Grey’s Anatomy: Hugging Out the Crazy

All week long in preparation for Grey’s Anatomy, we have been prepped and pumped for a huge Thursday night event where Grey’s Anatomy and Private Practice have an explosive cross over episode. This was meant to build excitement, but for someone who doesn’t watch Private Practice, all it did was incite a groan. Furthermore ABC I don’t appreciate you saying this has never been done before, because isn’t this exactly what you did when Private Practice first started? That’s how I learned in the beginning that I thought that it sucked. But I guess they want to give us another chance to reject Addison’s new home. So, without further ado let’s jump right into this week’s explosive crossover event.

The show begins with Izzie, finally alone, in the clinic searching for her vein to poke. She looks frustrated as she can’t seem get the needle in the right spot. If only she had a friend who was a doctor that could help her draw blood. Izzie’s interns enter the clinic complaining about spending a day giving flu shots and wiping poor people’s asses. They want to be surgeons! They want to save the lives of inmates at the tax payer’s expense. Not people who can’t afford insurance! This bitch and moan session is being lead by an increasingly obnoxious Sadie who has her back turned when Izzie busts them. She appears really happy about their bitching.

In the real hospital, Yang enters the on-call room accidentally waking up the Major. They both are incredibly flustered and apologize to one another. With all the things that go on in that on-call room, I imagine that catching someone sleeping is the least embarrassing it could get. The Major insists that Yang stay since she’s been up all night, and he’ll head back to work. As he leaves he quietly tells Yang she should wear her hair up more because he likes the back of her neck. Of the places on the female anatomy to choose from, if a guy’s complimenting the back of your neck, I’d rethink the sexual chemistry. Yang blushes and looks flattered.

As Yang walks dazed down the hallway Meredith finds her and *gasp* asks about Yang. It then began to snow in hell and Babe took flight. Meredith asks Yang if she had dirty sex with the Major in the on-call room. No whorebag, just because you can’t come to work without spreading your legs, doesn’t mean that everyone is like that. Yang tells her she doesn’t know what it is, but it’s not dirty sex. After spending 45 seconds discussing Yang, the conversation returns to Grey, because she needs Yang to pre-read her mom’s journal. She’s reached the point in her mom’s life, when she starts doing the Chief and needs a proof read. Vomit, even if it wasn’t with my boss, I still would never want to read/know/think about my parents having sex. I But I was also delivered by a stork.

Lexie and Sloan enter the hospital together-ish. Lexie looks triumphant and smug, as Sloan looks like he’s praying nobody noticed they got off the elevator at the same time. Torres approaches Lexie at the front desk and casually asks how she’s doing. The way you would any person in the morning, when you aren’t really expecting a response. Lexie begins to gush about her relationship with Mark, thanking Torres for asking. As she goes on and on about the sex and the laughing and the greatness of it all, Torres dips out as fast as humanly possible. The learning from this is both Grey’s are 100% self absorbed and think everyone is incredibly interested in their sex life. We’ve also learned that they are always wrong. On a more interesting note, Torres has new sassy bangs!

Lexie pleads with Torres one more time, saying she needs somebody to gush too about Sloan because nobody knows except Torres and she can’t keep it to herself. Um, doesn’t Sadie know? Torres tells Lexie to bug off because single people, do not need together people rubbing their togetherness in their noises. I guess I should cancel that order of t-shirts I sent all my single friends for Valentines Day with a picture of me and my husband making out.

Sloan finds Derek looking in a little black box that holds the engagement ring dropped off by Mamma D. Sloan is shocked and tells him to put it away before somebody gets hurt. Derek says he’s ready to propose, but he has to do it in the right way because Grey spooks easily. Deth’s like a horse! Approach cautiously. They are met by the Major who takes Sloan in for a final penile check up. All systems are go in Sloan’s nether regions and the Major reminds him to use it wisely and not let Lexie keep thinking she is a sex goddess for the injury. She’s a klutz.

Lexie and Meredith wait outside for ambulances to show up. The two of them are working together today. Meredith begins to ask Lexie about why she’s been working with Sloan so much recently. Lexie, always the graceful liar, stumbles through her explanation of her new love of plastics. And speaking of plastics, the Grey’s are interrupted by an ambulance arrival with a very bloody man and a very frantic and plastic looking woman. Plastic face ran over her husband with the car and as she repeats that she is fine before she faints.

In the exam room, we learn that plastic face is pregnant which is why she accidentally left the car running. Awesome, so now pregnant people not only can blame why they eat like rhinos and snap for no reason on pregnancy hormones, now they can blame running people over with cars? Super. The doctors are checking both man and wife out, and the wife’s blood pressure starts sky rocketing. The man will need surgery and the woman needs to calm the F down before she traumatizes the baby. Meredith and Derek discuss the couple as they leave the room and Meredith casually mentions that their kid won’t come out as cute as McD’s and hers, but it’ll be cute. Well that’s random. Guess Seabiscuit doesn’t spook too easily.

Bailey enters the Chief’s office and after a three day break, she is ready to get back to work. Jackson’s case was emotionally draining for her, so she requests to avoid pediatric surgeries for a few days. The Chief interrupts to inform her that she is getting promoted after all of her hard work. Aww Bailey, see. Neglecting your family does pay off in the end! The Chief informs Bailey that she’s on Dixon’s service today, so he hopes she took her “dealing with social awkwardness” pills this morning because it’s going to be a long day.

Yang is prepping two adults who are about to meet Dr. Dixon. She warns them that even though she is the best, she probably will not look at them and they ought to avoid loud noises or breathing too closely to her. Dixon enters, and without introduction asks to see the patient. Yang informs Dixon of the severity of the patient, which a slow reveal shows is a child. Bailey, learning that she is about to work with another dying child looks on as if someone just kicked her in the stomach.

Two more potential Seattle Grace liabilities patients wait in the lobby as a no-name intern passes. He asks if they need anything, but the man refuses saying, “not him.” Karev approaches, and the man says, not him either.” Fortunately the Chief walks by at this moment, and he appears to be just right. They need a grown up, because as we quickly learn, he has suffered a grown up, injury. The couple pulls out a magazine and says they were attempting to do #9 on a list, and now he can’t sit down. As the Chief, no name intern and Karev read the sexual act, they all appraise the couple again and Karev and no name start to laugh. Sadly, patient professionalism is not taught in intern school.

While Dr. Dixon is talking to the little girl’s parents she begins using normal hospital mumbo jumbo. Bailey, determined not to get emotionally attached to another dying child, starts telling the little girl in kid terms what Dixon is saying. It’s actually very cute, and makes it even more of a shame that Bailey’s own kid will never know how good she is with children. The little girl is a soccer player, and tired of her crap heart and wants to know when she’ll be able to hit the field again. And in that instance, Bailey is once again fully emotionally tied to this little girl.

Meredith finds Yang to see how her mom’s journal is turning out. Since she has had it for a few hours at work, surely she has had nothing better to do then read Mer’s mom’s old journal about banging their current boss. Yang has read parts of it, and she said it’s pretty hot so far. No sex yet, but lustful glances and loaded questions. According to Yang, the romance of Dr. Grey and The Chief reads like a Victorian romance model.

The next scene…I’m not really sure how to describe it. This weird piano music starts playing, that sounds like it should be in a Jane Austen movie. The music plays as Yang walks down the hall alone and is joined by the Major. He walks very close to her, like weirdly close, and they just miss holding hands. I believe this scene is supposed to be erotic and sexy, but it comes across as weird and goofy. I think it’s the music. The situation itself would be sweet and hot, but the music makes me think that one of them will eat a poison apple soon or something. They continue walking in slow motion until the Major barely touches her hand and walks the other way.

After a long dry spell, we finally get a meeting of the boy’s club! Derek happily tells Sloan about Grey mentioning kids earlier, and how that must prove she’s ready for marriage. Well this is realistic. Men often talk joyfully with one another about how their girlfriends mentioned children casually in discussion. As they are talking, The Chief joins the boys and Sloan tells him the glorious news about Shepherd proposing. The Chief is thrilled for the two crazy kids for finally making it work. Plus he knows how those randy Grey’s women are in the sack. The final sack that joins the boy’s club is the Major, who Sloan tells about the proposal and asks the Major if he has proposed before. The Major awkwardly says he isn’t the right person to ask….That isn’t exactly a no, Major. Perhaps the baggage he is dragging around isn’t only from the battlefield. The conversation is brought to an abrupt halt as Grey approaches. That mug could stop a freight train.

In another boy’s club, the interns are doing their best job to impersonate 14 year old boys seeing boobs for the first time, as they check out horny man’s ex-rays. They use every opportunity to get words like suck, reamed, crack and bend over and take it, into conversation, as they laugh maniacally five feet away from the patient. Shoulda gone to Mercy West dude. The Chief takes over the x-rays and promises the man that they’ll get it out. I kinda want to know what #9 was.

In the clinic, Sadie is trying to find a vein on an unfortunate victim/patient. Izzie interrupts to see what’s going on and the patient tells Izzie that she has tried three times and missed. If I was the patient that needle would be in Sadie’s eye by now. If you’ve ever had a community school graduate try to find your vein and it takes them more than one try, you’ll understand my violent reaction. Izzie’s reaction mirrors my own as she pulls the needle away and reminds Sadie that they practiced IV’s on themselves. She should be better at this. In front of the patient, Izzie begins teaching Sadie how to find the vein and has Sadie find hers and draw blood. I don’t care how cheap the free clinic is. This is a good example of you get what you pay for. Izzie asks Sadie to run her blood, and seems relieved that she found a way to get herself checked out without telling anyone that a ghost said she’s dying.

Sloan and Torres are busy in the OR taking care of the guy who got hit by his wife. Things are moving along swimmingly, so they begin to discuss Sloan’s “secret” relationship with Lexie. Apparently they are unaware of the 9 odd people in the OR with them. Torres is happy that Sloan is ready to hop back in the sack now that his pogo stick has its bounce back. Sloan sadly tells her that he has to break up with Lexie. The conversation is interrupted as Grey joins them in the ER. As she enters, the man ruptures something and begins to crash. (She has that affect on me too). A nurse calls Lexie who is with plastic face in a room. Plastic face freaks when she gets wind of her husband’s surgical complications. Lexie lies quickly, and effectively for once, and calms plastic face down. As her blood pressure finally goes down Lexie begins to relax until plastic face suddenly begins to seize. Even healthy people die in this hospital.

Elsewhere in the hospital, Bailey gets the page she has been dreading since meeting her new child patient. She begins to rush to the room but is having trouble even getting her feet to move. Bailey will not be able to emotionally handle another child ordeal, even with the positive results Jackson finally had. The little girl is experiencing major complications and Bailey has to give her a painful shot in the chest. Kids like this seriously deserve medals. (Real life sick kids, I’m not referring to child actors).

Dixon, Bailey and Arizona (yay I was beginning to miss her!) discuss the little girl outside. She needs to go into surgery and Bailey tells Arizona that she’ll have to do it. Bailey can’t scrub in on another child that she might lose. Arizona comforts Bailey and says that even the really sick kids usually make it because they are resilient and because audiences really don’t enjoy watching children die, it’s too sad. (For example of this fact see My Girl….saddest movie ever). Arizona encourages Bailey to step in and save the little girl because she’ll want to be the one who hands her back her future. And in other news, Arizona reaffirms her position as my favorite character on the show.

The man hit by a car is doing much better, and the doctors are finishing up his surgery. As they are finishing, Little Grey runs in for Big Grey and tells her about Plastic face’s seizure. The two leave receiving one lingering gaze from Sloan. Torres tells him he’s an idiot for giving up on something that is making him happy. She warns him that if he isn’t careful he’ll end up alone and celibate like her. Um, I don’t think being single for a month or two counts as celibate. That is a dry spell. If you have the opportunity for sex, that you turn down because you are choosing to not have sex, that is celibate. This sexual awareness fact was sponsored by Trojan-for when you aren’t celibate.

In the clinic, Izzie taking full advantage of the fact that she owns the joint is having Sadie perform ex-rays on her.

Derek goes in to check up on Plastic Face and while he is examining her she notices something falling out of his pocket. When she asks about it, he quickly banishes Meredith from the room leaving him, Plastic Face and Lexie. He asks them if they can keep a secret and tells them about the upcoming proposal. What secret? The entire hospital now officially knows you are about to propose Derek. I’m sure the prego lady who just seized is really concerned about your upcoming proposal to fellow botox pioneer. But she seems really excited and shares how her husband proposed to her at the grocery store next to cat food and tampons, and she thought it was romantic. She also hit him with a car…just sayin. Derek leaves to go run some checks on her noggin to make sure everything is ok and they agree that neither has anything to be scared of for the future.

Dixon, Yang and Bailey have the little girl in the OR with her chest opened. Dr. Dixon gravely says that this is the most diseased heart she’s ever seen and that a heart lung transplant is necessary or this child will die. Bailey, who is over this dejavu peaces the F out, leaving Yang and Dixon to close the little girl up.

After surgery, Dr. Dixon tells the parents of the little girl’s prognosis. The little girl will have to remain on medication until she can have the transplant which could potentially be years, leaving the little girl bedridden and dependent on IV medication for years. Bailey isn’t around to hear this news. She heard there was a small child downstairs in the nursery that resembled her. Oh, it’s her son George! I’m glad to see that one of the George’s is getting some camera love.

At the clinic, Izzie now has the interns performing an MRI on her. She is walking them through it while she is in the machine. Luckily, the interns are all so incredibly dense that none of them have picked up on what Izzie is doing. George walks in and calls Izzie out on performing expensive and unnecessary procedures on herself and tells her that if she doesn’t stop she’ll have joblessness, homelessness and depression in her future. Those in glass houses TR…And that is his big scene of the episode.

At lunch the doctors and interns review the list of sex tricks which put the old man in the hospital. They discuss which ones they like, what they’ve tried and what they want to try. Alex hearing that Izzie wants to try #16, grabs her and leaves for the on-call room. Lexie warns them to not try it too fast. You can get hurt. Sorry Greys Anatomy, you still aren’t going to convince me that Lexie is a sex God and that’s how she took out manwhore Sloan. Nice try though. Yang tells Grey that she knows somebody who likes a “good 12″ and slightly taps Grey’s mom’s journal and walks away. I can’t decide who I’d like to know the sex life of less, my boss or my mom. It’s a toss up. Why Grey wants to know either is beyond me.

As Yang leaves she stops by the Major’s table and asks him if he’s on call. As he answers she coyly pulls her hair off of her neck into a ponytail. Not sexy, but at least there was no ominous piano music playing.

As Dixon continues to tell the parents of the little girl about the dire situation of her treatment, Bailey bursts in with a brilliant solution. According to Bailey, the little girl can wear a backpack at all times that will administer the medication and she can continue to live a normal and happy life. Bailey talks excitedly, and the parents begin to get happy and relived. In a moment of joy, the little girl’s mom grabs Dr. Dixon and hugs her. Dr. Dixon goes completely postal. She throws the woman off of her screaming and flees from the room. Everybody, including the little girl look at each other confused. Well that was awkward.

Dr. Dixon flees to a room and shaking and hyperventilating. Bailey comes to check on her and asks how she can help. Dixon says it’s necessary for her to get her nervous system to decompress and she needs Bailey to hold her as tight as possible. Bailey slowly wraps her arms around Dixon and begins to hug. Dixon/Captain Obvious tells Bailey that she is kind of little and she needs more. Just as that moment, Yang walks in to find the two embracing. Bailey tells Yang to join her and hug it out with Dixon until she gets better. The three of them stand there in a hilarious embrace.

Plastic face gets her diagnosis and it turns out that she has a brain aneurism. Of course she does. Well thank God she hit her husband with a car or they might have never found it! Apparently the symptoms of a brain aneurism resemble that of pregnancy.

Elsewhere in the hospital something loud and metal is removed from the horny guy’s ass. Nuff said.

Sadie brings Izzie her test results from the day and it turns out she is fine. However, the woman they were also treating has cancer and the outlook is not good. I’m wondering if Brain Child Sadie accidentally confused the charts. Normally I wouldn’t entertain this thought, but at this hospital anything is possible, so you never know.

Lexie enters the on call room to find an overly eager Sloan. Now that he’s up and running again he’s ready for Lexie to get back in the saddle. Little Grey stops him and says she can’t do the secret anymore. If he wants to ride Little Grey, he’s going to have to tell Big Grey and McD.

Out in the hospital, Yang turns a corner and…no…not the creepy piano music!! WTF is going on with this ridiculous music! She sees the Major and they walk slowly toward one another, gazing and smiling. Yang with her hair pulled up and the Major red as a tomato approach each other. The lust and adoration in the Major’s eyes slowly turns to fearful recognition as he looks just over Yang’s shoulder to see a cute blond. His eyes turn to terror and he straight up runs in the opposite direction. Yang watches him run with confusion.

The Major rushes into a private room followed by Yang. He begins to completely freak out and tells Yang to leave him alone. He starts turning progressively redder and pushes Yang away when she tries to touch him. He was less weird when he was in the shower. Yang, having just learned how to deal with crazies, wraps him up in a big hug and tells him he needs to calm down his nervous system.

Dixon and Bailey perform the backpack surgery on the little girl and as Bailey apologizes for her brash backpack behavior earlier, Dixon says it’s expected. She is used to pediatric surgeons breaking protocol. Bailey corrects Dixon quickly saying she is not a pediatric surgeon, and Dixon is like….uh, yeah you are. She tells her she treats each child patient, like they are her child, only she sees them every day. After the surgery, my girlfriend Arizona confirms that Dixon was right, that Bailey has the heart of a pediatric surgeon, and there aint nothing wrong with that.

At the bar, Lexie, Torres and her bangs discuss her future with Mark. We finally find out what Torres is hiding behind those massive new bangs, sadness. Lexie asks her what’s wrong but Torres storms off. As she goes she passes Arizona who randomly takes a tequila shot. A girl who takes tequila shots alone, bad ass or alcoholic? You choose.

At the hospital, Grey finds the Major passed out on top of Yang who is still reading Mamma Grey’s journal. Grey is confused but decides to let it go. Yang officially spills over the worst kept secret ever and tells Grey that Derek is about to propose. My first reaction is, what a bitch! But, Derek asked Yang for help proposing to Grey without freaking her out, and I think by Yang giving her the calm heads up, that’s the best way to not spook Grey. Or Yang is just a spiteful jealous beyotch.

In the bathroom of the bar, Arizona finds Torres crying. Arizona tells Torres that people at Seattle Grace talk, and that she’s well aware of all the past Torres-issues. She also tells her that even though people are talking, the talk is overall good. People like Torres and when she is ready to get back on the horse there will be a line of boys and girls waiting for her. Torres laughs and asks for a name or two of these so called liner-uppers. Arizona gives her an inquisitive look, and goes in for a kiss! Wow…I did NOT see that coming! After the kiss Torres looks shocked and thrilled, and I feel the same way. Grey’s Anatomy, I can usually predict your shocking moments from about a mile away, but this one was good. And I LOVE that they pulled away from Sadie. It just wasn’t there.

At the fraternity house, Derek and Sloan are putting the finishing touches on a very rosy and cheesetastic room. They have covered Grey and Derek’s bedroom with roses and candles and any other romantic cliché you can think of. Pretty sure Marvin Gaye is playing in the background. (which is still better than the creepy piano music from earlier). After Sloan leaves, Derek gets a phone call from Addison who needs his help (in case you missed the previews for the last week). Later in the evening when Grey gets home, she opens her bedroom door to an empty spotless room. When she lies down on the bed she finds a single rose pedal under the pillow.

The show then transitioned to Addison on Private Practice. I fast forwarded through the entire episode, refusing to fall for their marketing trickery trying to make me watch the entire episode to make sure there was no more Grey’s related stuff. There wasn’t until the end when she called Derek whose help she needs.

So, actually NEXT week is the groundbreaking cross over episode. Imagine the timing of Addison calling right when McD is about to propose and Sloan has fallen in love. Overall I thought the episode was pretty good with the exception of the horrendous piano music scene. Am I over reacting, or did it drive anyone else crazy?

Not sure that I’ll be able to go for two hours this Thursday, but I’m willing to try anything. Maybe even #16…..That’sWhatSheSaid