As I’ve mentioned before, I haven’t watched House since it began, because I was above the people who watched it. But since I’ve started watching it, I’ve developed both likes and dislikes about the show that I often spot at many points throughout various episodes. For example, aside from the obvious HouseSnark, I love when House insists he’s right all the way through an episode, sometimes being proven right, other times being proven incorrect. However, I noticed, especially when I first started watching, that everyone felt the need to psychoanalyze House numerous times, because something has to be wrong with him, right? I wished they would have just left it alone, but that’s just me. Anyways, this week we kind of see the return of both of those, and we also see House return to the clinic. Who will he get to diagnose STD’s to this week? Find out after the jump.This week’s episode of Who Can Foreman Make Suffer starts off in some sort of a karate class. There are just two people having a match (battle? spar? what do you call it?) and the guy is getting dominated by the girl. He gets knocked down, complains to his sensei who tells him to suck it up, and the girl goes back to kicking his ass. As she goes to do one of her kicks, we see blood splatter on something on a shelf. She stumbles a little, tries to kick the guy’s ass a little more, but falls and starts coughing as blood flows from her mouth. Strong start to this week’s episode, and the only thing that could have made it better would be some sort of projectile bloody cough.
I ain’t afraid of no stinkin’ girl!
House walks in, and he’s laughing at something on the side of his coffee cup. The LittleHouses aren’t ready for him yet, so Cameron tells him to leave. Eventually they are ready for him, and House asks if they got to the part where the blood didn’t come from anywhere yet. Then Cuddy wanders in, asks for Foreman and House, and she has Foreman sign something about his resignation. Foreman is kind of confused that Cuddy isn’t harassing him to stay. When they left, House told Chase and Cameron to figure out why Cuddy needed him, and when he got back into the meeting room, House wanted to know what Chase and Cameron had come up with. Rather than waste everyone’s time, Foreman just tells everyone that he resigned. But he does it in sort of a pompous way like he’s better than everyone, which is funny, since no one else has killed anyone in the past two weeks but him.
Chase and Foreman are watching the girl working out, waiting until her heart rate gets high enough, and Chase begins his interrogation of Foreman, trying to find out why he’s resigning. Foreman doesn’t want to talk to Chase about it, and he especially doesn’t want to deal with any emotional crap, and he says it’s because he doesn’t like Chase. So suddenly Foreman is a racist? Chase then psychoanalyzes Foreman, saying that if Foreman was cool with his reason for leaving, he would gladly divulge it. Since he doesn’t, Chase thinks Foreman is ashamed of his reason for leaving. Once the girl’s heart rate gets high enough, the two discover she doesn’t have a heart problem, but she does have goosebumps. Very life-threatening.
Get this girl some moisturizer.
Foreman and Chase are arguing about what the girl has, but House thinks they’re both wrong and it’s an infection. Chase then tries to get House to tell him why Foreman’s leaving, and House also lies, obviously. Chase then thinks that House is also ashamed of the reason why Foreman is leaving. Silly Chase. House just hates you.
House walks into Wilson’s office, and Wilson has bought him a cup of coffee. Wilson yawned, and House is wondering why. House is suspicious, but Wilson just says he was up late. House then tells Wilson that Foreman is leaving. House told him how it happened, and Wilson said he should try to bargain with Foreman to get him to stay. House says something along the lines of how much would it cost to make someone want to be him. I would take whatever House makes to be him. Or maybe 75% of what he makes. Or millions of dollars.
House thinks the girl is fine now, and her infection has passed, but the Housers aren’t so sure. They still think she’s sick, but House then asks them what causes yawning. At one point, House makes a joke and Foreman laughs. Chase asks why he’s never laughed before, and Foreman says he’s never been a kissass. So Chase asks if that’s what he’s doing now. Touche Chase. While that’s going on, House says they better figure out what’s wrong with that girl because she’s about to crash.
Her lungs were collapsing, and he has no proof to think so, but House still thinks it’s an infection. She’s not showing any signs of any infection, so House says to check the girl’s lungs and giver her a double dose of antibiotics. Chase and Foreman tell House her lungs look fine, and he tells them to check her lungs on the inside. I love when House is so sure of himself.
This week we get to see House back in the clinic, and his patient is some dude who’s girlfriend, a nutritionist, is with him. Apparently the guy is worried about his shit, because it’s not floating, and his girlfriend says it’s supposed to. Also, they’re vegans, and the guy said that at first he was worried about it, but he’s used to it now. He’s still pretty fat, so I’m guessing he’s lying. House asks the girl if she wants to leave, but the guy says they do everything together. “Whatever floats your poop” responds House. I find myself using that same line often. We can just ignore the context I use though…
My hot wife’s gotta problem with floaters.
Apparently the girl’s lungs are clean. House is still adamant that she’s got an infection, and he wonders if maybe her body begins to fight the infection, but it can’t finish the fight, so she’s never fully cured. Maybe her body is a quitter. Sound familiar Foreman? Maybe she’s missing a protein says House. Of course, the protein he thinks she’s missing can’t be tested for, and if she’s got it, there’s no cure. House says you can test the most susceptible cells and see if it’s there. Where are the most susceptible cells? You guess it. In the eyeball. Better jam a needle in there just in case.
Back to the clinic, House walks in and says that the guy is cheating on the nutritionist. She seems to take it in stride, and House is surprised. He meant that he’s cheating on his diet. His shit is full of fat, which is why it’s floating. How’s that for descriptive? He’s been eating hamburgers, and that is what pisses off the nutritionist. So she’s ok with him sleeping with other people (he’s not a great catch), but she’s pissed off about meat? It’s hard to decide if that relationship is worth it if meat is not involved.
Chase is about to give the girl the needle in her eye, and the girl is kind of nervous about it. Hmm, nervous about a needle in the eye. What a wiener. Seriously, can’t you just put someone down for that? It seems unnecessary to be awake. Chase tells the girl she’ll feel nothing, and then we see a graphic of the needle just jamming right into the eye. It didn’t explode though, like I was hoping for.
Back in House’s office he mashes up some pills and puts them into a cup of coffee. But he has two cups sitting in front of him. Wilson walks in, as House had called him in, and the other cup of coffee is for him. Wilson is skeptical, because he doesn’t know how House carried two full cups of coffee and his cane. House explains, lying of course, but Wilson is satisfied, at least enough that he takes the cup in front of House, which is just what House had planned. Wilson then takes a drink and doesn’t notice anything. Perfect. The LittleHouses then walk into the room next to House’s office, and Wilson tells House that he should talk to Foreman so he doesn’t leave. House doesn’t really want to do it though. He walks in with everyone else, and they tell him that the eye was clean. House still thinks he’s right, so he orders a brain MRI.
While doing the MRI, Foreman tells Cameron why he’s leaving. I don’t remember anything special about the conversation from Cameron’s perspective. However, while the girl was in the MRI machine, she started screaming about her head hurting. They pull her out of the machine and look at her head. BRAINS!!! Her brain was exposed! Why did that make me hungry?
They biopsy the brain and House says the head blew up. There’s no pus, so there’s no infection. Regardless, House still thinks he’s right. Chase says if it’s auto-immune, they can give her steroids and she’ll be better, and if they don’t hurry she’ll die soon. House says if it’s not auto-immune, she’ll die NOW. Then House asks Foreman how that feels. Ooh, maybe a little below the belt on that one. No, nevermind. It wasn’t.
I’m not really sure what happened, but for some reason, Cameron is going to shock this girl while she’s still awake, and Chase tells the parents it’s so the girl can describe the pain. Just as she’s about to shock the girl, Cameron chickens out. Seriously, I have no idea what’s going on. While that whole thing was going on, House and Cuddy had a discussion, and Cuddy wants House to talk to Foreman so he won’t leave. So, I guess everyone wants House to talk to Foreman, but don’t they know he won’t do it?
Let’s check in on Wilson. Foreman walks into Wilson’s office, and Wilson is trying to put a sticker perfectly straight onto a file. So Wilson’s on speed? Wilson decides he should convince Foreman to stay, and while he’s talking, he makes up the word “symbolicating.” He corrects himself though, with “symbolicalating.” Not going to lie, Wilson on speed is hilarious. He has to leave to go to a “boob thing” and spouts off some gibberish before leaving. He struggles putting his gloves on for the exam since he’s hands are shaking, and he’s sweating and talking fast. Much like me when I do my boob exams. I mean, um. While conducting the exam, Wilson winks at the patient. Again, like my boob exams. He realizes he’s acting strange, so he checks his heart rate, and it’s racing. HOUSE!
Three Jews walked into a bar…
Wilson shows up at House’s door, and he’s significantly less peppy. House concludes that Wilson is on anti-depressants, and House is pissed that Wilson didn’t tell him. Not too much else happens interesting there, until later when House is sleeping. His phone rings, and he doesn’t answer it. I’m guessing not long after that, House is woken up by Cameron in his room. Chase was wrong and the girl’s kidney shut down. I would love to be woken up by Cameron, and I was disappointed in House’s response.
House says HUS (whatever he thinks is wrong) is caused by either infection or protein deficiency, but he thinks both are true. House is smiling as he’s saying this, and everyone is pissed because House looks so happy that he’s right. He says he’s not happy, but that sure looks like a smile. They decide not to tell the girl until they’re sure House is right, which will be soon enough, because when the next infection hits, it will shut down her liver and send her into cardiac arrest. We see various shots of the hospital, and there the girl goes into cardiac arrest. Foreman walks into House’s office, and he was just barely able to bring the girl back. +1 House.
Well, here it is, House finally talks to Foreman. House says Foreman doesn’t want to quit, and Foreman’s trying to change House so he doesn’t feel as bad about turning into House. Foreman is still being a wiener about killing that girl. I don’t know if they’re actually trying to make Foreman less likable (to me personally) because they’re writing him out, or if they’re keeping him.
House goes to tell the family what the diagnosis is. He seems really excited that it’s such a rare disease, and he’s smiling as he’s telling the family. The girl seems to take it very well, and she doesn’t even want to know what’s wrong. He nearly comes to the point of harassing this girl about not wanting to know what’s killing her, and as he’s talking, he looks into the mirror and sees himself smiling. He either realizes Foreman’s point or Wilson’s point as he looks at his reflection. Or he sees how ugly his smile is. He storms into Wilson’s office. Wilson was slipping anti-depressants into House’s coffee. While arguing about it, House says that he’s no different than he’s ever been. Wait a minute…
This is your brain on drugs.
He goes back to talk to the girl and kicks her parents out by telling them she’s going to live. It turns out the girl tried to kill herself by taking kitchen cleaner. But she didn’t just drink it, she either put it in gelcaps or gum. Because she did that, it was undetectable by regular tests. That explains why she was so ready to die though. Also, this may seem strange, but doesn’t this girl look strangely similar to Brooke from Real World?
Oh my God y’all, that scares me.
While the girl is in surgery, having something repaired, Cuddy is observing above, and she calls Foreman to meet with her. She tells him that there are worse things to turn into than House, and Foreman responds that it’s not worth it. What a bitch. Foreman, not Cuddy.
House meets the nutritionist at a bar for a drink. He is blatantly honest with her that he lies, he eats meat, he’s unfaithful, takes anti-depressants and likes drugs. She takes it in stride, though, saying “How miserable can you be saving lives, doing drugs and sleeping around?”
So that was this week’s episode. I thought next week was the season finale, but it looks like I was wrong. So that’s like the first time ever. What did you think of the episode? Is Foreman going to leave? Will House get a girlfriend? Can Wilson take amphetamines every week?