TV Social
Recent Comments
- Knitwit: I found you
- Classy Drunk: Thanks for the prayer Spike!!! You never let us down!
- AliceinPopLand: I CAN ACCESS THE SITE!!!! yay! and my night in call center hell is now awesome!
- Peggies118: OMG! Poor little Mia! What a precious heart...
- annie: I was able to get an Avatar on Trash Talk TV (Butters!) here’s how I did it: 1. You make your profile 2. I...
- Clair: Maybe it stands for “Oh my GOSH Insider”….
- crazy rooster: Why wont it google the link? Take pity on lazy people. And post the link. I have ADD. What did I come...
- labowner: When I log in it takes me to my account page. How do I get it to go to TTTV? Fucking weird – passion...
- Kim: The name of this show is highly offensive-to use God’s name in an abbreviated form for the title of...
- itchy: Also, speaking personally, TVGasm has been HIGHLY DETRIMENTAL to my productivity. Fortunately I don’t have a...
- Knitwit: I found you
-
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
12:01 am
44 Comments
It’s summertime in New Jersey! And that means our favorite drains on society are on their way back to the shore where it all began. They’ve done Miami, but they’re ready to come and party with their own kind again. As is customary, we’re going to check in with each guido as they prepare to drive over to the shore house and get this party started.
“Do NOT touch my moisturizer, capiche?”
First stop is Snooki’s house. I guess we’re still pretending that these are your everyday anonymous kids next door because here is where Snooki lives, even though she’s a millionaire. And I believe it’s her parents’ house.
Perhaps the second single car garage was purchased with ball-drop money?
She’s busy gathering up her slut wear, poofing up her hair, and spray tanning her boobs with her little handheld tanner right there in the bathroom. It may be time to look into a Mystic Tan there, Snooks. I’m pretty sure you can afford it. Snooki has also apparently come into contact with a stylist, because her hair has some red in it and I for one really like what it does for her. Perhaps all that red makes her skin a little less shockingly orange? Not sure, but thumbs up. She can’t wait to get back to the shore house, pop some bottles and hook up with her roommates. Neither can we, Snooki. Neither can we. She gets into some hilariously tight outfit that is the last thing I would wear on a road trip, including hooker boots, and announces to the mirror that she looks like a prostitute, followed by an approving, “Sick!” And she’s off! She trips and stumbles her way to her car, thanks to the hooker boots, then speeds away toward Seaside Heights. Or to the end of the driveway where she stalls her car.
“You try pushing the clutch in hooker boots!”
Time to meet Deena!
“C’mere and meet me. I smell like meatballs.”
Deena is Angelina’s replacement since everyone on earth has had enough of Angelina. She is Snooki’s friend and duplicate and supposedly the other roommates have no idea she’s coming. Snooki drives to someplace called New Egypt, New Jersey to pick her up. Deena is the same shape and size as Snooki and is super excited to get a piece of the Jersey Shore action. Her parents are excited for her to take part in this mess as well, and stand out on the lawn encouraging both girls to “knock ‘em dead” at the Jersey Shore. Behavior begins at home, people. Deena uses a phrase I highly appreciate: guy shopping. That’s very accurate and sounds much nicer than “creeping.” Deena’s excited to commence guy shopping with Snooki. As they drive away Snooki begins to give Deena the rundown on each roommate, as if Deena isn’t as intimately familiar with all of them as we are. Please.
JWoww is next! She’s living in a modest home in Long Island, apparently with her boyfriend Tom, who is a cranky pants.
Ho-Clothes line not doing too well?
JWoww tells us that she and Tom definitely need a break cause they’ve had some serious fights lately. She seems a bit too excited to be getting away from her beloved.
DJ Pauly D! Also still at his parents’ house. His mom is ironing (probably Pauly D’s clothes) and wants to know if they ever clean the hot tub. He lies that they do.
“Oh, you kids are so cute!”
And here is The Situation, fresh from Dancing with the Stars humiliation, a book deal, and various endorsements earning him millions and yet still living at his parents’ house as well.
“Mom, did you buy Axe? I said to buy Axe!”
And he’s closing in on 30 if I’m not mistaken. I just looked it up – he’s 28! Whaaa? I would have guessed much older than that, just from how he looks. That just blew my mind.
Of course Vinny’s still at his mom’s house – meat doesn’t cut itself, you know. He has come prepared for Season 3 by purchasing himself a shower caddy so that no one messes with his toiletries. That sounds about right for a guido. I’m surprised Pauly D doesn’t have a locked safe for his hair products.
Right?
Here’s Ronnie, on his way to pick up Sammi. These two are right behind Speidi on the list of America’s most hated couples. They are so lame and uninteresting, but here they are, back for another season of sucking. Ronnie tells us they’ve been together for a year now and they’re going to celebrate. Yeah, it’s been such a joyous year. Ronnie comes from his parents’ house to pick up Sammi at her parents’ house and Sammi’s mom implores Ronnie to take care of her daughter. Don’t hold your breath, mom.
So each of our guidos kiss their parents goodbye and head over to the original shore house in Seaside Heights. Sammi and Ronnie get there first. Ronnie hopes Angelina’s not there and Sammi hopes JWoww’s not there. Shut up, Sammi.
Where’s the Italian flag? Too big of a target?
They’re stoked to be the first to arrive because that means they get first dibs on a bedroom. Oh good, here is their chance to have their own space and stay out of everyone’s hair. Right? Wrong. They pick a room with three beds. Um, who would want to stay in there with them all summer? Sammi says it wouldn’t be awkward. Yes it would, but more so, it would just be awful. They are the enemies of a good time.
JWoww arrives next, or Whorebag, as Sammi has taken to calling her. Ronnie tells Sammi to go upstairs so she won’t have to talk to her. JWoww walks upstairs, takes one look at Sammi, makes a disgusted noise and walks away. Exactly, JWoww.
“Take one more step and my boyfriend will take you down!”
Sammi is slightly distressed that Ronnie runs into the bathroom and leaves her alone with the “luggages.” Ronnie is such a freaking weenie. He ran into the bathroom? Really?
Yup. That sums it up.
Vinny’s here to relieve some of the awkward tension. Ronnie and Sammi invite him to share their room, with Sammi promising, “We won’t do anything.” Yeah except SUCK. Vinny points out that he wants to be able to bring girls home, etc., so there’s no way he’s sharing a room with those two. Pauly D arrives and he and Vinny decide to share a room… with Vinny’s shower caddy. Pauly D finds this to be very amusing.
As Snooki and Deena draw nearer to the shore house, Deena admits that she took some shots before joining Snooki in the car. She’s all, “Don’t tell anyone I’m drunk. I’m just going to walk in like I’m a good time.” So funny how when you’re buzzed you think that everyone’s going to find you so charming. You just FEEL charming, right? How could everyone else not see it?
“Snooki, you’re dressed like a prostitute! Right on!”
The roommies are slightly taken aback to learn that Deena is their new roommate. They’re all cordial, except for Sammi, who acts a bit too cool for school. Deena is going to room with Snooki and JWoww, which is hilarious because it means that Mike has to room with Sammi and Ronnie. HA! Won’t that be a sexy situation? Meanwhile Sammi starts to figure out that none of the girls are going to be her friend and it’s going to be her against the whole house, does Ronnie understand?
As the girls unpack Snooki and Deena compare vibrators, with Deena offering to share hers. Let the STD transmission begin! Snooki says she has Vinny in the house so she may not even need her vibrator, which is named Elmo.
Sitch pulls up in a Range Rover, announcing that the party is about to start. Then he learns where he’ll be sleeping. He’s not pleased. He wanted to have an MVP bedroom, but alas, he’s stuck with the Miserable Duo.
“I’d rather learn the jive again.”
The gang heads out to the patio for some grilling and Deena tries to make small talk with Sammi, asking her where she’s from since they’re both from Jersey. Sammi acts totally snotty and elusive, not saying what city she’s from and sticking her nose up in the air. Eventually Sammi just gets up and leaves, cementing the three against one status of the house girls. Later as the roommies chat, Deena announces that she’s a “walking holiday” and “a blast in a glass.” HA! Sitch says if she were a holiday she’d be Thanksgiving cause she’s got a lot to give and she’s down for a lot of stuffing. We’re back, ladies and gentlemen!
It’s time for the cast of Jersey Shore to earn their ridiculous salaries, so they bust out a game of Flip Cup.
Who needs writers when we spontaneously get this?
All except for Ronnie and Sammi, who lie on their twin beds and stare at the ceiling.
“Ronnie am I hot?”
“Kill me now.”
Sammi starts in on her usual babble, asking Ronnie what he would do if he were her right now. Meaning what would he do if he realized everyone in the house hated him? He’s all whipped and just tells her he’s there for her and they’ve come so far. Well that clears everything up. And I find it hilarious that these two call emotionally abusing each other then not breaking up “coming so far.”
Vinny, Snooki and Deena get in the hot tub and some issues come to the surface, and I don’t mean bacteria, I mean emotional issues. Snooki is mad that Vinny appears to be flirting with Deena, and then she lets us all know that in between seasons Vinny had sex with her friend Ryder. Interesting. Vinny’s flustered to be called out because he didn’t know it would be a problem for him to sleep with Ryder. See that’s the thing with girls. They can say it’s a no-strings-attached hook up, and maybe it is, but it still prohibits you from nailing their girlfriends. There are just lines you don’t cross. I guess. Everything gets blurry when you start banging your roommates, right? Deena senses the tension and evacuates the hot tub, leaving Snooki and Vinny to hash it out. Vinny says he never intended to hurt Snooki, so Snooki tries to kiss him, but he says he’s not going to hook up with her if it’s going to set boundaries on whom else he can get with. Snooki’s pissed and leaves. JWoww tells Vinny to “stick it one of the jet holes and go to bed.” That could be a plausible option. Not to mention much healthier than what he might run into on the boardwalk.
It looks like Vinny actually gave it a whirl.
Back on the patio, Deena starts asking where her “blast in a glass” hat is and Sitch offers to help her find it. Is this some sort of euphemism, or are these people just totally wasted already? They get to Deena’s room and she puts on various hats, then shows Sitch that she likes to go around in just her cowboy hat and bikini. So while trying to sexily slither out of her cover-up sundress thing, she accidentally pulls off her bikini bottoms and gives Sitch a peep show.
“I knew no one could resist this.”
Ladies take note. You don’t want to do this and here’s why: Sitch of course thinks this is an invitation to smoosh, but decides to be the bigger man and not take advantage of poor Deena on the first day. So see? You’d be giving Sitch the impression that he’s actually turning you down, when in fact, you just made a drunken error. And you know he’ll never let that go. He promises Deena that this little indiscretion will be just between the two of them. Then he immediately runs out on the patio and tells everyone. Deena honestly doesn’t seem very alarmed that her “kooka” has now been seen and filmed. Apparently it was bound to happen.
And here’s how I learned the correct spelling of “kooka.”
Sitch for some reason is slightly traumatized and retreats to his bedroom with Ronnie and Sammi to do some pensive reflecting. That’s smart since Sammi knows all about being traumatized. Deena doesn’t think the night should be over yet and she drunkenly stumbles over to Sitch’s bed to try to get him to stay up with her. He tells her she’s annoying and Sammi laughs. Look out. Deena’s all, “She’s laughing at me.” Sitch is all, “No she’s not.” Sammi’s all, “I definitely am!” So now Deena is drunk AND insulted. She tells Sammi that she came here not having a problem with Sammi, but now she does and so does everyone else in the house. She stumbles down the stairs calling Sammi the c-word. Hey it’s the same thing Ronnie called her when they first got to Miami, so now they should be bonded forever, right? They’ve come so far!
Deena is on the verge of hysteria, saying she never did anything wrong. As she gets more and more worked up Sitch comes down the stairs and tells her that it was very audacious for a rookie to call a veteran the c-word. Vinny (who graduated from college) goes, “What does audacious mean?” HA! LOL. That right there is why I love this show. Sitch tells Deena, “You are the blast from the past! Wait. The blast in a cup!” Deena just keeps yelling about Sammi laughing at her and making fun of her. Pauly D goes, “What holiday are you? Halloween?” OMG, they’re cracking me up! She’s drunk and furious and they just keep needling her about her nicknames for herself. So awesome.
Upstairs Ronnie and Sammi can hear every word, but not until Ronnie jumps out of bed does Sammi decide to follow him downstairs so she can hide behind him. Ronnie only got up because Deena said something about “go cuddle with your boyfriend,” so now he’s screaming at “DeAnna” not to get him involved. Deena totally backs down to Ronnie and tries to tell him she’s got nothing against him.
“I meant to say ‘hot sexy boyfriend,’ I think.”
Basically all Ronnie says is that he wants nothing to do with the fight and that Deena should work it out with Sammi. And Sammi thinks he’s there to defend her. Finally Sammi gets up to Deena and yells at her not to call her a c-word. Deena yells right back, saying, “first of all,” and “second of all,” and “you laughed at me for no reason!” Sitchy D sit comfortably on the couch, looking back and forth as the girls fight. These guys get the best seats in the house, I swear!
Popcorn? Peanuts?
Snooki takes a moment to tell us that we don’t want to piss of Deena like this. Because even though they’re small, she (Snooki) will attack you like a squirrel monkey. Angelina knows. Back in the fight, Snooki calmly says, “Sam, you are such a bitch. You are the biggest bitch I’ve ever met in my entire life. I don’t understand how you even have friends.” Sam’s response? “I’m here and I’m staying, whether you like it or not.” Then Sammi and Snooki start screaming at each other about what happened in Miami, you know, THE NOTE. At one point Sammi turns to Ronnie going, “Is she fake? Ron, do you think she’s fake?” Ron, who has his head between his knees, looks up long enough to say, “Yeah she’s fake.” Snooki yells that Ronnie’s mom asks her all the time why Ronnie’s dating such a bitch. To the camera she tells us that she just made that up about Ron’s mom, but Ron didn’t say a word in response. HA! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!
All of a sudden JWoww is involved and Sammi tells her to bring it cause she’ll pound her. So JWoww marches right up to Sammi and it’s so hilarious because they both totally flinch before they start really smacking each other. And we’re out.
Will we witness a squirrel monkey attack?
The previews for the season look freaking amazing! We have Snooki running hysterically up and down the boardwalk asking strangers where the beach is.
Classic.
We have JWoww breaking up with her boyfriend – will we finally get to see her Single on the Shore? We have Ronnie and Sammi fighting (snore) BUT, part of that includes Sammi punching Ronnie right in the face.
Look now – it may be blacked out when the episode airs.
It looks like Sammi leaves! Woohoo! And Snooki gets arrested. I believe this would include the charge of “annoying” people on the beach. Hey at least she found it.
So are you guys so totally excited for Season 3? HOLLA!!!
Thanks for reading!
-Honey Gangsta
44 Comments
Yay! Honey Gangsta is back! (sure you were never gone, but you were sentenced to recap Siberia in the form of Football Wives, much like Sully and Mike in Monsters, Inc.) Good to see you recapping something I actually enjoy watching..your talents won’t be wasted here!
All in all, this was a great first episode. Deena is a quintessential camera hog/whore, doing way too much, too soon. Then again, Snooki acted exactly the same way her first night in the house, stripping down to a leopard thong and hot-tubbing it with the guys while Angelina and Sammi laughed at her. It wasn’t until Snooki got decked in the face by a random dude that she cemented her bond with the others. So, basically, Deena just needs to withstand a macho uppercut at Karma, and all will be right with the world.
The timing of everything kind of screws the perspective a bit. I have to keep reminding myself of the timeline…Season 1 premiered in Winter of 2010 and after a few club appearances, the kids went to Miami (still winter/spring 2010) to start filming, and right from there, began filming season three in the summer of 2010. So, they probably didn’t make the bulk of their money until late summer 2010, until present. DWTS didn’t premiere until the Fall, so The Situation probably didn’t have those deals in the works yet.
Also, Sammi didn’t see footage of Ronnie’s antics before everyone returned to the Shore. No TV’s in the house and it hadn’t aired before season 3 began filming. So, she is going by what he said..’I only got a girl’s number.” He never admitted to kissing anyone and convinced Sammi that Snooki’s breakup with Emilio made her want to sabotage their happiness. (gag me with a spoon)
Word on the street is, the producers will show the cast season 2 episodes while still filming season 3, and this leads to Sammi’s meltdown and her leaving the Shore. (I believe she eventually comes back)
Here’s is an article from Aug 2010 (when they were filming sn 3) about Sammi leaving after she found out Ronnie made a fool of her on national TV. (I’d say he did that season one, but what do I know?)
http://www.thehollywoodgossip.com/2010/08/sammi-giancola-leaves-jersey-shore-after-finally-learning-about/
@HG: I think kooka is actually spelled, “cuca.” It is a vulgar term for vagina amongst Dominicans and Colombians. One of my Colombian friends would say if his friend is really tired, “Que pasa? Duele la cuca?” (What’s up..did you beat up the pussy?)
I’m guessing no one at MTV (or the FCC) speaks Spanish because it’s not been censored…and I love them for that!
How can someone coin the phrase, “Blast in a glass”, when they only drink from Solo cups?
Sarcasatire: Obsessed much?
I found the episode pretty boring. Except that, every time the Sitch worked the word “situation” into a sentence (only about 50,000 times), I kept hearing: “What’chu talkin’ ’bout Willis?”
Any episode that ends with two guidettes clawing each other’s eyes out can hardly be classified as boring. Sure, Flip Cup and Vinnie’s love triangle made me yawn, but I’ll admit..I was happy to see the kids back in action!
Continuity alert! Did anyone notice how Sammi came downstairs with her hair loose but when she started arguing with Snooki, it was up in a ponytail? Like she knew she was about to fight. Do you think she and JWOWW had time to smear their faces with vaseline?
I read that the original plan for season 2 was for them to be in Miami for the first half of the season and then back on the Jersey Shore for the second half of the season. But when they started editing, they realized they had enough from Miami to make it a season unto itself. So they really did go right from Miami to the Shore.
Sammi IS a miserable CUNT! I am so sick of see these two. He’s a roid case and She always looks like she’s smelling shit, which I’m sure is exactly how Ron smells. I loved how she acted disappointed that Deena wasn’t hot, who’s that bitch kidding she would of been so pissed off if the new girl was better looking than her. I only wish Snookis friend was a super hot asian girl. I really hope Jwoww beats that permanent scowl off Sams face, but sadly it looks like it might be a drawl. Great recap btw.
I was so excited for this recap HG. When I saw that it was up this morning, I did a little dance. Your recaps alone have made me watch this show and LOVE it.
I really hope Sammi leaves. She gained about half an inch of respect when she clocked Ronnie but then lost it when she punched J-WoWW. I hope J-WoWW nails her a good one. Make her bleed!!! I am normally not a violent person but Sammi is such C-U-Next Tuesday I pray for her to fall to a J-WoWW punch.
My question about Sammi not being aware of Ronnie’s antics is this: what about the after shows / reunions? Didn’t she find out then? Also, at the very least, wouldn’t her friends and family tell her? I have a hard time believing she didn’t know about all this until THIS season. Plus I saw a picture on Twitter of them together in Christmas so it’s not like she learns a lesson or anything, which is good, because I HATE when reality TV shoves their life lessons down my throat.
Great recap HG! I was really looking forward to it! – it seemed like MTV gave them all bmw’s to drive to the shore, they all had one except Mike and Pauly I think – I want a BMW so badly and it hurt my heart a little to see Snookies look like Ed hardy through up inside of it (I thought Ed hardy was pretty much done? Even in Guido land! Lol)…HG it totally looked like VInny took JWowws advice with the hot tub jet, I noticed thAt too!…Sammi is just super annoying this season, she used to be my favorite in season 1, now not so much…I don’t even see why she and Ronnie are there (oh I forgot, money)…can’t wait for the next ep!
Great Recap HG – I am so glad you can translate when the arguing begins because Pauly D’s line – “What holiday are you – Halloween?” I totally missed during the episode but glad I caught it on the re-cap!
I agree @Sarcas that Deena/Deanna is trying waaay to hard. Not terribly annoying at the moment but she needs to pull it back.
Loved the Speidi vs Rammi as America’s most annoying couple reference.
Question – how does Ronnie seem to managed to treat his girls like shit, put all the roomies in an uncomfortable SITUATION, get outted in “The Note”, spin lies to all, call Snook fake (after Sammi made him in this episode) and still be loved by the cast? Sammi is a FOOL/Snooty Bitch but Ronnie is a Manipulative Asshat who has them all under his spell.
Go JWOWW – beat down Sammi and be single and mingle!
I wouldn’t be surprised if none of these lunkheads have tried, or even considered, getting new homes. Especially since most of them live at home and are probably just as used to mothers who pick up after them as Vinny is. They wouldn’t just have to buy a new home, they’d need to buy new Mommies to live with them and cook for them and do their laundry and grocery shopping, because without help these people would be living in a trash heap within a week.
Plus, I remember reading that after “Good Will Hunting” that Matt Damon was, for all intents and purposes, homeless for a year and just either couch-surfed or lived in hotels. If someone as smart as Damon could find sudden fame so overwhelming that he couldn’t focus long enough to buy a new home, you think these meatheads aren’t? Especially after spending the better part of this last year in an alcoholic haze?
But I’d venture to guess that Pauly’s mom just came to his apartment to send him off. It was tiny and there was an Italian flag hanging on the back of the front door like it was a dorm room. She looked like more of a free spirit than the other parents on this show, but I don’t think she’s that immature. After all, Pauly is the only one who came into the show with a legitimate career that he could continue, and grow, after the show.
And I have one bit of advice for Sammi, she’d find it a lot easier to get along with the other women in the house if she didn’t constantly look like she smelled a fart whenever one of them spoke to her. And to not be such a stank bitch.
What, you don’t consider JWowww’s balloon-tits (and stupid nickname) a legitimate career?
Pardon the pun, but she is milking those boobs for all they’re worth, so I stand corrected.
@sarcasatire Are you sure you’re not an international gynecologist? You seem to know alot about cooches.
This was my first time watching. I admit I may have to see a few more epis of these trainwreck kids. Why IS Sammi such a bitch? Did someone do something to her? I wondered the same thing about the vaseline. It still amazes me that women get in physical smack down fights. And I totally missed the vibrator bit. Thanks for the thorough recap HG.
It took all of seven minutes for Sammi to tell us how traumatized she was by Miami. That bitch needs a clue. Seriously how does Ronnie come out of this smelling like roses when he is clearly the biggest d-bag of them all?
Looking forward to this season, you know, aside from the Rammi bullshit!
It seems kind of odd to me that Snooki got mad at Vinnie for sleeping with Ryder and “flirting” with Deena. Isn’t it kind of girl code not so sleep with your friend’s hook up? She should be getting mad at the girls. Maybe it’s setting it up that Deena and Snooki have a falling out eventually…who knows? I totally hate Sammi too, if she had put forward a little effort in the beginning maybe they could have mended their friendship, esp after Sammi had seen that Snooki and J-Woww were telling the truth about Ronnie! PS: Thanks for the recap HG!
I was super-duper impressed when Snooki, as you so aptly put it HG, calmly told Sammi she was a bitch and couldn’t understand how she had friends. I’m such a fan of the rational smackdown. And then she ruined it by starting to yell that she’s a “slutty-ass bitch” because a.) Sam hasn’t been that slutty (that we’ve seen) and b.) that’s when insults start to sound stupid and unintelligent. BUT if it hadn’t escalated then we wouldn’t be entertained, so I guess it’s a draw.
Also, in the previews (I watched it more than once to seem Sam punch Ron….ouch. But we all know it doesn’t mean anything) there’s a part where there are three girls sliding down the stairs. Two are obviously Snooki and Deena, and I SWEAR the other one is Sammi. I even paused my DVR – don’t judge me. So perhaps a mending of wounds is forthcoming?
Snooki may have been going out the gorilla that wanted to marry her when Vinnie and Ryder hooked up. They could have straight up asked her if it was cool and she said OK.
Maybe she doesn’t remember.
Maybe she didn’t understand them.
Maybe she didn’t hear them asking or talking about hooking up.
She’s DRUNK most of the time folks. Shit she was drunk when she had the little tantrum.
Watching this show makes me glad that I am too old to drink like this anymore and makes my but clench that all of my kids are right there doing the same dumbass drama drinking.
Fantastic recap HG! I’m glad you’re back to doing JS. @sarcasatire, thanks for the article link. The best thing about it was the comments. Doesn’t anybody know how to spell anymore? Some of the comments were so ridiculous that it took me a few minutes to decipher them lol. I hate Sammi and hope she really does leave. It’s girls like her that make guys like Ronnie think it’s okay to treat girls badly. During the fight when Ronnie said that he’d wished that Angelina had come back, I was thinking the same thing but in place of Sammi, not because of Deena. Also, I kinda feel a little bad for Deena(don’t make fun of me please!)because come on, who hasn’t been in a situation(sorry lol) where you’re with a group of people that are all friends and you’re the odd person out? It’s easy when you’re young to drink too much and act a fool when you’re not feeling comfortable. the fact that she was drinking before she even left home shows that she was nervous about what she was getting into.
@ Sarcas, I thought “beat up the pussy” meant a hard, violent fuck that made a woman intensely ejaculate.
The only time I find Sammi tolerable is when someone is punching her in the face.
Also, I’m fairly certain that whoever gave her the nickname, “Sweetheart” was being sarcastic.
@2muchbravo: Well, my international friends are immature (and so am I), so it’s only natural that the first thing they teach me is the curse words. Oddly enough, those are the easiest to remember.
(I can give you just as many euphemisms for a one eyed trouser snake, in at least 4 different languages and dialects, but I’m not sure that will qualify me as a urologist. Not like I haven’t tried.)
@Derek: Duele la cuca, means to give it an energetic pounding but not sure about the ejaculate part.
Then again, ‘beat up the pussy’ was exactly what JWOWW was doing at the end of the episodes, so I’m sure each region carries a different meaning.
Sammi is a cuca or a ruca-thats a bad word lol
Derek that is correct, or just violent sex in general-finally my latin side is useful!
It was a good episode-im just happy MTV didnt do that silly 10:59 cutoff crap like they did with the first fight between Stupid Sammi and STD Free (for now) JWOWW…it aired at 10:58 and we got a special featured punch from Stupid.
Ronnie is a liar, he’s soft, and I think the excess of Xenadrine has affected his speech and thought patterns…he sounds like a 7 yr old.
Mike rooming with them..thats a Situation!
Deanna has the same makeup as Snooki..literally. They could have been tree ornaments, this show is late!!!!
Honey I love you, great recap!
R
YAYYY so glad you’re back–I swear I look forward to the recaps more than the episodes.
same show everytime. is the fake Dj and the roid monsters and j I should have learned to read all in their thhirties now? sammi sure can sure stand on her own two feet.you come along way baby.what did her parents do to her,great recap do not envy you watching this.mindnumbingly dull from what i can tell.
I sure hope Sammi gets some new club-wear this summer. Those black booty shorts from Miami must be gray by now. If she wasn’t such a bitch, maybe Jwoww would lend her something from Hoe Wear.
Thanks for the recap HG! Glad this trainwreck and you are back!
I can’t stand Sammi. For someone who is so self conscious, how does she keep being a bitch over and over?? I feel like she should care more that people don’t like her.
I think Ronnie has everyone on his side because I guarantee he talks a TON of trash behind Sammi’s back. I bet the whole group thinks it’s ‘her’ and he’s just going along for the ride. I’ve seen it happen a lot with asshole guys.
I’m sure they all still live at home. Snookie and JWOWW have done some press about moving in together (spin-off maybe??)but i’m sure with their schedules it might be hard to settle down. I don’t begrudge them that. I’m kind of glad they didn’t just move out and spend all their money–they’re still young.
Ah Deena, she’s from the town over from me. I don’t mind her yet. I like that she sort of came in and made her presence known. She wasn’t going to let it be them against her. I like seeing the girls get along (against Sammi–I know, that is SO awful but I can’t help it!)
I feel like this is the last good season for them. Downhill from here. I think they’re getting over-exposed and how many times can you watch the same thing. I wouldn’t mind a new cast. My only concern is it would be too similar to Real World if they just keep turning the cast over ,but as a Jersey Girl, I know we have a lot to offer in that form of entertainment!
Just had to agree with everyone else, Sam is a stuck up bitch and is the fun police. Ron needs to stop acting like he gives a shit, he knows he’ll be cheating on her behind he back within a few days. Why is she even on the show, she sits in her room the whole time and does nothing and when the producers force her to go out, she sits in the corner miserable and bitching about going home. Who would even want to be around her? Plus she’s an idiot who’s alienated everyone for telling her the truth about her lying cheating boyfriend and someone got mad at them for telling her the truth about it. Apparently that’s being a bad friend, somehow I missed her logic in that situation?
sammie and roid boy.should have a child that would bring them closer and fix the relationship quick.everything would be perfect,those other people are just trying to break them up.they envy there love.great job honey g
I thought i read somewhere that Sammi and Deena ended up bonding later in the season?
I love the comment about “them coming so far” when talking about how they emotionally abuse each other.
I thought that the quotes around “sweetheart” were for a nickname but i think it is just supposed to be ironic. I thought Snooki said it perfectly when she asked how she had any friends. I couldn’t believe when she would only tell Deena she was from NJ and then when she was calling her Diana instead of her real name. Such an asshole.
Great recap! I’m soo excited that this show is back but 10 minutes in and I already hate Sammi. It was funny how when she and Ronnie were in bed and she asked him what he would do in her place, his face said, “Not this shit again”. She sucks. Also, that Sammi didn’t go downstairs until Ron did and then she actually told JWoww that she would pound her, cocky words for a lucky, cheap shot bitch. After the episode aired “hate Sammi” and “roid rage” were trending on twitter.
Sucks for Sitch that he’s stuck in their room. Did anyone else notice that it looks like Pauly lost a lot of weight? It sucks that he doesn’t look as beefy and yummy as he used to, and kudos to Vinny for not hooking up with Snooki, he was actually being mature about it imo.
Oh and @sarcasatire I think “Que pasa? Duele la cuca?” would translate to, “What’s up? Does your pussy hurt?”.
Looking forward to this season!
@MitchyPR: In Colombia, it translates to, “did you hurt the pussy?”, which is interpreted as, “did you wear yourself out from violently bashing your pelvis against hers? Oh, so that’s why you haven’t cleaned your room.” lol
But I see what you’re saying..it can be translated as that as well, if you were talking to a woman. I would probably say, “Tiene un dolor en su cuca?, myself..but I think if any female is clutching her crotch and moaning in pain, any of these would be acceptable and understood.
Groan…am I really still talking about vaginas? Let’s move on to grundle chodes!
THE REASON RONNIE GOT SO MAD WAS DEANA WAS SHOUTING ABOUT SAMMI’S COKED UP BOYFRIEND. IT WAS BLEEPED BUT YOU CAN KIND OF MAKE IT OUT WITH A LITTLE LIP READING.
I GUESS THAT SOLVES THE CAST MEMBER WITH THE COKE PROBLEM MYSTERY. ALTHOUGH MY MONEY WAS ON THE SITUATION (WHO CERTAINLY SEEMED A LITTLE EXTRA SWEATY TWITCHY AND AGITATED IN SEASON 2)
WHY ARE WE SHOUTING? CAN’T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG?
Remember: you can beat up the pussy, but the pussy always wins.
If Deena comes in the same size, shape (uck) and color (double dog uck)
as Snooki, who will the roommates know which one of them is face down in a gutter aspirating their own vomit? It’s a quandary.
P.S. THEY THOUGHT I MIGHT ACTUALLY BE RETARDED IN 3RD GRADE, BUT IT TURNS OUT I WAS JUST GOING THROUGH A PHASE IN WHICH I INSISTED ON TYPING IN ALL CAPS.
I’M SHOUTING BECAUSE I HAVE A PERMANENT RAVE PARTY IN MY HEAD.
Beat up that pussybeat itchy!
Unsk Unsk Unsk…
I am glad the time line was explained b/c I couldn’t understand why Sammie was still angry with J wow and Snookie especially because they did seem like they felt guilty about not telling Sammie immediately. Also I couldn’t understand how she could stay with Ronnie knowing he went out with other girls then made jokes about getting in the bed with Sam after what he did on those nights out.
I thought Deena took the right approach trying to be nice to Sammie at first, but I think Sammie was just too defensive because Deena was Snookie’s friend.
I am sure Sammie realized how awful her experience was in Miami, why she wouldn’t at least just say something like “we don’t have to like each other but let’s at least be cordial while we are in the house” I don’t know. I mean how does it feel to be in a house where you aren’t well liked.
Dazzyfresh: I noticed that too! He sounded on the verge of tears when he came downstairs. I mean, he never makes any sense or sounds particularly coherent, but I was like, ‘Why is his voice cracking?’
Well, I could have predicted the entirety of this episode pretty much word for word and been spot on. I’m gonna put my thoughts into a nutshell. Sammi (and every other insecure girl in america) will always fall back on the same insult of Jwoww being a “slut”. Iv’e seen girls do this my whole life. Jwoww has a bangin body, wants to show it off, so her attire is always over the top. Who is she hurting, exactly? Last time I checked, Jwoww has done nothing more than half-ass hook up with Pauly in season 1, which she admitted to, dealt with ,and moved on. We never see her out at the club grinding on dudes and giving her number out. Basically, stop calling girls who dress skimpy sluts. We are all too old for that shit. As far as the room situation? Why the fuck didn’t someone just tell ron and sam no? Like, if all the roomies were like “no way. it makes zero sense for you two to be in the 3 person room, and it’s not happening.” what would they do? They would have no arguement and be forced to comply. As much as I hate Sammi with all my being, Ron almost pisses me off more, cause he feeds into her bullshit. He has a guilty conscience for the shit he’s done, and tries to bond with sam over bullshit like not liking the new chick. Remember when sam and jwow fought last season, and Sam thought that she beat jwowws ass?? All of us normal human beings are in agreement that punching someone while they are 100% restrained up against a wall is in NO WAY winning a fight, correct? Well,Ron was trying to get out of the dog house by acting like she won the fight. He’s such a disgusting piece of shit. By doing that kind of shit, they can stay in their pathetic bubble and not have to acknowlege how rediculous they are. Sam knows that Jwoww is normal and cool, therefore she would get along with the new chick. So she had her mind made up that she’d hate her, play the victim as usual, and use it as an excuse to suck ass all season. Ron and Sam deserve each other, and I haven’t seen such a juvenile “relationship” since I was in 9th grade. I guess mtv is under the impression that this unbearable storyline has something to do with the ratings, cause there is no reason for them to be cast on this show whatsoever. I don’t know one single person who enjoys watching them. Lastly, I saw Ronnie on a commercial for hydroxycut or some shit, and it made me really sick. Sam thinks he’s hot, which is hilarious. He ALWAYS looks like he just woke up. She’s a 9 on appearance alone, but a 3 or 4 when her personality is considered. Let’s keep our fingers crossed that she actually does go home. Are the Gods that kind?
Ronnie’s voice wasn’t cracking because he was on the verge on tears. It was cracking because he was on the verge of handing out a bitch slap. I eahr these days…he’c very generous…with his hands.
There was a blind item on Dlisted that explains so much:
“That certain couple on the big MTV hit reality show has been off and on. Not just because of his cheating though. Nope. It seems that he has also hit his girlfriend. More than once. She just keeps taking him back though.”
Hmmm….curiouser and curiouser.
More like they both hit each other. Sick relationship those two.
@Sarcasatire, “Ronnie’s voice wasn’t cracking because he was on the verge on tears. It was cracking because he was on the verge of handing out a bitch slap. I eahr these days…he’c very generous…with his hands.”
LMFAO, too funny! New episode tonight! Cabs are heeeeeeaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!