Grey’s Anatomy: Gotta Have Faith

This week on Grey’s Anatomy, we finally get a new episode. It’s mostly about McSteamy chasing after average looking women. And faith. And Mrs. O’Malley getting preachy. and faith. And Lexie and Meredith working towards a relationship. Oh and did I mention faith?

Okay, okay, we get it.

As you can see, I’m taking over our dear Grey’s recap. I’m thrilled and honored, as Grey’s is one of my favorite shows. First and foremost, my sincerest apologies for the delay this week Gasmii. I assure you it will be the last. Now that the formalities are out of the way, let’s delve into the recap shall we?

Dr. Bailey narrates our intro as she tells us about God creating women and men, and leads us into a long dialogue about faith. I’m figuring Shonda Rhimes worked this little narration bit into her contract in exchange for overly-thanking producers when she undoubtedly wins an emmy for this episode. Touché Dr. Bailey. Well played indeed.

We open with McDreamy and McSteamy taking what appears to be an aimless hike up a muddy hill while McSteamy bitches that his three hundred dollars shoes are being ruined. Last time I checked Steamy, you boned Dreamy’s wife and ruined his marriage. By my calculations, at this point you’re still ahead in the Who’s A Worse Friend Competition. New shoes require a trip to the store. For a new wife, you have to go all the way back to the point where you pretend that you like fancy dinners and don’t care who holds the remote.

Off the bat, I’m wondering if this walk is supposed to be their form of exercise. I can’t speak for everyone, but personally I think that the more ideal visual of these two in an exercise Mcduo would be Steamy shirtless on a bench press with rain falling down on top of him, while Dreamy holds flowers and spots him, but whatever, why complain? At least there’s a new episode this week right? In the end it turns out the hike is just a little bonding over where Dreamy wants to build his new house with Meredith.

Three-ways aren’t normally my thing, but…

In what I like to call the Frat House, Meredith decides to cook breakfast for everyone while Dreamy tells her about the house on Worse Friend Hill he’s planning on building for them. Aside from lacking a good physical grasp on eggs, Meredith is apparently a terrible cook, to the point that you can tell just by the smell that it’s inedible.

Lexie, just happy Meredith is finally warming up to her, decides she has to eat the terrible eggs anyway, out of some sense of half-sibling duty. Ironically, it’s probably the same sense of half-sibling duty that inspired Meredith to cook them in the first place. I need a refresher on math, but don’t those two cancel each other out or something? Anyway, I disagree with the idea of sibling duty to begin with, but even if I agreed I’d still make the argument Lexie only had to eat half.

The three-week hiatus has apparently not stopped the tension over at the Bailey household. Big Tucker’s still feeling underappreciated and abandoned. I find it kind of hard to sympathize with Big Tucker. Not that I don’t think Miranda should be paying attention to her family, it’s just that Tucker seems to be a little whiney about it. You know if this was a woman she’d get the old, “I bust my hump all day at work to provide for this family, and all you do is complain” speech from her husband, so what should it be any different for Big Tucker? Pour the kid his Cheerios and stop bitching already.

Meanwhile, there has to be a statistic out there regarding the number of unhappy spouses of surgeons. My guess would be that three out of four spouses of surgeons feel neglected and abandoned and the last one is too distracted by all the extramarital affairs to feel anything but resentful. Tucker baby, take neglected and be happy.

Back in Seattle Grace, Mrs. O’Malley comes to the hospital to bring baby clothes she knitted for Callie and George, since they’re “trying”. Trying huh? “Trying” is more suitable for describing ABC pretending Callie and George make a believable couple. I mean, come on…her name would have been Callie O’Malley for crying out loud. Callie O’Malley. Are you kidding me? Did the inevitable dissolution of soon to be Mrs. Julia Gulia in The Wedding Singer teach us nothing?

Anyway, apparently Mrs. O’Malley doesn’t communicate with her family for weeks on end, and hasn’t spent enough time in the Seattle Grace cafeteria, because she hasn’t heard the gossip: George and Callie aren’t mixing up the baby batter any time soon.

After being uncomfortably approached, Callie does her best to cover for George before telling Mrs. O’Malley that she’ll try to go find her cheating, no good excuse for a husband; all the while being cloaked with mountains of atrociously Irish-looking baby sweaters. Oh Callie look, you’re ride is here; it looks like a Huff, let’s watch as you leave in it.

Moments later Izzie spots Mrs. O’Malley and accidentally mentions that George is separated, and that she floozied her way into an adulterous affair. Ever the good Catholic, Mrs. O’Malley is shocked and appalled, and Izzie officially pulled the classic accidental cheesy sitcom blown cover. Joey Gladstone would be proud.

Over in neurology, McDreamy is talking to Rose about their infamous kiss. “It was a nice kiss. But I am with someone. I have to follow through.” Isn’t it nice when romance and tennis coach instructions find common ground?

That’s right, now grab the balls

Our faith theme reappears as Elizabeth Archer, our newest cardio patient, fancies herself a healer. A layer of hands if you will. Yup, that’s right, just like Mr. Miagi.

But it’s not all spirits and healing today. No Cristina and Izzie continue to jealously feud over Izzie flirting with Cristina’s boyfriend Cardio, and Izzie resenting Cristina for knowing what she wants and having faith in herself.

I mean, God…she even knows how to pull off mixing reds with blues

Things go from bad to worse as Lexie develops a rash and we discover she’s allergic to eggs. Oh jeez, it’s bad enough you ate gross smelling eggs out of duty, now it turns out you’re risking your health for it? Do yourself a favor and buy her a nice Sister plaque at Hallmark and call it a day. Instead, Lexie wanders around the hospital looking for something to treat herself with. I might suggest some mascara and a massage, but who am I to judge, Gasmii?

Meanwhile, Hahn and Callie are apparently becoming the official BFFs of Seattle Grace. They play it off like they’re drinking buddies, but I think they secretly just have a bond over what my Grampy calls being “big boneded.”

Back in the emergency room, Bailey’s rushing a patient to surgery as she talks to Big Tucker on the phone and complains that he’s not supposed to page her unless it’s an emergency. Moments later Big Tucker comes through the emergency room with Little Tuck looking dangerously inferm.

Bailey is shocked and we discover that a bookshelf fell on Little Tuck, and Big Tucker suggests it was because Bailey left some gate open. Well perhaps if you were watching your child instead of writing lonely poems in your diary Tucker, this wouldn’t have happend?

Sent immediately to surgery, Dr. Hahn tries to operate on Tuck, but she’s interrupted by Bailey who wants to hold Tuck’s hand. Always senstive, Hahn commences a boycott and refuses to continue surgery until Bailey leaves. I hear ya’ Hahn, but don’t be such a bitch.

Cristina steps back from her typical robotic ways and agrees to hold Tuck’s hand. I guess at this point she’s left R2D2 mode and has graduated to Rosie from The Jetsons. Meanwhile apparently no one else in Seattle has an emergency, because our favorite residents all have nothing else to do but watch the surgery.

Elsewhere, George finally meets up with his mother who tells George that God married him and God is watching him, and God is great. God, is she almost done with this rant? We get it, Catholics don’t have affairs, and Catholics don’t get divorced. Riiiight. They just knit Irish sweaters, that’s all they do. I’m sure all those adulterous divorcees are Jewish or something. Perhaps we can arrange a dinner between all the sinless Catholics and all those faithful, happily married surgeons I know: Hi…yes I need a table for none, at 7 o’clock please. Thanks.

Back in the Healer’s room, Karev’s using that charm of his to talk the Healer into going into surgery. The Healer wants Karev to verbally walk her through the surgery. When Karev refuses, she talks to her Healer Friends about how Karev is a good boy, but a bad man, or something equally as odd that one might confuse with dirty talk under the wrong circumstances.

The point is that the Healer can see the goodness inside Karev and knows something bad happened to him. I’ve lost count on my Misunderstood Abacus, but I think this is the twenty-seventh time we’ve been told about Karev’s hard shell/soft interior. I don’t know about you, but I’m ready to see the soft side. Aaaany day now.

Tell me exactly what you will do to me in surgery bad boy. And speak slowly.

Taking a page from Izzie’s book of secret keeping, George tells Meredith about McDreamy’s kiss with Rose. Wow. I think at this point we’ve gone beyond Full House accidental secret revealing, and moved right on up to Three’s Company. It’s only a matter of time until we see the classic misunderstanding mixed with sexual innuendo.

Wow. That whole time we were talking about a friend “coming in the back door,” Mr. Roper thought we meant Jack, and not the Regal Beagle?

Back in surgery, Little Tuck is in bad shape and Bailey is finally beginning to break down. She panics about whether or not she left the gate open and again all the residents are still watching. Ok seriously, there’s got to be a kid out there in the waiting room with a broken leg being told “it’ll just be a few more minutes.”

But enough about the residents Gasmii, this episode is about faith, remember? Case in point: Bailey contemplates getting the Healer involved in Little Tuck’s case while Mrs.’ O’Malley stays at the hospital to knit Little Tuck a crucifix.

Over in the WillWeOrWon’tWeEverGetBackTogetherForGood wing of the hospital, McDreamy and Meredith discuss the kiss with Rose. Meredith tells McDreamy that this is why she’s afraid to build a house with him, and McDreamy has had enough stalling. Meredith debates whether she’ll never be able to trust him, McDreamy debates whether Meredith will never commit, and I debate whether I even care anymore. Shit or get off the pot you two.

Little Tuck is out of surgery, but still has a tough road ahead of him, so Bailey finally decides to get the Healer involved. A slap and rubbing of the hands later, the Healer does her magic, and the residents of the officially named Least Busy Hospital in Seattle watch on hopefully.

As long as she’s doing nothin’, have Izzie bring us some coffee

Bailey comes over to tell the residents to go away, and moments later Little Tuck begins to cough; proving once and for all that we’re not the only ones choking on faith this episode.

Barely convinced that this healing thing holds some water, Karev grabs Izzie and heads to the Healer’s room to help the Healer get better and help Izzie feel confident in herself. Take it easy now Karev, I’m pretty sure two good deeds in one day is your quota.

Quickly moving on to other topics, we find out George needs a new roommate and guess who else is looking for one?

Uh-Oohhh. Good thing Catholics don’t sleep with their friends’ sisters

.

To finish out our evening, Hahn and Callie meet up to head over to the bar for their daily drink and McSteamy approaches to try to talk Hahn out of her scrubs. His questionable flirting with Hahn proves fruitless as the soon to be lesbian couple head out, leaving McSteamy rejected. Mediocre Hahn turning down McSteamy to grab a drink with Callie?

Now THAT, is gonna take a whole lot more than faith for me to believe…