Well, Hit Me Baby One More Time is no longer worth putting too much effort into recapping. The names are too obscure and the performances are too boring. But some people may like to know what happened, so we’ll recap it, photo essay style.
Finally! We get some washed-up stars who are fat. Thank you Greg Khin.
The acts were so bad, we often had to cut to audience shots to keep us awake.
If those boobs are a-bouncin’, don’t come a …. what was I talking about again?
Hints that you weren’t meant to be a musician, number 35. “Your best-known song is a soul rendition of another soul song somebody else sung first.”
This is Haddaway, who performed two weeks ago. It has nothing to do with this episode, except I thought I would liven things up by posting a picture of that one dancer’s quite spankable ass. Seriously, I would love to meet her, even if there was a cover charge.
To prove that he is “down” with what’s hip, the lead singer of Glass Tiger debuts his updated look that features two earrings and a suit with tennis shoes. This look hasn’t been seen since, well, every Rod Stewart concert after 1981.
After Howard Jones wowed audiences last week, the producers brought Billy Vera, officially renaming the fourth segment of the show “Old Cancer Patients Playing Piano.”
Hints that you weren’t meant to be a musician, number 1,075. “After your music career is finished, your dream is to become a professional dominoes player.”
Here is another picture of that Haddaway dancer and her round butt. Hmm, maybe I’ll throw these pictures away now.
Thelma Houston sang her hit “Don’t Leave Me This Way” (great song), and covered “Fallin’” by Alicia Keyes. She won because almost twenty percent of the audience was still awake for her second performance.