“Are you running a business or a charity ward?” Potter asks. He does have a point. He’s like the Chase bank of today. Bailey Sr. asks Potter why he’s such a miserable old bastard – he doesn’t have any family and he can’t spend all the money he has. Maybe he hires whores? Where’s Violet?
Potter calls Bailey Sr. a failure and George comes to his father’s defense. “My father’s bigger than you,” he says, which is kind of rude since Potter’s in a wheelchair and by default is smaller than Bailey Sr. George is shoved out of his father’s office and is back on his own to make his decision to take the poison pills to the lady. He should go to the school yard and tell everyone it’s ecstasy. He could make some cool cash AND get rid of the bullies all in one fell swoop. God, I miss junior high.
Back at the pharmacy, Mary is still at the counter (get a life!) and we hear Gower yelling into the phone that George should have been there an hour ago. Busted! He grabs George and begins to slap him around. Oh, child labor laws, you ruined all the fun! He hits George in his ear and it begins to bleed. Maybe George lost his hearing due to the infection because Gower gave him the wrong medicine! Dammit!
George cries and tells Gower that he put poison in the pills by accident. He knows Gower is feeling bad about his son dying and he didn’t pay attention to the pills. Gower takes a quick taste of the pill and realizes George is right. He hugs George and George swears he won’t tell a soul about what Gower did. It’s like he’s an alter boy! The only problem is that Mary hears this whole thing and you know women can’t keep secrets. We just can’t. Expect this to be all over town by nightfall.
Next, we see George Bailey as an adult as he’s measuring a fish – no, he’s asking for a suitcase THIS BIG. George says he wants a big suitcase so he can put labels all over it. “Italy, Bagdad…” he says. What the hell? Bagdad? Did George enlist in a war we will never win? Crap!
Fish, suitcase, or penis…let me assure you this is a lie.
The sales guy pull out a large suitcase and says, “I don’t suppose you’d like this second hand job?” Did he get a first? Lucky bastard. George loves it but wants to know what it costs. There’s no charge! Why? Because Old Man Gower bought it for him – bought his silence if you ask me. George heads over to the pharmacy and tells Gower, “Thanks for the baggage.” Yeah, it’s going to take years of therapy to get rid of it.
While talking to the taxi driver and a police officer, George sees Violet sashaying down the sidewalk and tells her she looks nice. She looks like Madonna in Shanghai Surprise. Violet flips her hair and all the men look after her. Probably because they’ve all had her.
Not tonight, boys. I need to go meet Sean Penn then leave him
to have very hairy children.