Jersey Shore Recap: Control the Crazy, aka I Guess My Friend Michelle Watches This?

The rest of the roomies discuss Deena, and Sam is truly annoyed.  She feels like it’s not her job to watch after Deena, and it’s really affecting her.  She’s getting yelled at by Deena’s mom, and they’re all feeling the pressure of Deena’s distress.  Ron calls her mom though, and tries to tell her parents that Deena is fine, she just drank too much.  Deena’s parents make the right parental choice to keep driving shoreward, so they can see what they’re really going to be dealing with in a couple of months when filming ends.  Ron’s really familiar with Deena’s parents, and I do appreciate once again that their relationships are genuine.  

Vinny brings Deena back in, and she’s happy the roomies haven’t gone out yet, which… fact.  They care about each other, no question.  They wanted things to be settled, and I can give credit – that’s nice.  It’s like the first season, or like any group of friends in their twenties.  Who dress like hookers and spend more time in the gym than at their jobs.  Oh wait, ha!  I mean ‘jobs.’  This ends when everyone else decides to go out, and the boys tell Deena she just needs to spend some time with herself at Club Clitoris.  Can I even write that?  I feel so dirty recapping this show, you guys.  On so many levels.

The Gang, minus Deena arrives in the club, and toasts responsibility.  

Meanwhile, Deena’s mom walks in with a chicken caesar wrap, and a cheesecake for everyone else.  That’s awesome and junk, but before anyone goes, “Awww, I want Deena’s mom to bring me food,” keep in mind that you would have to endure Deena for that to happen.  Although, it does remind me of when, in my mid-twenties, my own roomie’s mom would bring us drunk-asses a magnum of Vendange and a roll of cookie dough, leaving her teal Camaro running while she ran it in to us.  On demand.  No, it’s not chicken caesar or cheesecake, but it was Springfield, IL in the 90s, so it was pretty effing cool.  

Mary Jane never gave us sit-downs about our drinking, but Deena’s parents do.  And she makes zero sense, because she is still wasted.  Her mom tries to tell her to lay off a little, and Deena says she hates how her mom makes her feel when she calls to check up on her.  It’s two completely different conversations, and Deena just does not get it.  Deena drinks to have fun, not because she’s depressed, so I guess she means her mom doesn’t need to worry about her.  Because she’s having so much fun, y’all.  Deena’s mom suggests therapy, because clearly Deena isn’t going to understand that it’s fun while you’re out on the Boardwalk Meatballing it up and barely avoiding a second arrest, but the fact is that the common denominator here is the ‘too much alcohol’ part, not the why.  It ends with Deena telling us that, My mom and me are like mother and daughter.”  So insightful!  They do really love each other, and Deena feels better having connected to home for a little bit.