Hellcats: A Little Law with a Side of Order

Poor Marti, she just endured an athlete’s version of Hell: a 7 hour bus ride with no one to talk to. I’ve never been that kid, but I’ve seen that kid. Talk about suckage. Marti’s suitcase is mad at her too and it opens when she gets it off the bus and everything falls out. Lewis helps her out, but he’s still not interested in making nice. To top it all off, no one wants to room with Marti either. Ouch.

Morgan shows up at Mama’s diner/bar thingy to give her Marti’s guitar because he met a Goth chick who is DTF and has daddy issues. Since Marti is out of town, Morgan was going to take the guitar to Travis (aka the inmate) so he could play it. Mama is mad that Morgan is choosing a hoe over a bro and decides to go to Travis’ visitation in Morgan’s place. I’m calling a Mama/Inmate romance.

The Cats are watching a team that’s stacked with hot Asian girls dominate the floor and then it’s their turn to practice. Marti runs out all energetic and smiley, just like a cheerleader should but her team still hates her. I must admit, I lol’ed at Marti being the cheery one for once. Before they start, Coach lets them know the current standings and Memphis Christian is ranked number one. That sucks. What sucks even more is that Savy helped them get there.

Marti practices her flying and she finally looks really good up there. I mean, her form is finally good, the rest of her has always looked really good. Wow, I’m sorry, that was really cheap and lame. Forgive me. Alice is still not impressed and wants her spot back. She wants it even more when she finds out her dad is coming to see her fly and he’s bringing his new fiancé.

Dad is totally fug BTW.

Also, Alice never told her daddy that she and Lewis broke up because homeboy is all up Lewis’ ass. I mean, he loves the guy even more than I do. It’s kind of creepy when sports dads get all into their daughters’ jock boyfriends.

Mama shows up to the prison with cookies and music for Travis. He is pleased as pie and then starts to sing. He’s not bad. He’s no John Mayer, but he’s not Taylor Swift either. Yeah, homegirl sucks live. Long story short, Mama and Travis connect and flirt pretty hard. It’s kind of cute.

Alice and Lewis join the dad and the fiancé for dinner. Alice looks hot but Lewis looks hotter, hehe. Alice’s dad is a major douche and puts down cheerleading plenty of times and encourages Lewis to get back into football. The fiancé notices how much it bothers Alice to see her dad belittle her passion. After dinner, Alice vows to make sure she flies in the routine so that she can impress her dad and shut him up.

The next day, Alice tells Savy that she should practice the flying so that she can be ready in case something happens to Marti. Really bitch? She does the routine and it’s just as good as Marti’s, but Afro Girl starts running her trap about how much better it was and that Alice should be flying. Um, hold up, aren’t you Marti’s buddy? Why so bitchy all of the sudden? Savy eventually switches Marti to floor work and Alice to flyer. Alice and Afro Girl then slip off and Alice gives her a leather jacket since she helped her out. The jacket is butt ugly but no one will care because it will be on Afro Girl and she’s not too great to look at either. #truth

Coach comes back and isn’t too happy about the changed routine and wants to know what’s going on with the squad. Marti tries to act all hard but Coach gets to her and she tells her the Dan story. Coach tells Marti she has her back and will support her. How nice.

It registers with Marti and she challenges Alice to a cheer off. Alice doesn’t really want to do it, but Coach makes her. Hah. She picks Lewis as her base and it looks like Marti is getting the cold shoulder again. But then Darwin steps up to be her base. Man, he just got really hot.

“RodneyClint, I’ll be your base.”

The cheer off is, in true Hellcats fashion, just a dance off. It’s pretty much like Britney vs. Christina if this was like, 2002. Marti is really dancing and Alice is touching herself and whipping her hair around. Girlfriend has wicked hair. When they go to fly, Alice stumbles and Marti does it flawlessly. Coach then decides that Marti is the winner. Uh oh, have these people not learned? Hell hath no fury like Alice scorned.

hehe, funny screencap.

Alice shows up to Savy’s room later and tells her that she needs her spot as a flyer. You think Alice came unprepared? Nope, she has the video of Savy cheering for Memphis Christian which helped them get to sectionals. Alice – 1, Savy – 0.

Savy lies to the squad and says she hurt her ankle during practice and asks Alice to take her place. Alice puts on her best sad face and says she’ll help lead the team to victory.

Marti shows up later at Savy’s door with a muffin. Honey, you can’t kiss a girl’s boyfriend and then bring her a muffin. That muffin needs a family and a basket to live in, okay? Thank you. Marti wants to talk but Savy is still mad and doesn’t feel like talking. So what does she do? She starts the lamest pillow fight in the history of pillow fights on television. Seriously, it’s bad.

When they are done with that, Marti goes on with her pitch. She apologizes about Dan and tells Savy that she is her only true girlfriend and that she doesn’t want to lose her. If they kiss right now every straight man in the world’s mind will explode. But they don’t so, the straight boys are safe. They make up and start on the road to becoming besties again.

Marti notices though, that Savy was bouncing around on her hurt ankle. Hah, so Savy has to come clean about the faked injury and her sister’s pregnancy and the Memphis Christian stuff.

I totes have that hoodies BTW. Forever 21 biyatches!

The next day it’s time for the Cats to perform and Marti decides that she wants Savy to fly in her place and she’ll do floor work. So that means that Savy gets to fly, Alice gets to fly and Marti will dance and everyone’s happy? Okay, I’ll take it.

They perform and it’s flawless as usual. I won’t complain about the enthusiastic crowd since this is a sectional performance, I feel like it’s okay in this situation. But if they were at a high school, you know I’d be ripping them a new one.

They score a 98.6, which is .5 points better than Memp Christian so that means they are in first and are the winners. I really don’t know what it means that they came in first, like do they get a trophy or something?

During the celebration, Alice notices that her daddy still didn’t come to the performance. However, fiancé showed up so there wouldn’t be two empty seats. I like her, she’s really cute and nice and explains things to Alice in a mature way. Alice seems to respect her and what she has to say. It’s weird to see Alice take advice with little bitching.

Later when they are all packing up to leave, Alice’s dad shows up with flowers and is screaming sorry before he’s even out of the car. Alice isn’t having it though and lets him have it. She’s respectful about it, but lets him know that he hurt her. He’s pretty shaken by this and the fiancé is still cute.

Back on the bus, Marti for some reason has sat all the way in the back again despite the team winning and patching things up with Savy. It’s pretty tragic, but Savy makes things okay but sitting with her. Yay! All is forgiven and the BFFs are together again! Don’t you just love happy endings? Yeah it’s cheesy, but it’s kinda nice too.

Is it bad that I barely know what UNO is?