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I’m back after a week of no GleePro! I was so sad when I realized last week there was no episode. I need this show to get my Glee fill over the summer. I also missed hating on Lindsay. Seriously, I can’t stand her.
This week’s episode is sure to be hilarious, as it’s all about:
If this show wasn’t on Lifetime, they’d all be saying “Oh FUCK” right about now
Gingersnap knows that she’s screwed. BTW Erin, I liked your suggestion of Big Red, but if I called her that I would think of Bring It On every time, and Gingersnap and that movie definitely don’t go together.
The kiddies have to choreograph their own moves as well. I’m a crappy dancer, so I’d probably be doing the carwash and the peace-signs over my eyes dances, so I sympathize with them. Oh, I can do the Cotton Eyed Joe, too.
Alex claims he is the best dancer out of all of them. Not from what I’ve seen, but then again, he hasn’t been a featured dancer yet. Oh, Hipsteron just claimed he has no sense of rhythm. From what I’ve seen, that isn’t true, but whatevs.
I don’t know if this was fake or not, but the kids seem genuinely in the dark about who the special guest star will be. Because it’s not going to be the one character on Glee who ONLY DANCES and does nothing else, will it? …Of course it is. It’s Harry Shum Jr., who plays Mike Chang! Who I love, also. His abs are delicious.
I want to eat tiny finger sandwiches off your stomach
Let’s grade the homework assignment!
Matty- tries to do too much in a short time. He’s also picked up CT’s bad gyrating and thrusting habits. B-
Dreads- not too complicated, and very smooth. A
CT- boring dance and didn’t sing his part very well at all. C+
Hipsteron- collides with CT when the song lyrics says “collided.” It’s cute. He’s good other than that, also. A
Move bitch, get out the way!
Boring Marissa- puts every bad 80’s dance move into one hideous moment. I think the leg warmers took over her brain. Her singing is nice, though. C+
She’d get shot in the hood for doing that “represent” thing
Mickey- basically goes with jazz hands. I like the spin she puts on the song, though. B+
Gingersnap- wisely decides to go with the classic finger wagging and pointing. Smart considering she would suck at anything else. B
Alex- really? From ballet spins to the party boy? Ok…B-
Lindsay- skanks like the skank she is. B
Harry says Hipsteron is very unique but needs to tone it down in a group situation. Mickey wasn’t memorable. Alex didn’t keep it appropriate to the song. Dreads was cool and really sold it. Matty made him smile and seemed like he had a dance background. And Dreads wins it! I agree, he is definitely a confident and cool dancer.
Finally, some recognition for something other than my nasty ass hair and pink pants!
Alex is shocked that Dreads won because he is “not a dancer.” Clearly you’re wrong about that, honey. You just think you should’ve won with your ballerina shit. Just cuz you’re gay doesn’t mean you have to do ballet. Perpetuate some stereotypes why don’t you?
So this week, instead of singing, the big group number will see everyone…rapping. That’s right, they’re doing MC Hammer’s classic “Can’t Touch This.” I can’t tell if I’m dreading this for the ridiculousness of it or looking forward to it for the same reason.
Back in the dorm, Alex claims he “didn’t have the mindset to win (the challenge) and didn’t want to win.” Way to make it seem like the only reason Dreads won was because he let him. I don’t like that, it’s petty and mean.
His inflated big head doesn’t even fit on the screen
Vocals with Nikki! Oh joy. Lindsay isn’t singing this time, so maybe Nikki won’t be worshipping the ground she walks on. Gingersnap is excited because she apparently has rapped before. The only thing worse than white wannabe rappers are ginger wannabe rappers. She says people call her MC Hannah, which is kind of funny, and her rapping style is called the “skidoosh.” Ska-douche? Hm.
She actually kind of rocks it. Matty overdoes it with what I assume is his “gangsta” accent. CT growls instead of talking like it’s a conversation. I thought Mickey was pretty good, considering she had a hard and fast line, but Nikki thought she had a hard time with the delivery.
Because Dreads won before, he gets a part in the song where he gets to do rap ad-libs. Is it just me, or does that seem more like a punishment? I don’t want to have to make up my own rap lyrics! And I guess he doesn’t either, because he totally steals Gingersnap’s SkaDoosh thing! And Dumb Ass Nikki calls it so000 individual. Dreads can only meekly go “yeah…” Of course Gingersnap is pissed about it, as she should be. Everyone has become a cocky bastard in this ep!
CT can’t dance, and he knows it. He looks like a drunkard with a balance problem walking on a floor made of Jello, which is hilarious, but bad for his chances.
Then again, he is from Ireland, so this kind of drunken movement is probably normal there
Choreographer Zach trusts Alex to teach some of the dancing failures the moves. Which will only make his big head even bigger. Sigh…
In the shoot, Alex is lackluster, Hipsteron is uncomfortable, and Matty is a divo.
- This is fucking scary
- Hannah is actually pretty good in the video. She’s funny (especially when she does the worm)
- For some reason this reminds me of those Kidz Bop commercials
Isn’t Glee kind of the grown-up version of Kidz Bop? #revelations
- I hate to admit, Lindsay is a good dancer and she expressed a lot in her face as well
- Mickey was boring
What is with these fugly glasses? One pair of hipster glasses is already too much.
- Boring Marissa seriously channeled some home girl style. Girl got swag!
- So many colors…
For the bottom three, I predict Mickey, Hipsteron, and Alex or Matty who they were hating on? Or Gingersnap (although I personally think she owned it)? I don’t know!
CT, Lindasy, Boring Marissa, and Dreads are called back. No surprises there, considering that they ended up loving CT’s performance in the video. So Hipsteron and Gingersnap make it, leaving Mickey, Matty, and Alex in the bottom.
Last Chance song assignments:
Mickey- Last Name (Carrie Underwood)- she has to be unforgettable
Alex- I’ll Always Love You (Whitney Houston)- he “knows what he has to do.” Well I don’t!
Matty- Down (Jay Sean)- he has to be cool and sexy
In this week’s short scene, Boring Marissa gets her own booty popping session. Like I said before, she’s def channeling someone from the hood. CT is overwhelmed.
I don’t think he’s ready for this jelly
First up is Mickey. She gives a really good performance with actual personality! She’s funny, kind of! And she’s a crazy good singer.
She also beat out Gingersnap this week in the “Who can make the most ridiculous faces?” contest
They mostly liked her. Ryan says she could be the country singer of the Glee cast. I for one am glad he’s trying to lose the homeless chemo patient look by growing some hair.
For some reason, Ryan is very insistent that Matty be a sex symbol, but I don’t think that everyone on Glee has to be sexy. Matty rushes the song, and seems off for most of it. This also happened:
Which became this
He is pretty ripped…
I dug his last note, though. Ryan tells him he needs to be a “better him,” meaning take notes better and listen to people without freaking out.
Alex comes out wearing a trademarked scarf! I was wondering if we would go a whole episode without him ever wearing one. It would have been very strange indeed. He comes out and introduces himself in a super low-key manner. He almost sounds bored. Not a good sign…
Man, that boy can SING! Like a girl, but still. It almost brought a tear to my eye.
Preach it sista!
But he goes on about not doing his best so that other people can shine, and Ryan no likey that. He tells him to just be his big gay self and don’t worry about anyone else.
Mickey’s performance was great, but she’s been so bad in the past. Alex is normally amazing, but he really rubbed me the wrong way this episode. Matty…was Matty. I just hope Alex doesn’t go home.
And this week’s loozah is…
Her stupid name doesn’t even fit on the screen
Sorry Mickey, it was just too little, too late. You have a great voice, you’ll make it somewhere, even if it’s just singing in airport lounges. Hey, we need those people, too!
Cry me a river
Next week is duet week! That should be fun and awkward.
Thanks for reading, comment away!