It’s a Wonderful Life – PSYCH!

Recaps

By DearCrabby | Tuesday, December 25, 2012 | 6:00 am | 12 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , ,
Posted in: Christmas Specials, Featured, Recaps

George finally gets to Mary’s house and seems to have trouble deciding on whether or not he wants to come in. What adorable banter, snore. Mary turns on the victrola to play “Buffalo Girls” and she puts a picture of George lassoing the moon on an easel. What a weird girl. George is in no mood for nostalgia.

Life 122209-21.JPG

Did she commission that? Or is it a real Picasso?

Mary’s mother asks what George is doing there and Mary yells up the stairs, “He’s making violent love to me, Mother!” Wow, that seems very HBO for this era. Her mother reminds her that Sam Wainwright is going to call her later, then Mary and George get into a huge fight over nothing (get used to that if you get married) and George leaves. Mary smashes the record Keith Moon-style and answers the phone.

George returns because he forgot his hat and Mary totally plays up the call with Sam. “Hee-ha HELLO SAM,” she says. Knock off that hee-ha bullshit already! Mary’s tone makes George jealous and Mary tells Sam he’s there. Sam wants to talk with the both of them (“Hee-ha, put him on!”), so they have to squish close together to listen on the same ear thingy.

We cut over to Sam being massaged by a woman in a fur as he asks George if he’s trying to steal Mary from him. You’re a total two-timing douche, Sam. Mary begins to cry a little as they listen in to what Sam is saying. He wants them to invest in soybeans! Or his pyramid scheme! I’m not really sure.

Mary and George are listening but keep stealing looks at each other as Sam tells them his get-rich-quick scheme. Mary looks at George, George looks at Mary, drops the phone, grabs her violently and shakes her like a newborn while he screams he doesn’t want to work in plastics or for Sam or for the man or get married and Mary starts to cry because clearly George is nuts. Then he hugs her passionately and kisses her face. Schexy!

Life 122209-22.JPG

Censors! Censors!

Sometime later, Mary and George come running down the stairs of Ma Bailey’s house after getting married and Mary throws the bouquet – don’t catch it! It’s a trap! They head outside where it is pouring down rain and take off in the “Just Married” taxi. They begin to make out and the taxi driver says, “If either of you two see a stranger around here, it’s me.” How about some shut the hell up with your wedding cake?

Suddenly the taxi driver sees some commotion and stops the cab. Something ain’t going right at the Building and Loan, per usual, and my first question is why did George and Mary get married on a weekday since I’m assuming the banks weren’t open on the weekends back then – even so, why wouldn’t they have closed for George’s wedding?

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A Food Network host wannabe and travel fanatic (only three more continents to go!) , Dear Crabby lived in Chicago for over 10 years before returning to her native Ohio. She loves black martinis, blue cheese burgers, and The Daily Show. A two-time Chicago marathon finisher, she heartily dislikes Smokey Smokersons, slow drivers in the passing lane, and noisy children, especially when they ruin a fine dining experience or a trip to Target. A nouveau spinster, Dear Crabby spends her free time with her Cocker Spaniels and often goes by the pseudonym “Mrs. Clooney.”

12 Comments

  1. 1
    pixielated
    Posted December 23, 2009 at 1:58 pm

    Oh, Crabby, hilarious as usual.

    But didn’t you know that banks don’t have the money that you deposited? It’s kind of like a Ponzi scheme: they trust that not everybody is going to want to get their money out at the same time, so they will have enough to cover the people who do. That’s also what FDIC (Federal Deposit Insurance) is for, to protect people from bank runs and failures. And don’t ever ask about checking!

    Merry Christmas!

  2. 2
    fire@will
    Posted December 23, 2009 at 6:08 pm

    If the Potters (less Harry) had prevailed, we would not be in the financial mess we’re in today.

    Great (fun) recap, but it seems to be missing at least one page (I only get 12)…

  3. 3
    hutchlover
    Posted December 23, 2009 at 7:15 pm

    Pixie’s got the right idea, but prior to the stock market crash (v. 1.0), there was no FDIC. That was one of the things created by the stock market crash (v. 1.0) once Roosevelt (v. 2.0) got into office.

    I love these Christmas recaps, but I must say that this is one of the best Christmas movies ever. Don’t ask me why since it’s so depressing.

  4. 4
    dearcrabby
    Posted December 24, 2009 at 5:57 am

    Yes, one page seems to be missing! I will work on it when I get home from my own soul-sucking savings and loan job, hahaha!

  5. 5
    whoochile
    Posted December 24, 2009 at 6:10 am

    Crabby, you are hysterical! This recap is gold. I’ve never been a fan of this movie, it never clicked for me and now I know why!!! You totally pointed out all the things that don’t really make any sense.
    Can’t wait for page 13.

  6. 6
    ohionancy
    Posted December 24, 2009 at 10:20 am

    I love this movie & your recap was great but I can’t wait for the last page. No matter how many times I’ve seen it when that brother makes his toast at the end I cry every time – I may cry now thinking about it – I’m such a wuss!

    I think it’s hilarious your Potter/Dick Chaney analogy. During the inauguration when Chaney was in the wheelchair all I could think of was “he looks like Old Man Potter”

    Just as a trivia tidbit – the Jew Mary was talking to at the dance was Alfalfa from the Little Rascals.

    Have a great holiday!!

  7. 7
    pixielated
    Posted December 24, 2009 at 7:00 pm

    Yeah, hutchlover, I know that the FDIC didn’t exist until after the Depression. Also, before the FHA, HUD, etc., ordinary people could not get mortgages unless there was a building and loan company in their town.

    Fire@will probably thinks those were the GOOD old days. When poor people knew their places.

    And the reason we are in the mess we are now is BECAUSE of people like Potter, or his lookalike Dick Cheney, who got us into this wonderful war that was supposed to give us an endless supply of cheap oil and enrich Halliburton immeasurably (well, it did do that).

  8. 8
    thatswhatshesaid
    Posted December 25, 2009 at 8:54 pm

    This was hilarious! I love you!!! “Is that Jerry’s Puffy Shirt?” Great line! I enjoyed this movie the one time I saw it, but I was confused by a lot of things. Your recap pointed out a lot of the same things, so I’m glad it wasn’t just me. Thanks for the good work! Can’t wait for page 13!

  9. 9
    Tvsnarkeling
    Posted December 28, 2010 at 1:06 pm

    Love the recap with such a Republican spin. No wonder this will never be shown on a FOX channel

    The taxi drive an cop (on pg 4)are named Bert and Ernie. Cracks me up everytime I hear it

  10. 10
    hutchlover
    Posted December 28, 2010 at 3:58 pm

    TVsnarkeling, Bert & ERnie from Sesame Street were named after B&E from “It’s a Wonderful LIfe”.

  11. 11
    hot cawfee
    Posted December 26, 2012 at 6:53 am

    One of my most fave movies ever!!!! I cry at the beginning when everyone is praying for George esp. the kids. I cry when Mary whispers “Geoerge Bailey I’ll love you till the day I die”
    sigh………back to reading

  12. 12
    Aunt Dorsey
    Posted December 30, 2012 at 2:54 am

    I always hated that movie, bunch of treacle. Enjoyed your re-cap much more.

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