I’ve Been Looking For a New Team Anyways

Well it’s time for the House season finale, and it’s time to send Foreman on his way. And it’s all happened so quickly. It seems like just yesterday he was suggesting a treatment that would result in killing a woman who just had a simple staph infection. Oh, how the time flies.

But would Foreman really be on his way out? For weeks people have been arguing with House that he should try to make Foreman stay, and House has utterly refused. Would they really write Foreman out of the show though? I mean, they’d have to go through all of the trouble of finding another ethnic character, and, judging by all of them on the show, it’s they’re obviously hard to cast. There were actually quite a few shocks in this episode, so keep reading to see what happened.

When tonight’s episode began, I was worried I was watching that terrible movie The Guardian because it started with a Coast Guard rescue. Well, I assume that was a terrible movie, because I’d never go see something that terrible. But I digress. In the helicopter was a woman, freshly rescued, shivering and soaking wet. Down below was her husband/boyfriend, and a rescuer, trying to get the husband/boyfriend to let go of the luggage he was holding. Well, bad news, they’re out of fuel, so either the husband/boyfriend needs to let go of the luggage or get left behind. So he goes underwater, and it looks like he makes himself pass out for a second to let go of the luggage, and he gets hoisted up. He immediately goes to his wife to check on her, and he starts speaking in Spanish, saying she’s sick. What was in the luggage? Her medical records. They need to go see Dr. House. And then she pukes all over everybody. Well, at least she did in my mind.

I’m gonna hurl.

Is House really that well known that a couple of Coast Guard guys off the coast of Florida know who he is? Well, for the purpose of the show he apparently is. The patient and her husband get to the hospital, but House is nowhere to be found and he’s not answering Cuddy’s calls. Where is he? Why, he’s leading the celebration in Foreman’s going away party. Except, not exactly. He’s in the cafeteria spying on Foreman and his goodbye party. Wilson wanders into the cafeteria and finds House though, since whenever Cuddy can’t reach House, she calls Wilson. House is refusing to see his patient because she didn’t have an appointment, and because she didn’t reach “terra firma” and probably because he’s busy with the spying. Wilson says the woman has 10 different things wrong with her, including pains all over. Then the conversation turns to Foreman leaving, and Wilson tells House to show Foreman that he cares. House plays the guitar he got in 8th grade, he’s lived in the same apartment for 15 years, and he never changes his underwear; he’s not good with change.

Subtle.

To cover the whole water-rescue thing, these people were defecting from Cuba to see House because the wife is sick. Now, with the medical records lost, none of the LittleHouses have an idea what could be wrong. And on top of them disappointing House in that way, none of them are certified deep-sea divers either. Talk about useless. While this is going on, Foreman is checking his email, which is what I would do if I was about to leave my job. Well, if I even showed up. But, House says Cuba has good doctors, they’re just not equipped with the high-tech scanning devices. Cameron goes to run an MRI, and Chase is told to check the husband, because if both the husband and wife have similar conditions, his can be eliminated, leaving them with whatever is making her sick. Giving that a little thought doesn’t really seem to make a lot of sense, but hey, I’m not doctor. Wait, am I? Sometimes I can’t remember. I practice medicine out of the back of my van, which I park in an alley, so I think that actually does make me a doctor.

Treadingonme, PHD

Anyways, Chase goes to check out the husband, and tells him that House doesn’t care about him. But he risked his life so his wife could see a jerk, and Chase says he made the right choice. Man, what a suck up. Meanwhile, Cameron is performing the MRI on the wife. Apparently her husband can fix anything, but he couldn’t fix the motor on the boat (which broke on the second day of their trip) and he couldn’t fix her. I assume by that she means that she no longer loves him because he’s a failure, and she’ll be heading back to Cuba by herself.

Chase goes to tell House the symptoms of the husband, then tells him that Foreman doesn’t want to leave. Chase thinks Foreman will cave, just like Cameron always done with him. House says Foreman isn’t as easy as Cameron, but who is? Cut to Cameron, who’s sitting in the room. Well played. House thinks that the wife has MS, so he sends Foreman to check her out. The husband is insistent that she does not have MS, because they would have caught that in Cuba. While Foreman is doing his examination, the woman flatlines, but she’s still conscious. Oops, no big deal, her pulse monitor slipped off her finger. But when Foreman slides it back on, it causes immense pain. Foreman then turns her arm and it breaks or something. Then he gives her an Indian burn for good measure.

Woops, sorry! But if it helps, your fortune line is really deep.

Well, that was a curveball. The woman is too young to have osteoporosis, and Foreman thinks it’s bone cancer. House agrees, because the symptoms point to that, but Chase is pissed and thinks House is sucking up to Foreman so he won’t leave. Talk about the pot calling the kettle black. Especially when the pot is always sucking up to the kettle in the first place. After that little eruption, House was sitting in his office and Chase walked in, I think to apologize for the blow up. Hey, don’t worry about it Chase. You’re fired. House reasons that it’s time for a change, and since Chase has the most experience and the least to learn, he’s the one to go. Chase is speechless, but then he musters the courage to tell House off with “Fine.” Not exactly leaving with your dignity after that outburst a couple moments ago Chasey. Enjoy the severance pay.

Close your mouth.

Chase walks into the examination room where Cameron and Foreman are, and he tells them he’s fired. He explains what happened, and then he points something out. Foreman and Chase look to see that he’s right, and when they turn around he’s gone. House is in his office rocking out on his air guitar cane when Cameron and Foreman walk in wanting to know what’s going on. They don’t have an answer for what’s wrong with the woman, so he doesn’t have an answer for them. House says that Foreman asked him to fire Chase, which may or may not be true. Then Cuddy comes in wanting to know why Chase was fired, and she gets the same response. She begins to accuse him of not dealing with issues, and then it’s Wilson’s turn to come in. Cuddy demands House call and unfire Chase. Chase tells House about the blood clot in the woman’s arm, and House ends the conversation with “You’re still fired. Sorry.”

Blood clot means there’s a heart problem, so House tells them to do an angiogram. They need the husband’s consent, and he’s still wondering why House hasn’t seen his wife yet. He signs the consent form, but then Foreman gives the man House’s home phone number and tells him to keep trying if House doesn’t answer. Well played Foreman. Nice to see you’re not such a bitch this week.

Cameron is supposedly assisting Foreman with the angiogram, but she’s pissed at Foreman for telling House to fire Chase. Then in walks House, pissed because the husband had been calling him for hours, and rather than talk to him, he came all the way into the hospital. I guess he’s got some pretty immaculate timing, because the woman begins to complain of chest pains. Then she flatlines. But, there’s kind of a problem here. She’s still conscious. She just has no pulse. House tells her to cough so she’ll stay alive, and Cameron and Foreman begin doing CPR to get the heart jumping again. Apparently there’s some sort of clot and if it moves to her brain she’s dead. Regardless, House decides he’s going to leave and let Cameron and Foreman do chest compressions until he can figure out what’s wrong with this woman.

Her husband called me at home. Let her die.

Wilson is in the operating room performing surgery, and the TV screen behind him switches to show House’s face.

Take off your shirt.

House then begins asking Wilson about this woman, and the only possible explanation for this to happen would be that Foreman nicked an artery, but he is positive he didn’t. He can’t consult the Housers though, because Chase is still fired and Cameron and Foreman are doing CPR. Upstairs, the husband is getting a little nervous that his wife isn’t back, and she should have been back an hour ago. I would probably be more hysterical than he was, but maybe he knew her feelings about him being such a failure.

Elsewhere in the hospital, Cuddy is taking some med students on rounds when House interrupts. He explains the situation, to which Cuddy goes to students for an answer. The first kid who tried to answer was wrong, so House said he failed. Next guy who tried to answer wasn’t bad. C. Then one girl said botox injections. But she’s actually not an idiot. Well, she may be, but her reasoning was pretty solid, so despite being wrong, House gave her a B+ and asked for her resume. Cuddy said something about this woman being on bypass, and House pointed out that she wasn’t on bypass, and Cameron and Foreman were doing CPR. How long? Three hours. Cuddy then demands that this woman be put on bypass.

Aren’t you on ER?

The husband was sitting in the waiting room, and his wife was wheeled by, but he didn’t get any answers to what was going on. So he did what any Cuban defect does. He wandered around, not looking suspicious at all. He found his way to House’s office, and House tells him to wait before he starts cleaning. The man says he’s not a janitor, but he would actually love the job, so allow him to speak his piece and then he’ll start. This man just wants House to look at his wife, and he says “How do you know what’s wrong if you don’t look at it?” Light bulb. House leaves and goes to where they’re hooking the heart up on bypass. Everything looks normal on it, so he wants the surgeon to start the heart up again. There’s another slight problem though. After six attempts, this heart still hasn’t started. This lady is dead. And I don’t think I’m out of line in blaming Foreman.

What’s for dinner?

Foreman is packing up his shit, and he and Cameron are about to take off for the night when House walks back into his office. He is refusing to accept that this woman is dead, but Foreman and Cameron definitely can’t help him, so he kicks them out. Cameron meets up with Chase at some bar where he’s eating. He says he’s ok with getting fired because it is time for a change. He also apologizes for asking Cameron out every Tuesday because it was silly. Well, silly and immature. But at least he’s going to leave my woman alone. Or is he? He asks Cameron if she wants to stick around for a drink, but yet again DE-nied. That’s my girl.

Cuddy walks into House’s office, and he compliments her gams. Except he said legs and not gams. She wants to know why the patient is still on bypass. There’s a small discussion, but ultimately House decides to take her off bypass, so he goes to tell the husband to say his goobyes. House finds the husband in the chapel, and after House him he needs to say goodbye, House gets a hug for his trouble. Back down in ICU (or wherever they are), House turns off all the machines. The husband is crying on his dead wife’s chest, and all of a sudden he thinks he felt a heartbeat. No Cuban, you’re crazy. Also, remember how this dude was talking Spanish at the beginning to American Coast Guard? But he’s had this command of the English language the whole time? I digress. The Cuban is sure his wife’s heart is beating, and House checks, and he’s right. Not only that, the woman comes back to consciousness. And I think she does so with her chest cavity still open. Which is awesome, and I’m sure not painful at all.

The woman has now been off bypass for 3 hours, and her pain is gone. House isn’t sure it’s gone, and rather than assume it’s a tropical infection that just passed, he thinks it’s something bigger. Maybe it’s a congenital defect with her ticker. House wants to do an angiogram again, and this time they’re a little more nervous about allowing it, what with the whole legally dead for hours thing. House conducts it, and at first it just looks normal. However, right where he expects it, House sees the defect. The woman has three ostiums, and you’re only supposed to have two, and it was making her sensitive to clots and throwing off the angiogram. Just one more surgery and this woman will be fine. And there wasn’t even any blood spurting or puking or anything.

Well, with the case wrapped up, I guess we should work focus on some relationships. Chase walks out of his apartment, wearing a hat that makes him look like a jackass, and Cameron is waiting outside for him. Hopefully to kick him in the balls. Damnit, she’s waiting to be asked out, and the two kiss. NOOOOOOO.

Whhhhyyyyyyyyyy?

Back in the hospital, Foreman is getting ready to leave. House says he wants Foreman to stay, and says he needs Foreman. “I know. But I don’t need you, and I definitely don’t want to be you. You’re miserable.” House says he’s actually ecstatic that he just solved a remarkable case, but Foreman doesn’t want to solve cases. He wants to save lives. House then asked if Foreman thinks anybody will care what House thought, as long as everyone is alive and happy? Foreman cares, but House goes on to say that Foreman only cares about himself, about his ego, and then he really lets Foreman have it, with Wilson (who’s been in there the entire time) just tries to interject and make him stop once. House says Foreman is the selfish bastard, and that’s why he drew out the whole goodbye because it definitely didn’t help anybody. So Foreman walks out. So long you selfish bastard.

Now Cameron is waiting in House’s office. And she’s got something for him. No, it’s not lovin’, it’s her resignation letter. House asks what she expects him to do, and she says she expects him to be fine, and she says she’ll miss him. Well, duh. Of course she will. Then she leaves as well. So House goes to see his new friend the husband, and they share a couple of American victory cigars and a shot of what I’ll assume is rum. The husband asks if House is upset that he’s lost all of his subordinates, and House says he isn’t. He thinks he’s ok. Then again, who wouldn’t be ok while on their way to getting drunk. I know I sure would be.

Come on! It’s the end, we’re drunk…let’s make out.

House finally arrives home, and he’s got a box waiting for him. You can immediately tell that he’s decided to buy a new guitar, replacing the old one he got in 8th grade. And the episode ends with House playing his new toy.

So what did you think of the episode, and what’s going to happen next season? New cast? Same cast, back in different roles? And is House really going to be ok with change in the future? Because I hope not.