Grey’s Anatomy: The Diaper reflects the episode

Well it figures that after an awesome episode of Grey’s Anatomy, we are followed by this crappy filler. I just don’t understand why after such a killer episode we then get this one. I literally could recap this episode in about 3 paragraphs, but I’ll give a bit more description than that. The one plus side of this episode?

It’s monologued by this guy….

It’s gonna take more than this head of hair to save this sinking ship, although it’s a good start. We start the episode listening to Derek explain why one becomes a surgeon. He kisses Mer goodbye and heads to the hospital as he tells us that he got into surgery for the enjoyment of the quiet. He randomly asks Yang how she is doing to which she is instantly suspicious. He confirms that Meredith was worried about Yang which is why he is asking, and why Yang is assigned to his surgeries today. She is mildly interested in Der’s case but more annoyed at Mer’s annoying overly lip implanted mouth.

The Chief gathers everyone around the assignment white board to discuss a new change that he has implemented. Instead of everyone writing in their surgeries, a computer will randomly assign them. This will avoid favoritism and hospital politics. Der is instantly skeptical and asks everyone if they are sick of all the changes. The Chief interuupts him to remind him who’s boss, and that this change is sticking so deal with it.

We then randomly see Pixie doing this as Karev walks in.

Trying to incite the obvious building sexual tension between Karev and Pixie.

Karev and Pixie’s daily sexual argument is interrupted by Yang who asks Karev if Izzie has confirmed her cancer treatment which is scheduled for this week. Yang, did you miss the whole smashing of the phone incident from last episode. Izzie isn’t exactly being the best phone buddy. Karev is sure that despite being a shit wife and a terrible wig model, Izzie isn’t an idiot and she won’t miss her treatment. Pixie randomly calls Karev a douche and walks away. Why not just pull his hair Pixie, wouldn’t that be easier?

Derek is reviewing scans alone when he is joined by a nurse named Isaac. Isaac has scans he wants to share with Derek and puts them on the board. Derek is shocked by what he sees, as it appears to be a spinal tumor that is so large Derek concludes that the patient is either paralyzed or dead. Isaac contradicts him by saying that in fact those scans belong to him, and he wants Derek to operate on him. Derek says he would love to operate on a tumor like this, but it’s impossible and would never be allowed.

Turns out that Isaac’s scan wasn’t the only secret he had up his sleeve. He lets Derek know that he specifically became a nurse at that hospital to meet McD after months of research on who is the country’s best neurosurgeon. He not only wanted the best…but the riskiest, and after marrying Meredith, Isaac knows that there is nobody braver, nobody riskier, than Derek.

I mean, come on….that’s a brave groom.

One by one all the doctors get word of Isaac’s brain tumor. They join Derek in the MRI room as he reviews the scans. All of them are blown away by the size of the tumor, but even more than that, they are shocked the Derek is even considering such a monumentally dangerous surgery. Lexie tells them about a similar surgery that took 17 hours and involved four rotating doctors and one fortunate intern whose only responsibility was to administer fluids. Yang calms Lexie down reminder her that she is on Derek’s service and that this tumor has her name on it. Suddenly cardio doesn’t look so glamorous huh Yang?

Derek finds Bailey looking over the scan. She is also in awe of the gargantuan tumor and calls it the Great White of all tumors. As a friend she tells him she would love to do that surgery, and that a surgeon could retire on that kind of tumor. She is almost passionate about the tumor as she tells him how dangerous it is. But dangerous like Edward Cullen, not dangerous like H1N1.

On the other end of the spectrum is the Chief who gives it a big thumbs down. He does not condone the surgery, and tells him that this type of surgery is why hospitals get fired. The on-going power struggle between the Chief and McD explodes when Derek calls the Chief out on being scared. The two of them argue, and the Chief puts his foot down telling him that the tumor is inoperable and that the answer is no.

We then cut to him telling Meredith that he booked the surgery and that he is taking the tumor out. What’s the only way to make McD sexier? Make him a bad boy.

And I just got a little hotter.

Back at the hospital, Derek has all the residents gathered for a medical audition for who gets to join him in the marathon surgery. He has set up a precision test that one by one they all take to see who will join him. Yang sits back and confidently talks shit to the others as she waits for her turn. Jackson is up second to last and he nails it. McD is impressed as Yang strides up to take her turn. She quickly bones it and the surgery is assigned to Jackson. Yang looks on stunned and devastated.

Sloan, Torres and Arizona confront Derek as word of him going rouge has spread and they all have different reactions. Sloan thinks that he’s doing it to rebel against the Chief. Torres thinks its bad ass, and Arizona is afraid and doesn’t want to know any more about it. Lexie finds Derek with a bone of her own to pick. Everyone was paged to the skills audition except for her and she wants to know why, since she is her sister. Sister? Really? Your half, kinda sister, married-kinda this guy via post-it. I don’t know that I’d start buying brother in law Christmas cards just yet.

McD assigns Lexie her own super special assignment that he picked out just for her! Instead of getting to be apart of the surgery, she gets to be his Doctor. He needs someone monitoring his fluids and his well being, and that job goes to Lexie. This totally sounds like when parents make up fake jobs to shut kids up from being annoying. But it is Lexie, so it seems fitting. After getting her super special assignment, she finds Jackson and gloats about her assignment for the surgery.

Jackson laughs it off telling Lexie that it sounds like she’s McD’s bitch, but uh….have fun with that. He pushes the knife in a little farther when he tells her that it sounds neat. She tells him that even he will need her help, as at some point he’ll have to pee. She says this as she takes a swig of her drink and Jackson is like, yeah I stopped drinking an hour ago but have fun playing nurse, dumbass. Lexie looks terrified at this realization.

Does this mean I should stop bedazzling my Special Helper nametag?

Yang finds the terrified Lexie pondering over a diaper in a private room. Lexie instantly mortified and swears she wasn’t going to use it, she was just thinking about it for the super long surgery. Yang is impressed and demands that Lexie wear the diaper. Yang thinks it makes her hardcore and like a NASA doctor. Yang also dates a guy that strangles her in her sleep, so uh….maybe not the best confidante.

A large butted and uncomfortable Lexie joins Jackson and McD as they wheel Isaac past the chief who is showing board members the new computer system. McD threatens to fire anyone who says anything to the chief about the rogue surgery, including Isaac. They make it past him without getting caught, and are ready to go AWOL.

Before the surgery, Derek tells Isaac that if he gets inside the body and sees that he can’t get the tumor out without paralyzing him, he’s going to stop. Isaac then goes through all the people he has lost in his life, and it’s literally…..like every single person he has ever known. He has also lost his country, his jobs, his car, the list really goes on forever. So basically losing his legs it no big deal. This guy has had some shit luck.

An hour in Derek gets into the back he sees that the tumor is worse than he realized from the MRI. He begins to try and figure it out.

Yang watches from above angrily jealous of Lexie having the opportunity to be hard core and pee in the diaper. She tries to explain this to the Major who can’t get past the diaper. Meanwhile in the surgery, we are passing hour eight, and Lexie encourages Derek to take a break, or bend his legs or hydrate or something. While she is saying this, Jackson calls her out on the diaper and begins to make fun of her. Derek yells at them to shut up and threatens the next person that enters the OR to speak is off the surgery.

Meanwhile Bailey comes in to let Derek and his totally authorized surgery know that the Chief will be operating across the hall from him shortly, and since its been eight hours and Derek hasn’t made a single cut or done anything….he might want to make a move before the Chief comes and catches him.

We are then treated to another we hate each other, but we are so obviously going to hook up soon moment brought to you by Karev and Pixie.

Yeah, can I call and order flowers in advance since I’m going to be hooking up with a co-worker the same episode that my wife with cancer comes back? Yeah? Awesome, thanks.

Torres, Arizona and Sloan are outside the Derek’s surgery discussing it when they are overheard by the Chief. He catches on to the rogue surgery and busts into Derek’s OR. He tells Derek to stop the surgery, which has now reached the 10-hour mark. Derek stands stoically as the Chief tells him of all the money and all the time he has wasted today. Jackson and Lexie watch on uncomfortably as the parents argue, unsure of what to do. After a few moments of silence, Derek concedes, more so because he doesn’t think he can treat the tumor than the fact that the Chief is telling him too.

Derek meets with Isaac after the surgery and apologizes for not being able to remove the tumor without paralyzing him. Isaac understands and tells Derek they will try again tomorrow.

At home Derek explains to Meredith how he stood in the OR for 10 hours and did nothing. The two of them begin to discuss the tumor and Derek explains what it looked like inside. After being able to articulate himself, he pulls out a sharpie and begins to draw out the tumor for Mer on the wall. The two of them stay up all night discussing it, and while it’s the most un-sexy pillow talk ever, it’s very sweet.

If Patrick Dempsey had drawn on my wall as a laid in bed while I was in college, I could have aced med school too

Derek, Lexie and Jackson meet with the Chief with a plan for the surgery with Isaac. They tell him the plan, which involves cutting the chord. The Chief approves it and gives them a maximum of 2 hours in the OR for the surgery. Once he leaves McD goes Rogue the sequel starts. He has a new plan of what to do, but don’t tell the Chief. When McD leaves Jackson is excited by how bad ass McD is, and Lexie is terrified. Jackson warns her to not wet her diaper, and Lexie defends her hard core diaper and tells Jackson to kiss her diaper ass.

Elsewhere the Major finally acts like a good boyfriend and gets Yang on a good surgery. It might take around 15 hours so she better suit up. We then see her and Lexie all puffy diaper assed walking proudly down the hall to surgery.

Congratulations, we finally have the most moronic storyline to date.

The surgery begins and it is intense. Sloan comes in to help watch over things and Yang watches from above on the phone with Meredith. At one point after a particularly intense scare that they were about to lose him, Derek throws up everywhere. Maybe it’s because you haven’t ate or drank in like 48 hours. Afterwards he looks like complete shit and Lexie forces him to drink water.

The Chief is roaming the hall, since when does he do anything other than sit in his office and pout, by the way? Anyways, he is roaming the hall when he sees the Major. The Major, who was kicked out of his OR for Derek’s secret surgery is busted. The Chief is like, why are you here? And the Major claims that Torres had to take the OR, and guess who walks up just then? Torres. The Chief knows quickly he’s been hoodwinked again, and I swear I feel like I’m watching Zach Morris outsmart Mr. Belding.

The Chief is just about to burst in until the final barrier stops him. Arizona calls him a bully and won’t allow him into the room. He storms off and Arizona breaks down into tears by the confrontation.

Day becomes night as we reach hour 21. I’m sorry but I don’t want someone cutting inside me who hasn’t slept, eaten, drank, or peed in 21 hours inside my body. Is this real? I’m sure real doctors are too busy and important to read TVGasm, but I’d love to insight onto if this is accurate or not.

All of a sudden Jackson’s hand begins to cramp up and spasm. Derek calls Jackson out on staying dehydrated so that Lexie wouldn’t have a shot at the surgery. Jackson’s hand won’t stop shaking which is causing problems in the surgery, so Lexie gets to step in.

I’m so excited I’m peeing my pants, no really….I literally just peed in the diaper.

At hour 26 Derek has removed all of the tumor, there is one more cut he has to make blind. It’s very red chord or blue chord moment. Everybody watches in anticipation because the right cut, Isaac lives and Derek has performed an impossible surgery, the wrong cut, Isaac dies after a 26 hour surgery. Derek makes the cut and everyone is on pins and needles about if the cut was right. Except for me, because this episode has sucked so bad there was literally no anticipation about it.

Turns out the cut was the right one. Shocking. Isaac wakes up, and the tumor is out and Isaac isn’t paralyzed. Derek is a surgery God.

Holy shit….that hair and a genius. Tell me why you married Meredith again?

Meanwhile in the forgotten storyline, Karev has waited all day for Izzie to show up for her treatment and she didn’t. But guess who is there to comfort him? I give him and Pixie 4 episodes and they will hook up just in time for Izzie to catch them during sweeps.

At the end of the episode the Major finds Yang trying again on the earlier surgery audition. The Major gives her some pointers and he nails it. They have a sweet moment, but I’m on board with the folks from the board last week. Let’s bring back Burke. I’m ready for some hot Burke/Yang cardio action. The Major was a flash in the pan for me and now I’m over it.

And proving you can’t teach an old dog new tricks, we find the Chief writing on the assignment board instead of the computer system. Chief, it’s not the computer’s fault that Derek did whatever the hell he wanted today. Ah well. Derek finds him there, to gloat presumably, in hopes that they can stop the fighting and move on. The Chief turns around and fires Derek.

Derek takes a deep breath and tells him to go home and think about it, they can talk tomorrow. Derek has gone straight up bad ass. He goes home to Meredith who is desperate to hear the story, but he instantly falls asleep. You don’t get to be that beautiful without a little beauty rest.

This episode was such a snoozer. I get that we have two weeks of snoozers before sweeps but COME ON. Anyways, I do agree that I think we should bring Burke back., they won’t, but they should. And Kim Raver? Is that a fact? She is like the anti-christ to any show. The only person worse in Lindsay Price and she has her own ABC show to ruin. Anyways, I predict the next episode to be crap, then we should have a two or three episode interesting story arc.

Till then!