It’s a Wonderful Life – PSYCH!

Recaps

By DearCrabby | Tuesday, December 25, 2012 | 6:00 am | 12 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , ,
Posted in: Christmas Specials, Featured, Recaps

It starts to dawn on George that something is amiss. Clarence says, “There is no George Bailey.” Wow, it’s like he works at my company – non-existent! Clarence tells him to look for Zuzu’s petals in his pocket. They aren’t there! George thinks he’s having a dream and he wants to go home. Good luck with that!

George walks through town which is now known as Potterville – it’s full of saloons, dance clubs, strip clubs, and probably an antique store run by the local gay couple. Walking by one bar he sees the cops pulling Violet from the bar and putting her into a police car. Turns out the Building and Loan is a dance hall. Bet they make more money that way!

Life 122209-43.JPG

Girls Gone Wild: Bedford Falls!

George hails the cab and asks to be taken home, giving him the address of his big old house. He tries to ask the taxi driver about his life but the taxi driver has no idea who this is. He motions to a police officer as he drives George “home” because he’ll need backup once there. Did George have any money to pay for this taxi ride?

George gets out of the car and his house is a rotted, deserted mess, much like his life. The policeman shows up to see what’s up as George makes his way through the maze that is clearly a crack house. Clarence shows back up and tells him there’s no Mary or kids. George asks Bert the police officer and Ernie the taxi driver – wait, Bert and Ernie? If they know where his wife and kids are. The policeman grabs Clarence in an attempt to get to George and George runs away, then Clarence disappears while in the policeman’s hands. Oops!

George stops by his mother’s house and she’s running a boarding house. She doesn’t know who George is, won’t take in strangers (honey, it’s a BOARDING HOUSE, that’s how it works), and tells George Uncle Billy has been in the insane asylum (as opposed to the sane one) since his business failed. And that’s where George belongs!

Life 122209-44.JPG

Aren’t you Ma Joad from when I was in Grapes of Wrath?
No, wait, that was Henry Fonda.

George suddenly realizes he was never born! Clarence tells him how strange it is that one man’s life could affect so many others. “When he’s not around it leaves an awful hole,” he says. George decides to go to Bailey Park to see his Italian friend. He must need some comfort food. However, it’s not Bailey Park, it’s Potter’s Field and Cemetarium.

And speaking of dead people, George wasn’t around to save Harry – he died when he fell through the ice (although one could argue that Harry wouldn’t have been in that park because clearly those boys were George’s friend and Harry was just part of the entourage). George sees Harry’s tombstone showing he died when he was nine…which also means all those men in the war died since Harry wasn’t there to shoot down the planes that almost hit the transport. Did George’s existence cause Hitler to rise to power too? Damn!

Life 122209-45.JPG

George, get your college money back from him!

Pages: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18

A Food Network host wannabe and travel fanatic (only three more continents to go!) , Dear Crabby lived in Chicago for over 10 years before returning to her native Ohio. She loves black martinis, blue cheese burgers, and The Daily Show. A two-time Chicago marathon finisher, she heartily dislikes Smokey Smokersons, slow drivers in the passing lane, and noisy children, especially when they ruin a fine dining experience or a trip to Target. A nouveau spinster, Dear Crabby spends her free time with her Cocker Spaniels and often goes by the pseudonym “Mrs. Clooney.”

12 Comments

  1. 1
    pixielated
    Posted December 23, 2009 at 1:58 pm

    Oh, Crabby, hilarious as usual.

    But didn’t you know that banks don’t have the money that you deposited? It’s kind of like a Ponzi scheme: they trust that not everybody is going to want to get their money out at the same time, so they will have enough to cover the people who do. That’s also what FDIC (Federal Deposit Insurance) is for, to protect people from bank runs and failures. And don’t ever ask about checking!

    Merry Christmas!

  2. 2
    fire@will
    Posted December 23, 2009 at 6:08 pm

    If the Potters (less Harry) had prevailed, we would not be in the financial mess we’re in today.

    Great (fun) recap, but it seems to be missing at least one page (I only get 12)…

  3. 3
    hutchlover
    Posted December 23, 2009 at 7:15 pm

    Pixie’s got the right idea, but prior to the stock market crash (v. 1.0), there was no FDIC. That was one of the things created by the stock market crash (v. 1.0) once Roosevelt (v. 2.0) got into office.

    I love these Christmas recaps, but I must say that this is one of the best Christmas movies ever. Don’t ask me why since it’s so depressing.

  4. 4
    dearcrabby
    Posted December 24, 2009 at 5:57 am

    Yes, one page seems to be missing! I will work on it when I get home from my own soul-sucking savings and loan job, hahaha!

  5. 5
    whoochile
    Posted December 24, 2009 at 6:10 am

    Crabby, you are hysterical! This recap is gold. I’ve never been a fan of this movie, it never clicked for me and now I know why!!! You totally pointed out all the things that don’t really make any sense.
    Can’t wait for page 13.

  6. 6
    ohionancy
    Posted December 24, 2009 at 10:20 am

    I love this movie & your recap was great but I can’t wait for the last page. No matter how many times I’ve seen it when that brother makes his toast at the end I cry every time – I may cry now thinking about it – I’m such a wuss!

    I think it’s hilarious your Potter/Dick Chaney analogy. During the inauguration when Chaney was in the wheelchair all I could think of was “he looks like Old Man Potter”

    Just as a trivia tidbit – the Jew Mary was talking to at the dance was Alfalfa from the Little Rascals.

    Have a great holiday!!

  7. 7
    pixielated
    Posted December 24, 2009 at 7:00 pm

    Yeah, hutchlover, I know that the FDIC didn’t exist until after the Depression. Also, before the FHA, HUD, etc., ordinary people could not get mortgages unless there was a building and loan company in their town.

    Fire@will probably thinks those were the GOOD old days. When poor people knew their places.

    And the reason we are in the mess we are now is BECAUSE of people like Potter, or his lookalike Dick Cheney, who got us into this wonderful war that was supposed to give us an endless supply of cheap oil and enrich Halliburton immeasurably (well, it did do that).

  8. 8
    thatswhatshesaid
    Posted December 25, 2009 at 8:54 pm

    This was hilarious! I love you!!! “Is that Jerry’s Puffy Shirt?” Great line! I enjoyed this movie the one time I saw it, but I was confused by a lot of things. Your recap pointed out a lot of the same things, so I’m glad it wasn’t just me. Thanks for the good work! Can’t wait for page 13!

  9. 9
    Tvsnarkeling
    Posted December 28, 2010 at 1:06 pm

    Love the recap with such a Republican spin. No wonder this will never be shown on a FOX channel

    The taxi drive an cop (on pg 4)are named Bert and Ernie. Cracks me up everytime I hear it

  10. 10
    hutchlover
    Posted December 28, 2010 at 3:58 pm

    TVsnarkeling, Bert & ERnie from Sesame Street were named after B&E from “It’s a Wonderful LIfe”.

  11. 11
    hot cawfee
    Posted December 26, 2012 at 6:53 am

    One of my most fave movies ever!!!! I cry at the beginning when everyone is praying for George esp. the kids. I cry when Mary whispers “Geoerge Bailey I’ll love you till the day I die”
    sigh………back to reading

  12. 12
    Aunt Dorsey
    Posted December 30, 2012 at 2:54 am

    I always hated that movie, bunch of treacle. Enjoyed your re-cap much more.

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