That’s Not Going to Be Good For Business

It’s only three episodes in, but I am going to call Heroes the BEST new show on television. It also happens to be pretty much the only new show on television that I watch, but I think there are a number of people out there that would agree. Initially, I was impressed by all of the great characters and abilities, but over the last two weeks, we see that there is much more to this story than a bunch of people suddenly learning that they can teleport, read minds, or break every bone in their body and heal again in not time. We now have a government conspiracy, a serial killer, and nuclear explosion to deal with, and we don’t know how they are related, if at all, but I do know that I am very interested to see what comes next. Every week things seem to get a little bit more strange and a little bit more creepy, but it just makes me want to tune in even more.The pacing of the show is starting to get hectic, but I still think they are doing a good job of advancing the plots of all the main characters. I am sure that this show would be a bitch to keep up with if there was no such thing as Tivo and if the internet didn’t allow all of us crazy fans with too much time on our hands to discuss every minutiae of the show, but since all of those things exist, including talented, dedicated (not to mention humble!) writers to keep us all caught up, I will take that over an hour of sitting around just waiting for something to happen.

One thing I can’t stand about the show is that stupid announcer. It’s not the announcer that is stupid, but the fact that the producers or network exec think we need an announcer that is stupid. Just show past scenes and remind people they can get episode synopsis on the Heroes Website. And if you still want people to get caught up, throw up a Heroes Marathon on a Saturday evening sometime. Whatever you do, just get rid of the announcer!

I once had the same feelings about Mohinder’s little lectures at the beginning of the episode as well. Science this, spirituality that, metaphysics this, mysticism that, yada, yada, yada. This intro is obviously an easy way to get an idea of what to expect from the show thanks to the oh-so-obvious foreshadowing tone of the dialog, but it also provides me a bit of comic relief. I mean shit Mohinder, take it easy every now and then. For example, we learn this week that evolution makes demands in exchange for singularity and that one may be asked to do something against their nature not to be cruel, but for self-preservation. It’s like he recorded all of these intros after three days at Burning Man. Using a bunch of big words and throwing them together into sentences doesn’t mean anything you are saying makes any sense.

So what does all that mean? Basically, Mohinder is saying that if you’re special, then maybe you’re destiny is part of a bigger plan. All of our heroes have something that is required of them. Some embrace it, some deny it. Think about it. We have an office worker, Hiro, working in a culture (corporate that is) telling him that one person’s accomplishments don’t mean any more than the rest. Then there is Peter, who thought he was doing good helping people in their final moments, but now that he has a special power, he believes there is something more to his life. Look at Claire, who hates that her power will make her different from the other girls, but at the end of the day will still run into a burning building to save a man from dying.

Speaking of Claire, why don’t we start with her? It’s hard being an adopted kid, but Claire was probably pretty happy when she found out. Look at how strange her parents are! Her mom is one chew toy away from a nervous break down and her dad looks like he eats his Cheerios every morning while reading the obituaries instead of the sports section. And to be honest with you, I wish he wasn’t such an asshole, because he is kind of a normal dad. When he hears that Claire wants to go to a bonfire rally for the football team, he gets worried, and says that he would feel a lot better if she were to date nerds instead of quarterbacks. Hmm, I had always assumed that when I got married and had daughters, I would just surgically implant a GPS transmitter at the base of their skulls, but this whole dating nerds thing has some benefits. Note to self: after marriage and children, take daughters to Comic-con and premiere of any Star Wars and/or Star Trek movie.

Just before leaving, Claire bumps into Jackie, the girl who took all the credit for saving that guy from the train crash. After mentioning how much she loves Claire’s dad’s glasses (good to know the writers have a sense of humor), she says that she is using her new status to start a movement for moral, mental, and social advancement. What kind of shit is that? If I am going to take credit for saving somebody else, I’m going to use it to impress chicks and score free beer.

The big cliffhanger from last week was that Hiro’s whole trip to New York was taking place on a different timeline than everybody else. He saw the death of the artist Isaac and the complete destruction of New York. He teleported back in time, but he brought the knowledge of his events with him, and he knows that he must do something to save the future. He also knows he can’t do it alone, so he enlists the help of his friend from work, who we learn is named Ando. And thusly, the first hero with a sidekick is Hiro!

Ando didn’t just come with Hiro, and who would? Hiro is great, and I love how his character has such enthusiasm and reacts to his new powers without fear, but that dude is weird. If he told me about everything that happened to him, I would first check to make sure he doesn’t smell like pot, and then ask him how many hours he spent playing Final Fantasy. Hiro does have the ace up his sleeve of course, which is the comic book, which has panels where Ando is saying things exactly as he did in real life.

Although still skeptical, Ando follows Hiro on his first mission after he says that a young girl is in trouble. Hiro doesn’t know who it is, but he does know that she is in a schoolgirl’s uniform, which doesn’t exactly narrow things down since we are talking about Japan, but we also see that she has a red bow in her hair. They finally see the girl, but it looks like it might be too late. She’s standing in the middle of the road, and a truck is barreling towards her. Ando tries to flag down the truck, but it doesn’t do any good. The girl is just about to become a splatter mark when Hiro saves the day! Like many of our heroes, Hiro can’t exactly summon his power at command, but he seems to be able to do it in stressful situations. This time, instead of going back in time, he is actually able to stop time and grab the girl out of the truck’s path. When time resumes, the girl is safe, and Hiro does his “I did it!” scream that is not even close to getting old to me.

So you may think that Peter would have learned his lesson about flying when the only thing that saved him was his brother’s ability to fly. He’s at the top of another building and is going to try stepping off. Do you think this guy ever said to himself “Maybe I should try jumping off of a smaller building, or maybe just the curb?” Who’s going to save him now? It turns out Peter is not as huge of a dumbass as I had thought. He was trying to fly off of the top of the monkey bars and the buildings surrounding him were just there for perspective. Don’t get me wrong, he is still a dumbass, because falling off the monkey bars still sucks, but at least the sandbox was there to break his fall.

Peter may hate that the can’t fly, but I think the thing that is pissing him off most is that his brother doesn’t believe that being able to fly is going to help his campaign, and so Nathan Petrelli denies that it ever happens. Peter has been doing research on genetics, trying to figure out what could make a person fly, and he even started the book of one Chandra Suresh (Mohinder’s dad). Nathan’s only worry is that Peter’s accident may affect his campaign. Suicide may not be as damaging as if Peter had been featured on “To Catch A Predator”, but the last thing he needs is people saying his crazy family might be a distraction while he’s in office, not that any of this matters to Peter, who is determined to find his destiny.

The first step in making a new life is to get rid of your old one, so Peter decides to give up his work with Simone’s father. When he bumps into her on his way out, she tries to get him to stay, and he sort of cryptically tells her about his new journey, but says that he hopes to see her in the future sooner or later. Normally I would say that Peter has no chance because Simone is already dating a hot artist who doesn’t have an annoying habit of talking out the side of his mouth, but Simone and Isaac had a fight. She was telling him to clean up his act (the editor of his comic was starting to wonder where his new art was), but Isaac can’t come to terms with his whole painting shit before it happens and wants her to understand. Simone wants him to get cleaned up and decides to leave. Isaac wants to stop her, but he has been getting these strange prank calls, and when he answers she leaves. The person on the other end, who we learned was actually Hiro, couldn’t speak English, so Isaac hangs up on him. Man, if only he was dating a Japanese woman, she could tell him that Hiro just wanted to warn him about losing half of his head to a serial killer in a couple of weeks.

Oh, and while I’m on the subject of denial, let’s talk about Mohinder Suresh. He already had to beat away one attacker with an elephant, so you would think that he would think about changing addresses. Instead, Mohinder does the very American thing and buys a gun to defend himself. I believe in the right to bear arms, but shouldn’t he try some other things first. For instance, he hears somebody opening his door, picks up his gun, but sees his “friend” Eden in the doorway and decides not to shoot her. Eden apologizes for scaring him, but she had some food, and she still had the key from when she used to bring food over for his dad.

Mohinder is no longer in India. So why doe she still sweat like he’s in Mumbai?

Two things. I understand how he might not want to leave his father’s apartment because maybe there is another flash drive floating around somewhere that holds more answers, but wouldn’t you, knowing your father had been killed and others are spying on you, perhaps by a deadbolt to twelve? Or, I don’t know, CHANGE THE LOCKS? Second, shouldn’t you be skeptical of anybody who had such easy access to your father who just died? So what if she makes a mean mac and cheese? Who says she’s not his killer?! Ugh.

Anyway, Eden continues asking her questions, and yes I am getting paranoid, but all of her questions about figuring out his dad’s research and such is very suspicious. Does she ever actually work at that used bookstore or does she simply stand around all day and come up with questions about genetic research that she doesn’t understand? Mohinder isn’t getting much sleep, and while he sees that his father has it all figured out, all of that work means nothing to him. Mohinder only needs one here to prove the research, but until then, he has nothing. He gets a little upset and throws his father’s laptop across the room. It was quite the retarded move, but it turned out really well. Apparently, Mohinder’s father hid some sort of address book in his laptop that had been unnoticed until that point. Inside the book is an address for “Sylar” and a key. Knowing Sylar left a phone message and that it seemed to bother his father, Mohinder decides to investigate.

For the next update, we check in on Niki. I really like Niki, but I still can’t figure out what her “power” is. She just seems like a whole lotta crazy. When we last left Niki, she was burying the bodies of two people her alter ego had just killed, but don’t worry, Niki 2.0 only did it because Niki 1.0 was about to be raped and beaten. Niki 2.0 left a map where to bury the bodies and Now Niki 1.0 has to take care of them. When Niki started digging, she found, besides a disturbingly shallow grave, that one of the bodies had a skull ring on his finger skeleton hand.

I thought that the ring was just random, but when she finished the next day and saw that Micah was awake, she said they were going to visit his grandmother. It’s obvious that Grandmama loves her grandson, but doesn’t like that floozy white girl her son knocked up (that wood be Niki). Niki’s in-law is not happy with Micah living with Niki, saying that she could provide a better home than Niki. That may be true, even if you don’t include all of that “alternate personality that kills people and buys vintage Cadillacs to help bury the body and get away” but I can understand that Niki wouldn’t want to leave her son with the person that raised his father to leave her pregnant, run around with gangs, murder a couple of dudes and then flee from police.

Yeah, that’s right. Niki’s baby papa ripped off a mob boss, killed his accomplices, and is now hiding form police. Quite the story, but there is that skull ring; it was the same type that Niki’s husband’s crew used to wear. Personally, I thought that maybe that guy with the ring is actually Niki’s husband, and Niki 2.0 got sick of his mob friends, killed him AND his crew, and then didn’t tell Niki 1.0 where the money is. OK, so maybe that’s not how it happened, but really is it all that crazy when you think of the other shit on this show?

When Mohinder said that he was going to investigate Sylar, I have to admit I felt a little bit worried. I mean, he should be killed if he was that stupid, but don’t want the show to end, so we’ll just let him do his thing. I’m not sure what I expected when he and Eden made it inside, but I didn’t think this guy seemed all that crazy. Lots of serial killers are obsessive and keep their apartments clean, and a lot of normal people are obsessive and keep their apartments clean. Sure there was some medical textbook with people’s heads that are chopped off, but what’s the big deal?

The first clue that something is crazy is when you find out that there was a secret room and this guy happens to have the same map that your father has been working on, except that it looks MORE complete. Then you dig a little deeper and there is an entire room where there is writing all over the walls with things like “I HAVE SINNED” in large letters all over the place.

Hopefully you haven’t been waiting around for a Matt Parkman update, because I really thought I would mention him before I got nearly 3000 words into this recap, but it’s all good, right? Matt was taken into FBI custody, which made me wonder where his timeline is. To him, it’s only been a few hours, but for some of the others it has been days. We saw that most of them saw the eclipse, but Matt has not, so maybe they are going to show that he is back in time and he’ll see the eclipse soon, or maybe we’ll find that he is a few weeks into the future. I can’t be sure, but after the Hiro twist, I am looking out for it.

Anyway, Detective Clea Duvall, who I would call by her character name except that I can’t find it on imdb, tries to get Matt to confess to being a part of the murder, but Matt is able to demonstrate part of his ability. It’s not that strong yet, but he manages to do just enough to convince her that he should be helping out the FBI. By the way, I know that Clea has played a number of lesbians and other characters with ambiguous sexuality, and she rocks a mean pantsuit here, but couldn’t they give her some support for her boobs? I mean, doesn’t she have to run around like that? What’s the deal?

Matt agrees to help the FBI because it’s obviously much better than his currently dead-end cop job, and they ask him to talk to the girl that he found last week hiding in the house where her parents were killed. She won’t talk to anybody, but if Matt can really read minds, she won’t even have to talk to him. They’ve kept Ms. Molly Walker in the basement of the FBI facility, which should mean that she is safe, but clearly means that something horrible is going to happen. Yes, somehow, Sylar made his way into the basement, killed a couple of the guards, and is about to take Molly away when Clea and Matt happen upon the scene.

Matt stays to comfort Molly while Clea runs after the dude we assume is Sylar. She reaches him and tells him to stop, but Sylar has other ideas on his mind. Suddenly, Clea’s pointing her gun at her own head, and fighting not to pull the trigger. Luckily, Matt gets there and empties a clip into Sylar. Clea is safe, but Sylar gets up and then literally flies out of the sub basement. It all makes sense, well, sort of. It’s obvious that Sylar has some awesome telekinesis. Mohinder’s father called him patient zero, which I guess means he is more advanced than anybody else. That would explain why some heroes can barely harness their power, yet he is able to suspend a woman in the air and keep her pinned to the stairwell using kitchen knives. It doesn’t really explain the whole freezing over thing, but I am sure that will come later.

All of this is very exciting to Matt, but he missed his couples counseling and his wife is pissed. First of all, Matt’s wife is pretty good looking. Maybe she’s not smoking hot, but it’s not like anybody would confuse him for Brad Pitt any time soon. She also is moving her way up the ladder at her law office. If I were Matt, I would forget risking my life on the streets everyday, get a job at the Apple Store or something so I could fuck around all day, and then let my wife’s awesome job pay for everything. Then I would knock her up and be a stay at home dad! Then blog in my spare time! Sure my wife might leave me if I became a bum, but then I get half of whatever she had. What is wrong with Parkman anyway? Long story short, Matt’s wife doesn’t want him around so he decides to leave.

Now that Jackie seems to be deflecting all of the strange “girl rescues man from burning wreck” attention, Claire is happy with her life. She has stopped talking to Zach (no surprise there), and isn’t even bothered when he reminds her that her tape is missing. She knows if people find out that they will probably want to experiment on her, and she doesn’t want to have that happen. She wants to do what the other hot and popular kids are doing at her school, and that includes getting drunk and hooking up at the bonfire.

Yes, that cute quarterback that she has noticed has noticed her. Actually, he has noticed a lot of things about her that are sort of stalker-ish, but hey, sometimes people are willing to overlook some things when it means some quality time behind the bleachers sucking face. The quarterback (sorry I forgot his name), attempts to go for second base, but Claire is not ready, then he reaches under her pleats and takes a shot at some stinky finger, but all Claire throws him out on that attempt too.

So this is awkward, and it happens to all guys at some point or another, but if you like her and she is nice, you’ll go out again and be rewarded with a nipple or some chacha when she is ready. Well, QB didn’t see it that way. He likes Claire, she is hot, and he is going to have her. Claire’s super healing doesn’t give her super strength, and when she tries to get away QB guy pins her down and starts to rape her. Things get rough and then Claire falls on a branch. I am expecting the worst thing to happen is that some asshole knows her secret, but it’s much worse than that. She is actually not moving at all.

I was worried about Claire, but we then cut to Niki, driving somewhere with Micah, when an officer pulls her over. She already took care of the bodies, so I am not sure what she is worried about, but the music is too ominous for just a traffic stop. Just moments earlier, Micah had said that they would never find his father, which made Niki believe that Micah knew something, but now she has another problem on her hands. The officer is being paid of by Mr. Linderman, the guy that her husband ripped off, the same guy she owes money to, the same guy who sent over those too goons that she killed. IF there was any time for Niki 2.0 to show her face, I think right now would be VERY convenient.

However, if Niki 2.0 doesn’t come out, Niki might have some help in the form of Hiro and Ando. Following the comic book, they had flown a plane to Los Angeles, rented a Nissan Versa which, when combined with the video iPod Ando used to download Niki’s porn and play it later (from http://www.lasvegasniki.com. I already checked, it redirects to a fan site), combines for some annoying product placement. Not as bad as my all time favorite use of AA.com on the OC, but still pretty shameless. Like I said, Hiro has gone by the book, and everything is going according to plan, but that may be coming to an end. It looked like the last panel of the last page of the comic book was the one that said drive to Vegas. From there, I’m not sure where Hiro and Ando are off to, but I do recommend Light at the Bellagio for a bumpin good time, complete with girl’s accidentally lighting their hair on fire and J-Unit telling girls he is a producer in Los Angeles. (Hey, I produce laughs all the time don’t I?)

We have all had times when somebody close has stabbed us in the back. Sometimes it may be unintentional and sometimes it may be malicious. Try this one on for size. Your brother is running for office. While at his fundraising party, you happen to bump into the hot woman you have been lusting after, but couldn’t make a move because you were feeding her father his dinner through a straw. You might look awful with your hair slicked back, and you surely look like an idiot talking out of the side of your moth, but you manage to tell this hottie that you were in love with her from the first moment that you saw her.

That’s awkward enough, but then your brother begins his speech, and since it is his party, you have to let him talk. I hope by now you have figured out that this isn’t a dream scenario but one that happened with Peter, Nathan, and Simone. Nathan got up to do his speech, talked about his father’s depression, and then told the whole audience that Peter was depressed and tried to kill himself. His excuse for publicly throwing his brother under the bus? He didn’t want him to suffer alone.

Peter is pissed and storms out, and I’m thinking that was going to be all, but Peter is does have confidence these days. He finds his Nathan after the fundraiser, and punches him in the face. Yes! Nathan’s security literally had to pull him off. And if punching his brother in the face wasn’t enough of a reward, he happened to bump into Simone while he was trying to hail a cab outside in the rain. And then he kissed her. He was too big of a pussy to try that just a week ago, but now he’s different. Maybe he can’t fly, but at least he got some action. Between flying and sex, which would you choose? That’s what I thought.

I guess that really means that Simone and Isaac are not going to be an item, and he even drew the two of them together without realizing it. We see him look at his heroin spoon and lighter, and it looks like he’ll be left chasing the dragon with the white nurse all night long. Then again, if he draws a little longer, he might see that Simone wakes up the next morning, realizes her mistake, tells Peter he is nice but to young, comes over to Isaac’s apartment and gives him the best makeup sex of his life…but he’ll probably just hit the smack.

Wow, I guess I should talk about Mohinder a bit. Mohinder decided that Sylar was a bad guy, so he called the police and took him up to the apartment. When they got there, the apartment was completely cleaned out, like nobody was living there. It didn’t look like the work of a madman though. It looked like what some overly zealous government agency would do. Remember, Sylar had the map that was much closer to completion than Dr. Suresh’s. I’m guessing that Eden tipped off her pals, who came in and cleaned the place. They get all of the research Sylar has been doing AND they get to make Mohinder look like a fool. Luckily for him, he took a lot of pictures with his digital camera, but it’s not like the police can issue a warrant with that. Anyway, it looks like Mohinder is back to square one when it comes to Sylar.

We should also check in on Matt. After the wife kicked him out, he went to have a few beers at the bar. Well, he only had one beer. Although he was enjoying himself, listening to random conversations, he noticed a scary looking dude on the other side of the bar. We don’t know who he is, although I guess we are supposed to think he is Sylar, but I think that would be too easy. He has a necklace with that strange symbol that looks like some sort of strange scripted “F”. We see the symbol all over the place. Don’t believe me? Check this link (warning, may contain spoilers) [thanks for the link pearlblackdragon]. Matt knows that he is bad even though he can’t read his mind, but when he goes to get up, he just collapses.

And now for the twist. When Claire hit her head, I never thought that she could die, but it looked like she really did. The next time we see her, her eyes are glazed over like she’s dead, but then somebody takes the branch out of her head and she comes back alive. There’s probably no way she can hide her power now. They probably already called her parents to tell her that she was dead. Claire gets up to see where she was, and she has no chest! They already started performing the autopsy on her and her entire ribcage is exposed. Wow. I am going to love hearing THAT explanation.

For me, this was another great episode. The answers never get any easier, and I love thinking about coming up with all the scenarios in my head. They will fill pieces of the puzzle in the right places, but by the end of the episode, you look up and realize the puzzle is now twice as big as when you started. Some may find it confusing, but I find it really exciting.

What did you think of the episode? Do Simone and Peter have a future? What will Hiro and Ando do in Vegas? Is Matt Parkman in trouble? How will Claire get out of her latest mess?