Newsgasm: Pansexual Bonanza Edition

Industry

By m_ruv | Tuesday, April 18, 2006 | 7:38 am | 10 Comments

lesbelina.jpg

  • If the tabloids are to be believed, Angelina Jolie still loves her some lesbo lust action. According to model and ex-Angelina trick Jenny Shimizu, Ms. Jolie is an “unbelievable lesbian lover” whose days as a sapphic sister are not yet over. [News of the World, warning NSFW]
  • Since we all can’t get enough news of the world’s favorite pillow-lipped alien, here’s SOME MORE—yet another article about her windswept, lion-defended birthing bungalow in darkest Africa. [E! online]
  • In a move that will disappoint corn gods everywhere, Mel Gibson has delayed the release of his Mayan epic Apocalypto due to incessant torrential rains in Mexico. You know what this sounds like to me? A sign from God to STOP THE DAMN PRODUCTION. [AP]
  • And I guess Tom Cruise was “joking” about, you know, eating his unborn child’s placenta, but in any case I’m still cleaning up the vomit from my keyboard. Oh, Scientology humor! [The Sun]

About

10 Comments

  1. 1
    zevonia
    Posted April 18, 2006 at 10:07 am

    I just have one question: which child will be the anti-Christ- Brangelina’s or TomKat’s?

  2. 2
    derder
    Posted April 18, 2006 at 10:15 am

    Why on earth would Tom Cruise even joke about eating the placenta? What a sick fucker, seriously.

  3. 3
    CB
    Posted April 18, 2006 at 10:25 am

    Whoa m-ruv, seriously give a girl a warning. Im at work and opened up the Angelina link only to have 2 large breasts staring back at me. What a HOT BODY!

  4. 4
    J Unit
    Posted April 18, 2006 at 10:28 am

    Maybe Tom had read about the wonders of amniotic stem cells and didn’t trust all of those glib scientists doing “research”.

  5. 5
    Clair
    Posted April 18, 2006 at 11:03 am

    CB,

    m_ruv DID give a warning – “Warning NSFW”, which means Not Suitable for Work.

  6. 6
    jeff
    Posted April 18, 2006 at 11:36 am

    Would someone tell me why Angelina Jolie would hit that?

  7. 7
    mandymax
    Posted April 18, 2006 at 12:23 pm

    Believe it or not, eating the placenta is customary in some cultures – it’s supposed to be a bonding ritual between the father and the baby.

    Don’t ask me where I learned that or how it came up in conversation. I’d rather not try to remember.

  8. 8
    dredge
    Posted April 18, 2006 at 2:14 pm

    just shows Tom is a schizophrenic..Scientology doesn’t believe in medicine, but he’ll order a sonogram machine and use it on his wife. Someone needs to call him a sick fuck already.

  9. 9
    Leah3t
    Posted April 18, 2006 at 4:20 pm

    the baby is here! the baby is here! it’s a girl!

    run for your lives!!!

  10. 10
    Shollia
    Posted April 18, 2006 at 10:43 pm

    Wow… that asian chick is totally p-whooped.
    What a class act to want to break up a relationship… :\

Post a Comment

Your email is never published nor shared. Required fields are marked *

*
*

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

Human Verification: In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.