Grey’s Anatomy: The Big 100

This week on Grey’s Anatomy, put on your top hats kids because not only is it the 100th episode, but it is the wedding we have been anticipating for five seasons. And in preparation for this wedding, ABC has been gracious enough to make Meredith likable the past few episodes reminding us of why we wanted her to marry Hottie McDreamy in the first place. So get out your tissues and be ready to do the Twist, the YMCA and the Chicken Dance because it’s wedding time on Grey’s.

*Sidenote-I know that an amazing season finale aired last week and I really want to talk about that, but let us pretend that it is a week ago and I’m not super late. The episode kicks off with Izzie outer monologing the usual inner monologue. And, damn she looks awful. Her hair is already all gone and she is talking as if even breathing is causing her extreme difficulty. When did she lose her hair? Last week she was rivaling Anthony Marentino from SATC and now she looks like the final scene of Stepmom. She is talking about how you don’t know the morning of the best day of your life, that it will be the best day of your life. It starts out normal, and slowly becomes the best day ever.

Mer and Der check out the church that will be wedding them that night. They confirm that it’s just a normal day that will end in this overly churchy church with a ceremony. They both realize it has little to do with them, as they had nothing to do with the planning. And now, off to work. I get that you aren’t into weddings, but at least take the day off of work. Weddings are way easier and more fun if you keep a steady amount of alcohol pumped in your blood stream for the entirety of the day. Especially for the bride and groom. Trust me.

Its morning at Seattle Grace and Torres is waking up in a small plastic chair to Yang bitching at her. First, Torres…thanks for being the only person on TV who actually looks like they just woke up. Even the girls on the rock of love bus wake up with a 1/2 face full of makeup, granted the other half is smeared all over Bret and Big John’s cock. But I look like a character from 28 Days later when I wake up. Anyways, Yang is bitching because they both spent the night at the hospital.

Yang only slept there because Torres was supposed to be banging Arizona all night and Yang wanted to give them their space. But a night of passion was not in the cards for Torres who instead picked up extra shifts at the ER, and now has to go straight to work. Because remember…she’s poor. So now she has to work overtime. I love the idea of an ER doctor working all day, then overnight, sleeping for a couple hours in a chair, then going back to work. I hope I have an accident so I can have that stellar care!

Torres leaves an exhausted Yang and heads to heal the injured. Grey walks in and Yang turns on the Maid of Honor face, and she rocks it. She talks in the fake super happy voice and asks Meredith how’s she’s feeling on the big day. See if you were pumping alcohol into the bloodstream you the fake happy voice would be way easier Yang. Maid of honor mistake number one. Mer stops her and tells her to be normal, making Yang’s face fall back into place instantly. Yang makes sure that Grey isn’t about to flip out, pre-wedding style, because you know she’s a doctor and that is typically frowned upon. But Grey is like, this wedding isn’t even about me. It’s just a show we’re putting on for the real Bridezilla, Izzie.

Meanwhile Bridezilla is doing something that all Bridezilla’s do, which I never will understand. Talking incessantly about every detail of her wedding. Why do people think anyone cares about this? It’s like when parents talk about their kid’s poop. Nobody cares, shut up! But she is telling Bailey and Karev all about the flowers and the dresses while they are trying to check up on her. She confirms that hell or high water, she will be at that wedding, so no arguments from either of them. In this scene Izzie’s got all her hair, indicating that the opening scene was at the end of the day. After Bailey and Karev leave, Izzie scratches her head and finds that a chunk of her hair has fallen out.

After realizing her hair was falling out, she looked up to see Denny standing there. I audibly said, COME ON! To my TV screen at this point. He’s retired his sweaty grey t-shirt for a black button up indicating that he’s no longer a comfy time waster for Izzie. He now indicates death. This isn’t lost on Izzie who tells him that she knows what it means that he’s there but she’s still going to the wedding. She tells him so defiantly it’s like, what does he care? He’s a hallucination you bang not your mom.

Karev and George join a sleepy Torres in the trauma pit and ask what she’s got for them. She tells them to take a load off because it’s a slow day down there. They warn her that saying that is a jinx and to prepare for the worst. On cue, the telephone rings giving Torres an “Oh shit” face and sending Karev and George running to prepare for whatever is incoming.

Yang and the Major have a boring encounter in the hall where the Major tells Yang that her ceiling fans caused the knee jerk reaction of making him try to choke her to death. Then for some reason when he tries to hold her hand she leaves. Some girls just don’t understand verbal foreplay.

In the trauma ward, the patients begin rolling in fast and furiously. A semi-truck hit a suburban full of eight teenagers on their way to graduation and so far they’ve only found three of the kids. On the way TO graduation? Way to miss an easy PSA opportunity ABC about the perils of drinking after graduation. And so close to the end of the school year? You should be ashamed. The Major joins Torres and they begin to check on the kids who are there. The first patient asks about her boyfriend and tells them that she is the valedictorian and her life was supposed to start today. She hasn’t done anything else up to this point but school and she can’t die before she has lived. But no pressure Karev.

The next patient frantically asks for his girlfriend as Yang tries to calm him down. Patient #3 is being treated by George and describing what his friends were wearing before the crash and why they all have to live to graduate. As patient #3 is talking he begins to “coat.” I don’t know what that means, but on this show it usually doesn’t end well.

In Bridezilla’s cage, Shepherd reports for duty after being paged. She begins going through a checklist of wedding day chores to make sure he has done everything. Did you pay the caterer? Check. Did you call the DJ? Check. Did you replace Meredith’s botox solution with water so her face can show emotion when you wed? Shit. He reminds Izzie that he is a doctor, at work, and that this is super inappropriate. She changes gears and admits that isn’t the real reason why he paged her though he should at least slip Mer a muscle relaxer so she won’t look quite to pinchy faced all night. She tells him that Denny is back but that he is wearing nicer clothes, so it’s probably another tumor but maybe a fancier one.

The Chief is at the whiteboard joined by Grey. He paged her to give her a wedding gift from Derek. Way to keep that professional distance from Grey, Chief. Are you going to ask to talk her down the aisle too? She begins to argue with him because it seems so silly to give each other wedding gifts. The chief interrupts to tell her it is an inflamed colon. I gave my husband a lot of ass on our wedding day, but this definitely outdoes that. Plus I haven’t been inflamed since years before we met. She smiles realizing her present is a solo surgery. Yay for weddings! Usually the asshole comes out after your married, but not for these non-traditionalists.

In the midst of the chaos, Sloan approaches Torres to discuss her thoughts on the upcoming nuptials. She reminds him that she’s a little busy trying to save 8 college grads who got hit by a semi, jackass. He slinks off telling her she’s got it all under control and that giving up sleep really suits her. Torres continues to try to keep calm and Arizona approaches to discuss their relationship. The plan was for them to get it on last night, and instead Torres slept at the hospital. Arizona launches into a checklist of questions that you can find on wilkepedia under: Annoying things girls say and why men break up with them. Torres doesn’t have time for this shit and leaves.

George’s patient after coating dies. George pumps his heart for 20 minutes until the Major comes in and forces him to stop pumping. George is reluctant to agree because the kid was supposed to graduate. The Major insists and leave a furious George and the patient he couldn’t save.

Bailey prepares Izzie for another MRI and tells her she might not have a tumor. Insert timeless Kindergarten Cop quote here. Izzie knows it’s a tumor though because Denny, dressed in black, is standing right behind her, and says hello. Bailey asks Izzie to tell Denny she said go home. Bailey just spoke for 94% of the season 5 Grey’s Anatomy Denny.

The valedictorian is crying to Karev how she should have had sex with her boyfriend. She didn’t because she was so focused on school, and she didn’t have sex with him, and now he’s dead…Ah, now there is a PSA I can get behind. Bang your boyfriends girls! Who knows when they’ll get hit by a semi and die. Take that Bristol Palin and your hypocritical abstinence tour.

Yang’s patient asks about his girlfriend Dana. Yang asks about his family to change the subject, but they all live in another country which is where he’ll be shipped back to after he graduates. He gets into a speech about how he tried to break up with Dana since he was leaving, but when you love someone…even if it’s wrong, you can’t stay away. On cue, the Major walks in reminding Yang that chokers need love too.

George’s next patient has blood pouring like water onto the floor. George frantically tries to save him, but he instantly begins to flat line. George continues pounding on his chest refusing to lose another patient, but everyone else looks at him knowing it’s hopeless.

Grey is suited up and ready for her solo surgery when she is joined by a scrubbed in chief. She asks him why he isn’t sitting in the corner reading a magazine or scheduling parental interventions with the residents since this is her solo surgery. Grey promises she won’t kill someone through the colon on her wedding day. After requesting the scalpel, the Chief interrupts saying, well done, very impressive. This won’t get annoying at all.

Speaking of annoying, Sloan finds Torres to ask again about the marital bliss she foresees for Der and Mer’s future. Even if she wasn’t busy, this ongoing conversation would be annoying. They are however interrupted by Arizona continuing to break every single one of “the rules” by asking Torres again why their date went so wrong. Because, she continues, if Torres was so tired why is she working in the ER on her day off? I predict a “I am poor now, so I have to work so hard just to make ends meet, even though I am a doctor” speech coming later this episode. I’m on pins and needles.

Izzie sits somberly with Der and Bailey reviewing her brain scans. Nobody can find anything, but Izzie knows there is a tumor, otherwise why would she be seeing Denny. Other than the fact that the writers truly hate their audience. Izzie tells them that this of all days, on the day of the perfect wedding she planned, she wouldn’t have told them about Denny if he wasn’t there. She wants to go to the wedding. Then Derek says the words that I wait to hear every episode, “It’s never been done before..” Experimental procedure??!! Woo hoo! We haven’t seen one of those in like 2 episodes! He says if they can test the brain while the hallucination is there, they can find it. Is there a part of the brain that harbors annoyance? I’d start looking for Denny there.

George’s next patient begins to come in, and even before he has a chance to kill her, she dies. Yang realizes by her clothes, that it’s her patient’s girlfriend. She tries to get the dead girl out of there, but before she can her patient comes wandering in the hall. Upon seeing his girlfriend he collapses and I’m pretty sure I heard someone say he’s coating. RIP Yang’s patient. And uh, way to keep an eye on him Yang.

In the middle of the Seattle Grace killing field, Arizona returns to push herself over the edge from whiny needy girl, to girl who make me ashamed of our gender. Asking things like, “Oh the ER is fun, but I’m not?” etc. She tries to throw down the ultimatum by asking if Torres just wants to end it, and Torres answers yes, let’s end it. And at that point between how annoying Arizona is being and the fact that the only reason she is working in the ER on this day is because her parents took all her money because she was dating Arizona, I think she really means it.

Meanwhile in Grey’s solo surgery, the Chief is making tisk tisk noises every time Grey makes a move. He quickly passively tells her that she is doing fine, albeit not doing what he would do, when they are interrupted by Sloan. Sloan is preparing for Derek’s best man speech the sequel and wants to make sure he won’t have to prepare a third speech one day. If you catch his drift. I dunno Sloan, are you going to sleep with his wife this time destroying their marriage?

Bailey straps all the wires to Izzie preparing to find her tumor. Bailey asks Izzie if her hallucinations are always Denny because that is who she loves. Izzie corrects her and says that Denny comes because she associates him with death, which doesn’t really explain why she ghost banged him but whatev. Karev she associates with love. Bailey smiles very motherly, aww sometimes I really love Bailey. Izzie puts the pressure on because she doesn’t want Derek to be late to his wedding waiting for Denny to show up and you know ghosts have a terrible sense of time.

Karev is about to put the valedictorian under for surgery and she asks about her friends. She is completely panicked but Karev doesn’t want to upset her before her surgery. He asks her to tell him her speech, and she begins to eloquently give her speech. As she speaks we see body bag after body bag of her friends being zipped up, Meredith in surgery and Izzie pleading with Denny to appear. Every other patient in the car dies, Meredith completes the surgery successfully and Izzie starts to angrily yell at Denny for showing up all those times when she (and all of us) didn’t want him, and now when she doesn’t want him he doesn’t. And just when were about to curse how unreliable ghosts are today, Denny appears allowing Derek to find the tumor.

Derek and Bailey look at the tumor which is so small that it couldn’t be caught by a normal MRI. Due to the location and the size, Bailey asks Derek how he’s going to get it out. They are both quiet and Derek finally says he wishes there was something he could do because he likes Izzie. After a moment, Bailey tells him there is.

Elsewhere in the hospital, Torres realizes the downside of dating women, and does what most men do after dealing with a needy chick like Arizona. And on cue…Arizona approaches to discuss their relationship.

Torres finally erupts into the “I’m poor” conversation that we knew was eventually coming. She tells Arizona that the restaurant they went to was so fancy that she wouldn’t have been able to eat for the rest of the week if she had paid for her part of the meal because she is broke. She goes on to say that she is working in the ER because she needs the money and six people died on her watch and she needs a break. Arizona sweetly apologizes, as the girl always does after we realize how irrational and annoying we’ve been, and they make up.

Grey wraps up the surgery and the Chief congratulates her. He tells her that her mom would be very proud of her today. Not because she is marrying a world famous brain surgeon, but from her first successful solo surgery. Post surgery she finds Derek and thanks her for the best gift ever. She is not excited to go play dress up with David’s Bridal’s rejects, but is thrilled because she got to cut someone open and save a life today. Derek asks her if she wants to make the day even better.

George looks over the bloody aftermath of his day in the OR. The Major congratulates him on a good day, to which George is like….WTF? Every person he touched died. The only one who lived George didn’t get near. The Major reminds George that trauma is a team sport and he did well.

Outside, Karev has gotten the news that Izzie has a tumor in her brain that Derek can’t remove. He cries to Grey that he thinks she is going to die. He asks Grey why she is still at the hospital when there is a wedding she is supposed to be at. Grey tells him that is actually what she wanted to talk about. And even though I figured this was coming for a couple weeks…and even though Justin Chambers was on GMA saying it was Mer and Der’s wedding…and even though it wasn’t a shock, this was officially the moment where my eyes began to well up. Damn you Grey’s Anatomy. Even though I hate you sometimes, I still love you. This is like an abusive relationship, I just can’t quit you damnit.

Bailey is in Izzie’s room in full wedding apparel and woo woo, Bailey! She’s looking pretty ferosh. She looks around anxiously as Izzie is trying to get ready. Izzie is like….um, hello? Can you help me? Because Bailey is obviously distracted. Meredith rushes in, undressed with her hair in rollers and Izzie is freaks out because Meredith is supposed to be at the church. Dress in hand, Meredith tells her that the dress isn’t hers, that she can’t wear it. Izzie rolls her eyes saying she knew Meredith would freak out like this. She begins to launch into the speech about how marriage is good and Derek loves Meredith and she has to go and put the dress on.

Bailey interrupts again, changing the emphasis in the sentence saying that the dress isn’t HERS…Meredith’s dress that is. And they are joined by Karev wearing a tux and a smile agreeing that the dress isn’t for Meredith, it’s for Izzie. It’s so cheesy and so predictable yet so sweet.

At the church, Mer and Yang put the finishing touches on Izzie including flowers in the hair, earrings, IV and an oxygen tank. But it all works, the oxygen is borrowed, the dress is old (since it was Meredith’s,) Yang and Meredith are both being incredibly unselfish so that’s something new and the bride is in a wheelchair so the whole congregation is blue. Meredith’s hair looks like a complete rats nest. She should have just kept the curlers in. Yang looks gorgeous. They ask who the maid of honor is and Izzie says that Yang is, since Karev needs a best man.

The wedding begins and the church is surprisingly full for two people I didn’t think had any friends other than the hospital people. Izzie begins to walk down the aisle to a mixture of smiles and tears. Surprisingly nobody looks confused or is checking their program asking…”who’s the bride? I thought we were here to see Dr. Shepherd and that whore he cheated on Addison with.” Halfway down the aisle Izzie begins to falter and looks like she’s about to fall over. Just before she grips the side of the aisle her old BFF steps in and offers his hand. He walks her the rest of the way down the aisle. And I officially begin to weep. What can I say, I’m a sucker for weddings, people dying before their prime and best friends making amends, and this is a perfect blend of all three.

The ceremony begins and everyone is in attendance. I don’t know who is running the hospital but hopefully there aren’t any traumas. Even the shitty interns are there. But everyone looks very nice, especially Arizona. Yowza! Guess she knew she needed to step it up a little after being such an obnoxious brat today. When the minister gets to the vows Karev tells them he has prepared something. He begins the speech the valedictorian gave earlier only modified for a wedding and not a graduation. It sounds kind of like the speech given by a 13 year old on his bar mitzvah but it’s still very sweet and touching. Even if he’s only committing to getting married because he thinks Izzie is about to die.

When they kiss at the end everyone claps and cheers and gives significant glances to their loved one, or former loved ones or the ones they want to be their loved ones and George.

The episode ends with Izzie back at the hospital continuing her earlier monologue about the best day of your life. Karev brings her to her bed and more of her hair falls off. Alex tells her to relax it’s just hair and he thinks she’d be a hot baldy. Izzie begins to bawl. As her monologue continues we see the other story lines wrapping up. Torres and Arizona eat pizza together naked in bed, Yang ceremoniously taking the fan that drove Owen to choke down from her ceiling and Grey and Derek enjoying the honeymoon suite.

We get back to Izzie who is now donning the scarf and continuing to talk about the best days of ones life and the camera reveals that she is telling this story to Denny. Vomit. He tells her that he bets she was a beautiful bride. Alex comes in with champagne and tells her she doesn’t need the scarf, she’s hot without it, and he takes it off.

And there you have it. The 100th episode. The last episode before the 2 hour finale. Which I am really excited about recapping so hopefully that one will follow shortly. Is it just me, or are these episodes becoming sadder and sadder. And now that she’s married to Karev I really kind of want to keep Katherine Heigl around. Maybe they could let her live, but not keep her as a doctor. She could be a candy striper or something. Also when they had George walk Izzie down the aisle I thought that was really sad. It reminded me how much I liked them being good friends. It just worked. Anyways, sorry for the lateness, thanks for your patience! Finale is coming soon! And then we have 3 longs months of the abysmal abyss which is summer television.