It’s a Wonderful Life – PSYCH!

Recaps

By DearCrabby | Tuesday, December 25, 2012 | 6:00 am | 12 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , ,
Posted in: Christmas Specials, Featured, Recaps

Mary leans over and asks him if this is the ear he can’t hear out of, which clearly he can’t because he’s not paying attention to you. “George Bailey, I’ll love you ’til the day I die,” Mary says. He just called you brainless – aren’t you setting yourself up for an abusive relationship there, Mary?

George tells Mary he’s going exploring when he gets older and will have both harems and wives. Apparently George is becoming a Mormon. Or a Duggar. George dumps a litterbox full of shaved coconut onto Mary’s chocolate ice cream and whistles loudly. Old Man Gower screams that George isn’t paid to be a canary, although it’s hard to understand what he says because he’s chewing on the oldest, fattest cigar ever. Worst pharmacist ever!

George looks down on the cash register and sees a telegram that reads, “We regret to inform you that your son Robert died very suddenly this morning of influenza.” It’s from Gower’s son’s school and I’m wondering if it would have killed them to call? Also, if the pharmacist at the school was anything like Gower, I think we all know how poor Robert really died.

Life 122209-7.JPG

Yeah, I think I’ll stick to Walgreens, thanks.

George gives Mary her ice cream and goes to check on Gower who is putting some pills in a bottle. Hope he mixed them himself! He tells George to take the pills to some lady but George realizes that Gower put something wrong in the pills…it’s like he has rat poison or something in a great big jar like we all do. George tries to tell Gower but is sent on his way. As he puts on his newsboy cap, he sees a sign in the window of a man smoking that reads, “Ask Dad, he knows.” We’ll see.

George heads over to the Bailey Brothers Building and Loan and sees Old Man Potter’s carriage out front. Why doesn’t he have a car? Didn’t they have them in 1919? George tries to go into his father’s office but his Uncle Billy stops him. Luckily, the bank examiner calls and like a shiny object catches Uncle Billy’s attention. He looks down at his hand that has pieces of string tied around two fingers and says, “I was supposed to call him yesterday.” Yes, now I feel much more secure about this man running a Building and LOAN.

George heads into his father’s office and hears Old Man Potter being a total dick telling Bailey Sr. to put pressure on people to pay their mortgages. Wait, that’s not being a dick, that’s being a good business person. Doyee. Bailey Sr. tells Potter a lot of people are out of work and Potter tells Bailey Sr. to foreclose. “Some of these people have children,” Bailey Sr. says. Then foreclose faster, I say! Potter’s like, “They’re not my children.” Do I see eye-to-eye with Old Man Potter? Unnerving and comforting at the same time.

Life 122209-8.JPG

Potter says WNAAAAHHH!

Pages: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18

A Food Network host wannabe and travel fanatic (only three more continents to go!) , Dear Crabby lived in Chicago for over 10 years before returning to her native Ohio. She loves black martinis, blue cheese burgers, and The Daily Show. A two-time Chicago marathon finisher, she heartily dislikes Smokey Smokersons, slow drivers in the passing lane, and noisy children, especially when they ruin a fine dining experience or a trip to Target. A nouveau spinster, Dear Crabby spends her free time with her Cocker Spaniels and often goes by the pseudonym “Mrs. Clooney.”

12 Comments

  1. 1
    pixielated
    Posted December 23, 2009 at 1:58 pm

    Oh, Crabby, hilarious as usual.

    But didn’t you know that banks don’t have the money that you deposited? It’s kind of like a Ponzi scheme: they trust that not everybody is going to want to get their money out at the same time, so they will have enough to cover the people who do. That’s also what FDIC (Federal Deposit Insurance) is for, to protect people from bank runs and failures. And don’t ever ask about checking!

    Merry Christmas!

  2. 2
    fire@will
    Posted December 23, 2009 at 6:08 pm

    If the Potters (less Harry) had prevailed, we would not be in the financial mess we’re in today.

    Great (fun) recap, but it seems to be missing at least one page (I only get 12)…

  3. 3
    hutchlover
    Posted December 23, 2009 at 7:15 pm

    Pixie’s got the right idea, but prior to the stock market crash (v. 1.0), there was no FDIC. That was one of the things created by the stock market crash (v. 1.0) once Roosevelt (v. 2.0) got into office.

    I love these Christmas recaps, but I must say that this is one of the best Christmas movies ever. Don’t ask me why since it’s so depressing.

  4. 4
    dearcrabby
    Posted December 24, 2009 at 5:57 am

    Yes, one page seems to be missing! I will work on it when I get home from my own soul-sucking savings and loan job, hahaha!

  5. 5
    whoochile
    Posted December 24, 2009 at 6:10 am

    Crabby, you are hysterical! This recap is gold. I’ve never been a fan of this movie, it never clicked for me and now I know why!!! You totally pointed out all the things that don’t really make any sense.
    Can’t wait for page 13.

  6. 6
    ohionancy
    Posted December 24, 2009 at 10:20 am

    I love this movie & your recap was great but I can’t wait for the last page. No matter how many times I’ve seen it when that brother makes his toast at the end I cry every time – I may cry now thinking about it – I’m such a wuss!

    I think it’s hilarious your Potter/Dick Chaney analogy. During the inauguration when Chaney was in the wheelchair all I could think of was “he looks like Old Man Potter”

    Just as a trivia tidbit – the Jew Mary was talking to at the dance was Alfalfa from the Little Rascals.

    Have a great holiday!!

  7. 7
    pixielated
    Posted December 24, 2009 at 7:00 pm

    Yeah, hutchlover, I know that the FDIC didn’t exist until after the Depression. Also, before the FHA, HUD, etc., ordinary people could not get mortgages unless there was a building and loan company in their town.

    Fire@will probably thinks those were the GOOD old days. When poor people knew their places.

    And the reason we are in the mess we are now is BECAUSE of people like Potter, or his lookalike Dick Cheney, who got us into this wonderful war that was supposed to give us an endless supply of cheap oil and enrich Halliburton immeasurably (well, it did do that).

  8. 8
    thatswhatshesaid
    Posted December 25, 2009 at 8:54 pm

    This was hilarious! I love you!!! “Is that Jerry’s Puffy Shirt?” Great line! I enjoyed this movie the one time I saw it, but I was confused by a lot of things. Your recap pointed out a lot of the same things, so I’m glad it wasn’t just me. Thanks for the good work! Can’t wait for page 13!

  9. 9
    Tvsnarkeling
    Posted December 28, 2010 at 1:06 pm

    Love the recap with such a Republican spin. No wonder this will never be shown on a FOX channel

    The taxi drive an cop (on pg 4)are named Bert and Ernie. Cracks me up everytime I hear it

  10. 10
    hutchlover
    Posted December 28, 2010 at 3:58 pm

    TVsnarkeling, Bert & ERnie from Sesame Street were named after B&E from “It’s a Wonderful LIfe”.

  11. 11
    hot cawfee
    Posted December 26, 2012 at 6:53 am

    One of my most fave movies ever!!!! I cry at the beginning when everyone is praying for George esp. the kids. I cry when Mary whispers “Geoerge Bailey I’ll love you till the day I die”
    sigh………back to reading

  12. 12
    Aunt Dorsey
    Posted December 30, 2012 at 2:54 am

    I always hated that movie, bunch of treacle. Enjoyed your re-cap much more.

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