Grey’s Anatomy: A Playground for the Dead

This week’s Grey’s Anatomy hosts more dead people than Turner Classic Movies. The episode kicks off with Meredith, who is up late gabbing on the phone with her best gal pal about American Idol and Ryan Gosling. Her gal pal Yang keeps interrupting to discuss crazy dead mom’s journals. Apparently they are chocked full of surgical insight and have no personal emotional crap. With no crazy emotional crap, how did crazy dead mom ever work at Seattle Grace? More importantly, how did she produce someone as self-centered as Meredith? Yang is eating this shit up and calls it her version of Harry Potter. Harry Potter is so 2007, try Twilight, Yang. Apparently the late night girl talk is keeping Derek up at night and keeping him from his beauty sleep. And when McD misses out on his beauty sleep, it ain’t pretty.

It ain’t easy being one of PEOPLE magazine’s most beautiful

Morning comes and we find Bailey bitching about marriage counseling. Derek tries to ease her worries by confirming that he and Addison did that too, and we KNOW how well that went! Mid-conversation McD yawns and complains that the Yang/Mer friendship is keeping him up at night, and not in a sexy way. Bailey laughs and reminds him that those two are a pair, like peanut butter and jelly or Sienna Miller and syphilis.

We are then introduced to Stan, a robot patient for the residents and interns to practice on. He even speaks! Apparently the pigs were too complicated so they needed something that even this group can’t kill. The residents also find out there is a solo surgery up for grabs, and whoever can make it through the day without killing someone or having sex in the on call room will get to perform it. Now they are all on high alert to be picked.

Meredith and Izzie get assigned to Hahn’s services. They learn that Hahn is personally attached to the patient, and we know what that means-dead. She explains that this patient has been on a donor list for a long time. As Meredith reviews his chart we learn that this guy was supposed to get the heart that Izzie stole for Denny, right before she killed him. I’m sure Izzie will handle this very well.

Our bro scene this week takes place in the elevator. Derek asks Mc Steamy to have sex with Yang to distract her from Meredith. Steamy doesn’t appreciate being McD’s stud horse and finds Yang unfun and is too serious, and he’s sure that she won’t appreciate the Noxema girl joining them. McD argues that she is a single malt scotch and will be a nice break from Sloan’s usual beer bongs. Steamy continues to argue, but McD throws down the gauntlet by reminding McSteamy that he slept with his wife, so surely he can handle one uptight doctor.

You’re just not gonna let that go, are you Bro?

In a downstairs corridor, Lexie is skulking around all alone and discovers her fellow interns practicing IVs on themselves. They look like they were just busted by a nark and beg her not to tell. Lexis is becoming the kid at camp who tried so hard to get the counselors to like them that they never make friends with the other campers, and in the end, everyone hates them.

Since even the Chief has emotional connections with all the residents (cough….life long affair with Grey’s mom…) he asks House for an unbiased opinion to help determine who is awarded the solo surgery. Someone who doesn’t know about the marital affairs, heart-stealing, on call room sex, panties on the bulletin board staff shenanigans. An incoming trauma interrupts this discussion and Yang is completely focused….on who will get the solo surgery. House gets irritated by her lack of focus on the patient and he starts to redeem himself with me for the whole pig surgery.

We meet the patient who lost his transplant to Denny as Hahn, Mer and Iz explain an experimental surgery. The surgery will basically induce a heart attack by pumping alcohol into his system and he has to stay awake throughout. That isn’t experimental, I do it every Saturday during college football. Izzie’s job is to talk him through the surgery and relieve his stress. That’s what she spent five years and hundreds of thousands of dollars in med school on? To talk? Oooh, tell him the one about the time you stole his heart! While they are talking to him, Izzie sees Denny walk. I’d be stoked if my doctor started hallucinating a couple hours before an experimental surgery.

After the consultation Izzie completely panics to Grey because the patient is in the same room that Denny was in, with the same problems and they almost had the same heart. Apparently it’s “A lot of Denny” “too much Denny” Which is funny because that is what I said about the entire third season. Izzie also wants to see if Grey saw Denny walking down the hall. I’m guessing she didn’t, because HE’S DEAD.

I was just kidding about last year–I really DO want an Emmy!

In another room, George and Alex are working with the robot and comparing “sex with Izzie” stories. Just think George, if you play your cards right, you could also compare “sex with Lexie” stories! The robot, who is turning out to be kind of a smart ass, insults Karev until he leaves. George finds this hilarious until the doll starts spewing blood and has a heart attack.

I’m not having sex with this unless someone gets it a wig. And some heels!

Meanwhile, House, Yang, Torres and Lexie are working on the unidentified trauma patient who is in awful shape. Yang instructs Lexie to go prepare the morgue. House is super pissed and again I agree with him. Um, at least attempt to save him before picking out his casket. No wonder you guys are #12. It’s not like you guys are overly swamped! Two of your doctors are playing with a doll and one is hallucinating dead ex-fiancées, I think you are good.

Bailey and McD meet the final patients for the episode who are an old couple. They explain that the woman is about to have very dangerous surgery that she doesn’t need to have, because she can live with the tumor for a bit. Assuming she is ok with blinding pain and no energy. She understands the risks but wants to move forward. She says this while signing a do not resuscitate form. Apparently she doesn’t want to live on life support. The old couple say their goodbyes, which they do every surgery so that they can say hello once it is successful.

If you don’t get her through this surgery I will rip that rug right off your head.

Down in the morgue Lexie discovers a land of unclaimed bodies preserved for medical research. She is thrilled at all the new “patients” she and her fellow interns can practice on. She gathers an army of the dead in an unused room and welcomes and thanks them for being there, because they had a choice.

Ok, raise your hand if you think me and George shouldn’t be together….I KNEW IT!

House asks Torres for help on determining who should get awarded the solo surgery. Torres talks about her roommate Yang and how good she is, and the whore who slept with her husband, Izzie and how she tends to get overly emotional. House quickly learns that Torres might not be the unbiased outsider he needs.

In an uncomfortable moment, Yang and Sloan meet up in the hallway and Sloan begins his attempt to pick her up. Yang notices it about as much as a taxi driver notices the pungent odor in his cab.

The heart procedure begins and Hahn reminds Izzie that she was specifically included in this surgery because of her history comforting patients. Izzie informs Hahn that she was actually told to work on that seeing it hasn’t worked out so hot for her in the past. Izzie tries to talk to the patient through his excruciating surgery but looks up to see Denny and totally freezes. Well, obviously she is freaked, he didn’t even scrub in. The surgery fails because Izzie was unable to keep him calm. The pain was so bad the patient refuses to go through the procedure again.

I know…I thought there’d be razors in heaven too.

Hahn is super pissed and Grey makes the brilliant move of telling Hahn that Izzie has history with this case too. Surely Hahn will just let it go and go about her day.

Yang, having realized that the “after” House hates her, is stressing. She complains to Meredith that he is worse than Hahn. Hmmm, McD is begging someone to sleep with you to get you out of his life, Hahn hated you, House hated you….apparently the only doctors who like you are those who you sleep with you. Yang must be super in the sack. Enter Sloan, who is trying to prove this theory, but Yang blows him off (not in the way he is hoping). The unfamiliar territory of rejection is beginning to upset Sloan.

Lexie finds her fellow interns and tells them about the cadavers. They are thrilled and make plans to meet there at lunch. Sounds gross, but in their defense, can you blame them?

Sherlock Hahn begins to investigate Izzie’s involvement with Denny. Torres tells Hahn about the cut LVAD wire which stole Denny the heart. Hahn is LIVID when she realizes that Izzie is why her patient is still dying. Lest Hahn forgets that Izzie is also the one who broke up her girlfriend’s marriage, so really can’t we just call it even?

Downstairs Alex has found the army of the dead and pages Izzie. He presents the dead bodies to her to as a cheer-me-up present. Apparently the gift shop was out of carnations. Izzie, noticing again that she is surrounded by reminders of her dead ex-fiancée, freaks out and bolts.

I know how you LOVE dead people and all…

Up with the doll, George is struggling to save the bleeding doll who continues to harass him. I say this is one patient you should actually let die. We go behind the curtain to see that the chief is behind the doll’s hijinks, after the doll says “I’m surprised you even passed your intern exam,” Apparently The Chief thinks is the best use of time and money for a #12 establishment.

Who says spying is creepy?

Erica interrupts the Chief’s fun to talk with the Chief about Izzie. Insert mental record scratch in Chief’s head. Hahn corners the Chief in his office and demands answers. How was this unreported, how was Izzie not removed from the program, how is this hospital still accredited, how are they ranked as high as #12, and How the hell am I getting fired for playing a lesbian? The question about #12 wakes the chief up and he tells Hahn it’s enough and she’s crossed the line. He defends his decision and Izzie. He claims he handled it, and it won’t ever affect any other patients. Especially not ones who are relying on her to pull them through a surgery so they don’t die. PS. Hahn totally rocks this scene.

You’re going to fire me after this scene? Seriously? SERIOUSLY?

McD and Bailey have performed surgery on the elderly woman and things have not gone well. They update the sweet old man about his wife. They try to tell him as nicely as possible that she is not waking up and that he really should have taken her to a more highly ranked hospital, but he is not hearing it. He sits next to her and begins to comfort her.

Grey finds Izzie hiding from Hahn and Denny. Izzie say’s that she’s hiding because an angry lesbian is about to turn her into lawn mulch and she keeps seeing dead guys other than the ones Lexie has acquired.

In surgery, Yang is dismissed by House because, well mainly because he hates her guts. Yang meets Lexie in the hall and smells the sweet fragrance of death on her and demands to know how. Yang is like a child on Christmas upon finding the dead bodies. She begins to negotiate the bodies for surgery with Karev and scores three dead bodies to do whatever she wants with. I officially just took my name of the organ donor list.

Alex, Izzie, Grey and Yang all play with the dead bodies while they eat their lunch. It’s like a grown up Anatomy Jane. Izzie plays “am I normal” for seeing dead people, and loses.

Can you pass the salt, it’s right next that guy’s foot, no….to the right of Denny.

Izzie comes out of hiding, praying to avoid Denny, but finds someone far more scary. Hahn. Izzie asks to be removed from the surgery. Hahn, with the venom of a thousand snakes, tells her hell no, you have to look him in the face and see what you have done. If he dies, Hahn wants Izzie to be front and center.

Back with the old couple, the woman’s heart is beating slower and slower. The husband is frantically trying to get the doctors to save her, but since she signed the DNR, they are following orders by doing nothing. He pleads to Bailey and McD, but there is nothing they can do. The old man freaks, and my heart breaks a little. The woman flatlines and the husband pleads for her to live. He begins to pound on her heart to keep it beating.

The Doctors perform round 2 of the experimental procedure and Izzie takes her front row seat next to the patient. He begins to flip out again, but this time Izzie is ready. After getting an encouraging nod from “Denny” who has again shown up for surgery, Izzie finally steps up to bat and is able to talk him through. After she saves him, Denny disappears. Hopefully dead Denny hits up Florence or Cannes. Stop frequenting Seattle Grace in your after life, freak!

Yang’s dead person surgery is interrupted by a page from Lexie. The unidentified trauma patient is flat lining and Lexie can’t save him because Yang has been such a crappy teacher. Alex follows Yang up there, because the trauma patient was part of the dead person trade and is now his. They fight over the patient and House overhears.

House flips out and demands they get away from the patients. He is sick and tired of the doctors treating the patients like nameless object and feeling nothing towards them. He and Izzie should TOTALLY hook up. They could cry over patients together! He finally gives them the ass reaming that they all deserve. I’ve never understood the fighting over patients. Anytime I go to the doctor they act like they don’t even want to be there! He basically calls them out for being selfish, disrespectful little punks.

But I called shotgun!

Back to people with hearts, Bailey and McD pull the old man away from his wife. He was unable to stop trying to resuscitating her so Bailey takes over to comfort him. Bailey seeing the love in the man’s eyes can’t stop either. She continues until McD takes over and finally stops. This scene seriously made me bawl. Old people in love haven’t made me cry this much since The Notebook.

Sloan, still set on cracking Yang approaches her one final time. After getting rejected again he lets her in on the gig. When he informs her that he was hitting on her all day, she cracks up and gives him the not even if you changed your name to Burke and spewed homophobic slurs. McS is pissed and calls Yang 2 Buck Chuck, not single malt scotch. House overhears this and is way over the petty bullshit of Seattle Grace and pretty much gives his resignation to the Chief. He is done working with this group of self involved pricks.

Bailey, after taking part in a heartbreaking goodbye, finds the army of the dead that has delighted and entertained the residents all day. As pissed as Bailey is, at least it wasn’t House! He isn’t so keen on the whole “treating patients/people like anonymous life sized “Anatomy Janes.” But Bailey still reams them a new one. She reminds them that each body was somebody’s somebody, and that nobody deserves this type of treatment. And that any sentence with four ‘body’s’ in it rocks.

What did I tell you about eating my food from the fridge!?

Apparently the unidentified man has a wife who has shown up. Yang let’s House know and House is convinced that heartless Yang didn’t even take the time to find out his name and realize he is a person and not just a surgery. Yang tells House a story about her father dying when she was little. They were in a car accident and she holding his heart when it stopped beating. She tells House that, that is why she is here and that is why she is good. Oh, and by the way, the patients name was Tom.

When she leaves the room, House concludes that she is a single malt scotch and the look in his eye proves that Yang’s drought will end a little sooner than he had originally anticipated.

The old man leaves the hospital alone. O’Mally is still working on the robot, who he FINALLY saves…after a FULL day of working on him. What, no pigs to kill? House comes in and tells the “dummy” that he takes back what he said when resigning. He’s ready to join the drama of Seattle Grace, not bail on it. The conversation alerts George to the fact that the Chief has been f-ing with him all day. Chief congratulates him on a nice save.

This would upset me, but I had sex with the robot 2 hours ago.

After her army of the dead crashed and burned, Lexie opts to join her fellow interns and poke each other rather than dead people. Um..ew?

As the day ends, Yang and Meredith return to reading mommy journals in Grey’s bed, and make fun of McD for trying to pimp Sloan on Yang. That sexual encounter would have been more awkward than when George and Izzie had sex, or George and Torres, or George and Meredith….hmm am I sensing a pattern?

Our resident lesbians leave for the day and Hahn is still fuming. She tells Torres that she is taking this Izzie thing up the ladder, despite the potential devastating results it will cost Seattle Grace. Torres confronts her on this and says it’s wrong it will ruin the hospital and Izzie’s career. Hahn tells Torres she can’t be on the fence with everything, she can’t be on the fence about being a lesbian, she can’t be on the fence about Hahn versus Seattle Grace, can’t be on the fence about right versus wrong. Torres straight up says she can do whatever she wants. If she wants to bush dive or snorkel, its her choice. Hahn leaves after deciding she didn’t know Torres and ABC security arrived to escort her off the premises.

Izzie is in the locker room ending the day, where Denny joins her again. (Really? This whole Denny thing is so lame!) She tells him he can’t be here and that she has to move on. Once she says this, he magically becomes Alex. Alex sweetly asks if she’s ok and she is thrilled to see him. Alex leaves, and Izzie turns to find Denny still there, asking if she is really ok. As Izzie stares at Denny, Meredith’s monologue says the only thing you can count on, is it ain’t over till it’s over.

Please don’t jump the shark….

And that’s it…..So I’m confused. Is that really Erica’s final scene?. After she kicked so much ass in this episode, it seems so anticlimactic. I feel sad that she is leaving. (I mean, not old people dying sad, but sad). At least give her a Daniel Powter “Had a Bad Day” montage. Denny’s character dies and he gets to come back for 2 seasons, and Hahn makes out with a chick and gets the boot. And on a personal note, thanks so much for the comments. They are great! I’ve tried to log-on and respond, but I haven’t figured out how. Yeah…apparently it takes a brain surgeon….er rocket scientist. Till next week!

Oh Hahn. You came and went too soon….That’sWhatSheSaid