Hellcats: You Can’t Buy Love

So our girls and guys are still trying to bounce back after the news about the bid video. They’re all huddling together watching a video of a squad with a girl in a wheelchair. They got the sentimental vote. Alice is mad that they didn’t take advantage of her injury and pop her in a wheelchair. Girls got a point. Kind of. Anyway, they all need to think of a way to raise money so they can go to Nationals and Lewis mentions a date auction. Everyone will come up with a date and then go out with the highest bidder. Hmm, wonder how much fun is going to come out of this? Coach likes this idea and tells them all to get busy planning their dates.

She can pop a mean wheely!

Savy and Marti are chatting and S notices that M is all up in her phone with googly eyes and snatches it to see who she is talking to. Marti gets it back and denies she is talking to a guy while Savy tries to figure out who it is. She decides its Morgan aka Ugly Boy from law class. Marti lets her know that she is actually avoiding him because she has been sneaking around and secretly going to the prison. Wonder if she is aware of how bad that sounds. Long story short, she doesn’t want Morgan to tell on her because Teach asked her to leave the case alone.  Well, Morgan crashes Cheertown and wants to know why Marti’s name was on the sign in sheet so much at the prison but Marti won’t tell him just yet.

The Cats are all discussing their individual dates. Lewis wants to offer a personal training session followed by a massage. Um, yes please. Darwin agrees with me too…wonder if he plays for my team? This show needs a gay cheerboy anyway. Savy wants to go out on a picnic and then to an old movie. I almost fell asleep typing that. Girl is almost too wholesome sometimes. Alice’s date is a little less Barney to say the least, and involves a hotel room and slumber party, but only because she knows Jake the QB is going to bid on her for sure. Savy tells Dan not to worry about bidding on her date because money is tight but he still wants to anyway. Men and their damn pride. Dan then proceeds to do that dumb thing where he says something that is obviously upsetting to Savy but just decides to keep saying it. And Savy lies (badly I might add) and tells him it’s okay. Ugh, girl needs to grow a pair. Dan doesn’t like to have a plan in life, he just lets the chips fall where they may. Savy has always had a plan that includes love, marriage, sex and kids, or something in that general, good Christian upbringing area.

Oh yeah, he’s totally cool with the idea of sex after marriage.

Ebony and Ivory have ditched Cheertown to get it on in the gym. This is a pretty steamy make out session and Miss Marti’s body is hot. I might not be ordering from the menu but I like to take a peek at the specials from time to time. Coach comes in and almost catches them and they start to have an entire conversation in Britney Spears’ “Slave 4 U” sex voice. Marti likes the danger of almost getting caught but its kind of obvious that she is just trying to make it seem that way when actually there’s a much bigger issue here.

Livin’ in perfect harmony.

It’s time for the date auction and once again, they’ve gone out of their way to find to most enthusiastic people to populate the event. Like these people are seriously excited. The cheerleaders are dancing and Coach is hyping everybody up and it’s complete cheese. Some random cheergirls go up to be auctioned and their introductions are accompanied by a little dance. Please make this stop. Lewis goes up to be bid on and he does a cute little Teach Me How to Jerk My Dougie dance. A cougar with money to blow has her eyes on him, but so does another unseen person who seems to have a little more money. This is either going to be an ex girlfriend or a creepy old man. The unknown bidder wins and lo and behold, it’s an old man. Lewis shrugs it off cause can’t nothin stop his swagga playa! Alice is up next and Jake bids on her but no one else does. Afro Girl says it’s because he’s the QB and no one is going to go against him. Well homie only bids for $50 and Alice isn’t having that so she makes him bump it up to $300 and says she let him off easy. Marti is next and Morgan is there to bid on her. He wins the date and Marti freaks out a little bit. Savy is next and her man Dan is there to win that date! But he has an opponent who ends up bidding $500 on S. This has to be the ex boyfriend. Savy lets us all know it is indeed her ex Noah and she thinks her mom gave him the cash to get the date. Clever.

A random older fellow shows up and tells Coach that there is an anonymous bidder who would like to spend $800 on a date. With her. Of course she immediately thinks its Red and starts to freak out but the gentleman won’t tell her who sent it, but she takes it because the Cats really need the money. She tells Doc about it and he is surprisingly understanding and Coach doesn’t know how to handle that since he’s usually so on edge about Red.

Savy crashes her mom’s Christian Book club. Guess I could just call it Bible study or something.  She wants to know why she sent Noah to the auction with all that money. Well her dear mother just wants her to have the life she deserves and Savy thanks her for the generous donation.

Marti is on the phone trying to find the whereabouts of the inmate’s ex girlfriend because it can help her solve the case, blah blah blah! Lewis walks in and things get steamy for a second. Alice crashes the party because Savy needs Marti. Lewis thinks it’s funny that they almost got caught but Marti isn’t amused. She doesn’t want the other Cats knowing because things could get messy.

Savy is trying on “slutty” dresses because she wants to scare the Holy Ghost out of Noah so that he can run to his family and then the gossip would fill up the churches. She really has it out for her crazy Christian mom and thinks this is the ultimate revenge. Marti warns her that this will make things between her and her family even worse but Savy doesn’t care. She refuses the change when Noah arrives and greets him like a true bad girl with, “How the hell are you?” Someone is a dangerous girl! On their date she tries really hard to be bad to the point that Noah catches on and isn’t taking the bait.

Someone doesn’t know what slutty means. Get her a dictionary!

Marti is on her date with Morgan and he is trying to get information from her about the case she has been secretly working on. Morgan actually wants to help Marti with it so she decides to let him in on all the details. The inmate’s ex girlfriend was a homeless woman who changed her alibi during the initial trial and it helped get the inmate behind bars. Also, Morgan’s check to the Hellcats was hot and Marti is pissed because they really needed the money.

Coach has dressed way down and even decided to jog to her date with Red. Really? Well she gets there and SURPRISE, it’s Doc! He lied about his business trip and flew home early to surprise her with a date and the cash for the Cats. Coach is excited but keeps going on about how she was sure it was Red and that she was protesting with bad clothes and sweat. They hug and all is merry with these two.

Savy tells Noah that she wasn’t excited about the date at first but actually had a good time since they talked and decided to be friends. Noah however, isn’t too keen on the idea of just friends and begins to reminisce about their old relationship and he tells her his plan and where he sees himself in a few years. He wants the career, relationship, marriage and kids thing that all the good Christian boys want. Of course Savy is intrigued because those are all the things the old her would have wanted. He then tells her wants to grow old with her and he keeps calling her boots. All I can think of is the little monkey from Dora.

The picture of Christian perfection?

Morgan has called Marti to meet him but he won’t tell her why. She is confused but it’s pretty obvious what’s going on. He’s found the homeless ex girlfriend, but she now lives in a cute little neighborhood and she is actually nice and clean looking. She is nice at first but her tune changes when they mention the inmate’s name and why they’re there. Somethin’ fishy is going on! Morgan wants to help but Marti won’t let him unless he pays the money back to the Cats. Good because I can’t deal with anymore, “we don’t have money for Nationals” drama.

Savy opens up to Marti about her date with Noah and how it’s messing with her head. She is considering getting back with him because it’s so easy with him and it would help with her family issues. But she likes Dan a lot because he is so carefree but it scares her. Marti says new things are scary and then finally tells her about Lewis. Savy is very excited until Marti tells her that she wants to keep it all a secret and then she tells her that she is scared of love. They decide to be strong and face their fears.

Savy goes home again and her mom’s afternoon is ruined because she was hoping it would be peaceful.  They talk about the date with Noah and then Savy tells her mom that her new life has been a hard adjustment. Mom says that she wouldn’t know because S always has walls up and never wants to really talk about it, so they decide to break down the walls. Like Chris Jericho. Whoa wrestling metaphor, sorry about that. Savy tells her mom that even though her road to happiness might be a little harder since she isn’t playing by all the Christian rules, she truly believes she’ll be happy one day and doesn’t want to go back to her old self. Her mom is actually okay with this but wants S to come home if she ever gets lost. They hug and it’s a nice little moment.

Lewis and Alice and a bunch of random Cats are all talking when in comes Marti. She simply plants a big wet one on Lewis while he’s in the middle of a sentence. Nobody seems to care, not even Alice really. Marti is pretty disappointed at the lack of shock and then Alice tells her not to get too involved because Lewis isn’t the dating type. Well Alice, Marti isn’t either and apparently that means it’s going to work out according to Marti and Lewis’ logic. Really guys, two people who don’t like relationships are going to have a perfect one? We’ll see.

Fingers crossed!

Savy meets up with Dan and she is pretty excited about traveling into the unknown with him. Dan wants to get in the truck and take S wherever she wants to go because he is sure she has a specific location in mind. But she tells him that she just wants to get in and drive and see where they end up. Dan is ecstatic and he scoops her up and tosses her in the truck and they take off! How cute!