“Something happens here you’ll have to remember for later on,” the voice tells Clarence. Boy after boy flies down the hill safely until George announces his kid brother, Harry, who says he’s not scared. To quote Yoda, you will be Harry, you WILL BE. Harry skids across the ice and right into a flowing river that wasn’t there when everyone else came down. Maybe the river’s there now because the bowels of hell opened and melted the ice?
Harry screams for help and George jumps right into the water. The boys create a chain and bring them both back to safety. Voice tells us that George saved Harry’s life that day but caught a bad cold that gave him an ear infection that cost him the hearing in his left ear. Or maybe like my parents’ dog, he’s only selectively listening to people.
Voice says it was weeks before George could go back to his after-school job at Old Man Gower’s drug store. We see George and his friends with baseball gloves walking through town and the scene is clearly in the middle of summer. How fast do the seasons change in Bedford Falls? Looks like global warming started there.
As George and his friends are walking through town, they see Old Man Potter ride by in his horse-drawn gold-encrusted carriage. Clarence asks if that’s a king. “That’s Henry Potter, the richest and meanest man in the county,” Voice says. Man, every county has one, don’t they?
Or is it Queen Victoria? Let’s take a closer look…
…no, it’s evil Mr. Potter.
George enters the drug store and says hello to Old Man Gower. “You’re late!” Gower says. Always with the glass half-full, Mr. Gower. Also, you look like a crazed homeless man which probably doesn’t instill a lot of confidence in your customers. No, wait, you’re just drunk. That’s what I like in my pharmacist!
A young brunette girl is sitting at the counter when another girl, a blonde, walks in. Fight! FIGHT! Blonde girl drips honey as she says hello to George, then says hello to Mary like Mary’s a leper. Well, she is brunette. Mary, looking like she doesn’t care, says, “Hello Violet.” Ah, Violet. We’ve established who the whore is.
Violet needs two cents worth of shoelaces, probably for auto-erotic asphyxiation, and she tells Mary she likes George. “You like every boy,” Mary says. “What’s wrong with that?” Violet asks. Nothing, except you start looking like Colin Farrell in female form. Violet gets her laces and leaves.
Mary tells George she wants a chocolate ice cream and he asks if she wants coconut. She says she doesn’t like coconut. He can’t believe she doesn’t like coconuts (it’s like mushrooms or chiropractors – you either love them or hate them, there’s no middle ground). He calls her brainless which totally turns her on, and tells her where coconuts come as he just read about it in National Geographic. Thanks, Poindexter.