It’s a Wonderful Life – PSYCH!

Recaps

By DearCrabby | Tuesday, December 25, 2012 | 6:00 am | 12 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , ,
Posted in: Christmas Specials, Featured, Recaps

Back at the Bailey household, Bailey Sr. is sitting at the dining room table under a lamp that is hanging from the ceiling and bobbing back and forth. Ma Bailey yells, “George! Harry! You’re shaking the house, now stop it!” Wow, they must be really close. “Let them alone,” Bailey Sr. says. “I wish I were up there with them.” So that’s how it is in their house.

The stereotypical black maid says, “That’s why all children should be girls.” Even Ma Bailey doesn’t have the energy to explain this to Maid. Instead, she calls George and Harry downstairs for dinner. An invisible dog barks. Harry chases Maid and she threatens to hit him with a broom. He says, “I love you and there’s a moon out tonight,” then as he chases her into the kitchen he smacks her ass. Lawsuit!

George and Bailey Sr. have a nice conversation about how Bailey Sr. looks tired, he had another “tussle” with Old Man Potter (this town is so gay!) and how Potter is sick in his mind and soul if he has one.

Life 122209-16.JPG

He doesn’t.

Harry takes off and Bailey Sr. tells him no gin tonight. Does he mean the drink or card game? It’s hard to tell with this family. Harry tells George he hopes he can make it over for the graduation party – turns out George has held down the fort at the Building and Loan for four years to save up money for college and the trip he’s about to take. Now it’s Harry’s turn to work before college. Sucks to be you!

George tells his dad he wants to build things and do great things and Bailey Sr. asks if he’d be willing to come back to the Building and Loan. George is like f#ck that noise old man, why would I want to fight soulless Potter and make no money? Which, how do they not make money? They are like Trump and his casino. You think it’s impossible for a casino to lose money, but here we are.

George tells his dad he wants to do something big and something important. Then I would highly recommend being a stock broker for an orphanage. Bailey Sr. says helping people get homes is important but George thinks differently and if he doesn’t get away, he’ll bust. Then George tells Bailey Sr. he’s a great guy. Aww, what a nice moment they are sharing.

George decides to go to Harry’s graduation party and it turns out we’re in 1928 now, right before the economy went bust. Or maybe it’s 2008? Hard to tell. George runs into an old friend, Sam Wainwright, who does this bloody annoying “Hee-ha” noise that makes me want to punch him. The principal (or something) of the school welcomes George and tells him putting a floor over the pool was a great idea. It wasn’t George’s idea, dude.

Life 122209-11.JPG

Shut the Hee-ha up or I’ll shut it for you!

Pages: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18

A Food Network host wannabe and travel fanatic (only three more continents to go!) , Dear Crabby lived in Chicago for over 10 years before returning to her native Ohio. She loves black martinis, blue cheese burgers, and The Daily Show. A two-time Chicago marathon finisher, she heartily dislikes Smokey Smokersons, slow drivers in the passing lane, and noisy children, especially when they ruin a fine dining experience or a trip to Target. A nouveau spinster, Dear Crabby spends her free time with her Cocker Spaniels and often goes by the pseudonym “Mrs. Clooney.”

12 Comments

  1. 1
    pixielated
    Posted December 23, 2009 at 1:58 pm

    Oh, Crabby, hilarious as usual.

    But didn’t you know that banks don’t have the money that you deposited? It’s kind of like a Ponzi scheme: they trust that not everybody is going to want to get their money out at the same time, so they will have enough to cover the people who do. That’s also what FDIC (Federal Deposit Insurance) is for, to protect people from bank runs and failures. And don’t ever ask about checking!

    Merry Christmas!

  2. 2
    fire@will
    Posted December 23, 2009 at 6:08 pm

    If the Potters (less Harry) had prevailed, we would not be in the financial mess we’re in today.

    Great (fun) recap, but it seems to be missing at least one page (I only get 12)…

  3. 3
    hutchlover
    Posted December 23, 2009 at 7:15 pm

    Pixie’s got the right idea, but prior to the stock market crash (v. 1.0), there was no FDIC. That was one of the things created by the stock market crash (v. 1.0) once Roosevelt (v. 2.0) got into office.

    I love these Christmas recaps, but I must say that this is one of the best Christmas movies ever. Don’t ask me why since it’s so depressing.

  4. 4
    dearcrabby
    Posted December 24, 2009 at 5:57 am

    Yes, one page seems to be missing! I will work on it when I get home from my own soul-sucking savings and loan job, hahaha!

  5. 5
    whoochile
    Posted December 24, 2009 at 6:10 am

    Crabby, you are hysterical! This recap is gold. I’ve never been a fan of this movie, it never clicked for me and now I know why!!! You totally pointed out all the things that don’t really make any sense.
    Can’t wait for page 13.

  6. 6
    ohionancy
    Posted December 24, 2009 at 10:20 am

    I love this movie & your recap was great but I can’t wait for the last page. No matter how many times I’ve seen it when that brother makes his toast at the end I cry every time – I may cry now thinking about it – I’m such a wuss!

    I think it’s hilarious your Potter/Dick Chaney analogy. During the inauguration when Chaney was in the wheelchair all I could think of was “he looks like Old Man Potter”

    Just as a trivia tidbit – the Jew Mary was talking to at the dance was Alfalfa from the Little Rascals.

    Have a great holiday!!

  7. 7
    pixielated
    Posted December 24, 2009 at 7:00 pm

    Yeah, hutchlover, I know that the FDIC didn’t exist until after the Depression. Also, before the FHA, HUD, etc., ordinary people could not get mortgages unless there was a building and loan company in their town.

    Fire@will probably thinks those were the GOOD old days. When poor people knew their places.

    And the reason we are in the mess we are now is BECAUSE of people like Potter, or his lookalike Dick Cheney, who got us into this wonderful war that was supposed to give us an endless supply of cheap oil and enrich Halliburton immeasurably (well, it did do that).

  8. 8
    thatswhatshesaid
    Posted December 25, 2009 at 8:54 pm

    This was hilarious! I love you!!! “Is that Jerry’s Puffy Shirt?” Great line! I enjoyed this movie the one time I saw it, but I was confused by a lot of things. Your recap pointed out a lot of the same things, so I’m glad it wasn’t just me. Thanks for the good work! Can’t wait for page 13!

  9. 9
    Tvsnarkeling
    Posted December 28, 2010 at 1:06 pm

    Love the recap with such a Republican spin. No wonder this will never be shown on a FOX channel

    The taxi drive an cop (on pg 4)are named Bert and Ernie. Cracks me up everytime I hear it

  10. 10
    hutchlover
    Posted December 28, 2010 at 3:58 pm

    TVsnarkeling, Bert & ERnie from Sesame Street were named after B&E from “It’s a Wonderful LIfe”.

  11. 11
    hot cawfee
    Posted December 26, 2012 at 6:53 am

    One of my most fave movies ever!!!! I cry at the beginning when everyone is praying for George esp. the kids. I cry when Mary whispers “Geoerge Bailey I’ll love you till the day I die”
    sigh………back to reading

  12. 12
    Aunt Dorsey
    Posted December 30, 2012 at 2:54 am

    I always hated that movie, bunch of treacle. Enjoyed your re-cap much more.

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