Newsgasm: IT’S.MY.BIRTH-DAY.HU-MAN Edition

Industry

By m_ruv | Friday, January 6, 2006 | 11:19 am | 11 Comments

chenbirth.jpg

  • Time to boot up blowoutcandles.exe and put_on_partyhat.scr, because it’s the Chenbot‘s birthday. According to IMDB, she was born in the year 11110110010, which would make it 100100 years since she came off the assembly line.
  • Treading gleefully down the path toward career suicide, Jon Stewart has agreed to host this year’s Oscars on March 5. Expect the ever-popular celebrity death montage to be narrated by a ranting Lewis Black. [NY Newsday]
  • Heiress/trollop Paris Hilton has been slapped with two libel lawsuits: one for publicly trashing the ex of of her own ex-boyfriend Paris Latsis, the other for badmouthing an LA club promoter. Questioned by a reporter, Paris said, “Wait, what do you mean things have ‘consequences’? What’s ‘consequences’?” [E! online]
  • And our dear little Lindsay Lohan was released from a Miami hospital today. So she can recover from food poisoning in two hours but needs SIX DAYS to get over an asthma attack? I’d call that horseshit, but even that seems generous. [AP]

About

11 Comments

  1. 1
    ivapbj
    Posted January 6, 2006 at 11:47 am

    Why is she called the Chen-bot?

  2. 2
    jash
    Posted January 6, 2006 at 12:02 pm

    oh, such a loaded question!

    in short, it is because of her eerily robotic precision…i suggest you read ANY post here.

  3. 3
    derder
    Posted January 6, 2006 at 2:49 pm

    Happy Birthday Chenbot! We love you! And that isn’t a small feat here at TVgasm. We hate almost everyone!

  4. 4
    Phenom
    Posted January 6, 2006 at 2:52 pm

    Oh my god!

    I wonder what the Chenbot is going to transform into?

    Or is she going to shoot death beams out of her eyes?

    That pic is awesome…

  5. 5
    Punkrockdad
    Posted January 6, 2006 at 3:45 pm

    In honor of Heronner’s B-Day, I have ordered a TVgasm Exclusive Chenbot T-Shirt from Cafe Press. I suggest you all do the same, and wear them proudly. Who knows, the 5 of us might keep TVgasm up and running!

  6. 6
    Leah3t
    Posted January 6, 2006 at 3:45 pm

    I’m going to start checking some dead sea scrolls and other ancient tomes regarding the 100100th birthday of a humanoid form. this is gonna be even better than the da vinci code.

  7. 7
    TinkerbellAPixie
    Posted January 6, 2006 at 4:24 pm

    OOOH I want a Chen-bot t-shirt!! Could wear it with my Vote for Kaysar pin and TVGasm hat.

  8. 8
    B-Side
    Posted January 6, 2006 at 6:16 pm

    Oooh! Take a picture of you in the Chenbot shirt!

  9. 9
    EdHill
    Posted January 6, 2006 at 7:56 pm

    Speaking of which, exactly how many “Save Kaysar” buttons are lying around the TVGasm offices by now?

  10. 10
    Helenann
    Posted January 7, 2006 at 1:28 am

    I want a pair of boxers that say, “Chen-butt” on the ass.

  11. 11
    Kathryn
    Posted January 10, 2006 at 12:57 pm

    Hahaha… blowoutcandles.exe really made me laugh. ChenBot jokes never stop being funny, ever.

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