By The Qwertz
Another Thursday with the Pomp means it’s time to open up another bottle of cab sav, kick back, and enjoy the pleasures of Grey’s Anatomy. This week, with m_ruv vacationing on the Amalfi Coast, I am left to switch hit–I’m more the Yang to his steel faced Meredith. So lets dive in–though I’m not sure where to start. In an unusual move, I am totally lost as to what the theme of the episode will be, there was no narrative to tell us how to feel! FOR SHAME.While there is no old-lady voiceover, there is however old-lady Mer in her frumpy Dartmouth sleepwear, listening to a whiny, insecure George trying to convince Mer to kick Dr. Torres out. While all this whining is endearing Georgie, maybe you should have thought about, oh how does one say it? Being honest.
Who should open the bathroom door behind George and Mer but Dr. Torres and she is all over the place. I mean really, her breasts are like all over my screen, and I have a 50-inch television! Now this is a Thursday night! Interrupting George and old lady Mer is crazy Barbia Izzy. She is finally out of that dress, but in a pepto pink top which really, c’mon, its Seattle–WHO WEARS COLOUR? Much to the surprise of George, Mer, the twins and Dr. Torres, Izzy is rizzy to return to the hospizzle. Great. Dr. Torres is supportive and happy but not before unleashing what little support she had–you see, she has GIANT BREASTS and was wearing only a towel. George complains she is using his towel, so Dr. Torres walks on up to George and Mer to drop the towel, which leaves Mer completely transfixed and dare I say hypnotized by Callie’s giant mammaries and George keeps his eyes tightly shut like the pre-adolescent house page I sometimes think he is. Oh Dr. Torres, you feisty Latina. I hear everybody loves a spicy Latina…with giant breasts. Must…look…away…
Where was I…OH YES, back at le hotel du monde duuu adulterers les oeufs (I was exempt from taking a language at Dartmouth–you wouldn’t know it right?) we see hottie mcsteamy with She Shepard who is pulling the fun, disheveled, let me pull myself together so no one can tell I’m a whore schtick. Enchanting. She offers to call him a cab to the airport so he can get back on the jetblue philandering red eye to New York.
Over at the Burke-Yang residence, we are greeted with a pissy and prissy Burke feeling sorry for himself and an as-usual reticent Yang. Over at the hospital, Archie and the gang walk up to the hospital, but Izzy takes pause to prepare herself just outside the entryway to the hospital. Up in the joint, Bailey is trying to convince the Chief that she is going through a rough patch, and that she sincerely will try harder to get wigs that don’t look like shit. Then she tells the Chief to talk with Izzy and hear her out. Bailey takes some responsibility for her awful hair, and something…oh yeah, killing Denny (YAY!). The Chief agrees, and says he’ll take the meeting with Izzy.
Over at the elevators of awkwardness (the Brits call them lifts, I believe) Derek asks Mer out for dinner that night, and as he walks away, who should step off the next lift but McVet who asks Mer out to dinner and fails, MISERABLY. In lieu of a dinner date, he opts for lunch at the cafeteria. Side note: I volunteered in a hospital from 7th grade through senior year of high school–it was a Seventh Day Adventist hospital, so all food was vegetarian and SO GOOD, OMG I want a grilled cheese now. Anyhow, Bailey is doling out the daily assignments and Callie requests George’s presence ALL DAY, as she evidently wants to smother him…with attention, I’m sure.
Upstairs, She Shepard is summoned away for a quicky and Alex is sent to the ER where he finds a little girl with tell-tale signs of parental abuse–I mean foster parent abuse. Alex tries to get the little girl to stop covering for her parents, but instead she claims to be a superhero. A pale, sickly, scrappy superhero ie Super Meredith.
Little Miss Bruise Shine
The neuro malady du jour is a man who requires having his brain CUT IN HALF. OMG I saw this in Vegas, and if it is anything like that, this can only end in tears and misplaced keno cards.
Elsewhere, Callie is dragging George along to help out with an ankle replacement. George sees a clear shot at taking a moral high ground, and we all know where this will lead–tears and lost keno cards.
Alex is conducting a few pain threshold tests with Super Meredith, she wont stop talking and schools Alex’s ass. Meanwhile, Dr. Yang is at first sympathizing with the half-brained patient’s wife, but in her self-involved rant, she barely finds the ability to catch the baby that is launched into left field by the neuro patient suffering from a seizure.
Over at the only bar in Seattle, McSteamy is waiting for She Shepard who almost nearly falls for his super steamy ways but even she is impervious to his steamy sauna like charm which steams. KISS HIM. As he goes in for the kiss, it is almost mission accomplished until She Shepard gets all nervousing and reaches out to smack the McSteamy. Oh She Shep is the cutest adultree EVAH.
It is lunchtime, and Izzy still stands outside the hospital entrance, unmoved, much like her story line at the end of last season. Burke swings by to stand outside with her before he goes in to discuss the details of his sabbatical with the Chief. Christina is shocked by the idea of Dr. Burke taking time off for recovery that ends with a heated exchange between the two ending with “I am Preston Burke, premiere Cardiothoracic Surgeon.” Oh how I do love a good sabbatical, preferably to explore the latest gastronomical delights the continent can afford.
Back to the land of living, in the cafeteria, we see the lunch date that is interrupted by He Shepard who calls on Mer to help with the brain splitting sugery. Playing up the alpha role, He Shep walks all over Finn McHasNoBalls who sits there like a human doormat. Seriously, why is his character such a poorly accented shallow vagina having douchbag? Still better than Denny though!
Up with Super Meredith, Alex discovered the superpowers were derived from an unlimited, near non-existent threshold for pain. Because she encourages everyone to punch her in the stomach or hit her with baseball bats, the superhero is superbleeding. Knowing that surgery is necessary, she superdisappears, causing a frantic search for her through the entire hospital.
Back outside Izzy is rambling on about brides or some other nonsense that relates to Denny who still rears his bland, uninspired, pointless head yet again. HE’S DEAD, STOP TELLING YOUR STUPID STORY. George returns upstairs to see his ankle replacement patient and decides to show the patient the dead man donating his ankle–which is so obviously against Callie’s wishes. Seeing the ankle is coming from a dead guy two years his junior, the patient opts out of his ankle replacement, which can only lead to a mundo of pain for George. The argument about the patient canceling his ankle surgery manifests itself into George claiming Dr. Torres moved too fast with her giant breasts in their relationship. She says she and the kids will be moved out by the end of the day. BOOOOO.
While looking for Super Meredith, the real Mer opens a closet into She Shepard’s SOUL. Well it was actually a real closet where She Shep was sitting on the floor in tears because her slutty husband is now openly dating Skeletor. In a pointed exchange She Shep lays the smack down by saying to Mer “why don’t you pick a floor and stay on it…because I need a moment or two without you. Your face shows up in my head, your panties show up in my husbands pocket, really you’re everywhere–really I need a moment or two without you.” Well played Dr. Addison Montgomery-Shepherd, well played indeed.
Due to her sub-par powers of invisibility, Alex finds Super Meredith and convinces her that she needs the surgery and won’t be sent to another foster home just because she will incur further costs. Aww, Alex is on the rebound. Meanwhile, the half brain dude is doing well, but is having difficulty recreating the neural pathways that allow him to say the names of objects or people. I need to try this at work. “Oh, I’m sorry I can’t get to the stock purchase agreement, I had my brain cut in half earlier today!” In counseling the guy’s wife, He Shep touches on themes of support in recovery and how he cant do it alone. This resonates with Dr. Yang (hey, we had no thematic voiceover narrative to start the show–we’ll take our themes where we can get them) to swing by the market to pick up a few raw chickens–OOH, nothing says support like General Tso’s Chicken of Siam Delights! Sadly for Burke though, Christina intends the chickens to be a recovery device for Preston to practice on. No Moo Shu for him!
Back at Mer’s house, he Shep is dropping Mer off from their date only to be interrupted by Finn McNoBalls bringing some strawberry ice cream for Mer. Sick of the one upmanship between the boys, Mer gets her panties (did she get them back?) in a twist over the lack of real attention being showered on her, she wants to be felt up–she’s a lady damnit! A skinny, strident, scratchy voiced, angular, nonvoluptuous lady! Until either of the boys can do something right, the dates are off.
Across the street from the only bar in Seattle is apparently the only hotel in Seattle. We see the young Catherine Deneuve like She Shep checking for messages at the front desk, and as the camera pans down the counter we also see Dr. Torres checking in, con no hermano, just herself; Dr. Weber checking his messages, and finally McSteamy who one can only hope is checking in to take another hot, dare I say…steamy shower? Oh I am a real cut up. Chief notices McSteamy and asks what he’s doing in Seattle…I smell series regular!
“Why yes, the complimentary continental breakfast sounds lovely!”
Finally, back at the hospital, we see Alex convince Izzy to pack it in for the night, and takes her home. Back at the house of sin, Mer pretends to eat ice cream, and she, Izzy and George cuddle up on the bed and share ice cream OFF THE SAME SPOON OF DISEASE AND CHOLERA. So ends the episode with Mer (un)wisely saying “maybe some fantasies are only supposed to live in our dreams.” Umm, I’m pretty sure that’s why they call them FANTASIES sweetheart. So ended another charming, albeit boring week with the kiddos. Next week promises more bad wigs, and THE POMP IS PREGGERS! And the return of something Denny related — BARF.