Last week our master of annoyance, Al Fliction, was sent home after failing to impress the judges with his black and white version of the pearly gates. This week the artists are going to be challenged with tattooing parts of the body that are quite tricky. I have to confess that the further we get into this show, the more I find Oliver to be such an adorable little beaver. I don’t know if it’s the wood chewing or the torched eyebrows but he’s just adorable.
After the last elimination everyone is at home thinking it could have been them while Josh admits that he was shitting himself during elimination. He thinks his critique was harassment and a bunch of bullshit and then further whines that he didn’t get the canvas that he wanted. He does this all while sitting on the floor and throwing a tantrum…ok he doesn’t really but he probably would have if he wasn’t on camera. Bili hopes that the next challenge doesn’t end up with him getting another weird ass client. Shane is in his bedroom drawing gay things to himself and interviews that he’s leading the pack and has a good shot at winning.
All guest judges must be bald.
The Flash Challenge is going to test the artists technical precision by having them draw a beveled star on either an elbow or a knee. Elbows and knees are difficult to tattoo because therese usually a lot of calluses and it’s a warped area that is constantly stretching. The lines of the star need to be tight and there needs to be symmetry. James gives us a “lord have mercy” and Dave says Chris and Oliver will judge along with a guest judge, Creative Director for Inked Magazine’s Todd Weinberger. His job is to decide what tattoos make it into the magazine so I can safely assume that this challenge will have added pressure. You have to think that even if they don’t win the competition they could still impress him enough to get spots in the magazine later on in their careers. Todd explains he looks for bright popping colors, overall concept and placement when deciding what tattoos grace the pages of Inked Magazine.
I’m pretty much overusing this picture and I know it.
Heather makes what is probably the dumbest statement ever by saying she can finally show what she can do because it’s a challenge that has to do with tattooing…OK. You’re on a reality competition about tattooing…um, where have you been for the last 4 challenges? Shane assumes a girl’s knee should be nicer than a guy’s knee but I’ve seen some scrapped up ashy knees on a girl before so when you assume, you make an ass…The canvas client’s choose their artist randomly by picking a star that has the name of the artist underneath it. The artist’s can use any style they choose and I assume they have about 2 hours to complete the tattoo.
Lea states the obvious that it’s hard to do a straight line on a knee and freaks out. Heather’s client asks if he has a good elbow and she berates him and tells him no and you have a very bad wrinkly elbow. Good thing he didn’t ask about his balls. Heather does feel like she’s finally in the competition and ready to win. Glad you decided to join the rest of us halfway through the competition. She keeps going on about her client’s elbow when Chris comes by to check her progress and lets us know that elbows and knees are equally difficult. James is looking for the weak link now that the competition is thinning and Tommy is looking much hotter as the competition gets deeper. I think it’s the fact that he’s now actively speaking whereas before he was a creepy wallflower. Dave warns the artists that they have 5 minutes left and he’s wearing a trench coat for some reason.
Beveled Star on Elbow or Knee
The winner is Josh whom Oliver says is finally back from the dead (is it because it’s not a black and white challenge?). Shane emerges as the new Al and rolls his eyes and interviews that Josh is one of the weakest in the group and that he should have won. He reminds us that we are watching a reality tv show by throwing out a generic “I’m not here to make friends” line. He corners poor Josh inside the fridge and reminds Josh that he did the cleanest lines he has ever done in his life and that he wishes he had known that it was more of a color challenge. I do have to say that I liked Shane’s overall tattoo better than Josh’s but he should have picked a better color. It looked like the chick’s leg was gangrening. Josh reiterates my point by saying that since Shane has been doing this so long that he should have known to pick better colors.
This is how much Josh cared.
The artists meet with Dave to learn about the Elimination Challenge and lets us know that “pictures paint a thousand words”. The Elimination Challenge showcases those precision skills from the flash challenge because the artists must create a photo realistic tattoo. Dave says the tattoos need to look like a photo with 3D quality and of course, Shane specializes in 3D and he doesn’t expect to be beaten by anyone in his genre. There is a lot of emphasis on the fact that the tattoo needs to look like a photograph and as we find out, there are a lot of opinions on what photo realism means. Dave introduces each canvas and what they are looking to get done. Josh, being the winner, gets to select who he would like to work on and starts interviewing each canvas. He ends up selecting an older gentleman that wants to get fruits and veggies done on his arm. The canvas’ randomly select their artists by picking skulls with their names underneath them.
Josh picked the guy who wanted fruits, according to Shane, because he can hide mistakes with bright bold colors. Bili let’s us know that he also specializes in photo realism, guess we will find out. James, who has been too quiet for my tastes this episode, lets us know that he likes animals and some of the other canvas were more to his tastes like the wolf but he ended up with the birds. He has great difficulty trying to find an image of a swallow in flight and that worries him. Shane’s client wants 4 wolves with cubs to symbolize his family but Shane knows with the time limit he wouldn’t be able to do a good job or complete that many wolves. He tries to talk his client down so that he doesn’t end up doing a bad job and unlike Bili, he does it out of respect for wanting to do a great job and not trying to show he’s a good artist. I can respect Shane for looking out for the client. Speaking of Bili, his client wants to reveal the inner muscles and tendons of his arm but he doesn’t want to look like Hellraiser with all the blood. Bili laments that he always gets stuck with these difficult clients. I wonder if it’s the pressure of the show or if he really just doesn’t like listening to what his clients want. Leaning towards pressure unless he keeps blaming his clients..
Someone missed nap time!
Shane and Josh are talking at the brownstone and Josh reveals that he just wants to do better than the next guy. Shane says he doesn’t want to do just better than someone else, he wants to stay at the top and be the best. Bili gives his definition of photo realism as tricking the eye into believing what it’s seeing is real. Uh no Bili…photo realism is making the tattoo look exactly like a photo. Bili also complains that if he isn’t allowed to show blood with his tattoo then he won’t be able to do much photo realism. The artists begin the challenge and Heather wastes an hour applying and reapplying her stencil. James ended up having to draw the birds himself as he couldn’t find a proper photo. Josh notices that Shane is doing a black and white piece again and says that in order to be an Ink Master you have to be able to do it all. UM, whose the dick that created a shitty black and white piece last week with a devil holding onto a phantom penis? Sit down Josh! Heather’s back starts aching and James says he doesn’t know what kind of ailment she has but he’s been bending over in weird spots for 20 years and has never had that kind of pain. Josh says it’s probably in her head.
At home after the tattoos are done, Shane starts calling out Heather to her face. AlDuece tells Heather that her helmet was stupid as shit and that if he had done it, he would have rocked the shit out it. Heather just sits there and tells him that was a low blow while he continues to rant in the other room. He tells Tommy how much her helmet sucked and Tommy says that he stayed up all night doing his stencils and even helped Heather with hers who went to bed early. James says she even outlined the flames which she shouldn’t have done if she wanted it realistic and Josh says she either wasn’t capable of doing it or she just didn’t want to.
Photo Realism Tattoos
All the judges agree that Josh did a good tattoo and Oliver says it looks like pop art but it’s artistically illustrated. The biggest concern is that the fruits lack proportion and end up looking unrealistic. Josh says he made the fruits bigger to make them look more realistic but he misses the mark that it isn’t photo realistic.
Request: Wolf or Mountain Lion
The judges ask Tommy whose choice it was to add color and he says the client basically gave him free range. Oliver admits it looks more like a painting and Chris says what would have shut Oliver up would have been if Tommy had made the hairs hit more sharply.
Request: Howling Wolves
Shane is praised for his wolves, especially the cub on the left, as looking great. Chris says Shane hits all the textures and that is what made it look realistic.
Request: Barn Swallow in Flight
James lets the judges know that photo realistic tattoos are not his strong suit and that he couldn’t find a suitable picture so he drew the birds himself. Oliver says the tattoo definitely looks illustrated and the weakest link is the background which has no structure or form of cloud flow.
Request: Snow Leopard
Lea impresses all of the judges and Dave says her piece is unbelievable. Oliver agrees and states her detail shading captures the personality of the animal. Chris believes this is the best tattoo she has done in the entire competition by far and welcomes her back into the running.
Request: Fireman’s Helmet
Heather doesn’t fare well during judging as none of them like her piece. Heather reveals that she realizes that she doesn’t do photo realistic tattoos and is good at doing anime and illustrations. Todd remarks that he doesn’t know if his eyes or the skin look more sore and that the letters on the hat look janky. Heather says they look like that because they are supposed to be burnt up and that she tried to compensate for her client’s dark skin. Oliver states the obvious that it doesn’t look like anything in real life.
Request: Visible Muscle Structure
Todd says that Bili’s tattoo looks too illustrated and that it leans more towards the horror or sci fi genre. Bili blames his client for not wanting stitches or blood which would have made it more realistic looking and that he tried to accommodate the client. Oliver says that the tattoo is not photo realistic but Bili shakes his head in disagreement.
Chris lets the artists know that the competition is heating up and getting harder for the judges to send someone home. Everyone left is a major player and the journey will end for all but one of them. The artists are dismissed and AlDeuce is pissed off because Lea got better praise then he did for an easy tattoo. Bili doesn’t feel safe because it wasn’t the right style for a good tattoo. Shane thinks Heather should go home for doing the crappy helmet and rhetorically asks what good tattoo has she done so far? He then tells Bili and Josh, who he assumes will get called out, that if one of them goes home over Heather to make a big fu*king scene. Heather tells the group that if she goes home that the judges can suck it because she does smoking tattoos. Oliver comes in and asks that Bili, Josh, Heather and Lea go in for judging when they are ready. Bili gets a moment of badassery and jumps up and says let’s just get this over with.
Why is Josh so far from Heather? Did she fart?
Lea is announced as the winner as she captured the aspects of the photo and did exactly what she was asked of. Josh is asked if he deserves to be in the bottom and he says it depends on what the judges are about to tell him. He’s told his tattoo looked more like an oil painting and the proportions are off. Josh asks Chris if he would have placed a small strawberry on the hand and Chris says I would have done a few strawberries or at least have figured out how to make it photo realistic. Bili is told he is there because his piece is more organic and Todd says he wanted a more clinical approach and that the mark was missed. Bili says that was the card he was dealt. Heather’s piece was completely hated by Todd who called it an Ink Disaster and then says it’s not photo realistic at all. Heather says she is exhausted and Todd reiterates that you have to do every style well.
The judges send home Heather, duh! Her piece as a tattoo didn’t even look like a good tattoo regardless of it not being photo realistic. I’m sure she does good pieces at home but she completely floundered in each and every challenge. Heather hugs her competitors goodbye and says losing is always hard and that she is a good artist that can do anything. She then proceeds to cry as I wave buh bye. Heather really annoyed me because she could have played her cards much differently. Lea is also having a hard time but she didn’t cry and bitch every single moment and to this day, Heather is giving interviews about what a horrible time she had. You basically came in unprepared and then wasted a great opportunity to get your name out there.
Bye Girl, don’t know why you looked so shocked!
Did you guys agree with the judges this week? Am I the only one who will not miss Heather?
Also I just wanted to personally thank everyone who reads my recaps and comments, I read them all and they are greatly appreciated!
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