Newsgasm: Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them Edition

14 Comments

1. 1
   jash
   Posted January 11, 2006 at 8:28 am

   seriously, how the fuck can the kids from malcolm in the middle afford a $3.7MM house??

   dewey, i can understand because he was always the cutest and will grow up to be the most awkward looking and thus desrves money to buy a big place to hide away in–you know, like the hunchback of notre dame.

2. 2
   Lizardqueen
   Posted January 11, 2006 at 8:54 am

   Why doesn’t Lindsay Lohan just change her name to Richard Cranium? Yeah, it’s called a tape recorder, dumbass.
   In other news: It’s over between me and Brad Pitt. He has horrible breath anyway. I’m also breaking up with Angelina after I get her to “loan” me that black leather Versace number she wore to the Mr. and Mrs. Smith Premiere.

3. 3
   Jackers
   Posted January 11, 2006 at 9:32 am

   See kids, when you snort too much coke you forget to say “off the record”. Don’t let this happen to you!

   P.S.- When did Teen People become the place to debate what true “journalism” is?

4. 4
   holyterror
   Posted January 11, 2006 at 9:41 am

   I just love it when anyone uses the word “appalled.”

   It seems to me to always be an admission of deception — like “the check’s in the mail.”

5. 5
   suebee
   Posted January 11, 2006 at 10:43 am

   While I don’t want to be defending Lindsay Lohan, is it possible that when she said she was making herself sick that she just wasn’t eating much? You can feel sick when you don’t eat. When I do this and then drink a Coke, I literally make myself sick to my stomach. Just a thought.

6. 6
   jash
   Posted January 11, 2006 at 11:34 am

   i think its the coke making you sick.

   that stuff will rot your insides and steal your soul.

7. 7
   AbbyAnn
   Posted January 11, 2006 at 11:37 am

   suebee, I assume that you only occassionally don’t eat and then drink a Coke. From the way she looked, it was clear that Lohan was either routinely not eating, routinely eating then throwing it all up, or some combination of the two, probably with drugs thrown in to boot. If you get busy at work and miss lunch one day, you may feel sick but it was accidental and you don’t have a problem. If you waste away to nothing, you’ve done something to make yourself sick and need help. Whatever she meant to say in her interview, Lindsay needs help; it’s sad that just when she showed a sign of self-awareness about it, her ego or supposed public image got in the way.

8. 8
   Leah3t
   Posted January 11, 2006 at 12:30 pm

   Thank you for the Lord of the Rings reference m-ruv. we need more of those until “lost” comes back and we can turn our sauron like eye back to that nerd-dom instead. what?! lost is on again TONIGHT!?!? celebrate oh stewards of gondor!

9. 9
   suebee
   Posted January 11, 2006 at 2:12 pm

   Good points AbbyAnn. And actually, I’ve stopped “doing Coca-Cola”. Jash is right. I think it was rotting my insides and it has too many calories anyway.

10. 10
    jash
    Posted January 11, 2006 at 2:18 pm

    but if you dump a can of coke into your roasting pan with your ham that you are cooking, it will result in a SUMPTUOUS gravy.

11. 11
    hannahthehun
    Posted January 11, 2006 at 2:53 pm

    Yes! Can’t wait to see Angelina fat and bloated!

12. 12
    Helenann
    Posted January 11, 2006 at 3:01 pm

    Suebee…
    You DRINK the coke.
    She SCHNORTS it.
    Yay Coca-Cola!

13. 13
    fycin
    Posted January 11, 2006 at 8:45 pm

    Is it sad that I think Reese from Malcolm in the Middle is hot? Maybe it’s just that it’s compared to Frankie Muniz, whose voice inexplicably matured to sound like Marlee Matlin’s.

14. 14
    TinkerbellAPixie
    Posted January 12, 2006 at 5:14 am

    “Hope Diamond, Berfield’s publicist, confirmed the sale Tuesday, but wouldn’t disclose the price”
    That name has GOT to be a joke.