Grey’s Anatomy: But What About the Organs? Season Premiere Part I

Welcome back to Grey’s Anatomy! Last season we ended things with a BANG, and that was just the sound George made when hit by the bus. Too soon? To quickly recap, at the end of last season Izzie was knocking on death’s door, which looked a lot like the Seattle Grace elevator, in her prom best. George flat lined right as we found out he was George, Mer and Der married via post-it, and all of the sub stories fell by the wayside because GEORGE WAS JOHN DOE!

In off-season news, Katherine Heigl played the “I’m a diva beotch” card again, complaining in every possible forum that she had to lie there for 17 hours. How hard life must it be for someone in this terrible economy to earn millions for lying there for 17 hours. How difficult. The horror! I hope somebody at the craft service table peed in her OJ after that statement. After showing the world what an ungrateful brat she really is, she then tried a new approach and adopted a child. And in other news, the Pomp popped out her little one, so it’ll be fun to see how they tie both of the baby absences into the show.

And in the hottest off-season news, McSteamy earns that name with a Noxema girl threesome. And for those people who are like…yeah, but did you see the tape? It wasn’t that hot. Um reminder….even a not that hot threesome that involves celebrities is still hotter than what most of middle America does in their bedroom on a Friday night. Just sayin.

Enough about the past, let’s move forward! The episode starts out somber. The doctors are split into two groups, one in the operating room fighting to save George, the others fighting to revive Izzie in her room. George, formally John Doe, formally 007, formally employed, dies on the operating table as Grey voices over about the five stages of grief. Izzie opens her eyes and takes a breath. Wrong choice writers…wrong choice.

After the fight for George ends, the Major, always the pillar of sensitivity asks if anyone knows George’s donor status. He also calls dibs on George’s new HD TV. Callie begins to hyperventilate because as you remember she is poor, and the countdown of Grief begins.

Day One: Life after George

Meredith rushes to get Bailey, Mama Bear, to bring her to George’s room. Callie is still hyperventilating and the doctors continue to discuss his organ status. The girl who George saved asks Sloan and Lexie who George is, because she keeps hearing people say John Doe is George. The two of them look shocked and rush down the hall. Way to be 3 months behind you two. I think half of my friends had a facebook status the day after the finale talking about John Doe being George.

In Izzie’s room, Alex argues that they cannot tell Izzie about George’s death. She is too unstable. Izzie, who still has post-its all over her room, remembers her dream of seeing George in his uniform and asks for her phone. She thinks her dream was foreshadowing what will happen if George joins the army and wants to warn him. Also she wants to tell him that he looks really hot with a shaved head, so he should move forward with the crew cut, just not the whole enlisting thing.

As Lexie and Sloan look over George’s still unrecognizable body, Lexie feels hopeful because those feet can’t be George’s, they are too big! George wasn’t that tall! George was a gnome and everyone knows that gnomes only have 4 toes.

In light of this news the whole gang confronts Meredith asking why she thought it was George. Well obviously because he drew three numbers on her hand referring to a nickname half the audience didn’t remember and squeezed her hand. Hope is not lost! Everyone thinks Mer is cray-cray and wrong. Callie, the ex-wife knows of an identifying freckle that he has. She will go look.

After a few quiet moments alone with John Doe, Callie breaks down in fresh tears confirming what we already knew. As the gang looks on, the Chief reminds them that there are still lives to save. And if George can save one jumping in front of a bus, they need to honor him by doing whatever they can to save people. Everyone walks away slowly and tearfully except Bailey who appears to be still in the anger/denial phase of grief.

We meet the first patient, or what I think of as the non George/Izzie storyline that we don’t care about. It’s Arizona’s patient who has chronic pain, but more importantly his mom is the blond chick from the Goonies!!! How old am I, that kids from the goonies are now playing parents to kids who are old enough to be goonies?? And even more importantly, why didn’t this girl ever get her ridiculous overbite fixed? I never understand why people with money don’t get simple cosmetic things fixed. I’m talking to you Anna Paquin. Also, suck it up child of a Goonie. What’s a little pain? Goonies never say die!

All the doctors are crying and handling the loss of George when Mrs. O’Malley arrives and leaves George’s organs up to Callie. Why is everyone so concerned about his friggin organs? Check his drivers license and move on to more important things, like…who is going to get all that money he saved by switching to Geiko? The sadness has drifted towards the Major and Yang who are waiting for incoming traumas and about to hold hands until, Ambulance alert! In case you forgot this was a medical show, not the new Cry for George hour. Which I would believe. ABC will put just about anything on the air these days.

The patient is a woman who got in a boating accident and lost her arms and a leg from the propeller. The EMT tells Yang that the missing limbs are at the bottom of the lake, until a car comes screeching to a halt behind the ambulance with two cute Aussies in it, bearing arms. No, not guns….literally bearing the girls arms. They hand over two grey arms to Yang and pat each other on the back for a job well done. MY ASS. I would have thrown those arms at her and apologized that they were covered in vomit because I was carrying ARMS. That were gray!

Callie goes to talk to Arizona about the task of deciding what to do about George’s organs. What is they mystery? He was a doctor. He knew how difficult it was to get organs. I think it’s a pretty safe bet that he was an organ donor. Either way, Callie doesn’t want to make the decision because even though they were once married, she was never the most important person in his whole world. And I think we know who that person is. Trouble is….that person doesn’t know he’s dead yet, and if she finds out it might kill her. Literally…kill her dead.

Alex and Callie argue about whether or not to tell Izzie that George is dead. Alex is all…um she just died like an hour ago for no reason, she isn’t strong enough. And Callie is all, dude, her eyes are open, she’s strong enough. Then Callie throws in, by the way, if you don’t tell her then she’ll hate you forever. Is Izzie still forgetting things every 30 seconds? Maybe they could tell her, have her decide about the most important part of the episode, what to do with George’s organs, and then she’d forget before she panicked and died? Sounds win-win to me.

Back with No Arms patient, it turns out that the Aussies got the arms to the Doctors in time. Hurray! High fives all around. Er….maybe in like a half an hour once they are attached. Awkward. The girls that brought the arms say they aren’t friends, they are just traveling mates who were backpacking through the states together. I’m so sure, two hot Aussies backpacking together through the states, not somewhere cool like…any other continent. This is how C-grade porn starts.

In a random moment, some old dude named Jennings tracks down McD and asks about the lost resident. (George) Without waiting for a response he asks McD if he wants to be the next Chief of Seattle Grace. Not sure what one has to do with another….but ok? Congrats McD.

In Izzie’s room she leaves a breathless voicemail on George’s phone. She’s like…um, I almost died, like I was dead George. Call me back! She is interrupted by Alex who comes in and tells her he has news, but he needs her to not die when he tells her. Ah, a classic start to any important conversation. “So…i have some news, but please don’t die when I tell you.” He tells her that George was in an accident, and is now brain dead.

Once Izzie has realized what was said, they have the important organ decision to make. Callie is asking about the specific organs, “do you want them to take the heart,” “what about the eyes” and again I call bull shit. They would just say, organs yes or no. Not….are you sure, I mean…that includes his eyes…and maybe his ears, are you sure about his ears. It’s not a checklist on your license, it’s yes or no. Izzie responds with the obvious, saying that George would give everything.

Alex and Meredith take Izzie to see George, and Amanda (the girl he saved) is in there crying. They tell her she needs to leave so his real friends can mourn. Izzie sees George and just breaks down. It is very sad.

As we continue to see how the various doctors of Seattle Grace are dealing with the death of George we learn that Bailey is probably doing the worst. She just seems furious. Arizona tries to get help with her patient and Bailey looks at her as if she asked to start a meth lab together with start-up money she stole from George’s wallet. For Bailey the world has momentarily stopped spinning.

As Alex, Meredith and Izzie accompany George’s body to the OR to remove his organs, Yang barks orders at Little Grey. Turns out that the hot Aussie’s left, presumably to hitchhike and get picked up by a suburban full of Sigma Chi’s and the girl with no arms and one leg is all alone. Lexie’s new assignment for the day is to be her friend when she wakes up because she’s going to need somebody to hold her hand…er-foot. Shit.

In the grand tradition of awesome Seattle Grace timing, before the Chief removes George’s organs, McD shares with him that the board is planning a coup. A coup? Holy crap, shit’s getting serious at Seattle Grace. They are planning on getting the Chief out and Derek in and Derek is giving the Chief some notice. Remember this time a year ago when Seattle Grace fell to #12. Well….they haven’t come up yet, and the board thinks it’s the Chiefs fault. Derek’s warning is meant to give the Chief time to come up with a plan to thwart the coup. But hey, good luck on pulling the plug on everyone’s favorite resident.

In George’s OR, all the nurses are lined up to receive their assigned organ. Bailey begins to walk down the line to have each nurse tell her where the organ is going. Always the Mama Bear.

In the on-call room, or booty call room (new season, same dirty sex room), Yang and the Major are rolling around in the hay. Choking be damned Yang needs to get banged. Even though her friend and colleague is about to have his plug pulled, and Owen insists that he needs to work his shiz out in therapy before they get busy, Yang doesn’t care. Asians got needs too yall. The Major insists that he needs to work things out before “burying himself in her” damn when you put it that way, I wouldn’t want his strawberry serpent burying itself in me either!

The Major calls off the sex for now and says they need to go to George’s funeral since they have finally decided what to do with his organs, thank God. Yang doesn’t want to go, she’d rather work on seviche. (?) Yang has given a cute nickname to the girl in the boating accident, Seviche…chopped up fish. So Yang went from being kind of bitchy to jumping on the express train to hell. All aboard!

In Seviche’s room (I mean I’m not ok with it, but I don’t know her name, and to make up another nickname seems redundant), Lexie reads a postcard from the Aussie bitches who ditched her for burning man. What a couple of whores. Seviche is almost done with her many surgeries at this point but still hasn’t called her mom. Lexie, her only friend, transcribes an email to her mom saying everything is fine.

At George’s funeral, Izzie walks away, apparently overwhelmed with emotion. Grey, Alex and Yang all go to comfort her. They find her sitting outside a crypt, CRACKING up. She is laughing at the girl Amanda who was sobbing harder than everyone else at the funeral. Then she laughs at Meredith for getting married on a post-it, then they all laugh at Izzie and Karev for getting married for real, then they laugh at Izzie for having cancer, then they ALL laugh at George for getting hit by a bus, and then they laugh at all of us for having watched this shit for five seasons. SUCKERS. The funeral ends and Amanda walks by still sobbing and all four of them start to laugh at her maniacally. You never grow out of being a mean girl.

And by the way, this is why deep down George hated all four of these assholes. He was a nice guy, and you four laugh at people who cry at funerals and people who get hit by busses. Either way, it was a funny scene, and I’d rather watch that then the funeral.

After the funeral Lexie sits in the resident’s locker room staring at George’s locker. Sloan joins her and finds that she is crying. She admits that after he rejected her, she moved out and never spoke to him again. Basically she was a super shitty friend and now feels awful. Sloan, in great compassion turns to Lexie and asks if George was well hung. He really should have saved that discussion for the funeral, but we already discussed the poor timing of this group. Lexie gives him the WTF face, rightfully so, and Sloan is like, well you, Callie, Izzie…WTF back? You forgot Meredith, but we get your point. Shit, George had girls he hadn’t even met sobbing for him at his funeral!

Day 10- Life After George
(I don’t think all of the above actually happened in one day, but we’re following their formula)

Izzie is getting checked up by a very cold Bailey who tells her that she is free to go home. She is still a cancer patient, but she is no longer a surgical patient so she doesn’t have to stay at the hospital. Izzie goes to give Bailey a hug, but Bailey doesn’t return it and leaves. Damn Bailey, it’s not her fault that you’re a single mother and that George got hit by a bus.

Meanwhile, Mrs. Goonies and Goonies Jr. are back and he’s got more pain, a temperature of 101 and I still don’t give a shit about his story line. Sorry Arizona, try one of the more important Goonies, then maybe I’ll care. Elsewhere, in stories I don’t care about, Lexie’s patient is trying to make her hand move. With no luck, they begin to send another fake email to her mum about grand times in the U.S. Has her mom not noticed a skyrocketing insurance plan or what?

We find the Chief in his office, where he is joined by Torres. She comes in to ask about the status of her request for a promotion. The Chief tells her that Dr. Chang (her superior) isn’t leaving this year, so she’ll have to wait. Callie then proceeds to go a little ape shit. She reminds the Chief that she is the best, and that Chang is basically just a figure head. She runs his department and she deserves his job. Torres then proceeds to say all of the following in straight up awesomeness:

1. I am a super star
2. Don’t say my name, I am too much of a star for you to say my name
3. I am like God
4. You will rue this day
5. That’s right, I said rue (insert body tap here)

I will pay anyone’s bar tab if they go out with me and say all five of those statements to one person in one night. For reals.

This whole scene was witnessed by the board member who is still trying to talk Derek into taking the Chief’s position because he thinks the Chief can’t handle it anymore.

After Torres storms off, she joins Bailey in an elevator where she completely breaks down into tears. Bailey stands there and ignores her completely. Bailey….where’s Mama Bear??

Day 11: Life After George
Crying girl Amanda is at the hospital looking for treatment for sleep deprivation. She asks Grey if she’s been able to sleep because everywhere she goes, she sees George’s face. Grey ignores the question and writes her a prescription and leaves.

Also, Arizona gets busted by the Chief about to perform a costly test of Goonie Jr. without the consent of the hospital. The Chief blows up, rightly so, and tells her to call it off.

Day 13: Life After George

Sloan is banging on Callie’s door telling her to come out before he damages his million dollar hands. She comes out sobbing about the death of her ex-husband, the loss of her job and the girlfriend who keeps bringing her donuts. Well…now you are just trying to complain, what’s wrong with the donuts?

At the fraternity house, The Karev’s come home to find the McDreamy’s banging on the stairs. Ok, now that we’re all married, I think it’s time to get two separate addresses. I know that Izzie has been living at the hospital and all, but come on…Turns out McD agrees with me because he tosses the keys to his trailer and tells them to get the F out of there. Nicer than that though, I mean, Izzie does have cancer. Didn’t Izzie grow up in a trailer though? This should be a nice homecoming.

At the hospital, Mrs. O’Malley has come to get some answers from the Major. She doesn’t understand why all of a sudden George wanted to join the Army and the Chief told her to ask Owen. Nice Chief. Way to throw him in front of the bus! I mean…under the bus. Still too soon? The Major tells her that he had huge potential and that he liked George very much, and that he was brave and super and she should be very proud.

In the room next door, Seviche calls Lexie a bitch for saving her life. She would rather be dead and begins to thrash around like a maniac opening her unhealed wounds and bleeding all over the place.

Meanwhile, Bailey stands outside passively and unemotionally, as if still in shock by the loss of George.

So that is hour one. Pretty intense, and sad. I miss George. Part two coming shortly!