Grimm Recap: The Lord of the Coins

Sing it with me, Gasmii! “Three coins in a fuchsbau, each one seeking to rule the world!” On this episode, Grimm presents a very interesting revisionist explanation for Hitler’s rise to power. In what seems to be an homage to the Lord of the Rings franchise, humans and creatures alike are drawn to and controlled by a simple metal object, or in this case, three simple metal objects – coins. Hank-Dre and Renard go all Gollum on everybody while Nick plays the annoying yet noble Frodo role as he is not affected by the coins.

If anyone on Match.com winks at you and this is their headline, do not wink back. You’re welcome.

We’re out of the woods this time! Instead, we open with three men loading up guns in preparation for a heist. They each have an accent: Irish, Spanish and German. A German heist! It’s like Die Hard! Things fall apart before they even leave the house. Guns are drawn and it’s a three-way standoff. The Spaniard tells them to quit acting like fools.

“If you kids can’t behave, I’m calling this whole thing off and you will both be grounded! DON’T TEST ME.”

We leave the gunmen behind for Bertram’s estate jewelry. An older man is putting things away for the evening when the three foreign guys bust in, guns blazing. The older man takes shelter in a vault, but the crooks are ready for this: they have a drill.

The old man opens a cabinet and takes out an old box containing three coins that look to be very old as well. He’s quite upset as he sits waiting for his doom. The vault door blows open aaaand…

…it’s later in the evening and Nick and Hank-Dre arrive at the crime scene AND OFFICER WU IS BACK!!!! YAY!!! Wu remarks that the old guy thought he was safe in the safe. Oh how I have missed you.

Wu, my second favorite character. Welcome back sweetpea!

In the vault, the old man’s, a.k.a. Mr. Bertram’s bloody corpse lays on the floor. Nick notes that this was a professional job, while Hank-Dre observes that Mr. Bertram was really into coins.

Back at their hideout, the crooks go through their booty and it becomes clear that they were looking for the three old coins. The coins are not among their spoils, which unravels any trust the three criminals had in each other. The Spaniard thinks that one of his partners pocketed them, but changes his mind when the others insist they don’t have them and don’t back down.

The Spaniard leaves, intending to return to the jewelry store. The German and Irishman argue over whether they are double crossing each other. The whole thing is far too stressful for me. They hear a noise and assume it’s the Spaniard. Guns drawn, they investigate. Whatever is in the house with them is much faster than a human and can see in the dark. They shoot each other on accident and their pursuer, a hawk-like man, circles their bodies. THIS IS WHY WE DON’T SPLIT UP WHEN WE ARE SEARCHING THE HOUSE FOR KILLERS.

At the jewelry store, the Spaniard watches as the police investigate. Notes for next time: don’t blow things up if you don’t want the cops to show up at the scene of your crime right away.

“I’m just going to grab those coins and…what the…the COPS ARE HERE?? COME ON! HOW DID THEY KNOW?!?”

Nick sees the Spanish guy, finds out he’s a fuchsbau, and the Spainard sees Nick watching. A Spanish Fuchsbau? From here on out, we shall call him Spandau! I guess we can assume he figures out that Nick is a Grimm. Grimm or cop, he’s smart enough to try to get away from Nick so he leaves. Nick follows Spandau, but Spandau gets in his BMW and drives away before Nick can catch up to him.

Nick finds out his Grimm-sense was right; footage from a nearby camera shows the three thieves emerging from the Spandau’s BMW and heading into the jewelry store. He tells Hank-Dre and Wu he saw the car at the crime scene. Wu zooms in to get the plate number and puts out an APB. The coroner calls to tell Nick she found something good. The coins, perhaps?

Spandau returns to thief HQ and discovers the bodies of his companions. Before he can process this, the Eagleman steps out from the shadows to clear his name

 

“For reals, they shot each other. You should probably get smarter friends.”

Down to business! Eagleman has been following Spandau and colleagues. He’s also looking for the coins! He makes Spandau get face down on the floor. Not to kill him; no, it’s story time! He pulls up a chair and tells Spandau to catch him up on old times.

“I’m just going to get a chair while you tell your story to the floor. Why? For laughs!”

At the morgue, the coroner explains to Nick that Mr. Bertram was not killed in the explosion; something made his body completely shut down. She found three coins in his stomach. The coins are definitely not in circulation anywhere these days. They’re old and have swastikas on the back. The coroner is not certain yet what exactly poisoned Mr. Betram, but the coins are likely involved.

As the examine the coins, Hank gets total Lord of the Rings “Precious Face”:

“Why, hello there coins…precious, precious coins…”

For the non-nerds, “Precious Face” is what happens to people who possess the One Ring:

You know what? If you’re watching a show about a detective who investigates mythical creatures with his werewolf sidekick, I’m thinking you’ve seen the LOTR. If not, come ON, it was a pop culture juggernaut. Get on board already.

BACK TO THE SHOW!! Hank picks them up with gloves – smart guy – as they are going to need to keep them for evidence. Nick smartly deduces that the coins could be the reason the store was robbed. Nick gets a call – the BMW has been found. They take off and leave the coroner, who seems reluctant to let them leave with the coins.

“I guess you a-holes never heard of “finders keepers!”

HD and Nick roll up to Spandau HQ; the BMW is in front of the house. Inside, Eagleman is still grilling Spandau about the missing coins. He is tired of the questioning and jumps up to get Eagleman, who is checking out the front door; he tells Spandau that the 5-0 has arrived and Spandau takes off.

Hank-Dre and Nick bust inside the house and Hank-Dre delivers the beatdown to Eagleman. Nick has to stop him; Hank-Dre is unusually aggressive. Methinks the coins are working their will upon him.

Coin-rage, roid-rage’s tragic mythical cousin

Eagleman converts in front of Nick as Nick is cuffing him. Another officer NotWu enters the house to tell Nick and Hank-Dre that Spandau was too fast and he lost him. Hank-Dre gets all aggro on officer NotWuDeux; apparently the coins turn people into assholes. Nick snaps at him again; they need to deal with the crime scene and HD needs to chill. Outside, NotWuDeux goes to radio for backup and he’s attacked, presumably by Spandau.

At the station, Eagleman is put in a room for questioning. Nick tells Hank-Dre they need to bring the coins to evidence, but Hank-Dre dismisses him. He’s still ultra-aggro and wants to bring the pain to Eagleman. Renard joins them and lets them know he got the report on the jewelry store heist and he wants to be filled in. Eagleman remains a cool customer, staring at Nick from inside the questioning room.

Creepy non-blinking face, a classic characteristic of the Eagleman

In Renard’s office, Hank-Dre and Nick give him the run down on their actions thus far. Nick tries to bring up the coins, and Hank-Dre dismisses him again. Renard wants to see the coins, but Hank-Dre keeps trying to change the subject. Dude does NOT want to talk about the coins.

“Back up, Hank-Dre, let’s talk about the coins”

“Let’s not and say we did!”

“WTF?”

Renard insists, and Hank turns them over, painfully. You can tell he doesn’t want to part with them.He tells Renard that the coins are German, but Renard schools him – the swastika is much older than Nazi Germany. Hank-Dre offers once again to take the precious to evidence, but Renard won’t give them up. As Hank-Dre pushes the issue, Renard brings up Hank-Dre’s aggro behaviour at the crime scene and tells him to go home.

“Oh the coins! I miss them already!”

As they exit, Hank-Dre bitches about the coins more; he’s obsessed. Nick tells him to go home, and he complies even though he is still acting creepy.

Let’s go to France, shall we? Renard calls a bald guy in France and explains in French that he found the Coins of Zakynthos. The Frenchman tells Renard to be very careful. So two questions: what is the significance of the Coins of Zakynthos, and WHO THE HELL DID RENARD CALL IN FRANCE?!?!? What is UP with that guy? He can order priests to maul people, he’s got hot blonde women doing his bidding, he speaks Latin and French, and he’s got a friend in France that he had to call and tell about the coins. MORE RENARD BACKSTORY PLEASE.

“It’s me.” Yeah, we know. WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO??

Since Hank-Dre went home, Nick gets to question Eagleman. Eagleman should be happy he got Nick. I think Hank-Dre was ready to let his fists do the talking. Eagleman, whose name is Farley, lets Nick know that he is aware that Nick is a Grimm. Farley tells Nick that ballistics will prove that the two men in the house shot each other. He also gives up some deets about Spandau. Apparently Farley has been following the three stooges around the world. He asks Nick if they can talk off the record as this is Grimm business, not police business. Farley drops some bombs; Nick is not the first Grimm he’s ever known, and he’s been following the three stooges BECAUSE of a Grimm.

Nick wants to know about the coins. Farley explains that the coins are ancient and many people have been trying to obtain them. In 8th century BC, gold was mined in Ancient Greece and some of that gold was minted into coins like the ones they found in the jewelery. Blah blah blah mythology etc., the coins give the holder charisma and power over men and turn them into power-hungry maniacs. The coins made their way through the Roman empire, china, and disappeared until WWII Germany when Hitler got a hold of them. Oops. Once the Third Reich was toast, the coins disappeared again.

Only a small group of people knew the wherabaouts of the coins: Grimms. They are not easily affected by the coins. The Grimms were doing a decent job of keeping the coins hidden until 18 years ago, when the Grimm who was guarding the coins was discovered and killed. The Grimm that was killed was the sister of Farley’s love, and when his lady’s sister died, she ended things with Farley to take care of her nephew. DUN DUN DUN!! Farley was in love with AUNT MARIE!! DAMN!!  Wow. If things went differently, Nick would have been calling Eagleman ‘Uncle Farley’!

“What the WHAT?!?”

Farley pleads with Nick to let him go so that he can help him deal with this whole coin situation, but Nick is a cop first and denies the request. Plus, Nick already knows where the coins are.

“Can’t let you go, man. Hey, what do you call you when you’re spending the night in lockup? A JAILBIRD! LOLZ, get it??!”

“Not funny. Also, a little racist.”

Wu interrupts the questioning session to tell Nick that Officer NotWuDeux never reported back from the crime scene. Nick inquires whether Wu told Renard when he notices that Renard is not in his office. According to Wu, Renard is putting the coins in evidence. Nick is satisfied with this response and tells Wu to follow up on the lead for Spandau.

Nick is still confounded by Farley’s admission about the Grimms who died for the coins, so he looks online for info about the accident that killed his parents.

While Nick does his research, the coroner is done for the evening and walking to her car in the dark. What is with the lack of decent lighting in the parking lot? All the shadows make great cover for Spandau! He abducts her, presumably to get info on the coins.

Nick heads to the Grimm trailer to do even more research. He learns that Farley is a Steinadler, an eagle-like creature who is noble. He also learns that Spandau is a Schakal, a jewel-theiving, baby-eating jackal creature.

Eagleman!

Spandau!

Monroe arrives at the trailer and interrupts study time. Nick asked him to come by to help him translate some German. Monroe dives in and discovers that the documents Nick has are written in High German, aka super old German. He is able to determine that a Grimm found a Schakal in the woods who was eating babies. Monroe’s reaction: “So they ate a baby. That’s rude!” I COULD NOT LOVE HIM MORE.

Also, why did Herr Grimm from the long-long ago feel it was necessary to DRAW the Schakals eating babies. I think we could all picture such grotesque behavior WITHOUT the drawings, thanks. Maybe the Grimm needed to draw it for personal therapy. In any case, someone working on the show had to draw it:

“What did I do today at work? I had to draw something. Seriously, you don’t want to know any more.”

The baby-eaters got theirs; Herr Grimm of the long-long ago beheaded the baby-snacking Schakals. So what about the Steinadlers? Apparently they are often involved with the military, and they’re NOT into baby-eating. It can be difficult to determine which side of a conflict the StienadIer is loyal to. According to the Grimmopedia, it is not that they cannot be trusted, you just have to trust your gut instincts, whatever that means.

Monroe notes that a Steinadler and a Schakal working together is odd because they are opposites, like two sides of a coin. A coin, you say? It’s like Monroe is a mind reader! Nick fills him in on the jewelry store robbery and explains that they found three old coins, but Monroe is not familiar with the coins. He knows about stamps, which is not helpful for this case, so translation time is over.

Monroe goes to leave when he notices a super old film projector! Monroe gets excited because his grandfather was a cameraman back in the day and Monroe inherited all the equipment! Hmmm. Why does Marie have an old camera?

Nick goes home to Juliet and tells her about the case as he is getting ready for bed. I guess he’s been forgiven for missing their anniversary dinner! Seriously, there’s zero tension. What was the point of last week’s drama about the ring and anniversaries, etc? Whaevsies. Nick confides in Juliet that Farley may have been involved Aunt Marie, but he’s not sure yet. Juliet, ever the wonderful girlfriend, immediately volunteers to dig up information on Farley for Nick.

At home, Renard is standing in front of a mirror, topless, playing with the coins and admiring himself. I feel oddly weird watching.

Coinsturbating

At the morgue, Spandau is questioning the coroner about the dead jeweler and the missing coins. He has her at gunpoint until he hears someone coming, so his pistolwhips her and talks off. What a bastard!

Renard is now at home in his super sweet apartment, and he hears people cheering. He goes to his balcony and there are hundreds of people down below with blue flags and yellow lions.

“WHOOO! RENARD! RENARD! RENARD!”

“Don’t cry for me Portland, Oregon! The truth is I never left yoooooou!”

It’s just a dream! No more Evita before bed for Renard!

The next day at the Station, Hank-Dre is back to normal. He feels remorse for his behavior the day before, but he hasn’t tied said behavior to the coins. Nick fills Hank-Dre in on Spandau and Farley; they don’t know if Farley was involved with the jewel heist, but they do know where Farley was staying. This time, they actually talk about getting a warrant! Yay for doing things by the book.

Fresh from his dreams and bizarre coinsturbation, Renard rolls into work in his dress uniform and calls a press conference which all officers and personnel are required to attend. WTF? Renard has been seduced by the coins!

World Domination Plan, Step One: Dress the part of authority!

What’s Spandau up to? He’s giving himself a shave and a haircut. Why is he getting all spiffed? To pose as a police officer at the station so he can go after the coins! He somehow got the body of the dead officer NotWuDeux into his hotel room without anyone noticing.

Hank-Dre and Nick must have secured their warrant super-fast because they go to the hotel and start searching the room. They find an old canister of film that actually has film in it; Hank-Dre assumed the canister contained drugs. Is that a thing? I don’t know much about drug trafficking.

They also find some official looking correspondence in German and English dated 1945; both letters are super top-secret. Hank-Dre reads the letter in English. It describes the discovery of the coins in 1945. The letter states that the coins contain gold, arsenic and mercury and they should not be handled! Do the coins really contain arsenic and mercury, or was that the rumor to keep people from handling them and going Gollum? Hank-Dre wonders if the coins could really affect a person; he acknowledges that he felt pumped and possessed when he had them. Nick notes that Renard took the coins.

“I hope Renard isn’t touching the coins!” Yeah, you’re way too late on that front.

At that moment, Hank-Dre gets a phone call. The person on the other line explains that the coroner was admitted to the hospital for her pistolwhip injury. Hank-Dre volunteers to check on the coroner and Nick is off to make sure that Renard turned the coins in to evidence.

In the evidence room, Nick discovers that Renard never turned in the coins. The lead-lined case that they were stored in is present, so Nick pockets it. The evidence room guy tells Nick that Renard called a mandatory press conference so they need to skedaddle.

So what is the press conference all about? It’s about Renard giving a fire and brimstone speech declaring his war on crime! While everyone else is listening intently, Nick and Hank-Dre can tell something is up.

“Either we’re on crazy pills or this has coin-rage written all over it!”

All the other sheep in the room are captivated by Renard; he is greeted with wild applause once his speech is finished. As the press question Renard, Nick and Hank-Dre try to confront him about the coins, but he brushes them off.

“I’m a little busy with world domination at the moment. You boys go play or something.”

Nick gets a call from Juliet; she confirms that Farley did indeed spend five years in Rhinebeck, NY when Nick was there and he left the year Nick’s parents died. Hank-Dre inquires about Nick’s convo, but he’s not ready to talk about it. He asks Hank-Dre to keep and eye on Renard while he questions Farley.

Nick visits Farley in his cell and demands to know the name of the woman he was in love with. Sure enough, it was Marie Kessler. Farley wasn’t just in love with her, he was engaged to her. Farley deduces that Nick knows her, and Nick tells him that Marie was his aunt. He also has to confirm Farley’s fear that Marie has died. He shows the first real emotion he’s shown the whole show; up until now, he’s been a cool customer.

Farley has another bomb to drop on Nick; Spandau was part of the group that killed Nick’s parents to get to the coins! Now Nick has a personal stake in catching Spandau, which is what Farley wants. Nick, you are way too easy.

Nick finds out that Spandau killed a cop and is in the station in uniform, and Farley insists that Nick let him out to help catch him.

Spandau is turning off the power in the garage just as Renard is leaving. Hank-Dre takes Renard’s exit as an opportunity to look for the coins in his office. AS IF. You don’t just leave the magic coins lying around. Farley and Nick show up and Farley basically explains this to Hank-Dre.

“Haven’t you seen The Lord of The Rings? You don’t just leave this shit in a pencil drawer!”

Down in the garage, Renard notes that the power is off but seems unperturbed by this fact. Spandau lies in wait, ready to pounce and get the coins, but Nick, Hank-Dre and Farley are on his tail! Farley is told to hang back while Nick and Hank-Dre slowly enter the garage with guns drawn. Spandau leaps out to attack Renard and Hank-Dre takes him down. There is a struggle and Spandau starts shooting. Farley gets the captain out of the way so he doesn’t get shot…and so he can pat him down for the coins.

The old “Checking you for injuries” coin thievery trick.

Spandau takes a fatal shot, and Nick accosts him to grills him about his parents, but all Spandau cares about is holding the coins one more time. One track mind, that one. Spandau dies before he can tell Nick anything about his parents.

Nick goes to check on Renard, who is having a shit fit because the coins are missing. Farley is no where to be found. Looks like Farley has coin fever too!

The ugly face of coin-rage rears its head yet again

Farley returns to his hotel room and looks under the bed; his briefcase is gone. Nick emerges from the shadows and demands that Farley give up the coins. . Farley doesn’t want to do it, so he charges Nick, but Nick smacks him and gets the coins. He tells Farley to forget about the coins, and Farley says he’s tried. Nick’s advice? Try harder.

“Not helpful.”

At the trailer, Nick examines the coins for a moment and it’s clear he is not affected the way others are. He puts them in their case and hides them, then settles in to see waht is on the film Farley had. It’s Adolph Hitler giving a speech; the coins rest on his collar aaand…wait for it….the madman of racial purity was actually a CREATURE!!

Hitler was a monster…an ACTUAL monster, apparently

Hmm…I think Hitler may not have been the best choice to weave through this particular story. While he is the most famous crazy dictator in modern history, he’s also associated with being at the helm of one of the greatest human rights failures of all time, so pretending he was a creature and the coins were responsible for his rise to power bugs me. On the other hand, how many people nowadays can name another ruthless dictator? Stalin and Mussolini don’t pack the same dramatic punch. Maybe I’m too PC / sensitive and cranky. You tell me!

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