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Saturday, August 11, 2012
10:58 am
205 Comments
Tagged: Alana, honey boo boo, redneck family, toddlers and tiaras
Mama is telling us about the “Natural Beauty” pageant that is coming up, while TLC shows her spackling Alana’s face with make-up. And all of the set ups are so obvious that it is almost jarring. But, what I am loving is that the family seems to be completely aware of how they are being portrayed and they just don’t give a shit. They are like the Honey Badger of redneck families. It’s appalling and endearing at the same time and I spent the better part of both episodes expecting my head to explode from the contradiction.
The family head’s out to the Redneck Games in East Dublin, Georgia. For those who don’t know anything about this, the Redneck Games started out as a joke. They were formed around the time that the Olympics were being hosted by Atlanta. The joke was, “This is how the rest of the world will assume the Olympics being held in Georgia will be like.” But, then the event kind of took off and toothless folk with too small clothing and ridiculous rebel flags have been going every year since.
What I love about this is that Mama is sure to differentiate her family from all of the rest of the rednecks. It’s very much a, “go ahead and laugh at those fools, because we are laughing too” kind of thing. Mama is hilarious in her interviews when she first describes it as “similar to the Olympic games, but with a lot of missing teeth and a lot of butt cracks showing.”
She goes on to say that there are some broke down people on display at the games. She admonishes “voluptuous women” to dress appropriately because “all that vajiggle jaggle, is not beautimous.” Her delivery tells me that she is so far in on the joke of this show, that she practically wrote the script. She goes on to say that you don’t see her three bellies hanging out as she then starts talking about all of the fashion fouls that we witness at the games.
Now we are up to the grossest thing I have seen in probably ever. It’s time to “bob for some pig feet.” And it is exactly what it sounds like. They put a bunch of raw pig’s feet in a tub of water and have contestants bob for them like they would apples. The one who gets the most wins. Pumpkin actually competes in this one and doesn’t win. But her family was cheering her on anyway. I don’t understand how she didn’t get sick doing that.
We move on to how hot it is and how the girls want to get in the water. But, Mama doesn’t want them to because of all of the flesh-eating bacteria in the lakes and rivers. She also doesn’t want them jumping into “the redneck bathtub.” Pumpkin really wants to risk it, but Mama is firm and Honey Boo Boo is yelling at the folks in the water that if they get flesh-eating diseases she is going to laugh at them.
It’s belly mud flop time. Honey Boo Boo and Chubs have decided to compete. It’s so freaking cute. Like every single one of my instinct alarms is going off and I’m fighting the urge to call DFACS, but I can’t not love seeing them have so much fun. Honey Boo Boo is bragging about how awesome she did and how she is going to do it again. And to see her face clean of makeup and covered in mud with so much joy, actually made me say, “awww.” Of course, that could have been the booze, but I’ll take it.
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June will let her children practically rub raw deer meat all over themselves and bob for raw pigs feet, but she won’t let them swim in the potentially bacteria-infested lake. Whatever floats your boat.
I cannot wait for this recap – and I’m with you with the mouth-gaping and forgetting to drink. I was torn too…I mean, there’s exploiting for fun and just plain exploiting, and there does seem to be something wrong about all the judging these people are now going to endure. But there’s an audience for it…so what does that say about us?
Looking forward to the recap, I do think Honey Boo Boo herself is kind of cute, but she might consider winning some pageants if she’s going to talk that much smack.
U dun gud. I live in n florida or la (lower alabama) as we call it here and i was prepared to be apalled by this show. But i was won over by june and her family, like the other rednecks i know, they are good, simple people and are the salt of the earth. No hoity toity just honest, sometimes less than book smart, but earth smart and i love em
Remember when I said I was from Georgia? I lied. I’m from a terrorist country that no one even knows about. So remote it’s not even on a map.
But if I were from Georgia, wherever that is, I’d seriously think about contacting DFACS about this family. These people scare me more than certain members of my own family who might actually live in certain parts of GA. The pig squealing parts………
Thank you for making the distinction between South Georgia and the rest of the State! Not that we’re so much better in North Georgia, but a line needed to be drawn.
And Cherie, I might have to move in with you…
Excellent recap!!! Thank you, thank you, thank you. Can’t watch as I am a snob & refuse to lower myself to the level that TLC is diving into. Can’t wait to hear what programs TLC come up with for the future . That bar needs to get lower for profits. However I will read your recaps with joy/horror since reading is educational thus warranted on my end. Now please tell me how babies get into that uterus thing
that was never clearly explained to me. Gravy dripped pass the biscuit into the bun or something? Thanks
i love honey boo boo child..sure the familys odd and they fart but most warm hearted familys do!!!
i think suger bear is missing he’s teeth..so if any of you happen to come across them please return them to suger bear he’ll need them!! lets hope mom and dad put honey boo boo’s cut of money in the bank..!!
At first I couldn’t believe what I was seeing but as the show went on it sorta grew on me. The second half hour the same. If Alana wants to be in pageants then I think they should really groom her for them. She was upset over the one she lost and it’s only going to get worse not better if she keeps losing.
I had mixed feelings about this show too. It wasn’t as bad as I expected it to be. June is really self aware and it’s nice that family seems to be in on the joke. But I feel bad for the amount of judgement they’re getting. This show is definitely not the downfall of America. There are plenty of shows just as bad on t.v., like Jersey Shore and My Big Fat American Gypsy Wedding. If you sat and watched Snooki pee behind a bar, you don’t have the right to say this show is trashy and beneath you.
Oddly enough, and I hate to say it but … I kind of liked this show. I didn’t care for June at all on T&T, but the June we’re seeing here is nothing like that June – which makes me wonder just how much editing goes on over in T&T. I think it’s the fact that these guys seem to be so self-aware that they’re probably being made fun of, and they just couldn’t give two shits about that. Behind all of the subtitled speech, June’s got a sharp wit – do you really think she was scratching the bugs on her head? I think she was just making a deadpan crack to get a laugh, honestly.
And she’s aware of her weight, but makes a point not to talk about wanting to lose weight in front of her girls, likely to avoid giving them the body image woes that everyone out there seems to have. She’s disappointed that her kid is pregnant, but she’ll support the kid regardless. The whole biscuit sequence she was sitting there trying not to crack up on camera telling people about this dumb slang word she made up. They don’t cuss, they don’t really fight, mom seems to be happy with her kids, dad seems to be happy with his family, the girls seem to be remarkably free of the bitching and drama that goes on with other reality TV teens, and it was seriously just kind of a breath of fresh air to watch a family that wasn’t at each other’s throats or being abusive or being slutty or whatever.
I really don’t know if I’ll keep WATCHING the show, but it didn’t horrify me at all like I was expecting it to.
(Plus watching Alana defend her pig’s right to be gay was on the one hand a little bizarre, and on the other hand a reflection of how she thinks. She’s a thinker, and she’s not a judgmental thinker, and it’s obv. she gets that from the rest of the fam.)
I was really surprised at how much I liked this one. I was kind of dreading just how exploitative it would be. I ended up having an argument in my head that compared this show to strippers. Are the strippers being exploited or are they exploiting the men who will give them money to see them naked? The same comparison kept running through my head when I watched this show. Is this family being exploited, or are they exploiting the viewers need to be appalled by what they see on TV?
There is an overwhelming urge to write them off as ridiculous hicks. But, June is really sharp and self aware. Honey Boo Boo’s swagger seems to come from a confidence that has been instilled in her by her family. And now that same family is farting all the way to the bank because of us.
It’s a head scratcher (of the non-buggy variety).
@Cherie, no worries. I’m originally from Alabama and I’ve chosen to live in Georgia since I graduated from college well over a decade ago. So, no judgement.
@Detinha, I’ve lived in this state long enough to know that distinctions have to be drawn between the different parts of the state.
@Sagitariuskim, I hate them getting judged so harshly too. But, I love that they just don’t care. I think it says something just how strong they are as a family that they are totally aware that people aren’t going to like them, and they are ok with it.
@PlathAddict I’m from Alabama too. What part are you from?
From day one I said I was going to watch this show with an open mind and understanding this is a reality show based off the lives of ones the most entertaining T&T families to date. I’m with you Plath I have never had such a mind-fu** as I did watching the show. Starting from the intro fart(which for some reason made me giggle even typing it) and how much they genuinely love each other and each others company makes it impossible to judge them with normal standards.
Alana stole my heart when she said that her pig could be anything he wanted to be, we can’y tell him what to do…knock knock society a 6 year old gets it why can’t you?
June knew where each and every cameras was and went to town, I know this is Alana’s show, but I want more June. My eyes welled up a bit when Sugar Bear said Alana could be Miss America one day, that man loves his kids.
@sagittariuskim, I’m from Mobile. For years I would say that Mobile didn’t count because it was on the water and therefore we were more cultured than other areas. But, it really doesn’t matter. There are going to be crazy stereotypes about Southerners no matter where we say we come from.
@Moli, I am loving Sugar Bear. I really said “awww” when he said that about her being Miss America. It’s such a dad thing to say. My dad told me that I could totally be a best selling author if I went to college and kept reading and writing. That hasn’t quite worked out for me, but I still think he is the best dad in the whole world for saying it.
I couldn’t watch more than a few minutes of this show because it hit too close to home – my husband’s white trash family we left far behind until they inevitably force us to deal with some tragedy. But the recap was fucking hilarious.
@PlathAddict Wow, I’m from Fairhope. And right now I’m going to school at UA in Tuscaloosa. I know what you mean. A girl I went to high school actually has someone tell her that she’s smart for someone from Alabama. And a friend of mine said he had someone asked him if we had indoor plumbing in Alabama.
I know that I can’t watch more then 5 minutes of ANY Housewives show without hating the fact that I’m an American female.
And that didn’t happen while watching this show. I smiled and sometimes laughed out loud rather than wanting to throw something at my tv. I”ll take June over one of those ‘classy’ rich broads any day.
@timgunnssister I think all the gasmi would take June over the housewives. She shares our favorite hobbies eating junk food, watching t.v., and snarking on people.
I was so ready to be disgusted by this show, but Alana is downright charming and I’d sure as heck prefer to sit down for a bowl of cheese balls with June than a glass of wine with those crazy dance moms. Sugar Bear was a nice surprise, too. I am not saying that I didn’t cringe now and then, but this bunch isn’t mean-spirited (though, as I posted on T&T, Pumpkin kinda irritated me when she was mouthing off to the etiquette coach.)
It was almost as funny as Borat having dinner with an etiquette coach. If some cable/satellite channel wants to do TLC one better, they could get a weekly show with the Wonderful Whites of West Virginia and get Martha Stewart to pay them a visit.
What has/have television/we come to gasmii? TLC has given us the holy grail of trash tv and we can only half-assed come up with Pumpkin’s rudeness to talk about…smh.
My favorite part was when Honey Boo Boos’ belly “talked or sang”…….even the belly had to be captioned!!
‘Talking’ body parts is a proud Southern tradition.
Did I say that out loud?
@whatwhat June cusses practically in every other sentence. Right in front of her kids.
I was torn about watching it, but I’m glad I did. There is genuine love in the family and I think that’s what shines through. Alana was on last weeks T & T and you met her gay uncle (I’m not sure if he was June’s or Sugar Bear’s brother). Alana described him as “having a little fruit in him.” It was said with nothing but love. I think that’s the difference with this family. They are in on the joke, but they like who they are.
Consider me a “high brow” but I find nothing whatsoever appealing about this family whether they are “in” on the joke or not. They are disgusting.
Farting, belching, scratching, and playing with their bellies is not cute, adorable, or amusing. Just gross.
And spending time watching Alana behave like an out of control show off for the benefit of the cameras and the paycheck is a waste of time all around. Applauding these people only encourages more like them out there to behave as outrageously and as senselessly as these morons who obviously have never held a book in their hands as evidenced by their command of the language.
Honey Boo Boo is a pain in the ass for starters and TLC spending time filming this trash is another indication of how low the bar has been set when “humor” is how loud you can fart and how quickly they can identify which one of this sorry group is the culprit.
Celebrating the lowest common denominator in this nation says as much about us as it does them.
Katie, I completely agree. TLC has basically showcased a box of rocks. The lack of education is sad. The lack of manners and basic consideration sadder still. Alana is never going to win a pageant unless they institute one at the Redneck Games. I am raising three daughters to be gracious, polite, intelligent human beings. June is raising four pigs – three on two legs, one in the crib. TLC: The Learning Channel? That’s a bigger joke than June’s chin.
I could see the love between them and that was great. But I still think the kids are really poorly raised. Alana hardly said hello to the coach and when some journalist asked her a question on CNN, she just went “Do I look like I know?” and June just laughed it off..
So what you are saying Katie is that high brow people don’t fart, scratch, or belch? Do they take a pill to prevent those bodily functions? What happens if they have gas or get bitten by a mosquito? Inquiring minds want to know.
I’m surprised that nobody has compared this show to its predecessor “starring” another T&T alum… Or rather her mother.
Alana and Eden are both southern girls who participate in pageants. End of comparison.
When I first saw June I was horrified. Now I realize what a physiognomist I am and I am ashamed. True, June and her family would do well for their appearance and health by working a garden for exercise and nutrition rather than saving coupons (okay, in addition to) for Cheeseydoodles and other snacks. But who would I rather spend an hour on a Greyhound bus with?
Mickie has been hashed and trashed, rightly so, in our comments about her show her show. She’s a drunken egomaniac with no concern for anyone but her own nasty self and her long over 15 minutes. She claims to be a teacher, bit her daughter can’t read.
June makes no claims to parental perfection, and while Mickie’s pageant daughter is tricked out for the program in makeup and costumes reciting platitudes for the girls she pretends to help, Alana is simply a much-loved kid doing kid stuff as we watch her outrageous family mug for the camera.
One program focuses on the awful adults, the other on the family. I haven’t seen either program, I have only read the terrific recaps. I wouldn’t waste a moment on the Eden fiasco, but I will watch Alana, farts, belly talk (ugh) and all. And I will follow Plath’s every comment about them.
*sigh*. Take June warts and all; take me typos and all.
am loving this and so on board with the family–no they are now The Family!!!!
They had me at that first fart. Jeebus–we dont have to let this show decant properly with a few episodes. Glitzy and the etiquette lady are like a hug from Baby Jesus.
back to reading recap and what I know will be some lucious comments.
I need a name too—Chubbs is already take–snapping fingers in a Gee Whiz way
OK– have read and am glad we all seem to be on board here. This is a family of self-acceptance.
Chubbs and her pearl necklace.
All the paper towels.
I want to meet the baby daddy for Chichadee’s young un.
@ 14 Moli– word that. I love that too– “we cant tell a pig what to do” Love that. Its her pig and she will defend his right to be.
Someone else on the t&t recap put it better than I can, but while June and the rest of the family may be “in on the joke” and okay with how they are being portrayed, Alana is too young to be able to consent to this, and is absolutely being exploited.
A little late to the game, I guess but here I am…
I really wasn’t sure if I wanted to check this show out or not, because I also hail from The South, and I will defend us to my dying breath when people imply that we’re all inbred idiots. My BFF and I even talked about it, because she openly admits that she hails from a family of rednecks, and she didn’t want to see that sort of exploitation on her television. Bitchy moms from Philly pushing their little girls into years of therapy because of dance school? Bring it on! Hicks embodying all the negative stereotypes that Yankees and West Coasters like to attribute to us? No way in hell.
BUT, congrats Plath. You have me convinced that I should at least give it a shot and see what I think. And also, i’m glad that you are recapping it, because you GET what it is and you’re not going to spend an entire recap pulling the “uneducated, red state, white trash, who cares?” stereotype card like some other people would have done. You actually saw this family for the nuanced, good-hearted people that they are. I raise my glass of Boones Farm to you, lovely lady.
P.S. @Plath & Sags: GREETINGS FROM ORANGE BEACH, AL! Small world! Okay, technically I’m from Pensacola, but I just spent the tourist season working over in Orange Beach. We should have a get together for sweet tea and beignets sometime.
Fairhope and Orange Beach on the same comment thread? It’s like Christmas in August! One thing that I always brag about when telling people I’m from Mobile, is that our city was the first one to ever celebrate Mardi Gras – even though New Orleans gets all of the credit. I always feel a little bit smug when people are so surprised to hear about that bit of history.
Of course that doesn’t change the fact that I had to take speech therapy classes when my family moved to Florida because my guidance counselor was afraid no one would understand my accent.
Ok I’ll fess up, I am one of the snobs. Correct me if I am wrong, but TLC stands for The Learning Channel- So what am I learning, how to be fat, stinky, fart properly? Go to auctions and by junk food? Line my house with paper towels and toilet paper? What am I missing?
I can see they are a family that loves each other, good for them. Some of the Pageant parents are disgusting the way they treat their children. Though Alana is sort of cute, she is not Pageant cute nor does she have the grace to pull it off. I feel bad that she wil keep losing; kids can only take losing so long.
Maybe with a coach we’ll see some improvement, but with her background, I don’t see grand supreme with anchovies.
They are rude, crude and uneducated. Again I ask, what will I learn?
Plath, i feel ya on the Mardi Gras celebrations. I actually got into an argument with someone from New Orleans about who had the oldest celebration. He just wouldn’t let it go, even though I busted about my History Degree learnins and backed my facts up.
Also fun, explaining to people that my area of Florida is culturally Southern, even if we’re the northwest tip of the state. AND we’re in central time to boot! So much miseducation these days. *sigh.
Speech therapy? Really? I just spent a year in Colorado surrounded by people from Chicago and NYC. I think we sound just fine.
@Pat Ledoux, I don’t work for TLC. But, I do think I gave a very good explanation of what the Vagina is versus what the Vulva is. I intend to include these tidbits throughout my recaps. And I’ve already been asked to discuss exactly how it is that babies end up in the uterus. So, even if you aren’t getting the goods directly from TLC, you are going to learn lots and lots of stuff from these recaps. And, since knowing is half the battle, why not stay tuned?
@Elmstreet, the vast majority of Northern Florida might as well be called South Georgia, South Alabama, and Southern Mississippi. They don’t call Panama City the Redneck Riviera for nothing.
The speech therapy was kind of hurtful. But, the guidance counselor was coming from a really good place. He had only recently immigrated to the US from Cuba and found that even though he spoke excellent English, people still claimed not to understand his accent. He thought that since I was extremely bright, it would be horrible if people treated me as though I weren’t under the guise of not understanding what I was saying. He even arranged transportation for me to get to the classes – of course I had to ride the short bus to get there and back, but I am glad that my parents made me do it.
I consider it all a part of why I am so awesome today.
I think Jabber the Hutt might know about flesh-eating bacteria because of the ziplining young woman in the news earlier this summer. But I cringed throughout the two shows at what else her children could have been exposed to:
- toxoplasmosis and trichinosis from the raw pigs’ feet
- hookworm from the mud pit
- balantidiasis from the pig poop in the baby playpen
- who-knows-what bacteria from roadkill venison which is then prepared outdoors with presumably no handwashing facitilies
@Plath: Awwww, that makes sense, now. I had the impression that your speech therapist was one of those Floridians that pretends that Floida is just an extension of New England and should sound like it.
Indeed, you are awesome.
Ha, Redneck Riviera! Honestly, I call the entire strip from Panama City to Gulf Shores that. Sometimes, Biloxi is an honorary member.
@Schadenfreude, I’m pretty sure the only reason June knew about the flesh-eating bacteria was because there was a sign posted at the river.
I immediately worried about trichinosis from the pigs feet. The teacup pig didn’t poop in the play pen though – although there was a worry that he may have farted. I don’t remember the roadkill venison though. Was that an extra footage thing?
The mud pit does bring up an interesting question though. The water was from a hose, but there’s no telling what kind of issues the other people jumping in would have. Did they make the participants sign a document stating they had no types of infections or fungus? I did consider that Honey Boo Boo may be exposing herself to pinkeye at the very least. But, I can’t lie. I loved seeing her have so much fun with her sister.
@Elmstreet, Thanks! Knowing that I am awesome is one thing. Having other people acknowledge just how awesome I am is priceless!
The speech therapist was actually a very nice lady who started each session by telling me that there was nothing wrong with me or the way that I spoke. She was just there to make sure that everyone else in the world had the opportunity to realize that.
And, I can’t believe you mentioned Gulf Shores! Memories… Plus, we used to ride over to Biloxi to hit the beach all the time. Did you ever visit Waterworld in Dothan? It’s a water park that our church would take us to on field trips. Talk about your Redneck Riviera’s.
MOB-TOWN! I went to Auburn Plath so I have many friends from Mobile and have been there many times. The running joke with me and my friends is that the water makes people from Mobile a little loco. It’s probably why you are able to do such great recaps
@Plath: I’ve never been to the Waterworld in Dothan. I did hit up the one in Gulf Shores last year when I had some family camping out at Gulf Shores Nat’l Park. It was … adequate, but all that mattered to me was that the lazy river was nice and cool. Yay heat and humidity! Or, as I call it, Nutsack Weather.
Where in Florida did you live? I moved to Jacksonville first, then Pensacola (which is my hometown). I went to FSU as well, so of course I had a tenure in Tally. It’s crazy how different the culture and people are the further east and south you go. When I was going to FSU, you could easily pinpoint who was from west of Tallahassee and who was from everywhere else in FL. I haven’t spent a lot of time in GA, but it sounds like it’s the same way there too. Coastal lowlands vs. North vs. Central vs. Atlanta.
@Classy – it’s that marshy, run-off water from Mobile Bay. It contains extra sarcasm and causes you to lose some screws a little more easily. Especially when mixed with some bourbon and served on the rocks.
@Classy, I was never able to tell if it was the water or the heat that made us a little extra.
@Elmstreet, we started out in Tampa. Then, we made our way to Sarasota, Fort Myers, and finally my parents landed in Lehigh they still live there. I couldn’t take how flat everything was and moved to Macon, Georgia for college (I met Phaedra Parks my first year of college – she and a group of other recent graduates came back to meet the new class). After college, I moved to Atlanta, and decided to move to Athens on a whim. Aside from a short stint in Sandy Springs a couple of years ago, I’ve been here ever since.
Orange Beach is here now. Alabama is popping up all over the place. including Toddlers and Tiaras this week one of the featured families was from Saraland. There was also a family Smith Station, Al.
@Plath Don’t worry your reason for going to Speech therapy could be worst. I had to go to it, but my reason was because I had trouble with words beginning with ch and sh, and that ended with er. I also would add an r to milk. And I was extremely shy and quiet, so they were hoping it would help me come out of my shell. The bright side is I got miss part of class to go play fun games for a little while. And the roadkill venison happened during Toddlers and Tiaras. Alana was one of the featured kids in this week’s episode.
@Classy I think it’s the heat. Constant exposure to humid 90 degree weather does something to you.
@Sag – I’ve noticed that these small cities in our neck of the woods are starting to pop up on tv here and there. Methinks some higher up must be from around here, or we’re starting to get the bleed over from those film/tv people doing work in Louisiana for the tax credits. Isn’t Steve Wozniak from Fairhope, Al too?
@Plath: I may rag on south FL, but I do think that area is pretty cool and I’ll take Busch Gardens over Disneyworld any day of the week. I think given enough time, we’ll start to see Crackers on tv as much as we see Cajuns and rednecks. Central Florida/Everglades represent!
@Elmstreet I’m not sure. The only reason I know who Steve Wozniak is, is because of The Big Bang Theory. It really is weird until recently, the only time I’ve seen Alabama on a reality show, is when the Style network had that show Split Ends. It was basically Wife Swap for hair stylists, and once episode featured a stylist from a kid’s salon in Mobile. Oh yeah, and there was the time a Fairhope restaurant called Panini Pete’s was on Diners,Drive-Ins, and Dives. I should probable eat there one day.
Isn’t Steve Wozniak from Fairhope, Al too?
Let’s clear this up right now. NO!
I would visit you Plath but I’ve been banned from Athens…lol
I think the family dumbs themselves down for the camera. Look at their pretty nice furniture and their clean house. I think they act the way they do for the show and in daily life are probably not as gross as they act.
I guess this show brought out all of the transplants that live in the south now. I live in Pensacola, shoutouts to mobile, fairhope, gulfshores & @Elmstreet we live in the same town, so random. I have been describing this place for 20 years & no one ever believed me. I feel so validated by Honey Boo Boo & her family. They are the rule, not the exception. Lisa
@CrankyGuy, Martha Stewart Meets the Wonderful Whites? Best. Idea. Ever.
I’m a Southern girl through and through. I attended etiquette classes after school during fourth, seventh and twelfth grades. I can lead a cotillion Grand march blindfolded and walking backwards in high heels if need be. (I admit that I did wear red lipstick & nail polish during Rush, which makes me a hussy). I’m 30-something (a true Belle never reveals her age) and even I have a frozen dish in the freezer for a ‘emergencies’ because that is something I learned from my great-grandmother, grandmother and mother. I know Honey Boo Boo’s family would call us “square” or “tight-@ssed” or whatever Mama said about the etiquette coach but we’ve always attended to our bodily functions discreetly, even at home, because that is polite. True ladies and gentlemen know that life is a stage and you are always “on”. Also, our Sunday School teachers taught us that God and Baby Jesus were always watching us, and it’s simply ingrained in us that no one wants to poot in front of His Holy Presence.
I never thought I’d see the day when Scarlett O’Hara would be replaced as the poster child of The South.
My grandmother is rolling over in her grave, I’m sure.
My biggest beef with the Honey Boo Boos is that Sugar Bear works 7 days a week. 7 days a week, I say! Jabba needs to get off her Hutt-sized @ss and get a jobby-job real quicklike*. I think what sickened me the most about this show is the example she is setting for her daughters. She looks slovenly, which has nothing to do with her size–surely she can hold a hairdryer and round brush. She needs a little edumacation on that whole pesky little food pyramid/healthy plate thing. Just because a cheez ball is a colorful orange ball does not mean it’s healthy. She’s younger than I am but I honestly thought she was at least 10 years older.
I applauded Chubbs(I’ve forgotten her real name) for wanting to lose weight. I hope she succeeds in spite of her family’s indifference.
Count me among those who will not stomach this show. I will read the recaps though-everyone must have a guilty pleasure.
*I may come from a place where one doesn’t end a sentence with a preposition but I nevertheless am fluent in Redneckese.
@Classy, it takes a lot to be out right banned from the entire City of Athens. Color me impressed!
PlathAddict, I did forget to thank you for the outstanding vagina/ vulva lesson!
Good recap too.
John Waters couldn’t dream up a worse family. Yes, they obviously love one another. Yes, Alana is a spitfire with a huge personality. You know what else? Yes, they will all be dead before their time from diabetes or rotten gums. Sooo… yeah, not funny or entertaining to me. A six-year-old hickwad novelty won’t be as awesome when the camera turns off and she has to deal with actual life.
@Pat, I do love to educate!
How much staying power will this show have? Do they have more to offer or is it just gonna be more fartin’, scratchin’, mud-rollin’, junk food-eatin’, and mangled English? I’m not sure they have enough material for an encore.
@crankguy. I agree. If it gets boring TLC can always sign on Glitzy the pig. He can fart, scratch, mud roll, eat junk food, dry hump boy pigs, make little Glitzy piglets then when that gets boring they can ground him up. Honey Boo Boo can show the audience her belly, talk to Glitzy & let out big Glitzy farts & of course the family will be laughing all the bank.
Why do I miss all the good posts! Must start reading on the weekend!
oops….all the way to the bank
It seems that they really love each other in this family and I love that. My stomach couldn’t handle the whole episode (farts, burps, etc) but that what the recap is for, right? and I thought it was right on the money…thanks for that PA! For those that mentioned that this show won’t probably last, please remember the Kardashians…don’t even know how many “seasons” they have but have been able to make a lot of money by having a show about….nothing really. At least this show seems somewhat entertaining and they are able to laugh at themselves.
side note: for those worried about trichinosis from the pig’s feet: it’s been virtually eliminated from american pig farms, which is why the standard cooking temps for pork has been lowered in recent years.
all other health concerns are valid!
I have to say one thing about the farting, scratching, and belching. Aside from the intro in which a fart is looped in, no one actually farted during the episode. There was the quick cut of June scratching her head and Chubs burped once during the etiquette lesson. So, all in all, I’m not sure how those particular things became what the show is known for.
I think that we will probably see them start making an effort to lose weight, we’ll see Chickadee with her new baby story line, and of course all of the getting ready for pageants with Alana. I think that they have plenty of stuff that they can show, it just depends on the direction TLC wants to take. They obviously knew that farting, belching, and scratching wouldn’t be enough to hold our interest. So, I’m glad that there was so little of that going on and we actually got to know the family and how they view themselves.
@plath addict: i wonder if all the farting commentary comes from people who watched the toddlers and tiaras episode before this (honey boo boo and june were featured). alana did fart a few times in that episode. als0-i guess all the talk of farting for health just put it in people’s minds. but i’m glad you brought this up.
@Michkabibbles, that makes sense. I don’t normally watch Toddlers and Tiaras, and totally missed that episode. So, I was confused why people kept accusing this show of glorifying those behaviors when we didn’t actually see any of that on either episode.
It’s true, I saw the previous T&T episode and when the Here comes…show started there some mentioned to it and I decided that I couldn’t take it no more as I assumed that was probably gonna be more prominent on the whole show. Maybe a mistake on my part…you know what they say when you assume
no one actually farted during the episode
If there was no actual fart during the lesson on table manners, there was certainly the threat of one. I guess I would have to go back and watch again to get an actual fart count, but even I have better things to do.
Things were going really bad for me last week and I needed some major cheering up. I laughed my ass off at this show, and even for a couple hours afterwards I didn’t feel like slitting my wrists. How’s that for a ringing endorsement? Regardless of whether this show is to your taste, I can’t believe people still take the name “The Learning Channel” so seriously these days. It’s never been PBS as far back as I can remember…
“I can’t believe people still take the name “The Learning Channel” so seriously these days.”
Well, the name definitely does not match the programming. Way back when they could actually call themselves that with a straight face, there was not high speed internet with universities offering all sorts of video courses for free, so they would probably go broke these days actually trying to live up to the name. There is a company called The Great Courses which used to make a lot of money selling tapes and DVDs of college courses, but I bet the freebies on the internet have seriously cut into their bottom line.
The show is on a 6 episode cycle and I imagine that TLC will decide if they will renew it. I’m certain they have enough
gasstorylines to last 6 shows.@Plathaddict -just watched T&T then changed the channel as the music from “Deliverance” popped into my head. Saw Deliverance in the 70′s & some rainy afternoon need to rent & see if it scares me as much as the first time I watched it. Wouldn’t be surprised if it seems kind of normal now.
Great recap. Is it possible from here on out to have a true count on all body functions that HBB & family can mustard for their show?
I sure hope they have 6 and then go forward with it….:-)
@ crankyguy – so there was a time when the programming was actually educational, huh? Must admit I’ve only started watching TLC shows probably in about the last 6 years or so.
@Cranky, Chubs didn’t actually fart at the table. She asked if it was ok and went on to explain that she is able to let one go no matter what the situation. But, there was no actual passing of the gas.
@crockpot, I guess I could try giving a bodily function count, but if the first two episodes were any indication, it would be kind of pointless.
@Helena Handbasket — yep, at least ten years ago . . . maybe longer. It used to be a channel where one could catch up on reruns of classic PBS educational series like Cosmos, The Mechanical Universe, French in Action, and Ken Burns documentaries plus other edumacational stuff.
Thank you for the excellent recap! I was worried that it might be a total bashing of the show. Instead it was very fair (but very funny) and reflected the way I felt about them, too. People can be very cruel and insensitive. I was sold on Honey Boo Boo (Alana) from the very first. She’s a sweet kid and I would rather watch her and her family than some of the garbage that goes for entertainment these days. I do hate to see Alana cry and wish she had more coaching with her pageants. I would really get a kick out of seeing her win Ultimate Grand Supreme Whatever–wouldn’t you?
@Plath, in my younger days I was more of a rough and tumble drunk not the classy drunk that I am now. So being feisty and going to a rival school do not mix well. Therefore I have a self imposed ban as to not end up like Chad Johnson. In the clink…
Will this family be in on the joke several years from no when their TLC money is gone and Honey Boo Boo and her sisters have little boo-boos of their own running amok in that awful little Georgia house? I really doubt that TLC forks over that much moolah to these “reality” show suckers they feature. That’s why the shows are on in the first place; they’re dirt cheap to produce and there are no actors with demanding salaries. I somehow don’t think this TLC dough or the hard-earned money poor Pappy Bear makes is being put towards educating those girls. It certainly isn’t going towards good nutrition. Sure, highbrow, educated people fart and have bodily functions the same as everybody else, but they have enough class and respect for others not to perform them in public. There’s nothing wrong with being proud and accepting who your are and what life you were dealt, but not even appearing to want to improve your manners, education or those of your children is foolish. Somehow my sense of humor has vanished with this show. At least with the Housewives franchise, it’s no skin off their rhinoplasty noses if we make fun of them. In many cases, they fully deserve our ridicule because they are narcissistic and vain, traits that aren’t to be admired. Besides, it’s obvious that the producers have told June and her brood to be as obnoxious and outrageous as possible. Watching the Thompson family is like laughing at the antics of a clan of chimps at the zoo. They’re held captive for our entertainment and would be better off in their natural habitat, left alone. I’ve got to go somewhere to get my humor back.
@Nicki, thanks boo. I think the reason there hasn’t been much coaching is because they can’t afford it for one thing, and because I don’t the the family takes pageants as seriously as the other pageant families do. I haven’t watched Toddlers and Tiaras, but I don’t get the sense that June is or will ever be a typical Pageant Mom.
@Classy, hahahahaha! When I saw that Cinco de Mayo got fired and their show got cancelled, I was all “all that boycotting for nothing. These idiots went and got themselves cancelled.” Also, I want to hear more about those rough and tumble days. Were their brawls? Did they include overweight bikers wearing leather, or just stupid frat boys with nothing else to do on a Friday night?
@Gilty, I suppose they will still be in on the joke since, according to you, they will just be right back where they started. But, since no one here is making fun of them, but instead are pleasantly surprised that they are decent people with a sense of humor and more intelligence than TLC is giving them credit for; maybe, just maybe, when this is all over, they will be even further along and in on the joke – that’s what I’m hoping for at least. Good luck to you with getting your sense of humor back.
Awesome job Plath. Your ‘know your biscuit’ lesson had me longing for the days of the afterschool special. I think your next lesson should warn the masses of the dangers that lurk when cooling off in a bacteria laden people stew.
The Lernin’ Channel had me on an emotional trip with this show. It is funny and disturbing at the same time, though I really like June’s self awareness.
Honey and the Boo Boo’s were definately not the worst group at the Redneckolympics. I think it is safe to say that when June tells you to cover your fat ass up, life may no longer be worth living.
THANK-YOU, THANK-YOU, THANK-YOU for the anatomy lesson. That Goddammed Oprah started the whole vajayjay nonsense and I have been fighting a losing battle ever since trying to convince women that their vagina is visible only when their feet are in stirrups and a cold speculum is in play.
Though I will add that in my 20+ year nursing career I have actually seen vagina once- it was an old lady in my small town who had about a dozen kids at home with no doctor and her entire female apparatus was prolapsed, i.e. hanging outside of the body. She used something called a pessory (sp?), like a Kotex with straps around her waist, to keep everything bound up.
@Maudtherriault — you made me curious enough to search for “vaginal prolapse” in Google Image. It changed my life, and not in a good way. Well, at least I won’t be quite so grossed out by outie belly buttons now.
@Plath, when I was pregnant and getting ready for my 20 week sonogram, I read about what doctors look for when determining the baby’s gender. One website said the docs will either see a frank or a hamburger. I loved the euphemism..because even in the diagram, it looked like a hamburger bun. Kinda like a biscuit, no? Either way, my daughter sometimes gets off the potty and dances and flips (future Gabby Douglas) and when she starts doing forward rolls, I say, “Get that hamburger outta mah face.” Purely for my own entertainment because she has no idea what I’m saying and keeps on dancing until she can be coaxed back on the potty.
I agree June’s totally different from how she got edited on Toddlers and Tiaras. And I’m still sticking to my guess that they’re maybe 2 generations come up from the swamp.
They’ve been on all the talk shows etc by now. So they’re used to being judged. I just hope the fame doesn’t turn their heads. Because specially stacked up next to what we’re used to seeing on reality shows they come across as a real nice family.
But some people are just going to be dead set against anybody that doesn’t keep the same ways they do. The most undiscovered tribe in Discovery Channel history’s got people like that in it. Just like Beverly Hills does. And every other where.
I can’t help but wonder though. Supposing those hard judging people were to up and die. And their kid could go to Micki Wood, Kris Jenner or June. Which would they pick?
Frank or hamburger? Vaginal prolapse? You guys are awesome! I am having a better time reading the comments than I did watching the show. Thank you.
I had surgery that day so I was on lots of fun drugs and would watch for a few and sleep for a few minutes. Thanks for the great recap, it filled in all the blanks for me. I can do without farting. June must of had her first daughter when she was 15 years old. Her daughter is 17 years old and pregnant. I hope as a family that sat down for a good/long discussion on why you should prevent teenage pregnancies. Good for June and her husband if they have been together happily that long. I have a few friends who constantly say that they do not care what anyone thinks off them, etc…. Lots of times it comes out that that is not so true. What I would love to see is TLC provide a nutritionalist and a trainer. Go through the cabinets for some basic food lessons. I am not saying that they all need to be a size 4, I am saying that I would like to see this family get something out of this deal. I love that Alana is not your typical pageant girl and they are not spending millions and that they truly support her. I have had enough of the plastic pageant girl. It would be great to watch the family participate in activities that are fun and healthy. I think June says that she is fine with her 3 chins so she appears to be in on the joke. June starts exercising and eating right she will truly be a force to not mess with and it would be great to see the girls and Daddy doing the same.
Just trying to push this recap to 100.
@Plath, not necessarily brawls, but I have had to mush a drunken sorority girl in the face for overstepping her boundaries. Getting to friendly with my boo, saying something inappropriate, getting to close after I’ve asked her to step back.
I am so glad the show is cancelled. I hope they ask her to leave Basketball Wives also. Then maybe I MIGHT watch again.
Look out Kardashians! Finally show biz has got it right and gave the Two-Headed Girl her own show! I am enthralled by what little I have seen in the previews — the eye makeup to make them look “better” (Oh, how attractive…), their sparkling personalities and wit which relates so well to viewers (Freaks! Two heads and not a brain between them) and their own friends who say, “They get stared at every day…” Really? Why? They’re so “real” and “normal” — like any other ordinary two-headed girl who can’t manage to ride a bike or drive a car, but that won’t stop this perky twosome (or oneblobsome or whatever) from making an ass out of themselves on international tv. I’m not sure but I think they were the botched first experiment to make Kate and Ashley. Still, I am concerned about the future. Honey Boo Boo may have to have a second head attached during sweeps. The only way this show could be any better is if they were hoarders in rehab who didn’t know they were pregnant and the baby daddy was Zsa Zsa’s husband. All we really want to know is: which sister is in charge of the va-jay-jay and what’s going on down there technically? I don’t know scripture very well but I believe this show is a sign of The End. I can just see them on Dancing With The Stars!
@crown clown, I feel absolutely horrible about myself that I giggled thigh that entire rant.
*through(out)*
Almost at a hunnid!
@crown clown If you mean the Hensel twins they can drive. They both took the test. And each 1′s got her own license.
My friend had some poignant questions for these twins. Namely, what happens if one of them wants to become a vegetarian?
A dolla makes me holla, honey boo boo chile!
#100
Sheeeeeeeeeesh! Where are ya gurl?
We’re so close. Almost congrats, Plath!
And they walked at a nearly normal age, rode a bike at much the same age as any “normal” child, graduated college, swim, play a number of sports, and clearly have more wit and intelligence than CC.
I’ve got my battle cry ready …
BraaaaaaaaAAApt
#104 ???? There is a serious lag in the system somewhere.
. . . clearly have more wit and intelligence than CC.
Well, two heads are better than one.
Gee Pageant- grandma…. I didnt mean to get your head in a whirl. Thanks for the heads up. I mean, I’m sure they are very smart, and head of the class. Really, the head honchos. I must have been out of my head to make such jokes. I imagine those girls are headstrong and will stand head and shoulders over my comments. Hopefully they are hard headed and my little puns wont go to their head…. heads.
I am getting addicted to internet solitaire.
I’m missing everything.
@Classy, I wish I could have seen that! Why do bitches always want to step to someone else’s man?
I can’t believe this thread made it to over 100 comments! That’s a first for me. Thanks guys!
@Plath, I know why they want to step to someone else’s man. (he was pretty cute) I just don’t understand you doing it in my face.
Congrats Plath! I am glad our Southern discussion was able to get you over the hump.
@Cranky, is that supposed to be a burp or a fart…or neither?
@classy drunk, I made those two posts when the counter was at 98 so that part was a fail as they ended up as posts #103 and #104, and then it’s not even obvious what the battle cry is. It was supposed to be a fart — a big, loud, cheesy ball fart.
“Because at no time should your vagina be viewable, no matter how short your dress.”
HAHAHAHA! That was totally brilliant…I’m with you on how this show exploits the family, yet at the same time, they are kind of lovable. Much more interesting than Eden and her band of angry “adults.”
Also – on T&T last week, we were introduced to Alana’s gay uncle who they call “Poodle.” They are totally cool with the gay thing and I’m glad they are letting their GLBT pig be who he wants to be. Hope he doesn’t end up a game at the Redneck Olympics next year, though!
Great recap (I originally only thought it was the minicap!) – can’t wait for this week’s!
I’m to hell thanks to crown clown, congrats Plath!!!!
I’m with you Crank! I was #98 even after I hit the post button. Hmmmmmmm.
Well, congratulations fer sure, Plath. You are in the elite club— and without the assistance of a troll.wow.
Wondered why we haven’t “seen” you lately, Sheesh. I’m addicted to the slots, myself.
Wow, watching this show made me sad for the state of humanity…or at least America. I have never watched Toddlers & Tiaras so I had no preconceptions about this family going in. I was flipping through channels, watched a few minutes and then couldn’t take my eyes off of the train wreck. In fact, I had to record it just so I could show my boyfriend. I cannot believe there are actually people like this out there!
I know people seem to be saying that their love shows through, they are good people, etc. I agree that they do clearly love each other and seem to enjoy their life. However, what those parents are doing to those children is child abuse in my opinion! The lack of education, particularly sex education and nutrition, in that family is appalling! If your children need to be close captioned because their accent is so incomprehensible, you need to get them an education! And the fact that everyone is okay with the 17 year old being pregnant after the Mom must have had her at 15 is terrible! Mistakes happen, I get that. But, if you make that mistake, you should do everything in your power to teach your children about responsible sex and birth control! Parents like that just perpetuate the cycle of poverty and ignorance. They may be “in on the joke”, but those poor kids sure aren’t. They were born into the joke and have no shot at a better life from what I can see.
Sheesh and Snow, I know what you mean
Solitaire and Slots….hmm maybe I should just go hit up the local casino…eh, nah, driving on the freeway ignights my anxiety! Which is already at 110% due to the fact that I have a job interview later this week! I have not been on an interview in over 5 years!!
Anywho…I watched both episodes today…Meh is what I got out of it! Note to self. Don’t let MR Z bring home a teacup pig!! I’d rather have an unruly Daschund with no manners then a shreiking pig.
I do have to say that this family really does enjoy themselves…? Theirselves? (shit I don’t know) Poppa Bear, does have his teeth…I was paying attention to that. It is hard to believe that June is just a couple years older then I am…I could don’t imagine having a baby at 15. Heck I couldn’t do it at 21…..It still scares me at 32, but it is nice to see that that baby is already loved!
I could have slapped ” Mrs Manners”. The girls were what 6 and 12, yeah they still think burping and farting is hilarious…I hope that June does go along with the weight loss. I lost 100 pounds a few years ago, and I did not do it the healthy way…yeah lets just say, I am not that skinny anymore, and I do know that I need to loose some of this weight again…I am in a wedding next month, and yeah…although my dress is cute, and I have seen it on both the bride before, and my pregnant sister, I don’t think I look that great in it! Strapless, and short, and dark purple…I am white, chubby and have boobies….(I know that sheesh, keigh, and Snow can look at the picture)
Anyways, this is a rambling mess, but, I will probably DVR the next 4 shows…I mean, if the Duggars are coming back for another season, why shouldn’t Alana get another season. Yes I remember when you could actually learn stuff from TLC…but I will say this as I “walk” out the door, I do watch the Duggars, I really love Jackson and Johanna…those kids crack me up, now, if TLC were to give some of the older kids their own show, I would watch that…Yeah I love mindless tv can’t you tell?
OH, PS. Plath thanks for recapping! I know it is hard to snark on a family that the majority of us actually like.
@jerseyj, I think you need some Redneck American sensitivity training. Redneck Americans have every right to raise their youngins in the traditions of their wonderful culture without a lot of finger wagging by judgmental do-gooder outsiders. Help me celebrate it tomorrow starting with a hearty breakfast of Coca-Cola, Little Debbie Oatmeal Creme Pies, and Cheetos. See ya at the mud hole!
“If you mean the Hensel twins they can drive. They both took the test. And each 1′s got her own license.”
If they get pulled over for speeding, who loses points?
One head of the Hensel twins controls one side of the body and the other head the other side. What if one head wants to change lanes and the other head doesn’t? Or run a yellow light, etc. I really don’t understand how they can drive.
“And the fact that everyone is okay with the 17 year old being pregnant after the Mom must have had her at 15 is terrible!”
i agree that there were some obvious misteps here, but i think it’s important to note that chickadee was in her third trimester at the time this was filmed. they’ve had 6 months to come to terms with the situation, and i, for one, don’t think june needs to call out her 17 year old daughter on television for it. they seem like they’re trying to make the best of a tough situation. just because we’re seeing them ok with it now, doesn’t mean they were ok with it when they first heard about it.
I tried, but this is like seeing a dead person when you are passing an accident. You are hoping to see something then fully regret looking when you get your wish.
This Family is pure Trash……..My Brother is a victim of these Gypsies. I can’t say that I know the baby daddy (sugar bear) or (Alana) but I know June and those 3 older girls. June is a previous Welfare Mom and scammer and has used those girls to do so. I’m surprised that she actually has custody of the kids cause for most of their lives she didn’t. When I say white trash, I mean they are some real white trash as you can see the apple don’t fall far for the tree, June’s ass had that oldest girl when she was 15 pregnant at 14 and the trash girl, Anna has followed in the babymakin footsteps. Although the girl got pregnant in the care of the trashy no good for nothin Grandmother.
@Classy, I totally feel you. I had to get ugly at a block party a little while back – I think I told you guys about it in a recap for a different show. Bitches need to know their places when it comes to that shit. It’s like they are intentionally trying to get your blood pressure up just to see what will happen.
@cranky, I think Cheetos may be a bit too highbrow for this particular family. But, I salute you with a mouth full of Oatmeal Cream Pies and beer (they weren’t drinking beer, but I can adapt)!
@michkabibbles, I agree completely. My grandmother was married and had her first child (my mom) at 15 and my mom had me at 17. As I have said, I turned out AWESOME, as did my siblings. Not a single teenaged pregnancy amongst us and all college educated and did I mention completely AWESOME? So, that is one thing that I won’t judge them on, simply because it would make me a total hypocrite.
@labowner, I have never wanted to see a dead person when passing an accident (or ever). I also never slow down during one because it will hold up traffic and everyone just wants to get home. Maybe that’s why I don’t regret watching this show?
Does anyone else think it’s hilarious that the family doesn’t believe themselves to be rednecks based on the simple fact that they all still have all of their teeth? Maybe they need some American Redneck sensitivity training ala crankyguy?
With regard to the hensels (and they are young women, not “heads”)– each twin controls and feels sensation on her side of the body only, save a small area mid-back where there is some crossover in sensation). For driving, one controls the pedals (the right twin), one the controls on the left (the left twin) and both steer. It seems crazy, and it would be if you were randomly attached to another person, but remember this is all Rey have known for 22 years. It’s second nature to them, as is, I am sure, putting up with stares and rude comments from people whose parents clearly should have done a better job. Regarding the boo-boo’s, I don’t really have an opinion of the adults, who I am sure are laughing all the way to the bank, but Alana, who may well think this is fun now, is too young to understand the implications, or to provide any reasonable consent. I would guess the reason the family seems to “not have a problem” with the teen’s pregnancy is that she is fairly far along, and they’ve already come to terms with it. We don’t know how they felt about it when she first told them– maybe they hit the roof.
@Pageant-grandma, you need sensitivity training as well, given your rude and hurtful comments directed at both crown clown and me. I have had no opportunity in my life to become inured to catty comments from members of the pageant world, so you can imagine how deeply you have wounded me.
I’ll get right on that, cranky.
.
@pageant-grandma-do you know the hensels personally, or have they been in another documentary they might have been in (i’m just asking because you seem to know a lot about how their condition ‘operates’).
I know people who know them personally, but have also seen several documentaries on them over the years. They have intrigued me (what better study of nature v/s nurture than two people who share absolutely every sing experience?!) since they first appeared on the cover of life magazine at the age of 6 or 7.
@Cranky- There better be flesh eatin’ bacteria in that mud hole!
@PlathAddict Congratulations on getting to iconic status! And on episode 1!
I finally got around to watching Honey’s new Toddler Tiaras. With sweet old 9 toed Uncle Poodle. They’re still out there in their extreme toilet paper shed. Gnawing bones and passing gas.
You’re right they’re the honey badger family of reality shows! Look at all the shows and interviews they’ve done now.
And not a 1 of them’s bought boobs.
Pageant grandma – My very own grandmother, Priscilla the monkey girl, (really, look it up) shared with me words of wisdom that might benefit you. “If you can’t stand the snark, get outta the park”. Words to live by.
Isn’t it Percilla the Monkey Girl?
Hi Kim – It was spelled Percilla on some of the carnival banners, but the real spelling was Priscilla. I used to visit Grandma and Grandpa Emmit in Tampa during my summers as a child. Good times.
Whoa – child services investigating again (they came in March) because June had Boo Boo dancing on a bar for money.
“June defended her daughter’s actions by explaining that Alana had been dancing in a college bar, not a sleazy one.”
I really like this show, it’s easy to bash it but come on people like this are all over the south. Plus they aren’t hurting anyone. I was born & raised in east coast cities, I recently moved to KEntucky didnt know anyone. People aren’t as affluent & there aren’t as many degrees as my home city, but damned if this isn’t the better place to live. As a whole people don’t take themselves as seriously here, and they are sooo nice. Yeah the south has its share of bigots but show me an area that doesn’t. The accents and mispronunciation of words don’t make them ignorant. I’d rather see this family ham it up in a fun way than any of the housewives and their made for tv drama.
Plus my family jokes about flatulence, it’s funny. You can be unrefined in your own home. It’s called relaxing and finding humor in silly things.
No Lady you won’t find many families that take a 6 year old to a bar to dance for money any where.
@pageantgrandma- You really think you can call out June for “exploiting” Alana when you parade a young child around in sequin-covered mini dresses, more makeup than a dive bar hooker, to be JUDGED by total strangers and call it a hobby? Please. There are plenty of us who see you as no better.
I smell troll with you anyway. You know all these TLC pageant and now you know someone who knows the TLC co-joined twins? A little too much TLC in your world.
Nellie– you don’t know me, or my granddaughter. You have not seen any of her pageant clothes (unless you looked really fast on one episode, when she was seen for about a half a second), not do you have any idea of what makeup, if any, she wears on stage. I assure you, that there are no “sequined mini dresses”, or other “tart” attire. Yes, I know people who know the twins. I do not personally know them.
Cc– what you wrote isn’t “snark”. Snark, I can take, and dish with the best of them.
Was catching up on T&T this evening and finally realized what everyone was talking about with the Hensels. I wondered about the driving too.
Ah, had to chuckle at NellieB’s “I smell troll with you anyway” directed at PGram. I’ve been reading her comments (along with most of the rest of us) ever since she began to explain the intricacies of the pageant world. PGram a troll? I don’t think so!!!
Buggy, good luck with the job interview. You do realize that employment will cu tinto your slot time.
oh man! i’m so glad this show is being recapped here, because other recappers are meh compared to tvgasm ‘cappers. i just wish i’d found it before today!
i love alana’s family. yeah, they’re crude, gross, and possibly under-educated (well, they are definitely under-educated in some senses, but i have to say “possibly”) only because i don’t know how school-educated they are or aren’t, and i can’t make assumptions), but they’re still somehow wonderful + endearing. i simply can’t judge them for being socially gauche — because i’d be judging them to my own standard/understanding, whereas, from what i can tell, where they are, it’s really no biggie, and EVERYONE lives in their own context. people anywhere judging them for being decrepit hillbillies are getting the same judgment themselves from SOMEONE out there. so, meh, they are who they are, and social standing aside, i love their attitudes towards life and especially towards each other. do i think it’s gross that they like to fart all over the place, AND especially that they like to discuss it? yeah, and i would be grossed out if it happened in front of me, but i somehow can’t judge them entirely on things like that. plus, they’re obviously — as has been brought up repeatedly — hamming it up for the show. regardless, they are so freakin’ cute in their own way, and i agree with whoever said in last week’s t&t recap’s comments that honey boo boo has all the freedom & imagination of a true comedian.
now that i’ve rambled, i need to read the comments to this … great recap, and looking forward to this week’s!
@pageantgrandma- the Jerry Springer-”YOU DON’T KNOW ME” defense doesn’t work, sorry. You admit over and over she does glitz pageants. She wears a pound of makeup. She looks unnatural. That’s glitz. She is paraded up and down a stage and judged solely based on her appearance and the perceived perfection of that appearance. She’s a child. Her values and her self-worth are developing in that world. You can say you aren’t like the other pageant parents, but what ever need drove you and your daughter to put put your granddaughter into pageants is the same unfilled need driving Mickey and the rest of them. I may not post much on here anymore, but I have been reading for years. I have definitely read all your posts. Popping up on here to criticize the other pageant people doesn’t make you any better than they are. I find it completely hypocritical that you dare to call out Alana’s family for doing exactly what you are doing. It’s the same thing, only on a national stage and with paydays. I watch the spectacle, so I am complicit, too. But I admit my complicity and understand it. It doesn’t make me better, but it does lead me not to judge other others in an attempt to make ME feel better about what I am doing.
Oh yay, a pageant basher. How quaint.
@snowshoecat-
I have read her stuff since the beginning as well. I used to post on here occasionally until the comments went from funny to pageant love. The old comments posters from a few seasons back have been quelled a bit by the pageant people and their whole “we aren’t like THEM” meme. I am pretty sure she is who she say she is as well. But I don”t see why posting on here makes her inured to the same criticism leveled at the other pageant people. I think she is on here to get praise and prove to herself and others that she is “different” for whatever reason. At any give pageant there are what, 30 or 40 contestants? How on earth can they isolate the 3 or 4 crazies in each for TnT each week? That makes no sense either mathematically or logically. The whole pageant thing attracts a certain type of person with certain values. Some are more extreme than others, naturally, but none of them are that different.
I don’t me to be extreme, and I usually stay out of this stuff and just lurk, but PG’s comments and judgements about the Thompsons were really rude and judgmental in such a harsh way. I am not defending June; I am merely asking PG to recognize she is, in the eyes of many, many people, not much different.
@veruca- TVgasm used to be a safe haven to bash pageants. Sadly, that’s changed.
Ah @NellieB, I think we can all safely attack delusional pageant moms (and other relatives who care to jump in and “defend” their little darlings). I just don’t like to see personal attacks against posters, and that is what you did when you called PGram a troll. Not called for.
There was a bit of a “yea rah pageant” furor last season, and I stopped reading for a while because of it. Now we are on track, bashing the delusional mothers and the real trolls who post. If PGram wants to defend what she does, fine. She is civilized and does not attack anyone. And that is what we are all about.
@Snowshoecat:
The troll thing was out of line, yeah.I just had a troll attack on a board where the big tell was the fact that everything anyone knew about that person had done. So the twins thing set off my radar.
But I do stand by my point that jumping in here and defending your pageant lifestyle while criticizing others and accusing them of exploiting their children is hypocritical.
And I can’t wait for PlathAddict’s next Honey Booboo recap! I am dying to know what people find out about June & Sugar Bear!
@Crown Clown–wow, that is cool! I am interested in things like that
Oh goodie. We can now get back to business at hand.
Just couldn’t bring myself to watch Honey Boos last night after T&T. I’m not sure why I have such an aversion, but just couldn’t do it.
Maybe I overdosed on MBFAGW, but more hill jacks and jills are just more than I can handle right now. If somebody convinces me to try it, I’ll give it a shot.
kthxbai @131, nobody may have bought boobs, but I’ll bet June purchased a chin or two.
Snowshowcat, since you have an interest in chins, you have to watch HCHBB from last night. You will learn more about June’s chins and the neck that loves them than you ever thought possible.
After last night’s episode, I think I have (slightly) changed my mind about June and Co. I won’t go into details until the recap but all things are not quite what they seem.
Agree. Very curious about opinions on this.
i, too, can’t wait to hear what people think. i was suprised by a lot i heard last night.
The best part of the show is when Honey Boo says…… “I hope mama dont eat Glitzy” (talking about her pig).. then she says… “She eats everything else”… That was priceless! I laughed so hard almost lost my dinner!! These people are crazy and nuts!! Love watching the show.. Hey all I can say is people can talk and put them down but one thing for sure… THEY ARE GETTING PAID!! Go on Honey boo boo,, do your thing!!
I tried to do a little research on some of the stuff we heard but these people are little off the grid. Believe it or not.
Thanks Kim. My grandparents adopted my dad, Tony, in 1960. They never felt that they were exploited by the carnivals. They traveled and made wonderful friends. What pageant grandma doesn’t understand is that people that are different are usually the first to make fun of themselves. My grandfather used to tell me that God had the best sense of humor. Nobody could laugh at them, because they laughed at themselves first.
@Nelliebelle1197, I drop in from time to time to read about the crazy pageant moms and especially when they actually post here. The only T&T episodes that I have tracked down to watch are the ones that have been identified here as featuring one of the trolls. I don’t think Pageant-grandma is a troll, but other than that I completely agree with your assessment of her. I have had a few run-ins with her, mostly due to her calling me out for insensitivity toward somebody featured on the show that she personally likes. She apparently thinks my parents could have done a better job in raising me. Maybe, but in their defense, they didn’t have much to work with.
My sweet friend has Alanna (Honey Boo Boo) in her class this year. She says she is extremely well behaved, an eager learner, makes friends easily and is very respectful. She does not believe the show is scripted at all, and just believes Alanna puts on for the camera just as any child would likely do, particularly if they have a bit of extrovert in them any way. My friend is a fabulous teacher, one of the best I have ever seen, so I know Alanna is getting a wonderful education this year, and she says June is a very supportive and cooperative parent. Just another side, for what it is worth.
Cranky, I respect your au-thora-tay!
Crank & Nellie @158 & 160, I am soooooo glad that we are done with the pageant lovefest.
Now I’m just showing my innate curiosity with the hints Gasmii are giving about the Boo Boo family! What’s going on, and will all be revealed in the ‘cap?
I wanna KNOW!
Dish!
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2188734/Toddlers–Tiaras-Parents-Honey-Boo-Boo-accused-child-abuse-feeding-star-roadkill-Go-Go-Juice.html
Here you go Snowshoe. Can’t understand why local the Daily Mail has better news about what happens here than most US papers.
Nope, there is more than that!
@labowner, if go-go juice consumption is considered child abuse, why have they singled out this kid? I know Mountain Dew can be bought with food stamps and I suspect that Red Bull can be as well, but I’m not sure about it. It looks like we have one government agency paying for what another government agency wants to forbid.
And why is a deer freshly clobbered by an automobile any more disgusting than one freshly killed with bullets?
Is it because Mama and Suga bear aren’t married? Who cares?
Crank the second visit was for the dancing on the bar with money. But, I have no idea how CPS or whatever it is called in Georgia works. Why them? For the same reason the bankruptcy attorneys went after Teresa and Joe – cameras. Kind of hard to turn away when the evidence is on television. I am sure there are a few folks from Georgia who are horrified at this family.
They feed road kill to prisoners, so it is not bad per say, but I do know with deer there is a time limit to get the carcass before it starts to rot or whatever happens to it.
Oh the price of fame. Heather, the oh-so classy “talent manager,” is facing a lawsuit from Micke and Eden Wood.
And this is how she chooses to class it up:
http://www.gofundme.com/11wgww
Not really sure if this info belongs in this forum, but I think it’s amusing. Thoughts?
My thoughts? If you lay down with dogs…………
sometimes they sue you.
Mickie is NOT the first former client to sue Heather Ryan, just the most public.
That is so bizarre, SnarkyShark. Do you think it is real? Oh, check out Heather’s website!
http://www.ryantalent.com/
@Nellie – I saw it posted on her Facebook page, so I’m assuming it’s legit. Considering she’s a talent manager, she could use a couple of basic PR pointers…
https://www.facebook.com/RyanTalent
And her website is a mess.
nelliebellie — not all girls in pageants are there because they have pathetic parents who want to live through them. i, for one, WANTED desperately to be in pageants as a child — the idea of the dresses and makeup and routines seemed so fun to me. my mother did not allow me. i wish she had. i’m sure i wasn’t the only child who WANTED to enter a pageant. i don’t know why pg’s granddaughter is in pageants, as i don’t know them, but i can’t assume it’s NOT because the girl wants to be in them. that said, though, it’s also unfair to judge alana’s parents as being exploitative — i do think a 6-year-old can and often does decide what they want and don’t want to do. i know i sure as hell made my opinions clear; whether or not that was honored by my parents is a different story, but i knew what i wanted, so what’s to say alana doesn’t? she’s 6, not 2.
i still haven’t watched last night’s episodes, though, so i’m curious what people are hinting about.
@ellemenop, how were you even aware of pageants as a small child? Some kid in your class bring in her tiaras for show ‘n’ tell?
@crankyguy, i lived in los angeles … the land of taking parents’ money in the name of childrens’ “talent” activities. i honestly can’t remember how the first time i became aware of them happened, but it was something that was just on my radar, like begging to audition for stupid tv shows … this was around 1990, so way before all this crap was overly televised. i think it was just a byproduct of being in l.a. it looked fun to me, but i’ve always been a little over-the-top about clothes and stuff.
Ryan talent agency is in Des Moines? Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. Oh shit! Really? Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha.
I’ll see if I can stalk her for you.
Maybe I’ll take my 6 month grandson and see what happens.
What?
If I want to use my 6 month old grandson to score a meeting of THE CENTURY with a crazy bitch that knows Mickie Woods, I will use my 6 month old grandson to meet a crazy bitch.
Holdup…is this Cutabitch?
Is Heather Cutabitch?
I’m going to venture to say that that ring around her neck is dirt….did they remove it when they went for the pedicure?
Just watched this week’s episodes…I freakin’ LOVE this show! This family is the “bomb diggity” (to quote Mama June). Except Pumpkin, but I was 12 once too…
Cutabitch is Fransoly Gonzoles . Heather Ryan is the sourpuss manager, both of which were featured on TnT and Eden’s World.
I’m curious to see how the lawsuit works out. I’m surprised Perez Hilton hasn’t mentioned it since he promotes Eden like the queen he wished he was…
This is gossip so I don’t know if it’s true. But supposedly it started because of some local drama. Partly from some people that don’t like 1 or another of the Honeybubu family.
And partly because it’s brought a lot of outsiders with cameras to a place where a lot of the people like to keep to themselves. And with their own group they’re in. But don’t want attention called. Specially the 1s that are a little bit better off.
A child svc that had investigators to send out to houses every time somebody saw a kid drinking something with caffeine in it would have a bigger payroll than all the other depts in the state put together. Not to mention in GA their own kids would be home drinking drink sweet tea while they were out investigating June.
It’s illegal in USA to serve alcohol to anybody under age. But it’s not illegal to take your kids to a place that serves food and alcohol.
And it’s up to the place if they want to let kids sing or dance or just sit there and holler. If other people eating there want to give them $ or candy. Or tell them to STFU that’s up to them. It’s not like she got a job working as a dancer some place.
Sorry to burst your bubble BUT Heather is a very smart intelligent business woman. Known her from way back. Mickie on the other hand has no idea what she has got herself into. Everything that that child has done was because of Heather.. not Mickie!! Mickie dont have a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of. Dont let her fool you guys… she is broke as a joke!! She is making it like to the public that she is doing so much. She has NOTHING!! I have known HR over 25 years, believe me, she is ready for whatever uneducated Sparklebabyee brings her way. Think about it.. Mickie and her uneducated daughter was turned down by TLC .. they didn’t want her… they got honey boo boo instead.. How does that feel Mickie!! LMAO .. those pageants you so called won at Universal Royal.. were all rigged and set up for you to win. We all know that.. its killing Mickie right now.. she cant stand it!! When you step on toes thats what happens to you. I have no dogs in this race but voice my opinion on whats right and whats wrong. Being working with pageants for years I have learned alot, seen alot and hear alot. Even though been out for years, still have the inside scoop on whats going on. So dont think Mickie is so smart and knows what she is doing,, the damn woman is supposed to be a retired teacher.. no wonder Eden is dumb and dont know anything.. I see where she gets it from.. Bless her heart..
I heard someone talking about Cutabitch… LMAO.. yeah she thought she was going to be famous as well… LMAO.. dream on honey!! She is so wrapped up and stuck up Mickie’s ass she cant see the forest from the trees.. LMAO.. I love it when a plan comes together!!
Love some honey boo boo… crazy ass people, but at least the girl is getting her education!! I will say that.. Mickie needs to talk to June on how to put her child in school!!
“So dont think Mickie is so smart . . . “
I don’t think you have to worry about that. I DO worry that you think Heather is so much smarter. Did you really mean to imply that Heather was responsible for rigging pageants so that Eden would win?
Well Sheesh @175, haven’t you heard? Des Moines (S pronounced and second word emphasized also with the S pronounced) is the new entertainment capital of the world.
Just ask HR.
I would be afraid for your plan. You’ll probably be stuck with a nine month old (these things take time) superstar with his own reality show on your hands and then where will you be?
His parents are gonna be sooooooo pissed.
Back to last week’s HBB–
The roadkill? Squicked me out! Seriously, roadkill? I understand hunting; I don’t personally do it but as long as the hunters are eating what they kill, I won’t get on my moral soapbox.
But roadkill? (And I’m loving that word. Must work it into more conversations.) How do they know if the meat is still good?
Also, I loved the “I hope Mama don’t eat Glitzy” comment. Because I’ve been wondering if Glitzy would ultimately join Darlene. I hope not!
@crown clown, I’m fairly sure I saw an interview with your grandmother in a documentary years ago. I know I’ve read the Jerry Springer transcript(and I just reread it). I loved her comment about throwing back the pennies. I admire her spirit still.
First off, I do surprisingly like this family. They’re happy. I just wish they’d take nutrition seriously for the sake of their kids. Oh, and I do think they are bright. Alana, at six, without hesitation read three digit numbers off the scale. If she was lacking in smarts or education, she wouldn’t have been able to do that.
Now I just want to address the road kill thing. Yes, it’s gross, I don’t know that I could ever eat it, myself. What I do know is this, here where I live the local tribe has a program to pick up road kill, butcher it, and distribute it to the elders. I also know that when my father hunts, it can take him a couple days to pack his kill out. And I eat that. So the road kill thing, while gross, isn’t so bad. I don’t imagine they sit and wait till the abdomen explodes, then collect the meat. When you travel the same road every day to work, you know how long something has been there and if it’s within your comfort level.
Abdomens explode? Wow. I think that would definitely be a sign that the carcass has sat out too long.
Really, I have no frame of reference. I’m in Arkansas where hunting is practically the statewide pasttime, but the menfolkses in my family are all into ducks only.
Although once I did open a boyfriend’s refrigerator only to find a deer head staring back at me. It hadn’t quite made its way to the taxidermist.
I do believe that may have been the beginning of the end of that relationship. Darlene’s cousin was so judgey as I reached for my bottle of wine.
@ TurtleGirl93 — My BFF had a perfectly healthy goat explode a few summers ago. Apparently it’s something that happens to ruminants every so often depending on a variety of circumstances. Makes me glad I only have to chew my food the first time!
All that I know (or want to know) about T&T or this Honey Boo Boo family I’ve learned by reading here. I went to Heather’s website…is she serious?! That site looks like it was designed by a hyperactive 12 year old girl on a GoGoJuice high!!! I love how ‘Mentor’ is misspelled, the use of unnecessary quotation marks, and even an incorrect apostrophe.
Oh, check this out!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y0jqhQqhpvI
This poster has a few videos up. I’m wondering if it is her uncle.
OMG, you know I read all these comments the other day. I got to the Heather Ryan ones, and I followed and I couldn’t figure out why the name was so damned familiar. More than her being on the show familiar. Then I was just looking for an email and I found one from her.
“Ryan Talent Group
Casting for New Trivia-Type Game Show!
Dear xxxxx,
Are you really good at pop culture trivia?
Have you ever wanted to be on a Game Show?
If the answer to both of these questions is YES, we want YOU to submit for a new game show produced by
Warner Brothers Entertainment.
Submissions must be 18+ and legal U.S. Citizens. NO PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE IS REQUIRED.
Interviews for casting will be conducted via Skype so internet access is a MUST. If you are cast, you will compete for CASH in a nationally televised Game Show!
COMPLETE DETAILS ARE AVAILABLE BY CONTACTING: HEATHER.RYAN@RYANTALENT.COM
I look forward to working with you on this fun project!
Heather Ryan
The Ultimate Talent Mentor
RYAN TALENT GROUP”
Maybe there will be a new cringe worthy show to recap soon……
@Lenoru, oh I HOPE so. HR makes me wanna holla… and not in a good way.
@SuperB et al, One of my faves on NetFlix is “All Creatures Great and Small”. A must for BritVid fans and animal lovers. One epi had the vet visit a farmer who was about to lose his flock because they had gotten into a toxic plant and were about to exlode. He Popped them all and saved them.
Amazing.
In my crowd ( a very bad crowd, BTW), we ‘splain away the occasional *cough* hangover by saying we ate some baaaaaaad chicken. Same thing.
Dang you guys are going to take this to 200
Well @ ClasSay, then, I’ll see SarClassy’s “A dolla makes me holla, honey boo boo chile!” and raise her one.
Let’s go peeps.
Sheesh! wake up. You are going to lose your century crown. You are already behind.
Just doing my part. Holla, ya’ll!
BTW, Plath, PlathDaddy is so lucky to have you! Awesome grill, but don’t ever let him suspect that when he grills, you have less to do in the kitchen.
hehhehhehhehheheh.
Just snacking on this deer meat I found by the side of the road.
I have armadillo on the half shell. All I need is a little hot sauce to go with it.
@Lind, That would make a nice appetizer, if SarClassy feels like sharing. I wonder if I have any pressed possum left.
Not only will I share, I’ll bring the ranch dressing!
don’t buy the dressing unless you have a coupon.
Sparkle dingo baby!
YAY ClasSay!!!!!!!!!!!! Now we can have a roadkill celebration feast!
@ Lenoru
Are you a pageant mama or grandma? I was told only people in the pageant world got this email??? Just sayin!
@crankyguy- it dont take a rocket scientist to figure it out that HR is smarter than Mickie.. for one we all know that HR’s children are in school and that Eden doesn’t even know how to read and is in 2nd grade.. Thats one good point right there.
As far as HR rigging the pageant for Eden to win.. not sure of that one but YES Annette Hill did rig every pageant that Eden was in Universal Royal.. that is a fact!!
Nope. But I did send off an email on the EW page about a dress she was wearing in an episode. I just loved it and I was hoping they’d respond with who makes/sells them, but no such luck. This email seems to be the only thing I got in return.
Hi there,
) for each other and they are very entertaining. They seem like pretty intelligent people overall even if they may or may not have formal education. Also they have a lot to teach people who are too afraid of being themselves at the fear of being ridiculed by others.
I just wanted to say thank you for posting the recaps, they are almost as much fun as watching the show on TV. This family is gross sometimes but they still have a lot of love (except for Sugar Bear, he gets no love from June
My only issue with the articles is that, PlathAddict, with all due respect, you keep saying “you guys” a LOT, sometimes even starting sentences with that. Now, I do realize that in the States that’s thought of as “gender neutral” just like “you all” but, seriously, most of the readers are female and it is gender bias and sexist. Try “Everyone, Folks and/orYou All” and you would be more inclusive..
Thanx
I love this family, farts and all. Alana has real charisma. She has great comic timing. And her mom talking about the “vagisle jasle “made me spit out my drink. At the local water park near my house, I have seen many women in bikinis that are being eaten by the wearer.
Plus, how many women will let themselves be weighed on TV?