Newsgasm: Bitch Ain’t My Baby Edition

Industry

By m_ruv | Wednesday, October 26, 2005 | 1:26 pm | 4 Comments

janet.jpg

  • Countering all the celebrity mother news of late, Janet Jackson denies reports that she has a secret 18-year-old love child. In a statement, she said, “I do not have a child and all allegations saying so are false. I already have enough on my mind, what with my bodyfat reaching a worrisome 0.2% and a bitch of a rash from my titanium nipple clamp. Please leave me be.” [CNN]
  • Infinity Broadcasting announced today that its replacements for Howard Stern will be Adam “Even I Don’t Understand My Appeal” Carolla and, yes, David Lee Roth. Apparently Peabo Bryson and Udo Kier were unavailable. [E! online]
  • WNBA star Cheryl Swoopes has announced that she dabbles, shall we say, in the sapphic arts. It might hurt Swoopes’s sponsorship deals, but at least Queen Latifah FINALLY has a date to the Oscars. [Sports Illustrated]
  • And ushering in a new, geriatric era of corporate whoring, the Rolling Stones are releasing an album of rare tracks via a partnership with Starbucks. Apparently cocaine is just a gateway drug on the path to caffeine addiction. [Reuters]

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4 Comments

  1. 1
    America's Next Top Fan
    Posted October 26, 2005 at 2:27 pm

    Congratulations Cheryl Swoopes!

    Waiting on you Mike Piazza…be a man and step to the plate!

  2. 2
    Liz
    Posted October 26, 2005 at 2:29 pm

    Sheryl Swoopes is gay? I’d venture that she has a Y chromosome.

  3. 3
    mountain girl
    Posted October 26, 2005 at 2:50 pm

    I understand that it doesn’t fit with the theme of the day but no mention of the new Muppets “reality” show? It doesn’t get much better than that!

  4. 4
    adam strange
    Posted October 27, 2005 at 7:33 am

    Peabo? Udo.

    Udo? Peabo.

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