Newsgasm: No News, So Here’s Some Tabloid Trash Edition

Industry

By m_ruv | Friday, November 4, 2005 | 11:08 am | 14 Comments

Disaster Ashlee Simpson, whose name is an anagram for “shalom penises,” just went on a late-night drunken rampage at a McDonalds in Toronto—which someone of course caught on video. She was in town recording “songs” for her forthcoming “album,” which incidentally is titled Shalom Penises. [egotastic.com]
Oooh SCANDAL amongst the aristocratic-cheekbone set as Kristin Scott-Thomas has left her husband of eighteen years (and three children) for a much younger man. Apparently having one hyphen in your name is no longer enough. [NY Post]
And if you haven’t already caught this photo, do so posthaste because it nearly tops the Nick Nolte DUI mugshot. [goldenfiddle.com]

Comments (14)
More About Author

About m_ruv

14 Comments

1

Lizardqueen

Posted November 4, 2005 at 11:55 am

If Nick Nolte’s mugshot and James Brown’s mugshot had a love child…
2

stevo

Posted November 4, 2005 at 1:17 pm

I just want Ashlee Simpson to go away…forever. The so called notes she craws out from her beak are like nails on a chalkboard. Who buys that shit?
3

Mullethead

Posted November 4, 2005 at 1:51 pm

Not aging so well…

In fact, Meg and Goldie make Ashley look GOOD!
4

Helenann

Posted November 4, 2005 at 2:01 pm

Okay, that’s Meg, but that sure ain’t Goldie’s body! maybe more like Kurt’s!
5

B-Side

Posted November 4, 2005 at 2:11 pm

With all the facial grutesqueness, one might overlook Meg Ryan’s GINORMOUS pit stain. heh.
6

Ihatemullets

Posted November 4, 2005 at 2:13 pm

ashlee simpsons nose is the worst thing ive ever seen and I just got back from Iraq
7

ATCmurph

Posted November 4, 2005 at 5:52 pm

Shalom penises…hehe…good one
8

Trumpoline

Posted November 4, 2005 at 10:29 pm

I think Ashlee was trying to “lala in the kitchen…on the floor” at McDonalds.
9

GoGoPowerRangers

Posted November 5, 2005 at 7:26 am

Ashlee Simpson is so full of herself.

How dare she be rude to employees of McDonalds! I hope they give her hell when she has to go and work there after all the dumbasses who are buying her albums finally see her for the talentless piece of trash she is.
10

wtf

Posted November 5, 2005 at 8:28 am

A semen ho lisps?
Nameless ho sip?
Heals pine moss?
Manhole pisses?
Asshole penis m?
Shame nose lips?
11

TM

Posted November 8, 2005 at 1:04 am

There is a blog/livejournal (livejournal, shudder, I know) that is very TVGasm-esque in its humor. It’s at http://www.livejournal.com/users/shrimpjaw/, someone here might enjoy it.
12

TM

Posted November 8, 2005 at 1:05 am

the link above doesn’t work, just delete the comma at the end and it shall.
13

Alikat

Posted November 10, 2005 at 9:23 am

Yes i think Ashlee does have a bit of an atitude problem. I did notice it peek out a bit when she got punk’d. She seemed to show an ugly side on that show as well.
14

Jen

Posted November 14, 2005 at 11:13 am

I think ashlee simpson is spoiled. And of course she CANNOT sing. But she does write good songs and has good taste. Just no common sense ecspecially when she drinks. I agree with alikat. She does show a bratty personality sometimes. And other times she acts all nice. Wich we know is fake. But I’m a hypocrite b/c i wan’t her new album