Newsgasm: Turns Out Tom Cruise Is Really Connected Edition

20 Comments

1. 1
   LagunaBeached
   Posted August 24, 2006 at 12:57 pm

   Tom Cruise is an idiot. I should’ve never started that feud with Brooke Shields. I think Katie should leave him and let him go bankrupt.

2. 2
   LagunaBeached
   Posted August 24, 2006 at 12:59 pm

   err I meant “HE” should’ve never started that fight with Brooke Shields

3. 3
   boomersmommy
   Posted August 24, 2006 at 1:00 pm

   What is Mark’s Very Extravagant Mother going to Just Send Us Now?

4. 4
   Lizardqueen
   Posted August 24, 2006 at 1:12 pm

   Word, boomersmommy. I’m pretty upset about this. My very excellent mother just sent us nectarines. I’ve heard that there are 3 others contending for planet status, so we may have to come up with some new tricks.

5. 5
   boomersmommy
   Posted August 24, 2006 at 1:23 pm

   Let’s see..if they decide on Xena, she could send us Xylophones.

6. 6
   WhosYourPapi
   Posted August 24, 2006 at 1:40 pm

   Why in the world are they letting an actor who was on “The Naked Truth” for two seasons compete on Survivor? Can we expect to see Dan Cortese on next year’s Big Brother?

7. 7
   mizta
   Posted August 24, 2006 at 1:42 pm

   “In case you haven’t heard yet, the upcoming season of Survivor will divide tribes on racial lines. Rumor has it that the castaways will intersect with each other in convenient and stagey ways, learning simplistic lessons about their prejudices all along the way. In other news, Survivor has already won the Oscar for Best Picture.”

   This is what happens when Crash wins Best Picture.

8. 8
   boomersmommy
   Posted August 24, 2006 at 2:03 pm

   WhosYourPapi: If I counted correctly, at least six of the new Survivor castaways have SOME connection to showbiz. What’s your beef with the guy who was on The Naked Truth? Seems he’s been in other shows, too, including CSI, which I watch religiously, yet don’t remember EVER seeing. Must be a bit player or extra.

   Are you afraid of CBS giving this guy some unfair advantage over the others? If so, what would that be? Don’t really see the difference in his being on the show as compared to the others.

9. 9
   maybeimamazed02
   Posted August 24, 2006 at 4:08 pm

   They’re keeping HORATIO SANZ. Jesus Christ. What SNL really needs to do is an entire cast overhaul in which they fire everyone except Andy Samberg. That way, Amy Poehler can go back to doing the funny, edgy, dark stuff she’s good at.

10. 10
    Ubiquitous
    Posted August 25, 2006 at 3:08 am

    Better yet, just cancel the damned show already and put it (and us) out of our misery.

11. 11
    MissKatrina
    Posted August 25, 2006 at 7:12 am

    SNL is like the tide, it fluctuates. Only, the moon isn’t in charge of SNL’s fluctuations…Lorne Michaels is.

    The Survivor thing is ridiculous. Fame-hungry attention whores are all the same, even if they have different pigmentation. No need to separate them based on that.

12. 12
    boomersmommy
    Posted August 25, 2006 at 7:42 am

    Concerning the new Survivor angle…uhh, where’s the NATIVE AMERICAN tribe?!?

13. 13
    Sweet_Mullet
    Posted August 25, 2006 at 9:03 am

    As long as there is fighting, backstabbing and lying to each others’ faces, do we really give a damn who is on Survivor or how they are divided into tribes? Unless it’s the Crips and the Bloods or the Israelis and the Hezbollah, what difference does it make?

    As far as SNL is concerned, they should fire every last person on the show and burn that studio to the ground. Then Lorne Michaels can spend the rest of his life sitting in his exhibit at the Museum of Television.

14. 14
    maybeimamazed02
    Posted August 25, 2006 at 11:39 am

    All the Survivor tribes need is a lock-in at the rec center. It always works. I mean, come on!

15. 15
    umnata
    Posted August 25, 2006 at 1:21 pm

    is that a picture of tom cruise getting a facial?

16. 16
    tvaholic
    Posted August 25, 2006 at 2:51 pm

    I’d be willing to buy K-Fed’s cd only if all the proceeds went towards his vasectomy.

17. 17
    KatiesHole
    Posted August 25, 2006 at 4:07 pm

    Why is there so much news coverage of this Tom Cruise nonsense? He is the most over rated actor in the history of motion pictures. Forget his lunacy, look at his work, it sucks. He plays the same character over and over. I started to hate him right after that awful piece of shit, “jerry maguire”. What crap. He’s crap. Go away forever Tom!

    KH

18. 18
    Ubiquitous
    Posted August 28, 2006 at 9:34 am

    is that a picture of tom cruise getting a facial?Just an emabrassing PDA with Water Bottle…

19. 19
    Ubiquitous
    Posted August 28, 2006 at 9:36 am

    is that a picture of tom cruise getting a facial?
    No, just an embarassing PDA with Water Bottle…

20. 20
    Ubiquitous
    Posted August 28, 2006 at 9:37 am

    is that a picture of tom cruise getting a facial?

    No, just an embarassing PDA with Water Bottle…