Ink Master Recap: Pasties and a Cameltoe

Last week, Jeremy Miller was set free after failing to impress with his tribal tattoo. This week opens directly after his elimination and with Al stating that they all need to stop acting like friends and start acting like competitors. Bili seems to be his target as he thinks he should have went home for not finishing his head tattoo. Al believes that Bili jumped out the window without a parachute and Tommy ends up calling Al crazy who replies that it’s not just him, all artists are crazy.

This week’s Flash Challenge revolves around shading which creates depth and dimension to tattoos. Without proper shading, a tattoo will end up looking flat and lifeless. I’ll let James describe what the canvas’ the artists will be working on look like. Remember when I said way back in the first episode that James is going to give us a lot of great quotes? Guess what he said when the women came out…”Lord have mercy they done brought us some half naked ladies with pasties and a camel toe, this is the most amazing thing I seen all week long”.

Just imagine him saying it with a southern drawl

Each artist is assigned a canvas randomly and they have 90 minutes to complete the task. James starts creating flowers in a Japanese shading technique and again hits us with some greatness when he remarks that he “loves to be on his knees in front of a beautiful lady”. Can someone just make soundbites of everything he says because it’s reality gold to me. As much as everyone might dislike Al, he seems to be the only one having fun while creating his piece on the canvas. Heather complains again that the flash challenges are difficult because she is a more meticulous planner and the challenges are on the spot. She realizes that she’s in a competition, right?

Flash Challenge
90 Minutes
Shading

Tommy

Bili

Shane

Heather

James

Josh

Lea

Al

Dave says everyone did well but the winner is Al. Now let me explain to you what Al said to the judges regarding his concept because you are probably wondering how he won exactly. You see Al took us out of the world of tattooing and into the world of art and did a piece based on 3 quarter lighting and Rembrandt lighting. Oliver stated that he gave them the definition of shading and that’s how Al won. Bili let’s us know that if tattooing doesn’t work out, Al should check out a career in selling cars because he is a hustler. Agreed! Al is the best BS’er of them all, I mean, you remember back when he tried to say that Polynesian totem poles face a certain way and that’s why his tattoo faced outward instead inward?

Time for the Elimination Challenge and this time the artists are to create their pieces with only black ink, though they can dilute it to create a grey color. James compares it to that old school prison style where all they had was black ink to work with. Al gets to select his canvas first since he won the Flash Challenge and he starts asking each canvas what they want completed. The first guy explains that he wants a head tattoo of a Baku and Al says good luck with that. He ends up picking the only black guy in the line up and explains that he feels he should pick him because he tattoos in the inner city and he has to represent. The other artists are randomly selected by the canvas who select skulls with the names of the artist underneath them. Wouldn’t you know…Bili ends up getting the guy who wants a baku head tattoo. Is this a case of awesome producer interference? Like the producers called for a break and switched all the skulls to say Bili and then had that guy select his skull? Bili knows he is screwed to be stuck with two head tattoos in a row.

Bili is not amused.

During consultation, we actually got a lot more interaction with the clients and why they wanted the particular tattoos they had chosen. Shane’s client wants his tattoo to resemble a bionic arm but in place of the robotics, he wants cooking utensils because he is a chef. James again does not disappoint when he lets us know his client wants a flea market on his arm because he starts describing various pieces he wants incorporated. Josh’s client wants something resembling the Sistine Chapel where the top half will be an angel and the bottom half will be a devil. Josh doesn’t feel comfortable because he really only does full color tattoos. Tommy’s client came with a design already completed of a Celtic band with a New York skyline. Tommy notes that with the small buildings there won’t be much to do in terms of shading which is the point of the challenge. Bili’s client wants a full head tattoo and his client says he basically wants every part where he has hair to be covered. At home, Al lets us know that Bili complains and whines too much and that he should just leave.

The artist begin their challenge and everyone is off to a good start except Bili. An hour into the challenge and Bili has yet to pick up his instrument because his client is still deciding on the stencil. Bili explains that his stencils are very complex and that the client might not understand that. The client explains that he doesn’t like the first design because the claw of the Baku looks too much like a hand. After a few design changes, the client finally agrees that time is ticking and goes back to the first design but opts to have it done on his leg instead of his head. Bili is now irritated that so much time was wasted but gets to work to get the piece done in the 4 hours he has left.

Elimination Challenge
5 Hours
Black and Grey

Dave Navarro has batman tattoos on his shoulders. How did I miss this previously? Sorry digression…We get a little snippet of an interview with Josh’s client, Sam. Sam says the tattoo didn’t exactly match his idea of what he wanted and that he wanted to constantly turn his head away but kept looking in case Josh made a mistake. I kind of want to find this Sam and ask him how he feels about his tattoo now that it’s been a few months. To be honest it looks kind of crappy and the devil creature looks like he’s reaching for some penis to put in his mouth. Go ahead and look for it when you see Josh’s picture below.

Al

Al believes this challenge was exactly up his alley and explains that his client wanted a cross representing a relative who had passed and some pearly gates. Oliver says that Al’s pearly gates looked like swiss cheese but Al counters with his awesome logic. He says that his interpretation of the pearly gates is his own and it won’t be the same as Oliver’s vision. I’m pretty sure everyone’s interpretation of the pearly gates is the same. I don’t know how you could mix up what a white gate looks like. Chris says the shading wasn’t there and there was no smooth gradient.

Lea

Lea feels happy with her tattoo but Oliver says he wanted more transition and that she should extend her greys but overall the sizing was perfect. Lea’s client had originally wanted a larger tattoo but because of the time constraint, Lea started with a smaller portion and then built up as time went on. I also think she took what the judges said to her last week about doing large scale pieces.

James

James says that black and grey is tricky and Oliver says that one side of his tattoo ended up mostly dark and Chris says that James cut his nose off of his face. I think Chris writes down a list of catchphrases to use for each episode but he can’t compete with James so he needs to knock the sh*t off.

Shane

Shane’s tattoo to Dave was impressive and he loved the drop shadow. Shane is very well known in the tattoo world for his black and grey work so I guess this challenge was to his advantage and his alone to lose. From what I have read about him, he’s currently 8 months booked in advanced which is pretty amazing.

Bili

Bili explains that his client came in thinking that he could get his whole head done but realized that with the time constraint it wouldn’t be possible. I think Bili kind of pushed his client out of doing the head tattoo because he didn’t want to fail again. Not that Bili isn’t talented but 5 hours is definitely not long enough for a full head tattoo. Bili’s client wanted a Baku which is a traditional Japanese spirit that is sort of a hybrid between an elephant and a tiger that steals dreams. Chris says that the tattoo is not a representation of a traditional Baku and that his teeth at the top are missing as well as the tail. Bili says the client asked and received exactly what he wanted and Chris says we can bring up any google image you want right now but that it was not a traditional Baku.

Tommy

Tommy’s tattoo is liked by Oliver who comments on the shading and the gradients but believes that he lost the shape of Lady Liberty’s face a bit. Tommy is starting to get a little more air time and because of that his quiet creep factor is diminishing for me, he’s actually kind of hot when he wears his glasses.

Heather

Heather thinks she did a good job and is very happy with the end result. Oliver says that the shading wasn’t soft or feminine and it could have been kicked up a notch. Heather looks shocked as usual.

Josh

Josh struggled with his tattoo and Oliver says that its darker than it should have been and there is no discernible foreground or background. Plus the devil is grabbing for a penis for his mouth. Chris again interjects his catchphrase of the week and says something about not crapping the bed and sleeping it in too since Josh is great with color but not so good with black and grey. This isn’t a dig on Josh as I do like his work but the whole point of the show is to be a master of ALL styles. That’s why Jeremy got kicked after all.

Chris explains to all the artists that each challenge is building towards something bigger and that every thing will come in to play because they will need it all in the end. He says if they can’t do every type of tattoo style then what unhappy customer are they going to have next week. With that they are dismissed and Al asks everyone how they feel about the ass whooping they just received. Bili believes that he did bring in shading and Al corrects him saying the piece is too dark and that he has never seen a Baku that dark or missing that many elements. Bili asks Al if he even knows what a Baku is and he says no he doesn’t know what that sh*t is but it doesn’t matter because Bili should own up to his sh*t. Bili tries to explain what a Baku is but Al out yells him and says if he had messed up he would have admitted it and then Tommy calls Al out on his pearly gates. Tommy asks if he really feels that his pearly gates looked like gates and Al again tells them that it was his interpretation to which Tommy says he is full of crap. Then Al says Tommy’s Statue of Liberty looked like a transvestite. Oliver comes in and calls for Al, Shane, Josh and Bili. Before Al leaves he gives Tommy a final “Fu*k You” in case he doesn’t get the chance to do so later.

Shane of course wins the best tattoo because he had the best transition and showed dimension and shadowing. Oliver tells the rest of the group that if you don’t have all the skills then this competition is not for you. Chris reiterates that they are competing for $100,000 and that these tattoos will be stuck on someone forever (unless the producers pay for a cover up or laser removal). Josh’s tattoo should have been smoothed out more and more slick. Al’s tattoo had no good examples of shading and Al says to remember that he has dark skin but the judges let him know that even so he didn’t do a technically good show. Bili’s client asked for a specific tattoo image and Chris asks Bili point blank if he would wear the tattoo on his own body. Bili says he doesn’t wear Japanese tattoos and Chris says you didn’t say yes and that says a lot.

 Wait…WHAT??

The judges decide to send home Al and while many of you may be happy about that decision I think its kind of a bad move. I enjoyed Al’s annoying antics and banter because he added another level of entertainment value to the show. The other artists are more laid back individuals and aren’t as flamboyant so the drama/entertainment level may dip a bit without him. We’ll see how it turns out next week.

Oliver says to Al that his artistic skill is incredibly high and he hopes that Al can take his technical skill to that same level. Al says he has come a long way and 10 years ago he wouldn’t think being where he is now was even possible. He knows someone has to go home and he was the one that was dealt that hand. He actually takes his elimination with a humble spirit and I bid adieu to Al and his amazing eye wear and annoying banter. We’ll miss you JaRule!

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