know about dancing anyway? His character on the show probably thinks dancing is a sin), he tells Abe just to have fun. Wise, wise words.

Lily has weird funny dance moves. She’s not really fat, but compared to everyone else on the show, she’s clearly the chubette. At least she may have a big personality to go along with it.

D. Biebs is overwhelmed by the dance moves. We hear more whining from Tyler about how he can’t dance because of his hormone therapy. How many times can you repeat the same thing and expect anyone to care?

Vocals with Nikki

This song is not really not very hard vocally. Half of it is autotuned in the original, anyway. We learn that ADHD Charlie has a crush on Aylin, and they flirt all the time. She claims that she didn’t come to the show for romance, and I spit out my margarita (yeah I’m a few drinks in. It makes this show WAY better). I haven’t heard a bigger lie since Snooki claimed she knows how to read.

Lily tells us that she’s the one who threw the parties in high school (over compensation, much?), so she’s excited for this. Unfortunately her session sucks. She’s trying way too hard. She says she has had a lot of classic vocal training, but it doesn’t help her here. Bitch Lindsay from last season was the “classically trained” one, and everyone hated her, so watch out with what you say there, Lil.

Nellis isn’t too excited about spin the bottle, for some reason, but Charlie wants to be in real bad, so he can suck face with Aylin, obviously. He’s pretty pissed that she’ll be macking on other guys. And during STB, Aylin and Generic Hottie Blake are going at it! Abe says, “OMG are you sucking his soul out?” Oh no, don’t start a new rumor about Muslim people. Next on Fox News- Muslims: Sucking the Soul out of America.

Charlie’s face is priceless during this.

The face of rejection

Everyone calls her a slut, and Charlie is obviously hurt. So then, of course, Aylin starts making out with him! WTF is going on with this show? It’s turning into Bachelor Pad, but with unattractive people! Can someone please help me come up with a nickname for Aylin that somehow encompasses Muslim and sluttiness? All I’ve got right now is the Sultan of Slut.

During the shoot, Abe is thinking too much about his dancing, and Tyler hasn’t relaxed yet. Abe is a good dancer, but he overdoes it. The dancing overall is a HOT MESS. Zach says, “wow they know nothing. That was absolutely horrible. It’s like everyone got amnesia at the same time. Standing would be better.” I love him so much. But honestly, it looks like they’ve all been secretly boozing backstage.

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L-Money
About

Leah Michaels aka L-Money was deprived of cable TV as a child, so of course now she is obsessed with all things television. Hailing from Long Island, NY, she is currently a media studies major at Brown University. Besides sitting in front of the TV for hours, hobbies include video games, playing music, snowboarding, and being a DJ on the local alternative rock radio station. If you ever want to gush about the genius of Joss Whedon, discuss what kind of crack the Project Runway judges are smoking, drool over the food on Iron Chef, or sing show tunes, L-Money's your girl. Although she's young,  she feels she'll fit right in, as she's been making fun of people since she was eight years old (she was a precocious 2nd grader). Also, she loves cats. Like, a lot. She'll probably be a crazy cat lady when she's older, and she's OK with that. 

13 Comments

  1. 1
    Laura
    Posted June 17, 2012 at 1:59 pm

    Taryn left because there were two deaths in her family. She didn’t just “miss her mom”.

    And Aylin is just ridiculous, I can’t wait to see her leave.

  2. 2
    Sam
    Posted June 17, 2012 at 2:31 pm

    I like Nellis and Generic hottie 2 because they havent annoyed me yet, maybe it is due to their lack of screen time. I do not like charlie he is not interesting and mildly talented. No point to him being on the show. I read taryn left because two people in her family died that week (grandma and close cousin) i think the show made it out to look like she just didnt want to be there so they dont have to deal with it. For someone with an OK voice lily is pretty cocky and i just dont enjoy watching her. Even though i had issues with lindsey last year it was fun to make fun of her and she was talented. With lily i just want her gone asap.

  3. 3
    Meaghan
    Posted June 17, 2012 at 4:21 pm

    I miss Hannah, too! Bring her back as a mentor. “How to have personality and not be bland”, that’ll be the lesson of the week.

    Thank goodness next week is Vulnerability–looks like some of them get into fights? Well, are acting but it gets a little too real? Huh.

    But this episode blew monkeys, it really did. Nothing could salvage it. Except maybe Zach Woodlee.

  4. 4
    L-Money L-Money
    Posted June 17, 2012 at 4:45 pm

    @Sam- if that’s true about Taryn, then I kind of feel bad for calling her out haha. But only a little bit.. And I didn’t like Lily until her Last Chance Performance. I thought she was entertaining and really turned it out, and managed to be sexy and flirty without being obnoxious like you-know-who. So I’m on the fence with Lily.

    @Meghan- this episode was not good, you’re right. When the only drama is who Aylin is going to make out with next, you know you’ve got a problem.

  5. 5
    Karla
    Posted June 17, 2012 at 7:09 pm

    For a nickname for Aylin, you could try the Slutan. Kinda a combination of sultan and slut.

  6. 6
    isthathissister
    Posted June 18, 2012 at 12:04 am

    There’s always Islut for Aylin, since she’s Islamic. But then it sounds more as if she’s been pimping out Apple products…

  7. 7
    onehundredyearsofcholera onehundredyearsofcholera
    Posted June 18, 2012 at 3:44 am

    I call Aylin “Magic Carpet.” Like, her magic carpet flies from one land to another. HAHA.

    Great recap. I loooooooved D.Biebs closing number. I think theyre right tho, she isn’t a “performer” performer.

  8. 8
    itchy itchy
    Posted June 18, 2012 at 5:39 am

    Magic Carpet wins!

    Lily’s not really fat? Wow. Values are changing quickly in the good ol’ United States of Porkers. The worst part is, it’s pretty obvious she really would be quite pretty if she dropped the weight. My guess is her stanky attitude is a big part of that. Also, for someone who supposedly had vocal training, she has a tin ear. (I was, however, grateful she wore those super-strength spanx during her callback. I was petrified she’d flash the camera. Shudder.) Next!

    Nellis looks really strange — except when she’s singing. And then she actually looks pretty good. Weird.

    The Abe clown is the worst. Kid can’t act for shit. Even when he’s not supposed to be — does anyone buy for one moment his whole humble who-me? schtick? And I wouldn’t worry about him being competition for Mike Change — he’d need to work for years to control his lisp. And the little head waggle thing he does.

    Tyler is awful. He’s only on the show for the freak factor. He’s untalented and will never be. And to think they picked him over people with real talent?

    Arg. Here’s my theory: Last year, too many people were saying that GP is better than Glee itself. So this year they made sure damn sure that won’t happen.

  9. 9
    Ally
    Posted June 18, 2012 at 7:23 am

    @itchy sadly i think glee project is still a better show than glee which is not saying much about the glee project this year. Last year was so good and such a breath of fresh air they couldnt top it this year even if they tried.

  10. 10
    L-Money L-Money
    Posted June 18, 2012 at 7:28 am

    @onehundredyearsofcholera- Magic Carpet made me LOL so hard. I think that’s the winner!

    @Itchy- I kept trying to figure out what Lily was wearing under her dress! So it was Spanx? That explains a lot.

  11. 11
    chaosbutterfly
    Posted June 18, 2012 at 4:46 pm

    @itchy, I feel the same way about Lily. She is really fat , but also really pretty. I think she’s pretty now though…losing weight would bring it out more, but you can see it already.

    That video was indeed the worst ever made in glee pro history. When Blake and Michael (just learned his name thanks to this recap) are the best and most memorable in the video, you know there’s a problem. I laughed so hard that they did the kid n play though.

    And party rock anthem was a poor choice of a song. It’s definitely not meant to be sung clearly, so that every word is enunciated. I used to play that song almost every morning while I got dressed and play it all the time on just dance 3 and I never realized how nonsensical the words were until this episode. What the fuck is an opadoe?

    I’m glad that biebs is gone though. I didn’t think she was that a good singer and her keep holding on thing made me wince a couple of times. Tyler’s last chance performance was better than her’s, which is again, a serious problem.

  12. 12
    onehundredyearsofcholera onehundredyearsofcholera
    Posted June 18, 2012 at 6:59 pm

    OMG I’m on a roll! Last week was the SClub ref, and this week, this! Yay gasmi!

  13. 13
    DoYouReallyWannaKnow
    Posted June 29, 2012 at 4:08 pm

    We call Aylin Ugly Turkey Girl or Slutty Turkey. Either one works fine :)

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