Grey’s Anatomy: Proof That you Never Leave High School

Alex, Izzie, Big and Little Grey observe this behavior with concern. Izzie, a veteran and dealing with stress by becoming immobile in gross places inside the frat house, assures them this is normal. Could be worse, he could be on the bathroom floor in a prom dress. Grey, confronts the artist formerly known as McDreamy to find out when he plans to return to work. After a three day vacation from work and showering, she thinks its time to return to the world of the living. Or at least put some product in his hair. Grey’s not prepared to be the pretty one in their relationship (Although to be honest, I find the new McDirty sexier than McDreamy, but that’s just me).

McD angrily and still beat up from the fight with Sloan tells her he’ll be going to the hospital today because he has a deposition now that he’s been hit with a big fat lawsuit after killing Jessica Stein. Grey awkwardly says, oh…well that’s good….I mean, not that you killed a bitch, but you know, that you’re going back to the hospital. Smooth Grey.

Turns out the Major dreams of practicing judo, since he backhands Yang into a wall upon waking. Yang slams hard against it causes her arm to split open and start bleeding. As the Major bandaged Christina up, she assures him its no big deal and tries to discuss incoming cases since she is on his service today. He tells her that she needs to let her arm heal, and he doesn’t need her today. I’m sure Yang is going to take this really well. She loves missing out on cases.

In other Doctor on Doctor action, Torres is checking up on Sloan’s hand to see if it still bears the brunt of McD’s face all over it. Sloan hasn’t operated in three days, and Torres advises him to wait a little longer until it’s fully healed. And BTW Sloan, all of the patient’s who’s faces you might be working on agree with her! Can you imagine if your plastic surgeon came in with a cast on their hand?

As they are talking, Arizona walks by and Torres hides behind Sloan. She tells Sloan about the “say anything” moment she has in front of Arizona’s date, and now she’s hiding. I don’t know that it’s a say anything moment. If you didn’t hold a radio above your head it doesn’t count. But that would be awesome for next time Torres!

After Torres leaves, Lexie the walking disaster comes up. She apologizes again for causing the fight and tells Sloan he ought to talk to McD since he hasn’t left the couch since bruising Sloan’s fist with his face. Sloan seems very eager to do this as his only response to her request is to walk away.

Elsewhere as Alex is charting, Izzie gazes on dreamily and begins to tell him about how she can imagine him in ten years as a rockstar doctor with grey in his hair. She is proud of him and her overflow of kindness gets Alex concerned. Their conversation is interrupted when the interns approach with an update on “Patient X.”

After they leave, Yang, Grey, George and Alex try to figure out what the deal is with Patient X, and why it is keeping their interns too busy to do all their crap busy work. The discuss how their worried that Izzie is falling behind since she is never in the OR anymore and seems to care more about teaching the interns than proving herself. Then the worst insult is dropped when they worry that she is the new O’Malley. Who is standing right in the middle of the conversation. In true George form though, he takes it like a little girl and doesn’t respond.

Bailey arrives to deliver the day’s assignments. She places Karev with the Major who apparently after the sleepy attack on Yang doesn’t want to be around her. The Chief interrupts to ask Meredith when McD will be gracing Seattle Grace with his scruffy beat up presence. I hate when people do this. It’s like, uh I don’t know, I’m not his keeper, ask him! She reiterates for the third time this episode that he’s fine, ensuring a complete McD mental breakdown within the next 52 minutes.

Bailey is excited to finally see the Chief because she’s been trying to track him down all morning because she’d like his help on a case. The Chief snidely responds, what no peed’s today? And when she says, uh no…he tells her she must be slumming and stalks off. Ah it’s nice to see that professional work ethic runs strong in all levels of Seattle Grace.

We meet our first set of patients that we’ll call the Shelly trio. This is a set of three siblings who come from a family with a very strong hereditary strand of gastric cancer. The threesome have a ¾ chance of having this cancer that appears suddently and spreads rapidly, ultimately killing the patient. As it has with a significant portion of their family. Based on this, the trio has decided as a team to be proactive and have Dr. Bailey take out their stomachs so to not develop the cancer.

Down in trauma, Karev and House meet their emergency patient. It is a young girl who starting seizing during a football halftime marching band performance. Based on her situation the Major is torn on to hit her with the paddles or not. Not knowing what is wrong with her, the paddles will either save her, or kill her. Fifty/Fifty. It’s like casino night at Seattle Grace today. Right before the commercial break, the Major hits her the volt.

The 50/50 shot works and the girl comes too. As she begins to put together that she seized in the middle of the performance she is mortified. Really, you dressed your self in the ridunk green and yellow outfit and the seize is what you are embarrassed by? She begins to panic because the “seizure patrol” is going to kill her. The seizure patrol is two of her fellow band mates.

Situations like this crack me up. What does the casting call look for actors like this? “Looking for: Slightly overweight teenager with very light or red skin. Lisp and Acne a plus”

The nerds tell Karev that they are responsible for making sure Beth doesn’t choke on her tongue after her seize. They bitterly tell Karev that she ruined everything in the middle of their performance and they are super pissed at her. If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a million times, there is nothing worse than “The Mean Nerd.” Nice nerds rock my world, but the mean ones deserve to be stuffed in lockers. The Major leaves Karev to keep an eye on Beth to make sure she doesn’t crash, essentially baby sitting her. I’m guessing that somewhere as Yang prepares to cut out three stomachs, being removed from babysitting duty with the Major suddenly doesn’t seem that bad.

Speaking of the stomach threesome, Yang and Grey are reviewing the possible side effects of their surgery which include glorious symptoms such as “Dumping syndrome” and anal leakage. Apparently the stomach removal pumps olestra into your stomach. Upon learning these side effects two of the threesome begin to panic. The brother argues that he’s the president of his fraternity, likes to snowboard and has a girlfriend, he isn’t ready to become an old man with anal leakage. He’s mad because he’s only doing this because the older sister is making him and he’s tired of doing whatever she says. The other sister, who looks like a mix between Sadie and Megan Fox says she didn’t realize the surgery was so major, and needs to think about it some.

At the infamous white board, The Chief is trying to figure out how to get all the surgeries completed when all of the newbie Doctors keep quitting, Shepherd is MIA and Sloan’s hand is still out of commission. Sloan approaches the Chief to try and help out and damn his face looks like he got hit by a truck. I didn’t notice this earlier, but McD seriously F-ed him up! The Chief is complaining about Derek falling from existence and doesn’t know who will do his surgeries, when a tiny little man speaks up from the background. The Chief gives the surgery to Jim-as we learn his name to be. And we learn it at the same time that the Chief and Sloan learn his name, The Chief calls him John as he walks away.

Sloan approaches Jim to introduce himself and welcome him to Seattle Grace. Jim, however, has been at Seattle Grace for 10 years and was Chief of Neuro before McD and his fancy hair and experimental surgeries swooped in. He also reminds Sloan that they’ve met, three times. You see kids, even in the adult world the cool kids are still the cool kids, and the nerds are still ignored…until they get super rich.

Speaking of nerds, the bitchy band geeks are watching over Beth and complaining more about how she didn’t even deserve to be in the band. Karev, an obviously former cool kid, gets sick of the nerds bitching and sends them out of there. Beth tells Karev how difficult it is to keep friends when you can’t stop yourself from seizing at school. Which sucks but is understandable. Karev tell her to get over it since she can’t help it, but ultimately relates to Beth when she asks him how he’d feel if he seized every time he went into surgery. We also learn that Karev was a wrestler in high school, but I’m going to move past that and forgive him for that. But there are only so many things I can forgive…

Down in a more melodramatic part of the hospital, Grey finds McD brooding behind two stacks of folders. One smaller stack and one much larger stack. He tells her that during his deposition, they presented these two stacks to him which represent those he saved and those he killed. His super cheery mood is the giveaway on which is which. Grey reminds him that he needs to look at the big picture, because most of his patients were always terminal, they just came to him as their last chance. That or they went to him bc Dr. Kavorkian was in jail. He says that he killed more people then some of the most notorious serial killers in history combined. Ok, I kind of am beginning to feel him on this one. That’s tough to swallow. (That’sWhatSheSaid). Sorry, didn’t want to get too dark!

After he stalks of, The Chief catches up with him to beg him to operate. McD tells him he’s not operating and keeps walking. The Chief yells at him to do his job, and McD storms out of the hospital. McD is furious, his face is beat to hell, is suit is all messed up and DAMN if I’ve never found him hotter. I don’t know why, but he’s super sexy in this scene.

At lunch time, Yang and Grey go back and forth about who’s boyfriend is more mentally disturbed. They compare stories and keep going back and forth with Izzie watching from the sideline. Izzie finally interrupts to call these two out on talking incessantly, never processing what the other one said. FINALLY, somebody said it. But Izzie thinks it’s cute and imagines them as old women in senior center, yapping away to each other without listening. Weirdly enough, I can see that too. Izzie is obviously taking final stock of her life since she is obviously dying. I mean….Patient X is dying.

As Karev continues babysitting on the band nerd, he notices an irregularity in her heart that leads to a seizure.

The Chief, Yang, Grey and Bailey all work on stomach #1 out of the gastric trio. While working on her, the Chief and Bailey bicker back and forth like an old married couple about the best way to conduct surgery. The Chief also tells Bailey to go back to babysitting kids since that’s what she wants to do. Way to be an asshole Chief. While in the tummy, they find a tumor. The brother and sister are shocked to learn this, as she got tested a couple months ago and was fine. Luckily, finding it this early, she will be fine. The other sister upon learning this, opts to have the surgery too.

The interns are reviewing Patient X’s test results and come to the conclusion that she is fine. Izzie gets super pissed and yells at the interns to look again because they obviously missed something. She tells the interns that Patient X has massive hallucinations about her ex-fiancee who died! She also tells them that Patient X has short blond hair and is dating Karev.

Karev updates the Major and Arizona on what he saw in the band nerd before she seized. Basically what he saw on her heart monitor, would mean that she has a heart problem, not epilepsy. To treat this, they need to shock her heart. However if Karev is wrong, shocking the heart would kill the girl. Arizona is 100% against doing this because she thinks Karev saw wrong, but the Major lets Karev make the call. But no pressure!

Izzie finds George randomly sitting on a hospital bed either doing a crossword puzzle or reading the want ads, it’s hard to say. They laugh about how Yang thinks Izzie is the new George, but Izzie assures George that being like him, isn’t all that bad. This act of kindness gets George’s attention, and he asks Izzie about Patient X. Visibly uncomfortably, Izzie is saved by Little Grey, who has an update on Patient X. Izzie bolts leaving George to contemplate selling gold or donating plasma.

Little Grey excitedly tells Izzie that based on the results, she thinks whatever they missed, they missed because it’s already in her brain. Izzie sadly says, she thinks Little Grey is right.

In stomach surgery-the sequel, The Chief and Bailey have the same argument as before, only The Chief get’s all “THIS IS MY HOSPITAL, AND AS LONG AS YOU ARE UNDER MY ROOF YOU WILL DO AS I SAY” on the entire room. Bailey, who loves being reprimanded will obviously take this well. But for the time being, she avoids the landmine and does as she’s told.

Before Beth the band nerd’s surgery, Karev assures her she’s in great hands. Arizona approaches to check one more time that Karev is sure about what he’s doing. (Right in front of the patient? Nice.) Karev stands by his decision strongly. In Beth’s surgery, after shocking her, there is a 30 second time frame where it looks like Karev was wrong. He is about to shock her to fix his mistake, when she comes out of it. Arizona and the Major are shocked to see that Karev was right, and now they’ll be able to properly diagnose her. Karev saved he life and is completely freaked out by the thought that he was almost wrong and killed her. The Major congratulates Karev on saving her life.

In the gatric trio, the younger sister gets the update that her surgery went well and that she never had surgery. The older sister continues to encourgage the brother to go through with the surgery. I’m kind of agreeing with her dude. You were already told that you have a 3 out of 4 chance of getting the cancer…one sister had it, one sister didn’t…it doesn’t take a mathematician to figure out your odds. But he still declines the anal leakage operation.

Now the moment we’ve all been waiting for, the interns have a prognosis for Patient X. Little Grey speaks through a lot of medical mumbo jumbo, finally gets to the point. Patient X has malignant cancer that has already spread to the skin, lungs and brain. The interns all agree that she is pretty much screwed and should go ahead and enjoy her remaining days. Izzie confirms their findings and congratulates them on completing their assignment…finally. The interns, like the whiny brats they are, ask for what their prize is. I hate them. Izzie agrees with me, and says their prize is finally not screwing up and damaging their already tarnished reputation any further.

After Beth’s surgery, Karev gives her the good news that she has a pace maker inside of her, but nobody has to know. And she won’t continue seizing. The band mean nerds come in, not to see how she is, but to tell her that they didn’t win a trophy, and think it’d be best if next year she try out for chorus. I agree, Beth’s way too cute for these trolls anyways. Karev yells at the band nerds and tells them Beth is better and that none of them will ever be normal because their all band freaks. The trolls stalk off and Karev gives Beth a little wink. Pretty much guaranteeing that for the rest of Beth’s life she’ll continue to form crushes on Doctors and not know why.

Bailey, after trying to discuss the Chief’s outburst with him only to be ignored, goes for the jugular and calls in reinforcements-Adel. She calls Bailey and the Chief into a conference room. She yells at the Chief for acting like a child to Bailey all day and demands he apologize to her. He apologizes to a very smug Bailey. Adel, all magnificent in her bright pink top, leaves only to wipe Bailey’s smirk off her face. She reminds Bailey that calling a man’s wife to come in and lay down the law isn’t exactly mature either. I think we need more Adel on this show.

Always the suck-up, Lexie finds Izzie to thank her for the Patient X experience. She appreciated being able to treat a patient from beginning to end. Izzie, the former suck up and with a softness for her own kind, asks Little Grey how she would tell Patient X. I don’t know if she is teaching at this point, or actually looking for comfort. Lexie is at a loss though. What do you say to someone who has a 5% chance to live? Izzie tells Lexie that a choice has to be made, you either fight your ass off or you run from it.

On the other side of the emotional spectrum, the Major and Arizona congratulate Karev on an amazing job that day. They tell him that he is the future of that hospital. And in complete irony, the future of that hospital runs to share this news with Izzie…who’s future with that hospital is becoming progressively shorter. He is so excited and wants Izzie to drop the Patient X intern crap and be the great Doctor he knows she is. He wants them to be the future bad asses of the hospital together.

The Chief calls Bailey out on tattling on him to Adel. And Bailey calls the Chief out on treating her like crap every time she does something he doesn’t agree with, or sees as soft. Like having a baby, or going into peeds. She thinks that he only gets mad because deep down he fears that he has gone soft and that’s why the whole hospital is going to shit. He agrees but they both agree that under no circumstances does that warrant telling on you to your spouse.

Yang finds the Major putting together his schedule for the next day. She interrupts him to assign herself to his cases. He begins to protest but she again tells him that its going to take a lot more than a couple bad dreams, ex-fiancees and fully clothed showers to scare her away. He assures her that there is still more. She comforts him by stroking his head, as she knows the crazy has just begun.

You’re like my very own Irish setter