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Tuesday, December 25, 2012
6:00 am
12 Comments
“I’ve never seen one, but that has all the earmarks of being a run,” taxi driver says. People are rushing down the street towards the Building and Loan. Aren’t we in like 1932? Is there any money left to run after? Some dumbass runs by and says, “If you’ve got any money in the bank, you’d better hurry.” George jumps out and runs to the Building and Loan – damn, Bedford Falls is like George’s own personal Bermuda Triangle.
George welcomes everyone to the bank and realizes it’s been locked up. What the hell? He goes upstairs and a buzzard greets him…no, it’s a crow. For now. Uncle Billy tells George that the bank called their loan an hour ago and they had to use all of their cash to pay it. Aren’t they supposed to have that and enough to cover all the savings people have? What the hell?
Uncle Billy says without having any money, he got scared and closed the doors. You moron, if you hadn’t done that, no one would have known for probably a few days – plenty of time to get to Mexico. The phone rings and it’s Darth Potter. He tells George he heard the rumor that they’ve closed their doors. Maybe because you started it, Dr. Evil!
Potter says that he’s guaranteed the funds the Building and Loan will need, but they have to close for a week then reopen. Because why now? Oh, yeah, so you can ruin this lousy business. He tells George to tell the customers to bring their shares to him and he’ll pay fifty cents on the dollar. What shares do they own? Don’t they just have money there? Or loans? Why did I major in marketing instead of finance, I’ve become useless!
George tells Potter to shove it all the way with a red-hot poker which would take some assistance since Potter’s in a wheelchair. Potter says if they don’t stay open until 6pm, they’ll be ruined. Why, is that the witching hour? Potter really needs a hobby.
Uncle Billy says, “George, was it a nice wedding? Gosh, I wish I could have been there.” George says, “Yeah,” then gestures to the string around Uncle Billy’s pinky finger. “You can take this one off now.” Yes, I would totally leave my money with these morons.
George heads out to the angry mob and tells them it’s not as black as it appears as sirens sound in the background. He tells them Potter has guaranteed the money but the bank won’t open until next week. Someone explain this to me! Why not just walk the goddamn money from Potter’s bank to the Building and Loan? They could take a taxi if they were worried about being robbed in those two blocks!
Everyone wants their money right there and then. George has to explain that the money isn’t there…it’s in everybody’s houses. “You’re lending them the money to build and they’re going to pay you back.” Well, we’re going to need the principal plus interest tout suite, George.
12 Comments
Oh, Crabby, hilarious as usual.
But didn’t you know that banks don’t have the money that you deposited? It’s kind of like a Ponzi scheme: they trust that not everybody is going to want to get their money out at the same time, so they will have enough to cover the people who do. That’s also what FDIC (Federal Deposit Insurance) is for, to protect people from bank runs and failures. And don’t ever ask about checking!
Merry Christmas!
If the Potters (less Harry) had prevailed, we would not be in the financial mess we’re in today.
Great (fun) recap, but it seems to be missing at least one page (I only get 12)…
Pixie’s got the right idea, but prior to the stock market crash (v. 1.0), there was no FDIC. That was one of the things created by the stock market crash (v. 1.0) once Roosevelt (v. 2.0) got into office.
I love these Christmas recaps, but I must say that this is one of the best Christmas movies ever. Don’t ask me why since it’s so depressing.
Yes, one page seems to be missing! I will work on it when I get home from my own soul-sucking savings and loan job, hahaha!
Crabby, you are hysterical! This recap is gold. I’ve never been a fan of this movie, it never clicked for me and now I know why!!! You totally pointed out all the things that don’t really make any sense.
Can’t wait for page 13.
I love this movie & your recap was great but I can’t wait for the last page. No matter how many times I’ve seen it when that brother makes his toast at the end I cry every time – I may cry now thinking about it – I’m such a wuss!
I think it’s hilarious your Potter/Dick Chaney analogy. During the inauguration when Chaney was in the wheelchair all I could think of was “he looks like Old Man Potter”
Just as a trivia tidbit – the Jew Mary was talking to at the dance was Alfalfa from the Little Rascals.
Have a great holiday!!
Yeah, hutchlover, I know that the FDIC didn’t exist until after the Depression. Also, before the FHA, HUD, etc., ordinary people could not get mortgages unless there was a building and loan company in their town.
Fire@will probably thinks those were the GOOD old days. When poor people knew their places.
And the reason we are in the mess we are now is BECAUSE of people like Potter, or his lookalike Dick Cheney, who got us into this wonderful war that was supposed to give us an endless supply of cheap oil and enrich Halliburton immeasurably (well, it did do that).
This was hilarious! I love you!!! “Is that Jerry’s Puffy Shirt?” Great line! I enjoyed this movie the one time I saw it, but I was confused by a lot of things. Your recap pointed out a lot of the same things, so I’m glad it wasn’t just me. Thanks for the good work! Can’t wait for page 13!
Love the recap with such a Republican spin. No wonder this will never be shown on a FOX channel
The taxi drive an cop (on pg 4)are named Bert and Ernie. Cracks me up everytime I hear it
TVsnarkeling, Bert & ERnie from Sesame Street were named after B&E from “It’s a Wonderful LIfe”.
One of my most fave movies ever!!!! I cry at the beginning when everyone is praying for George esp. the kids. I cry when Mary whispers “Geoerge Bailey I’ll love you till the day I die”
sigh………back to reading
I always hated that movie, bunch of treacle. Enjoyed your re-cap much more.