It’s a Wonderful Life – PSYCH!

Recaps

By DearCrabby | Tuesday, December 25, 2012 | 6:00 am | 12 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , ,
Posted in: Christmas Specials, Featured, Recaps

George runs to a bridge and almost gets hit by a truck. Doesn’t anyone recognize George? Why do they all gotta be haters tonight? Merry Christmas you small-town Christians and your hate!

George looks over the edge of the bridge and you know he’s going to jump. Do it! You said you wanted to build bridges – now this one will always be associated with your name. But instead someone else jumps. And screams for help. George takes off his coat and jumps in after the man, saving him. Unfortunately, they both have shrinkage.

In the office of the bridge engineer, George and Clarence are drying their clothes. Clarence says he jumped into the water to save George and George is like huh? Well, you didn’t commit suicide, did you? Then there is a whole big back-and-forth about how Clarence is an angel and the engineer gets the hell out of there. Way to stay on the job on a holiday.

Clarence tells to George that he’s an angel, second class (no, seriously) – and he’s George’s guardian angel. George asks why he doesn’t have wings and Clarence says he hasn’t earned them. How will he do that? “By letting me help you,” Clarence says. Sadly, he does not have $8,000 for George. This angel sucks!

Life 122209-41.JPG

Clarence…is that Jerry’s Puffy Shirt?

Clarence tells George that people are much better off thanks to George and George says everyone would be much better off without him. Let’s check that, shall we? After a little back and forth, Clarence decides to show George how things would have been if he had never been born.

First things first, George gets his hearing back in his left ear. He thinks it has to do with the cold water from the river but nooooo. They decide to go drinking for some reason but George’s car is gone – because he doesn’t exist! Even the tree is fine!

At the bar, Nick doesn’t know him and the bar is a skuzzy mess with lots of nasty people. Nick overhears the conversation between George and Clarence and thinks they are a couple of nuts. Or lovers. He should just assume they are drunk and pour them more to drink. Duh. Nick decides to throw them out of the bar as Old Man Gower comes into the bar.

“Hey rummy there, didn’t I tell you not to come panhandling around here?” Nick says to Gower as he sprays him in the face with soda water. He doesn’t recognize George because George never existed and it turns out Gower spent 20 years in jail for killing someone with a bad prescription! Go figure! Clarence tells George that he wasn’t there to stop Gower from mixing the wrong prescription.

Life 122209-42.JPG

Good to see Potter Clown College is still open.

Pages: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18

A Food Network host wannabe and travel fanatic (only three more continents to go!) , Dear Crabby lived in Chicago for over 10 years before returning to her native Ohio. She loves black martinis, blue cheese burgers, and The Daily Show. A two-time Chicago marathon finisher, she heartily dislikes Smokey Smokersons, slow drivers in the passing lane, and noisy children, especially when they ruin a fine dining experience or a trip to Target. A nouveau spinster, Dear Crabby spends her free time with her Cocker Spaniels and often goes by the pseudonym “Mrs. Clooney.”

12 Comments

  1. 1
    pixielated
    Posted December 23, 2009 at 1:58 pm

    Oh, Crabby, hilarious as usual.

    But didn’t you know that banks don’t have the money that you deposited? It’s kind of like a Ponzi scheme: they trust that not everybody is going to want to get their money out at the same time, so they will have enough to cover the people who do. That’s also what FDIC (Federal Deposit Insurance) is for, to protect people from bank runs and failures. And don’t ever ask about checking!

    Merry Christmas!

  2. 2
    fire@will
    Posted December 23, 2009 at 6:08 pm

    If the Potters (less Harry) had prevailed, we would not be in the financial mess we’re in today.

    Great (fun) recap, but it seems to be missing at least one page (I only get 12)…

  3. 3
    hutchlover
    Posted December 23, 2009 at 7:15 pm

    Pixie’s got the right idea, but prior to the stock market crash (v. 1.0), there was no FDIC. That was one of the things created by the stock market crash (v. 1.0) once Roosevelt (v. 2.0) got into office.

    I love these Christmas recaps, but I must say that this is one of the best Christmas movies ever. Don’t ask me why since it’s so depressing.

  4. 4
    dearcrabby
    Posted December 24, 2009 at 5:57 am

    Yes, one page seems to be missing! I will work on it when I get home from my own soul-sucking savings and loan job, hahaha!

  5. 5
    whoochile
    Posted December 24, 2009 at 6:10 am

    Crabby, you are hysterical! This recap is gold. I’ve never been a fan of this movie, it never clicked for me and now I know why!!! You totally pointed out all the things that don’t really make any sense.
    Can’t wait for page 13.

  6. 6
    ohionancy
    Posted December 24, 2009 at 10:20 am

    I love this movie & your recap was great but I can’t wait for the last page. No matter how many times I’ve seen it when that brother makes his toast at the end I cry every time – I may cry now thinking about it – I’m such a wuss!

    I think it’s hilarious your Potter/Dick Chaney analogy. During the inauguration when Chaney was in the wheelchair all I could think of was “he looks like Old Man Potter”

    Just as a trivia tidbit – the Jew Mary was talking to at the dance was Alfalfa from the Little Rascals.

    Have a great holiday!!

  7. 7
    pixielated
    Posted December 24, 2009 at 7:00 pm

    Yeah, hutchlover, I know that the FDIC didn’t exist until after the Depression. Also, before the FHA, HUD, etc., ordinary people could not get mortgages unless there was a building and loan company in their town.

    Fire@will probably thinks those were the GOOD old days. When poor people knew their places.

    And the reason we are in the mess we are now is BECAUSE of people like Potter, or his lookalike Dick Cheney, who got us into this wonderful war that was supposed to give us an endless supply of cheap oil and enrich Halliburton immeasurably (well, it did do that).

  8. 8
    thatswhatshesaid
    Posted December 25, 2009 at 8:54 pm

    This was hilarious! I love you!!! “Is that Jerry’s Puffy Shirt?” Great line! I enjoyed this movie the one time I saw it, but I was confused by a lot of things. Your recap pointed out a lot of the same things, so I’m glad it wasn’t just me. Thanks for the good work! Can’t wait for page 13!

  9. 9
    Tvsnarkeling
    Posted December 28, 2010 at 1:06 pm

    Love the recap with such a Republican spin. No wonder this will never be shown on a FOX channel

    The taxi drive an cop (on pg 4)are named Bert and Ernie. Cracks me up everytime I hear it

  10. 10
    hutchlover
    Posted December 28, 2010 at 3:58 pm

    TVsnarkeling, Bert & ERnie from Sesame Street were named after B&E from “It’s a Wonderful LIfe”.

  11. 11
    hot cawfee
    Posted December 26, 2012 at 6:53 am

    One of my most fave movies ever!!!! I cry at the beginning when everyone is praying for George esp. the kids. I cry when Mary whispers “Geoerge Bailey I’ll love you till the day I die”
    sigh………back to reading

  12. 12
    Aunt Dorsey
    Posted December 30, 2012 at 2:54 am

    I always hated that movie, bunch of treacle. Enjoyed your re-cap much more.

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