Jersey Shore Recap: 25 Things I Learned This Week

Recaps

By L Boogie | Monday, October 3, 2011 | 8:32 pm | 35 Comments
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Posted in: Featured, Jersey Shore, Recaps

I’m so sick of people who make proclamations about people who watch Jersey Shore. They say that we must be idiots, have no lives and have low IQs. However, these same mouth breathers watch sports, CSI and were pissed when Cop Rock was cancelled. These kids aren’t here to be role models anymore than CSI is there to show us how to commit crimes and get away with them. Jersey Shore is edu-tainment. This week alone, I learned 25 things from this episode and am here to share them with you now. But first -

PaulyD
Gratuitous Pauly shot.

Going to work with a hangover is not good. Deena and Ronnie are a mess the morning after Snoonni-gate. Pauly, as usual, is just fine. I don’t get it…this kid is always fine after a night out even though everyone else is a mess. Just another reason to love him I guess; he’s alcohol proof. The boss makes Deena clean the bathroom but it makes her wretch. I guess that’s why Marco only let her clean it on one condition.

    jersey shore deena cleaning toilet 0929
    She had to wear gloves to avoid contaminating the toilet.

Good fathers will take your side when you call them and yell hysterically. Snooki was so upset the morning after Jionni left that she dragged herself to a bar to drown her sorrows in beer and house music. She would have gone with Jenni but she’s too busy passively aggressively ignoring Snooki because she’s upset that Snooki yelled at her for not being there for her. The best way to resolve that issue is to…not be there for her. After treating the restaurant patrons to a tirade about men who can’t handle untamed coochie to the tune of “Party Rock Anthem,” she goes back to the house and calls her dad. How do you tell your dad that your boyfriend left because you lifted your dress over your head while doing dirty dancing in public? You don’t. You just start yelling like a crazy person. Snooki randomly starts yelling that Jionni should be with her, he’s not and she doesn’t know why he’d leave. Her dad asks why he left but editing or his parental instincts have him ignore that and jump to the defense of his daughter. He says that Jionni was not right for leaving her. Jenni comes out of the bedroom and Snooki yells at her for not being there for her. Jenni’s reply: I was tired. In other words, Jenni saw the hate in Snooki’s eyes and realized that the only way she could continue to milk this cash cow was to kiss the Donnette’s ring and get back into her good graces. Jenni goes in for a hug and hopes that Nicole will still let her be in her spinoff.

    jersey shore snooki in bar 0929
    “Can someone pick me up and put me on a stool please?”

These girls are starting to be an embarrassment to Jersey. Yeah, I said starting. They used to own their trashiness but now they are trying to cram their trashiness into shells of decency and it’s ruining what I love about it. Snooki is lamenting the trash box that she is and says that she has to change herself to get married and she hates herself. No relationship should make anyone feel like that. I remember feeling like that over one guy and I was a weeping, miserable maniac for about a week. When we finally spoke, he could have had me back in a heartbeat. However, when we talked about what transpired it was a real life Ross and Rachel “we were on a break” moment. When I realized that he wasn’t going to take any responsibility for being a jerk, the tears stopped and I realized I didn’t need that crap. I was about Snooki’s age so it makes sense when I can look at it through that lens. However, I was making $22,000 a year with a degree and no idea of where I was going or how to get it done. She’s worth ten times that amount and could have Jionni killed for a small fee. F*ck him and move on to John Mayer or Adam Levine! I hear they’re true gentleman.

When you have an upset friend who wears hair bows at age six, call her mom. If she’s 23, call her boyfriend. Jenni catches up with Jionni and he says that he has already left Florence. Jenni begs him to talk to Snooki and while he’s reluctant at first, he agrees to speak with her. She gets on the phone with him and he says that he can’t see her because of what she did to him. He says that he is already in Rome on a train.

Sam and Jenni will never really be friends. As Snooki says that it’s over with Jionni and she doesn’t care, Jenni tells her to stop “being Sam” right in front of Sam. Nice.

Jenni really hates Sam. They find out that Jionni is lying and his midget ass hasn’t caught the train yet because the conductor didn’t see Jionni’s little lizard arms waving him down. They get ready to go meet him at the station and Snooki says that it sounds like Jionni is at a bar. Jenni tells her to stop talking like that and then straight up calls her Sam. Sam, who’s fully accepted her role as the idiot doormat, totally agrees with the jabs and says that Snooki is being the old Sammi. The Sammi of one whole week ago!

These kids are really kids. When Snooki gets to the train station, Jionni says that he cannot stay because his mommy already paid for and changed his flight. If he was my kid, that little asshole would’ve stayed in Italy and played with his balls as per the original itinerary. First of all, he’s adult enough to go to another country, bang a girl on TV and leave her in a club but he cannot make his own flight plans? Loser. Additionally, he’s pretty much solidified the fact that his parents will hate Snooki forever. One of the major rules of being in a relationship, at least among my friends, is you NEVER tell your parents about the really serious fights you have with your partner unless you are 100% breaking up because then they will hate them. Long after the two of you have had make up sex, parents will still remember that thing he/she did, how upset you were and they will never truly like you or want you in the family.

    jersey shore snooki at train station 0929
    Snooki: Wait. You mean to tell me that I wore my very best old lady glasses’ chain and this isn’t convincing you to stay with me?! You’re such a jerkoff!
    Jionni: My mom’s making Stove Top tonight! Who’s the jerkoff now? And then we’re gonna drink Sunny D, not that purple stuff.
    Snooki: You’re drinking blue stuff now! What’s the difference you asshole?
    Jionni: I’m drinking Ron Ron juice. Someday I’ll be big and strong.
    Snooki: That’s milk that does that you dumb ass. Ron Ron juice will make you bleed out of your ass and verbally abuse your girlfriend!
    Jionni: More than usual?

These kids are so bored when no one is fighting that they resort to doing silly things. Pauly D and Vinny decide to pile all of Deena’s belongings onto her bed. Unlike a few weeks ago when they put her bed in the living room, Deena thinks that this is funny. The guys make her take all of the stuff off of the bed and of course a couch falls on her. When Deena goes into the bathroom to confront him, a nude greased up Vinny humps her out of the door.

    jersey shore vinny humps deena 0929
    The only way she’s getting any action in the house.

    Couches are heavy but might be more comfortable than a park bench. Just a tidbit for Deena’s future housing plans.

    jersey shore couch on deena 0929

That night at the club, Snooki dances with a fellow whilst choking him because she wants to party but also wants to kill. I saw a porn like this once. It didn’t end well. Deena chooses this time to tell Jenni that she thinks she is pregnant. Jenni is pissed that she’s become the Ann Landers of this season but immediately leaves the club and takes her to a haunted house to get a pregnancy test.

    jersey shore pregnancy test haunted house 0929
    Creepy Person in Hole in the Wall: What’s the password?
    Jenni: Jersey.
    Creepy Person in Hole in the Wall: Aah, yes. The CDC has told us so much about your kind.

Don’t ever get a pregnancy test in Italy. Jenni has to literally talk through a hole to get the test. This place looks like a guy with a hook for a hand will answer the door. Then again, that could actually work out well for Deena and her possible situation.

Creepy pregnancy test stores are easier to find than train stations in Italy. These same people did not know where the train station was earlier but they found the all night pregnancy test factory with no problem.

No one has keys to the house. Every time someone gets to the house, they have to ring the bell. Deena and Jenni have to be buzzed in by Mike. What happens when no one is there? Are the crew members the only ones with keys?

When you’re trying to keep a secret in this house, give out the dumbest answers possible. When Jenni and Deena get back to the house to take the test, Mike asks where the girls went and they simultaneously give different answers until they agree on the best one. They say that they went to get “a food.” Not just food but “a food”. If they’d said that they went to get “a book” I’m sure that Mike would have been speechless for the next 18 minutes and the episode would have ended with them all quivering in separate corners of the house in shame. Just to make doubly sure that no one suspects anything, the girls announce that they have to “pee so bad.” That’s sure to explain the trail of tears and urine that will soon be leading out of the bathroom when Deena finds out that she’s with meatball. It’s a great cover since a trail of tears and urine usually leads away from Mike’s bed.

Deena is not the mother! I was looking forward to seeing the first case of Sudden Infant Fist Pump Syndrome but I’ll have to wait until Mike impregnates Snooki. You can get pregnant through the mouth right?

Snooki resembles Kermit and Miss Piggy’s first born.

    jersey shore snooki on phone with jianni 0929
    “It ain’t easy being green Jionni! And it ain’t easy being half pig!”

Jionni cares way too much about his image. When he finally gets home and Snooki calls, he tells her that no one will respect him if his girl acts the way she does. He goes so far as to say that she was acting like a pig which is eerily coincidental considering who her biological parents might be. Also, I would have murdered that kid if he used that word to describe me no matter how he meant it.

Jionni has a point. Snooki is complaining that she’s been depressed the entire trip because of him and he’s not allowing her to be herself. He says that he’s not holding her back because she’s making out with girls and getting drunk every night of the week. Again, he knew what he signed up for so I must take that point back. Snooki tells him not to call for a few days and hangs up on him. Score one for the frigs (frog+pigs)!

Ronnie’s an asshole. I mean, we already knew this but it’s worse now. He says that he would have never “let” Sam leave the house in the outfit that Snooki was wearing the night of the fight. Snooki was wearing a hot pink, animal print mini dress. On the night of the Mike/Ronnie fight, Sam was wearing an animal print mini dress that Ronnie purchased for her. Okay. Sam defends Snooki’s dress as being hot. Deena doesn’t think that Jionni should be mad because he was in the Jersey house and knew “what it was”. Jenni inexplicably has a glove on and is proclaiming Snooki’s right to be hot. Later on she has a bandage on; I hope she hasn’t come down with creepy Michael Jackson disease already.

    jersey shore ronnie being a douche 0929
    “Sam, why are you flapping your big, dumb gums and not making my protein rage shake?”

Karma is anywhere you want it to be. Not the sum of a person’s actions in this and previous states of existence which decide their fate; the nightclub Karma. Pauly takes out his DJ equipment and recreates Karma as per Snooki’s request. She says that her life would be great if she could just be at KArma. All the girls wear animal print, Deena falls and Mike sits in the corner like a creep. Aaaah, it’s nice to be back home. Snooki flirts with Mike and even lets him remove her shoe. You know a man like Mike has to have a foot fetish; he’s just so creepy. That being said, you can definitely see how the two of them could have hooked up a few months before. He and Snooki  walk away from the party and Deena and Jenni follow them presumably to avoid another hook up that will result in subsequent denials from Snooki and dirty stories from Mike. Jenni presses Mike as to why he wants Snooki so badly and he says that he loves her. He also says that he can take care of her like no one else can. Okay, my panties just involuntarily dropped. At this point we know that Mike is worth $6 million or so. Snooki has a couple million but damn, as independent as I am, I would drop that independent woman shtick for a house in the burbs and a Benz. I’d also have to take every antibiotic known to man for the remainder of my life but it’s $6 million + we’re talking about!

Snooki still loves Jionni. As she reassures Mike of their friendship only status, she finds out that Ronnie kinda encouraged Mike to fight Jionni. Snooki is mad but I’m not sure why. This is the perfect time to dump him; the roomies don’t care for him too much anyway. Maybe she’s pissed because the fight would have resulted in Jionni finding out about her affair.  When she confronts Ronnie, he says that he doesn’t want to deal with that. What an asshole! After everything that he’s put the house through with Mike and Sam, he doesn’t want to get involved in something? I think I hate him more than Sam this episode and that’s saying a lot!

Everyone hates Mike. They’re annoyed that he told Snooki what Ronnie said. The roommates jump on him for that and then Jenni says that Snooki chose Jionni over him anyway. Of course this makes Mike defensive and he pulls out the whole, Snooki gave me head while she was with Jionni card. They’re all pissed off at him for telling what is apparently the truth because no one denies it so they do what they do best. They all get into their respective beds with their clothes on and provide sad montage time.

I secretly still love Vinny and openly love Pauly to the max. Kids say that right? To the max! After the drama of the night, everyone’s favorite oompa-loompa, Deena, tries to get into bed with Pauly but he rejects her nicely enough by saying that the bed is too small for her Crisco thighs. Interestingly enough, when Snooki gets into Pauly’s bed, he welcomes her with open arms. I think that the original roomies still feel closer and more familial with each other than with Deena and Pauly knows that Snooki can keep things moving. Deena will never let go or get over anything that might happen and Pauly is smart enough to avoid it. He can also see so that works against her too. Snooki was a better alternative than Deena and he took advantage of it. What Pauly wasn’t banking on was Snooki being a great friend to Deena and volunteering to get into bed with Vinny so Pauly can be with Deena. Pauly is not happy that he got pimped but because he doesn’t want to hurt Deena’s feelings too much and he’s trying to help Vinny get laid, he lets Deena in bed. Vinny calls Snooki out on the pimpage but is definitely happy to have her in the bed. And then, he makes me fall in love all over again when he asks Snooki if she’s still with Jionni. I could be wrong but I thought that was sweet. He has enough respect for himself, her and/or Jionni, to find that out first. Then he asks for a kiss. Awww, it’s not just banging! Pauly on the other hand, is trying to get Deena out of his bed. She’s not taking the hint at first but then she finally does and all is well on one side of the room. Vinny and Snooki are writhing around under the covers and I am clapping and giggling like a little school girl. There’s just something about her that I like and something about the two of them that I love. I have issues.

So there you have it; 25 things we learned on this week’s episode of Jersey Shore. And they say reality TV is for idiots. I’d like to see someone learn this much from Meet the Press or Sesame Street. Not. Gonna. Happen. Oh damn. Okay, it’s only 23 things. I had 25 but I think my dog ate the last two. Geometry is for losers anyway. So what do you say? Did Jionni overreact? Do you like Vinny and Snooki together? Anyone else think that Deena made up the pregnancy story so it would seem like someone has banged her in the last 5 years? Tell me more, tell me more!

About

35 Comments

  1. 1
    Thatswhatshesaid
    Posted October 3, 2011 at 9:04 pm

    I think Jionni is a jerk and overreacted. I was glad Snooki hung up on him after he called her a pig. He was right though that she HAD been being herself the whole time. I wonder what he thought of the Matador / Bull thing with Snooki & Deena; not to mention their 8 hour intense hookup. I’m surprised he hasn’t dumped her again.

    I think Deena made up the pregnancy thing to get attention. I think Snooki did hook up with Mike. Look how easily she got into bed with Vinny after her hysterics on the stairs over Jionni leaving!!!

    I think JWOWW is officially the side-kick and it’s Snooki’s world. I think they all realize it. Also, that lame Karma thing was so fake and staged. Booo!

    Still weird seeing Sam & Ron not fighting. So weird.

  2. 2
    MichyPR
    Posted October 3, 2011 at 10:30 pm

    I think that Jionni had a right to be pissed, she was making a fool out of herself and him. Also, had I been JWoww I would’ve told Snooki to go fuck herself when she started yelling about how Jenni wasn’t there for her. Actually I probably would’ve slapped Snooki in the face the night before. As for the Mike thing, just eww, he is so creepy and disgusting and he keeps getting worse every season. Great recap!

  3. 3
    Thatswhatshesaid
    Posted October 4, 2011 at 1:11 am

    I didn’t understand why Jionni left. I get being pissed, but he wouldn’t even talk to her about it. He was just going to go to Rome & not tell her. If Jenni hadn’t called him (& the producers not made him answer) he would have just left. I’m SURE that night wasn’t the first night Snooki embarrassed him at a club. She drinks A LOT. and why couldn’t he just stay? So what if mommy changed your ticket. Snooki is rich!!! She sneezes on train tickets to Rome. I think 1)He had to go to save face with his mom & friends to not appear weak & 2) I have a suspicion the producers might have been in on it for maximum drama. He never even seem like he missed her in the first place. He’s very controlling & I bet he still dominates that relationship because Snooki is so caught up in her fantasy to have guido babies. She has no self-esteem or respect for herself (as made obvious by her drunken antics).

    I was surprised JWOWW didn’t confront Snooki or be honest with her. Why did she & Snooki make it her responsibility to fix things with Jionni? I didn’t get that. I wouldn’t have chased him around town or been calling him the next day. He obviously didn’t care enough to work it out. Both of them are immature.

  4. 4
    Jaycee
    Posted October 4, 2011 at 6:11 am

    Talked this over with my bf, who generally doesn’t approve of drinking but doesn’t mind when I do it socially. Had I been acting like Snooki (and I never do), he would have gotten mad, he might have left the room, but he never would have left town without talking it out. He also wouldn’t be inaccessible for that long. So, yes, Snooki was acting like SNL’s version of herself at the club, but Jionni’s assholedom still trumps it. These two seem 100% incompatible.

    Things I loved about this episode: Setting up Karma in the living room sounded like a really fun idea, so point to Snooki for coming up with it. Also, I would bet any amount of money that Vinny is the best lover among the four guys. I want him to make Snooki’s babies.

  5. 5
    MissKris RTVFan
    Posted October 4, 2011 at 9:15 am

    “had I been JWoww I would’ve told Snooki to go fuck herself when she started yelling about how Jenni wasn’t there for her. Actually I probably would’ve slapped Snooki in the face the night before.”
    @Mitchy, that’s what the old Jenni would’ve done. But, alas, “JWOWW is officially the side-kick and it’s Snooki’s world”

    At first I thought the newer, softer Jenni might be a welcome change. What was I thinking? She’s so boring, and obviously frustrated with her new role. The more this show becomes (becomes??) scripted, the more it becomes (again, becomes???) a cartoon. I think even though MTV had a cash cow with this original cast from the start, they should’ve had a new cast each season a la Real World. How far can Snookie and the gang go? Real World has been going for what, 25 years? Hahaha, can you imagine the geriatric Jersey Shore years?? Aren’t Mike and Paulie in their 30′s now? Although I CAN see creepy Mike trolling around the clubs at 60, with his bald head and hunched over moves.

  6. 6
    hot cawfee
    Posted October 4, 2011 at 9:25 am

    Oh Jeebus!!
    OK– Jionni is a complete putz- to use a word from my generation. You knew what you picked up in Jersey. His mom changed his travel plans huh? And she’d be angry is he changed them? He certainly is not to be outdone by Mike. MIKE– a gentleman never tells–never. Vinny wouldn’t and yes- neither would Pauly D. They are gentlemen. questions for the class– 1)– is Jenni no longer drinking ? She is eerily sober.
    2)– what is up with hats ??? Is every girl going Gina Lollobrigida whilst in Italy?
    3)– and this hurts– Is it perhaps time for a Snooki-vention? She is off the rails–mentally, emotionally, every which way. At her age I dated a guy–but was not thinking of marriage and kids at all. Its almost as though she has no plans at all for herself–an adoption issue perhaps?? Not snarking–just wondering.

  7. 7
    Sassygrl72
    Posted October 4, 2011 at 9:59 am

    Like I told my husband, you don’t pick up a whore and then be surprised when she acts like a whore…..especially when she gets PAID to do it by MTV. No whore = no $$$$$

  8. 8
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted October 4, 2011 at 10:13 am

    Those ‘kids’ were rolling their faces off at ‘Club Karma’. Not that I know from personal experience, just sayin’.

    Can we just get a Pauly-D show? I ALMOST miss a good old fashion Rammi Rage filled fight ( I can’t believe I just typed that) to interrupt Snooki Benito Mussolini and her Oompa Loompa antics- and her plebes just go with it! (Yes Snooki, you do deserve this right now!) It’s so boring! Meh. And, if J-Wow doesn’t wake up and bite someone’s head off soon I am personally writing MTV to re-edit her intro. Otherwise, that’s false advertising. I completely agree, re-cast Jersey Shore every season and send these kids to a RW/RR/JS Challenge to face all the other casts who have to fight for their lives to win 2k to live. Love me or leave me alone.

    Awesome re-cap, nice use of celeb net worth!

  9. 9
    Dtc
    Posted October 4, 2011 at 11:29 am

    I think Sam and Jenni are kind of friends but Sam knows that Jenni is still pretty much the alpha femaleso it wasn’t like she was going to protest too much when Jenni compared Snooki to her plus she knows that she was an idiot (I’m kinda on board with this new sam though, gawd, I hope the old one stays away). I seriously wish they would make the jersey shore cast do the Challenges…it would be hilarious to watch CT go apeshit on Ron.

  10. 10
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted October 4, 2011 at 12:25 pm

    Lez-Be-Honest, I would pay for a WWE grudge match with CT vs. Ronnie. That shhhhh! would with worth $29.95, IMO. Plus if they did another Rivals then Ron and Sitch could be the new male duo.

    I do like new Sammi, so far. But, that’s just because Snooki is tumbling Hello Kitty hat over Sasquatch boots down to the bottom of the ravine. I agree with the commenter above. A very special Snooki-vention is in order. Croc-a-dilly writes her a letter and all.

  11. 11
    TVgasm Addict
    Posted October 4, 2011 at 12:52 pm

    Maybe I just speak for myself, but don’t we love the Jersey Shore cast because they are … themselves? They wouldn’t make a bajillion dollars a season if they behaved themselves, went to bed before sunrise, covered their cucas, reacted reasonably to situations, or consumed alcohol in moderation. I feel sad for Nicole — her heart was broken.

    In unrelated news, what is going on with the mismatched toilet seat/toilet bowl combo in the picture? That is one public restroom I would walk into and right back out of. It looks to sketchy to even hover above!

  12. 12
    Thatswhatshesaid
    Posted October 4, 2011 at 5:49 pm

    @Gypsy: I’ve always had a problem with JWOWW’s intro on the show. It’s ALWAYS been false advertising. We’ve never seen her as a man-killer. Tom got ghost after trashing and stealing her stuff, but she cheated on him. And even with Roger, when they were hot and heavy, we still didn’t see it. She’s a relationship girl, not a random hookup girl like Snooki. #FAIL.

  13. 13
    Thatswhatshesaid
    Posted October 4, 2011 at 7:46 pm

    @TV Gasm Addict: Good call on that toilet seat/bowl combo mismatch. I hadn’t even noticed. That whole thing with Deena cleaning the bathroom was boring. They are desperate to find her a storyline. And how gross was it that she used a MOP to clean the toilet?! She does realize chances are that SHE’LL be using that toilet too, right? Gross.

  14. 14
    NotWithoutMyTV
    Posted October 4, 2011 at 7:53 pm

    Maybe you can’t pick up a whore and then be surprised that she’s a whore, but you can decide at a later point that the whore you picked up is giving whores a bad name, and GTFO of there. I’m not sure why Nicole gets a pass for being a stank hosebeast and Jionni is a jerk for leaving a stank hosebeast. (His mommy and the plane ticket is another matter. Feel free to deride him for that. Really. Knock yourself out.)

  15. 15
    kthxbai
    Posted October 5, 2011 at 1:12 am

    @TVgasm Addict I noticed that too! My guess is that 1 of them tore it up and they just needed to get it fixed quick.

    Jionni’s such a non factor. MTV should be embarrassed for even having him in a 2nd episode.

    I wonder if Snooki hooking up with Vinnie will become a big debate next season like they’re doing now with her and the Situation.

    That still makes no sense to me, they talked about it in all these interviews last year, plus it was on the show, I think even the last season finale.

    And now if you look around the internet there are all these people suffering from mass amnesia and actually getting upset saying how terrible it is for the Situation to be telling these lies and other people getting into arguments about whether Snooki would ever even think about it.

    kthxbai

  16. 16
    Snootchy Bootches
    Posted October 5, 2011 at 2:29 am

    I thought what she was denying was hooking up with Mike while with Jionni (which is what Mike is saying) not that she never hooked up with Mike. What she did last season was pre-Jionni and not a big deal.

    And why is it spelled Jionni? Why isn’t it spelled Gianni like any normal red blooded Italian boy?!

  17. 17
    kthxbai kthxbai
    Posted October 5, 2011 at 3:01 am

    @Snootchy Bootches oh duh. I think you’re right.

    I’m going to need some time to decide how embarrassed I ought to be about this.

    And also how long I need to wait before I make any more comments about people on reality shows being dumber than boxes of hair…

    kthxbai

  18. 18
    Snootchy Bootches
    Posted October 5, 2011 at 3:17 am

    I think that you should be so embarassed that you suddenly go through a rebel phase. Dye your hair green with kool aid and refuse to eat your vegetables. Unless, of course, you are already in a rebel phase. In which case, you’ll feel the sudden urge to wear bow ties. All. The. Time. Even when naked. ESPECIALLY when naked!

  19. 19
    kthxbai kthxbai
    Posted October 5, 2011 at 4:02 am

    My hair won’t bleach so to compromise I dyed a bow tie green and made some vegetables look at naked koolaid.

    It worked! The blemish of embarrassment dried up and now I’m centered and feel OK about calling other people stupid again.

    Thanks!

    kthxbai

  20. 20
    Classy Drunk Classy Drunk
    Posted October 5, 2011 at 5:50 am

    I had a problem with Jionni saying his Mother paid to bring him home. There’s no way Mama Classy is paying for my to come home. She might send me some extra money for a hotel room because that wasn’t factored into my expenses, but no way she’s sending for me to come home.

    Snookie needs to realize this is the way she is making her money right now. Jionni should realize the same. When Jionni is around Snookie could dial it back a bit. When Jionni is around Snookie he should lighten up a bit. It’s called compromise.

    I am just not sure how this worked in the first place because I know these kids are out doing appearances all the time in clubs so I assume that he goes with her. Did this all of a sudden because a huge problem or had this been a brewin’.

    I still think that Snookie is a lying about the situation (I’m here all night people). If she was so quick to hop in bed with Vinnie because she was upset with Jionni who’s to say the same thing didn’t happen with Sitch. I don’t agree with Sitch’s tactics but if you keep calling someone a liar who knows that they aren’t lying depending on how important it is to them they are going to do something about it.

    Lucky for us this is television and Mike is going to make this interesting for us.

  21. 21
    Enrique's Mole
    Posted October 5, 2011 at 6:12 am

    I think I contracted herpes from watching this episode. With the exception of Pauly, I find them all repulsive [and can't stop watching.]

  22. 22
    Enrique's Mole
    Posted October 5, 2011 at 6:16 am

    @Gypsy – I’ll chip in to fund the WWE matchup between CT and Ronnie. I’d love to see Ronnie cry [again]!

  23. 23
    Snootchy Bootches
    Posted October 5, 2011 at 6:17 am

    I can think of one reason why she might jump in bed with Vinnie and not Mike:

    Mike = |–|
    Vinnie = |————-|

    Plus, Vinnie is pretty nice and she had feelings for him before (and probably still does). Mike is just a giant douchebag.

    But with regards to Gianni (yeah, gonna spell it right because I’m a rebel!), Snookie’s reactions to him remind me a lot of myself at about that age. I dated a guy who was a total asshole to me. And I would come begging like a puppy for more. Then I found out that he had been cheating with his ex for the entire two years we had been together. And I almost went back to him when he apologized for it. Thank heavens two good friends sat me down and talked some sense into me. Once I realized what an idiot I had been, it changed me. I think most people probably go through that one relationship where you are a dunce before you grow up a little and learn. Snookie just needs to learn that lesson.

  24. 24
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted October 5, 2011 at 7:07 am

    Oh yeaaaaaa! I love all the comments!

    I have a few observations, ready? Ok.

    @ That’s what- Thank you for speaking up! I had such high hopes for J-Woww in the beginning, especially when she hooked up with Pauly D (almost?) in season one. Just think of what could have been! She is all bark and no bite. Although, I did love her yelling at Snooki the night Jionni took off-while she was wearing a red Kelly Bundy number! Also, Deena sticks out like a sore thumb. I don’t mind her but she really doesn’t have a story line at all.

    @kthxbai-I agree with you, love the short term memory loss going on but, considering all of the alcohol abuse, blackouts and, IMO drug use, there could be gaping holes in their memories.

    AND- Regarding Jionni, who the eff does he think he is? Let’s face is viewers; he is a third string hook up dubbed “Bernard” last time they were at the Jersey house. @NWMTV is right; if he can’t take the heat get out of the kitchen. But, don’t blame it on Mommy even though you know this Italian-American likely hasn’t cut the cord yet. (A la Vinnie) A couple weekends ago he was with Snooki at her AC appearance and (I can’t believe I remember this) I remember seeing Jionni at the MTV awards when they shot to the whole cast seated in the audience. Interesting was the Sitch couldn’t make it.

    @Classy- I’ll tap in and be here all day. Love how you spell Snookie with an ‘e’ it just makes everything so much better to read! I agree, I think she is lying. Past history shows she is quick to hop from bed to bed to “get it in”. I HATE to admit this but what does Sitch have to lose? And if I were him I would hate that someone was making a liar out of me. It’s not like what he’s been saying has been inconsistent. I think the rest of the girls don’t like that he’s bringing it up while she’s in a relationship. (Since Sam and J-Woww both have a past of covering up ‘hook ups’ on a break) If she was single Snooki I am sure this would get talked about/shown plenty ie, the hot tub shot of Snooki/Sitch hooking up at the end of last Jersey Shore House Season.

    Lastly @EM- I’ll start up a collection plate and pitch it to the WWE, LOVE IT! Seriously, that would be so much fun to watch. Watching Ronnie cry would be the icing on the cake!

    Finally, some drama worthth talking about

  25. 25
    L Boogie
    Posted October 5, 2011 at 10:56 am

    Good points made by all especially the CT/Ronnie slap fight! I have to say…I think that I am more in lust with CT than Pauly. I do NOT go for bad boys at all but there’s something about CT and his killer eyes that just makes me want to go to his house unattended late at night and just see what happens. That kid is so hot to me!!! Jwoww’s intro? I totally agree! Every time I watch it I think “yeah mother truckin’ right!” She is so not about ripping guys’ heads off or even girls. If you recall, Sam actually won those challenges. The last time she was interesting was during that fight and when she wore chaps for Roger at the end of last season. I’m glad she’s growing up but get the hell off of my trashy show and take that crap elsewhere. And I totally would’ve left Snooki to dry if she were my friend because I don’t have patience for that nonsense, but Jwoww knows what side her bread is buttered on. She better smarten up before she ends up dropped from the spinoff in favor of Deena. Jionni’s name is the biggest headache to type! This week I kept typing ‘Jianni.’ I hate when parents put so much effort into making their kids’ names different but then their kid ends up doing perfectly typical things i.e. Banging girls at the shore and wearing over priced t-shirts. He has the right to change his mind about being with Snooki but the whole point is, this is her career! It4 not like she’s a ho from around the way. She’s a millionairess ho who has to keep up the antics to remain relevant for another year or so. That’s what he should have been aware of and accepted. I do miss the Ron and Sammi fights but didn’t want to be the first to admit it. As much as I hate the fighting, it makes them relevant. Now they’re oversized doorstops. I’m gonna just stop there cuz I could do this all day and I’ve gotta get back to stalking CT and Pauly’s twitter for possible sightings and baby making activities.

  26. 26
    jsbfuzz
    Posted October 5, 2011 at 11:49 am

    Did anyone else notice that after the Snooki/Jionni fight, when she wanted to get up and go out – I don’t think she even SHOWERED!!! Might have been the editing, but this is my new Jersey Shore drinking game!!! And from what I’ve heard, the entire cast turns on Snooki at the reunion RE: the situation “situation”, and believe him. His story apparently has never changed & she showed up bombed. I think Jionni reacted the way he did to create some interest. I’m sure she has acted that way before and he didn’t want to look like a punk while the cameras where rolling. And as for the Vinnie hook-up – I think ol Snooks has a thing for he, but the only time he will touch her is in the confines of the house….if he’s drunk…and there are no other options! The girl just looks like she smells!!! God how I love this show!

  27. 27
    Thatswhatshesaid
    Posted October 5, 2011 at 12:22 pm

    First of all @NWMTV THIS: “Maybe you can’t pick up a whore and then be surprised that she’s a whore, but you can decide at a later point that the whore you picked up is giving whores a bad name, and GTFO of there.” is frickin’ HI-LARIOUS!!! LOVE!
    I wanted to say you can’t make a ho out of a housewife, but you took the cake! LOLVL!!!

    Re: CT/Ronnie matchup at WWE. Has everyone forgotten that Ronnie can’t fight? He knocked that one dude out in Jersey (who was already drunk), but other than that, what evidence do we have that he can fight? Even Pauly D and Vinnie were making fun of both Ronnie & Situatin’s inability to fight. I think CT would kill Ronnie. He’s bigger/taller and has that muderous rage that I’m sure tops Roid Rage.

    Re: Situation/Snooki- At first I was reluctant to believe the Sitch. But that lasted 5 minutes. Seeing Snooki go into hysterics, NEVER DENY IT, only call him psycho and then TREMBLINGLY/(GUILTILY?)call Jionni to tell him just (for me) solidified her guilt. If it’s a lie, who cares? Why tell Jionni? And is it me? Seeing one of my friends in action, would NOT motivate me to want to go down on a dude. I don’t really understand the chain of events as the Sitch told it, but he’s right, his story has never changed. JWOWW also seemed to believe him initially by telling Snooki “He had DETAILS!!!” when she told her. Snooks is caught. Oh well.

    @Non-Showering Guidos – I think I might have commented on this in the past as well. You only see JWOWW freshly showered. I can probably count on ONE HAND when Snooki has ever given the appearance of showering. She always comes home and falls into bed. How gross must her bed smell?! Ugh!

    @Jionni’s mom paying – Yeah, he seems like a mama’s boy and Snooki needs to just move on now. As someone else commented before, Jionni’s mom is going to hate Snooki (if she doesn’t already) and any hopes of winning the mom over are damned. The fact that Jionni was afraid of NOT going home because “my mom paid for the ticket” SHOWS his mom still calls the shots. Sigh. Just because he’s killing time with her now doesn’t mean he’ll wife her up.

  28. 28
    Thatswhatshesaid
    Posted October 5, 2011 at 12:24 pm

    Also, who would watch the Jersey Shore withouth Snooki? What on earth would there be to see?!

  29. 29
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted October 5, 2011 at 1:18 pm

    @ Thats… Pauly D. That’s what there would be to see :-)

  30. 30
    kthxbai kthxbai
    Posted October 5, 2011 at 4:31 pm

    OK Even though I don’t think he’s worth it everybody else is talking about Jionni the hungry tiger.

    So I’ll be the 734thousandth person to say it’s not like Snooki had been lying to Jionni telling him she was this prissy virgin girl and then he went to Florence and got this big surprise.

    He knew who she was and he was fine with all he got as a result of her being the way she is, which is how she got rich and famous, Hello!

    He’s just a piece of ish asshat that used her to get on TV and whatever else he got and thought he could get and then treated her worse than dirt.

    The stuff about his mom changing his ticket was 1 of the lamest scenes in MTV history.

    1) Snooki’s a millionaire and 2) MTV would’ve paid twice whatever his mom put on her card (if she really did which I really doubt) if they thought they’d get more footage of him treating her worse than dirt and her crying.

    It’s true most boys wouldn’t want their girlfriend to pull up their dress in the club.

    That’s probably one of the main reasons most boys didn’t go to the Jersey house to hook up with Snooki or start dating her or go to Italy to be with her.

    My guess is that his name is Gianni and he started spelling it like that because he wants people to remember him and think he’s got all this unique star potential.

    kthxbai

  31. 31
    zeta
    Posted October 5, 2011 at 7:26 pm

    i don’t even know why ppl are trying to paint Gianni as the bad guy..his girlfriends a trashy hoe..simple as that. I’m sure he’s one of those ppl that think when u meet someone, they will calm down and settle down for you, but as someone said–can’t turn a hoe into a housewife.

    The roomates might as well fucking breastfeed Snooki, because they never call her out on her actions. Everything with her is always “I don’t deserve this right now”. This is an adult, who has obviously had no home training. Her parents obviously failed at parenting, and she fails at life. Gianni needs to dump that butterface/butterbody chick, and find himself a decent girl! It’s not about him wanting to “change” Snooki, but her hooking up with Vinny, and most likely Mike, shows that she’s a worthless piece of trash. Anyone who breeds with her– I feel sorry for them…

  32. 32
    Thatswhatshesaid
    Posted October 6, 2011 at 6:56 am

    I like Pauly D and I think he’s funny, but I don’t know that I’d tune into a whole show about just Pauly D. I’m not that into DJs or what they do. I like him and Vinnie together though. They are hilar.

    I think my problem with the Jionni thing is that he went all the way to Italy to see Snooki. He knows what she’s like when she’s drunk etc. She was soooooo excited to see him and then she does ONE THING (which I’m SURE wasn’t the first time she’s acted up in da club) and LEAVES?! I just think he overreacted. Maybe the other times she acted a fool with him it wasn’t on tv, but girl has been actin’ a fool since the show ever aired. He shouldn’t have been that surprised by her actions. That’s who she is. I think that’s what upset me. She was floored and so upset as well so obviously she didn’t think what she was doing was going to piss him off. She knows how he is as well and if she’d known he was going to leave her she wouldn’t have done it. It’s just so crazy to me. I don’t think he loves her. I think she needs to grow up for sure and I’m not justifying her behavior at all. I just think the way he treated her was unwarranted given who he’s dating and her past history. If he was THAT concerned with his image he should never have started dating her in the first place.

  33. 33
    Enrique's Mole
    Posted October 6, 2011 at 9:30 am

    @ThatsWhatSheSaid: “CT/Ronnie matchup at WWE. Has everyone forgotten that Ronnie can’t fight?…I think CT would kill Ronnie. He’s bigger/taller and has that muderous rage that I’m sure tops Roid Rage.”

    Exactly, hence the fun of the match up!!!

  34. 34
    sardini
    Posted October 10, 2011 at 7:00 am

    L-Boog,s hilarious recap. Loved it.

    @Gypsy, ” Regarding Jionni, who the eff does he think he is? Let’s face is viewers; he is a third string hook up dubbed “Bernard” last time they were at the Jersey house.” Hahahaha, soooooooooo true!! He was just a random who stuck around for whatever reason. It could have just as easily been the dude who pratically proposed on the ski lift. Hell, she is so freakin desperate she’d probably hook up with the guy who knocked her out!!

    My husband and I have a running disagreement on the whole Jionni thing. I agree with most of you guys (duh). He thinks Snooks probably swore up and down that she would change for him, and he has every right to be mad at her not keeping her word. So, if that’s our biggest fight, we’re doing okay :) .

    I think even though Mike is a creepazoid, Snooki should just marry him and call it a day once Jersey Shore is over and done with. I mean, they’re both the most ridiculous, unreasonable people ever. Might as well combine forces.

  35. 35
    #jerseyshorefan
    Posted November 9, 2011 at 8:24 am

    I think that Jionni’s no fashion ass is a little cry baby bitch! Can’t pay for his own freaking ticket. Mommy has to pay for it. REALLY? JWOWW should of never even tried being such an AMAZING friend to SNOOKI after the way SNOOKI treated her. I would of bitched slapped SNOOKI for the way she was embarrassing herself and yelling at JWOWW! And Pauly, even though Snooki was annoying, he’s a straight up ASSHOLE for saying “who cares” when Snooki was balling her meatball eyes out for dumbass Jionni…. I love Pauly and he’s MY FAVORITE but the fame has gone to his freaking head and we’re all sick of it…HIs fame will soon go away and will have to go back to selling cars and making a real honest living like the rest of us. Please Pauly be nice this season…..

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